When they ask what you do for a living

[SkrooU]

So against my better judgement, after ditching POF, I subscribed for 3 months to Match before giving up on online dating. It's easier to get dates that way, but I just hate getting on the computer and writing emails and reading profiles. The women so far seem to be a much better quality. However, they all seem to ask what I do for a living within the first 5 messages. Some of them initiated contact by asking that in their message. I've been on there for 1 day now, and I have about 15 conversations going. Only one of them has expressed zero interest in my line of work. And this is the only that stated she was seeking a professionally established man. The others checked "no preference" for income and occupation.
I guess some may just be trying to make conversation but it comes across like I'm just being screened for an income, status, or personality test. I really don't like to define myself by what I do for a living. It sounds really boring but I'm good at it and make decent money. I have zero interest in what a woman does for a living and generally don't like talking about work. Once they ask me this I pretty much lose interest in them because I don't feel they're interested in getting to know me as much as they are just trying to size me up with some superficial test.
What do you guys think? Next them if they ask too early or just go with it?

 

[ubercat]

Just tell them casually. I m in construction, IT etc. and change the topic. It is a screen. But y would she take a date with a total loser. If she doesn't put her hand in her purse in the first 2-3 dates kick to curb. First date within 3-4 messages or same same.

 

[Bible_Belt]

they all seem to ask what I do for a living within the first 5 messages

Yep. That's because they are shopping for a husband. On POF, my interested girls were about 50% that way. I'm really not husband material...I just want to fvck. So those were the girls I typically stopped talking to right away. By contrast, I have fvcked several girls, sometimes for a long time, who never had any idea what I did for a job, or ever even came to my house. They never asked, because they just wanted sex.

 

[SkrooU]

they all seem to ask what I do for a living within the first 5 messages

Yep. That's because they are shopping for a husband. On POF, my interested girls were about 50% that way. I'm really not husband material...I just want to fvck. So those were the girls I typically stopped talking to right away. By contrast, I have fvcked several girls, sometimes for a long time, who never had any idea what I did for a job, or ever even came to my house. They never asked, because they just wanted sex.

I'm not husband material either. I'm too red pill to invest myself in one person. She'd have to be pretty damn amazing for that to happen. I don't even like waking up to a woman in my house. Matter of fact I don't like women being in my house. This usually works out because women who are interested in me generally want me to go to their place. Or maybe I'm just screening them so it seems that way. One thing I've found is that if I make them dinner and clean up well, some of them will even give me a copy of their house key. One time I had keys from 3 different women. I couldn't balance all that though. Fell apart after about a month.

I don't mind the question. It's going to come about eventually. It has to. It's the timing that turns me off. I mean are they even aware of how rude it is to make this the very first question you ask somebody and that it reveals how you truly value a person? If it's that important then list income and occupation requirements on your profile and stopping wasting a man's time. I'm interested in having a good time and fvcking. I'm not interested in handing over my resources to women who claim to be so independent, or any women.

 

[JaneGoodallNotes]

I'm interested in having a good time and fvcking. I'm not interested in handing over my resources to women who claim to be so independent, or any women.

It's too prevalent as "making conversation" to be considered a trigger, imo. The question doesn't bother me since I ask it all the time too at business, networking, and leads meetings. It's standard chit chat in tons of middle class environments. Men, women, family, and neighbors and everyone ask too.

If I were considering a date, I'd like to know who I'm dealing with too. A waitress, maid, sales, legal, government, church. Occupation says so much. A fvck hook up site like POF would be different, and I might not want to know. But Match means dates, which require conversation.

 

[SkrooU]

It's too prevalent as "making conversation" to be considered a trigger, imo. The question doesn't bother me since I ask it all the time too at business, networking, and leads meetings. It's standard chit chat in tons of middle class environments. Men, women, family, and neighbors and everyone ask too.

If I were considering a date, I'd like to know who I'm dealing with too. A waitress, maid, sales, legal, government, church. Occupation says so much. A fvck hook up site like POF would be different, and I might not want to know. But Match means dates, which require conversation.

This makes sense to an extent, at least at first glance. However, when there is no reply back or they continue talking to me but never bring up work again, it is seen more as a screening tool than a conversation starter. And I find it nothing but rude when I ask them questions about things on their profile and instead of answering them, they say "Hi, great questions. Hmmm I need some time for those. So what do you do for a living?"

This is literally one of the first 1-3 questions they all ask. They go on and on about how men should actually let them know they read their profile instead of using pick up lines or just saying hi. Then they message me and just say hi or what do you do for a living. Never ask me anything about anything on my profile, ever. Occasionally I'll get a compliment about my chest or smile or that I'm very handsome.

I really don't think occupation says as much as people think it does. We can't all do the jobs we want for various reasons. I have plenty of friends from all kinds of job sectors. I judge people based on how they treat people and take care of themselves. I've met plenty of a$$holes who work at churches or in the medical field, and some really great people who work at casinos or bars or Walmart.

 

[JaneGoodallNotes]

This is literally one of the first 1-3 questions they all ask. They go on and on about how men should actually let them know they read their profile instead of using pick up lines or just saying hi. Then they message me and just say hi or what do you do for a living. Never ask me anything about anything on my profile, ever. Occasionally I'll get a compliment about my chest or smile or that I'm very handsome.

I really don't think occupation says as much as people think it does.

"Women" messaging you out of the blue to ask about your occupation & little else? Suspicious. Then again, there are so many online games that it's really impossible to figure out. Did you read about Ashley Madison or other sex hook up site using female bots to hook male subscriptions? Which is worse, bots or gold diggers? Count yourself lucky if they don't reply. Might be fun to block them.

If it's too annoying, quit. But there are hot women looking for just sex online, if you don't mind older. Antone Johnson, Former VP at eHarmony, said most (probably all) dating sites skew heavily toward young men and older women, the people who struggle most in dating.

I met a really hot financially secure cougar, sex crazed after 15 years of celibate marriage. In California, people who did really well in real estate open their marriage rather than divorce. When she was prowling online, she might ask about your job, but it'd be to fantasize about your sweaty muscles flexing underneath a car or something. She'd build mental stories or fantasies about a guy beforehand, which helped her hobby of intense short term hook ups.

Maybe you have a work story with sexy imagery? It might hook interest from horny "rich" cougars looking for fun, and the others can go to hell. The odds would depends on your state though, there used to be a graphic about which Ashley Madison states had the greatest percentage of real women looking for sex/affairs.

The last online site I was at was XNXX. Kind of a freak show, but a huge variety of kinks, etc. Of course tons of horny guys, and some would post pictures of themselves. They'd get PMs from "women" who'd turn out to be men posing. Some were gay. Some liked cat fish pranks by bottom feeders. The worst story I heard was a guy who "identified female", loved every kind of submissive sex. Apparently he was great at sexchat. But he was so into his female identity that he didn't take hormone replacement. He'd cam or show up at a hotel room looking quite male underneath the makeup & clothes.

At first I'd laugh to hear this ****. But... That site was swarming with male sex addicts posing as women. It sounded like they could **** up guys heads worse than women. Women seem incompetent in comparison to these warped guys who know just what other lonely guys want to hear. I never hooked up from that site, but it left me afraid to try. Normal dating looks better than comparison. Like that old saying, it could be worse...

 

[CMNILS87]

It's a screen question yes, they're looking for free information, where you scale at on the income level. It's a size up question for sure. I think a lot of women are raised on traditional date material. The same old boring questions that are a script that you're "supposed" to ask. They're looking to see if you're self sustaining, interesting, and not a loser. I inject sarcasm.

"working on a commercial construction project for a company"

"I have a side business". "Ever met a real wizard?"

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Why so serious?!?!

Just deflect with sarcasm or a comedic answer. The majority of woman are looking for beta bucks so it's no surprise.

 

[corrector]

Why so serious?!?!

Just deflect with sarcasm or a comedic answer. The majority of woman are looking for beta bucks so it's no surprise.

Then they think you are hiding something and will ask again.

 

[corrector]

I agree with the OP as far as this being some sort of screening question. I went on these speed-dating things and one of the first or second question after all of the polite preliminary questions (i.e. if this is the first time you are trying speed-dating, etc....?) What you do for a living almost always comes up in the first 30 seconds of the interaction.

 

[Trump]

I guess some may just be trying to make conversation but it comes across like I'm just being screened for an income, status, or personality test. I really don't like to define myself by what I do for a living.

That's too bad bro because women do. They are not going to have sex with you because are a decent nice person who always goes to church. They want to see what use you are for them, and to some extent, society. What you do is almost EVERYTHING to a woman.

It sounds really boring but I'm good at it and make decent money. I have zero interest in what a woman does for a living and generally don't like talking about work.

Well of course bro. No guy wants a PhD girl who speaks 4 languages yet homely looking. Guys want hot sexy blonde high heels, etc. Your work defines 95% of her interest in you.

Once they ask me this I pretty much lose interest in them because I don't feel they're interested in getting to know me as much as they are just trying to size me up with some superficial test.
What do you guys think? Next them if they ask too early or just go with it?

I think you should get a better job if you are ashamed to tell them what you do for a living. If you were Doctor, Dentist, Hollywood Director, would you not disclose it? Come bro, you are laying it on thick because you think they will drop you or make fun of you about your job. Switch jobs.

 

[Tenacity]

What do you guys think? Next them if they ask too early or just go with it?

Well, if you NEXT them, you will end up filtering out about 90% of the plates you could acquire from OLD.

I've always preached that it's about Looks, Personality, and Finances in terms of formulating your attraction. You can get away with being a broke thug if you target mainly BLACK WOMEN, but no other race of women are going to go for that shyt on OLD.

- Your OLD should show your looks and you need to be at least a 6 or 7 out of 10.

- Your Personality should come through in your bio/summary message as well as when you are messaging her.

- You should clearly display that you have your finances together. If you have a nice car, put car pics up. If you have a degree, mention it in the bio/summary section. If your career isn't as well known or exciting, come up with some creativity in relation to it. For example, if you work Construction, say something in your bio/summary like: "I'm currently working Construction as a main architect of commercial building blueprints, and work on/oversee the team in terms of execution of all blueprints within specified time frames."

If your looks, personality, or finances are OFF, you aren't going to succeed at OLD....especially if you are targeting white, asian, and latino women who are hard as HELL to pull off OLD. Now black women might entertain you if your looks and personality are on point even if you are broke.....but again, black women are considered to be the LOWEST TIER of women in the country so, go figure.

 

[Billtx49]

Why so serious?!?!

Just deflect with sarcasm or a comedic answer. The majority of woman are looking for beta bucks so it's no surprise.

Best comedic answer I like is - I'm in gynocology, need an exam ?
Shuts her question down flat and shows her you have a real pair to even say that. Can lighten the mood under some conditions, as well as giving the convo a slight tinge of sex.
Method of delivery is situation dependent with this line though.

 

[ubercat]

Wouldn't you like to know," with a grin

Or make her guess. Then whatever she says pretend to be offended by it. I can't believe u thought I was a..... you owe me a drink. And then change the topic by saying anyway let's talk about something more interesting.... and then ask a question about her. What you don't want to do is have all this fun and mystery and then just tell her what your job is anyway. Don't give it up too easily

I personally find all this BS tedious but chicks love it.

 

[Tenacity]

This thread should also remind every guy that there's NOTHING wrong with us being shallow. I get static all of the time when I tell women that I don't like chicks who are overweight (I'm talking over 200lbs or nearing 200lbs) or who just have an ugly face. This is when they want to throw out how SHALLOW I am.

Yet, women have no issue being shallow...such as:

- Requiring a guy makes a certain amount
- Requiring a guy is a certain height
- Requiring a guy fvcks a certain way

All of those things are shallow as hell, but women don't get called out on that bullshyt. So never let a bytch shame you for being shallow when you decide to only date chicks who look a certain way.

 

[corrector]

If your looks, personality, or finances are OFF, you aren't going to succeed at OLD....especially if you are targeting white, asian, and latino women who are hard as HELL to pull off OLD. Now black women might entertain you if your looks and personality are on point even if you are broke.....but again, black women are considered to be the LOWEST TIER of women in the country so, go figure.

But are you Black? I mean you have a black man avatar so I'm not sure if that is you or not. If that's the case do you think your race has a factor of why white, asian and latino women are HARD to pull off on OLD in your experience?

 

[corrector]

Best comedic answer I like is - I'm in gynocology, need an exam ?
Shuts her question down flat and shows her you have a real pair to even say that. Can lighten the mood under some conditions, as well as giving the convo a slight tinge of sex.
Method of delivery is situation dependent with this line though.

Okay, she may go along with it but ask again more seriously just later, then what do you say? Eventually it is going to look like you are hiding something. A high status guy wouldn't mind talking about his job right?

 

[Tenacity]

But are you Black? I mean you have a black man avatar so I'm not sure if that is you or not. If that's the case do you think your race has a factor of why white, asian and latino women are HARD to pull off on OLD in your experience?

Yes, that's my picture lol. And I would think my race does comes into play with pulling off women of other races, but white guys routinely talk about how they massively FAIL at OLD. I believe that's in part to White, Asian, and Latino women being very hard to pull off of there.

 

[corrector]

Yes, that's my picture lol. And I would think my race does comes into play with pulling off women of other races, but white guys routinely talk about how they massively FAIL at OLD. I believe that's in part to White, Asian, and Latino women being very hard to pull off of there.

Does your race help you or hurt you, particularly with White, Asian and Latino women? The thing is I think where I live, I see plenty of Asian chicks and ethnic chicks next to white guys like 80% of the time, and I'm like what's up with that? Are they being rejected by white women and going after the other ethnic girls or these women like whites over other Asian or other types of guys? So, I'm thinking that because Blacks are associated with "trouble" and poverty that people come to stereotypical assumptions that if you are Black then you are either poor, or made money selling drugs or some other small-time criminal enterprise, or have a lengthy criminal record. Even escorts are rejecting Black clients. .

I'm Black myself (i.e. I would be considered Black at least since I'm mixed) but I don't know much about how my own race has factored in. What's your story again? (i.e. Why did you join sosuave, what are your goals with women, are you achieving these goals, what worked for you?) You seem to be advocating looks, money and status. Isn't that AFC though? I mean that type of thing is common knowledge. It's how an AFC would think. How would you differentiate your logic from AFC mentality? I mean, you want to get ahead in life because of yourself, not to attract a woman. Yet, I thought there was some skill that naturals had, or that's learned that you could learn something to attract a woman where your own economic circumstances would not matter. I mean isn't it a bit far fetched to say that poor people can't get laid. Why are so many people married in third world countries then?