Women with kids who say "my kid comes first"

[Reykhel]

I'm sure there's tons of threads on here regarding dating women with kids. In my recent POF experiment I noticed this line was prevalent in a lot of these mom's profiles. I've hooked up with some MILFS who said the same thing.

While I objectively understand that a child comes first to a parent, why would a guy want to have a relationship with someone where they won't be first priority in her life?

Just saying every time I read that in turns me off lol

Women are capable of loving only their kids unconditionally.....

That's a fact you'll have to just come to terms with.

She'll keep you around as long she's gaining a benefit from it...

That's a fact you'll have to just come to terms with.

She'll replace you quicker than you can say hypergamy doesn't care when you no longer
are providing any benefit to her.

That's a fact you'll....

Maybe a more interesting question would be why do you feel the need to be
on plenty of fatties....

 

[yuppee]

If you're not capable of loving her kid just as much as she does, keep moving, cause neither she or the kid deserve to be messed over by the likes of you

 

[DJLondoner]

Well yeah... it's true. Maybe use it to see what you are capable off. Maybe guys have kids but not every guy is 'Superman' to keep the right energy and support to make her feel safe to pass that energy to her kids... how would you like it when you have a kid and a woman who has to put up or feel empty what you don't have?

That's why I run around avoiding them because there are a lot like that. I don't focus my interests in them because I know what's coming for me once I start talking too them and the conversation gets deep because there's some guys I just don't like that should do be helping her anyways and how I end up with fights to get away from those guys.

 

[yuppee]

Is English not your native language? Cause you're rather poor at it, actually.

 

[samspade]

While I objectively understand that a child comes first to a parent, why would a guy want to have a relationship with someone where they won't be first priority in her life?

Just saying every time I read that in turns me off lol

The solution: Don't date single moms.

As others have noted, it's natural for a mom to put her kids first, single or not. If she DIDN'T put her kids first I'd think less of her.

Personally I wouldn't date a single mom. However, think about this...we're biologically programmed to reproduce. Mothers are programmed to nurture and protect their children. So even if you meet a woman you want to marry, if/when you have kids, they'll come first. It's human nature. And if the shoe were on the other foot (if you had kids) you'd probably feel the same.

 

[Jordski]

Ive dated one before, we met at the bar as she was introduced to me by a friend. Kinda cute,still looking young and all, that time i didnt know she already has a daughter. After few hours and shots i grabbed her to my car as i was trying to roll a joint. We did make out that night. Saw her couple days later for movies and another drinks, this time she already bring up talk about her daughter and how phuxkdup her ex hubby was. I smiled, stay quiet, but right then and there i knew that this is not gonna work out, still ended up making out at the parking lot and had sex at her place. Third date she said no one is looking after her daughter so she had to bring her along with us. It felt awkward, since Ive never done it before and we went to the malls nearby so i was kind of scared if any of my relatives or friends might see us with a lil girl lol. Her daughter was sleeping along the way back home, and i thought it was cute. But then when i got home i asked myself that i only wanted the sex and that i didnt want to add more baggage to her life and the otherwise. Point is, ask yourself what do you want from her? Ltr with a baggage? Nope, marriage? Of course not. Sorry i had to go into details, because i thought it was one of my good learning experience. Kinda miss her daughter though, since i promised to take her to swim lol.

 

[Reyaj]

Can all you idiots that are acting like I am questioning whether a woman should put her kids first go back and read my op then read Bradd's response as he obviously knows how to read and comprehend. Like wtf you all get fixated on one phrase lol

 

[Alvafe]

I think they understand the question, they just immediately toss in their value system.

Bottom line is that if men could do better, they wouldn't date single mothers.

would not even pass over they heads, remember 50 years ago no man would get close to a woman with kids. now we have people, like the ones who posted, who the only mention of you not wanting to date woman with kids trying to shame you.

and like I said before it don't matter if she put her kids first or not, like I said she put her kids first she is not good for you, if she don't put her kids first she is not a good mom and is not a LTR material, don't matter if you will want to have kids in the future or not, its something liked to her, she lack the basic you expect and hope from a female.

also remember this woman look for a man with resources, be it protection or money, remember if you have anything with her all your resources will be spend by her and her kid, even worse you stay with her long enough to have a kid with her, a kid you have no obligation, have the same value to her.

again I don't see a man with any logical thinking dealing with a woman with kids.

 

[Reyaj]

would not even pass over they heads, remember 50 years ago no man would get close to a woman with kids. now we have people, like the ones who posted, who the only mention of you not wanting to date woman with kids trying to shame you.

and like I said before it don't matter if she put her kids first or not, like I said she put her kids first she is not good for you, if she don't put her kids first she is not a good mom and is not a LTR material, don't matter if you will want to have kids in the future or not, its something liked to her, she lack the basic you expect and hope from a female.

also remember this woman look for a man with resources, be it protection or money, remember if you have anything with her all your resources will be spend by her and her kid, even worse you stay with her long enough to have a kid with her, a kid you have no obligation, have the same value to her.

again I don't see a man with any logical thinking dealing with a woman with kids.

I agree. I guess its ok for some guys though... guys that want to take care of kids and feel they really click with someone. I've seen it work before... just don't think it could ever be something for me.

 

[MrWood]

Strange..
all of the single moms I've dated were 34-38 with kids over 16yo
Issues mentioned here have never come to light.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

This thread, in my opinion, really drifted off topic without actually going off topic, if that makes sense.

What I mean is, if you are seeing a single mom for the purposes of having sex and just enjoying each other's company, who cares. Eject when necessary and just don't get overly involved in her lifestyle.

But if the two of you are actually trying to develop a LTR, maybe even leading to marriage, then yes this issue must be addressed at some point. To answer that, let me share my experience. I'm still married with kids, and in our marriage, the two of us come first, period. Oh sure, it's popular to say 'my kids come first' and we work hard to provide for our family and make sure they are well taken care of regarding education and development, but we as a married couple have to come first. Our issues, our problems and our happiness have to come first because if it doesn't then how in the world would be able to stand living with one another? How would we be able to enjoy having sex all the time, spending time with one another on one of the few dates we still go out on? How would we be able to set goals for our family, and plan on what we want to accomplish in a certain timeframe?

Women that don't get all of the above I just typed out will just end up divorced again. At some point, her kid must have a lower priority if you want to join your families.

 

[Alvafe]

Strange..
all of the single moms I've dated were 34-38 with kids over 16yo
Issues mentioned here have never come to light.

mostly? because they are old enough for her not care much anymore, also it will depend on how cultural your family core works, in US most after 18 will simple follow they path alone and just give a call to the parents to say they are still alive, most latin family, kids will be around don't matter how old they are, if is from a italian background then you ahve to deal with her mother too in a weekly basis.

and since you did just put over 16 with the woman you dated you know if teh kid was younger you had this issues so.

 

[MrWood]

agreed, and is why I am trying that if they are 32-40 kids are nearly ready to go byebye from the basic shared home, for LTR material.
there is exceptions if a female child, in eastern European families, they tend to stay at home..

 

[yuppee]

i married a single mom. I had my pick of thousands of others just as young and beautiful, but my wife impressed me, early on and continues to do so. She's got a great family. There's neither abortion nor divorce in her country. She picked a bad guy 7 years ago. I dont hold it against her. I"m glad the guy ran off.

 

[phillies]

I'm sure there's tons of threads on here regarding dating women with kids. In my recent POF experiment I noticed this line was prevalent in a lot of these mom's profiles. I've hooked up with some MILFS who said the same thing.

While I objectively understand that a child comes first to a parent, why would a guy want to have a relationship with someone where they won't be first priority in her life?

Just saying every time I read that in turns me off lol

Welcome to America. This is just your average western woman over 25.

 

[glass half full]

I think there's a difference between putting their kids first, and using it as an excuse to undervalue their man. This should be outlined by the man straight off. Disrespect is different from putting the kids first. Been there...it's a bad pill to swallow.

 

[MrWood]

I am on some very good OLD sites, scammer rate under 1%, eastern european.
Nearly all profiles with children, mention nothing about "my kid comes first" in the descriptions. You usually need to prompt them for info... it is more assumed that it is HER+child, rather than CHILD+her

 

[Reyaj]

What is strange for me is that I have done a lot better with girls with no kids than with milfs... I always thought milfs would be desparate and an easy piece of azz but I guess its a combination of being jaded and opportunistic as they are probably looking for someone with wealth. Agree?

 

[glass half full]

Yes women without kids would be much better. But hard to find in Modern America. Most seem to have already had a kid and divorced by 20yo where I live.