Discussion in 'The Hall of Excellence' started by maknmovs, Nov 25, 2001.
4 times in a row of being told... "you are a great guy BUT"
enough of that sh!t
For me it was 1 particular girl that I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking infatuated with and went from cool guy to the biggest AFC on the planet once I got her (had sex with her, went out a few times and figured she liked me). AFCness got the best of me in a big way and she vanished faster than you can say AFC.
I vowed that would never happen again.
Wasn't the breaking point but it was the ramp leading to the jump.
The actual point was after the worst bout of oneitis I'd had in years over a girl I went to college with. Suddenly after being being single for a long time she grabs herself a boyfriend, a rather AFC guy who she pretty much told to date her as the story goes. Of course I'm pissed as I was "working up my courage" at the time but so is another guy who was a mutual friend. Came out later that he had been her secret f**kbuddy for some time and had been tossed away when she wanted a "real" boyfriend. And yet having this boyfriend she continued to try and attention ***** both of us.
What's interesting is how our paths diverged from this point.
The other guy apparently had a bit of natural in him and proceeded to become quite the manwh0re over the course of a year while at the same time cheating on the girlfriend he gained during that time. The guy constantly lies to girls with low-esteem, has nearly gotten at least one girl pregnant, and appears to be defining his life around how many notches he's added to his bedpost. It is mostly all he talks about on the occasions that we speak, like he has something to prove. Despite this, when the first girl came back to town after a long absence it was clear that she still has him wrapped around her finger.
I on the other hand took a look at myself and decided that the first thing I needed to do was to make myself into a better man, women would come later once I became a male they would desire. I got a better job, started dressing better, got more serious about working out, and forced myself to go out more and expand my social circles. Women did start to approach me more often but I still had issues dealing with them and after searching through so many pages of PUA material and what not I came across this forum and felt that it fit my style. I lurked for months before making an account, trying to absorb everything I could.
Has the other guy gotten more lays than I over this amount of time? Yes, but I'm not bothered by that. He's going for quantity while I seek quality and I can tell that he's just trying to prove something to everyone and probably to that first girl while I don't feel the need to prove anything. To me he reeks of insecurity and rather disgusts me with his lack of pride and integrity, apparently still not truly over a girl whom I've long since lost the ability to care about, especially after replacing her several times over.
My breaking point was one girl over a 12 month period.
She displayed initial interest and we went out twice. Had a brilliant first date after I dropped her off I literally went and sat on a park bench for ten minutes smiling feeling ridiculously impossibly happy and I wanted to savour it before going home and facing the humdrum of reality.
I got nervous as **** on the second date and didn't kiss close when I knew I should have nor did I initiate enough kino (you wouldn't believe how many times I replayed the following scene over in my head over the next few months)
We went to a movie, went for a walk around the shopping centre and we were sitting alone on a couch, pussied out. She said she had to get pick up from the food court, we went to the food court. Hugged and she left up an escalator. Literally realised that I had majorly ****ed up about 30 seconds after she left, ran up the elevator to find her and kiss her but she had already left. Felt like absolute crap on the way home and ended up watching that disney song "Kiss the Girl" on youtube (yeah super lame).
This was in early december, didn't see her during Christmas, tried to set up a third date after Christmas, saw her once but both our families were there so it wasn't really a great 'date'.
I was crazy about her at this stage, kept asking her out every weekend for a school term (so obvious my mistakes now. Made myself so low value) she kept saying no because of co curricular engagements but this is the thing I really should have picked up on SHE NEVER OFFERED AN ALTERNATIVE.
Then a couple of months later she gets with a guy when she's drunk at a party who from his facebook looks like a couple douchebag (never met him just facebook stalked him. Hey, I was out of my mind about this girl) and he drops multiple F-bombs, C-bombs into his statuses. At this point my main question was, why him over me?
I'm intelligent, I'm athletic, I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm a pretty great guy and yet she chooses him....
That my friends is the breaking point when you get to the point where you are literally obsessing over a girl and trying your hardest to forget her but can't and she's off getting with other guys NEVER THINKING ABOUT YOU. Hurts so much (plus I had to see her on a regular basis for sport; which just reignited the pain each time).
So yeah I just though 'yeah bugger this' and through the powers of google and hyperlinks I found this website. I'm currently dating a girl who on the first date flaked but then OFFERED AN ALTERNATIVE which made me so happy and later texted "I'm really keen on you, do you feel the same way?" completely out of the blue. I feel like I have regained control over my relationships now and that I have power in the relationship rather than being 'some annoying guy who I went out with once or twice and he always asks me out. So lame" It feels great and yet I still have a lot to learn from this site.
Had 1 girlfriend in highschool (maybe a 6.5), basically used her to lose my v card. 2nd girl I dated I was head over heels for. She knew it to. We dated for 2 months summer after I graduated. I was whipped, brought her ice cream, Starbucks or whatever when she was Workin. Always paid for dates. Farthest I ever went with her was a bj in 2 months. She finally gave me the "you're a great guy, super nice and will make some girl very happy. Just not me I'm not ready for a relationship blah blah I still wanna be friends." broke my heart so I decided to do something about it. That's when I discovered David deangelo and then eventually other things. I was determined never to let a woman have that kinda power over me
I had always went out of my way to please/help my relatives, and people had viewed me as being at a high level, then one year I was struggling financially and instead of appreciating what I had done for them before or being supportive they completely put me down and this completely changed my perspective of the world. Also, then I learned how most women because of their hypergamy were after money/status, and with eventually learning Game I now never spend much money on women. The quote, "The key to failure is to try to please other people," was making more sense to me.
Additionally, I still had my V-card at an age when most other people had done it many times by then, because I had the limiting belief (by going to churches that preached often over and over that sex was in marriage ONLY and we had to submit to this and that is how it is). I had no money to get married then, therefore no sex for me. Then, after a few more years of still not having money to get married and no car, I stopped going to churches, the priest abuse scandal happened, friends that I thought were waiting for marriage also said they had not waited like I was, I read an article about how the original Greek word for fornication in bibles was the incorrect translation as it was not even about pre-marital sex in the context of back then with most getting married around 13 back then anyway so churches had made up their preaching that was incorrect, and this all lead me to finally decide by my own thinking to have the new belief that I could allow myself to have sex even without being married. On Youtube I saw a clip about Approaching women (a new concept to me then). I learned basic Game views about "dating" in ways to attract women. Being a masculine man. I never got into Game as lines/routines, as I'm glad I went over that and after a while got right into the seduction community (Escalating was a new term to me). I decided to never get married to protect myself financially from a divorce because I'm into business that's more imortant to me and I have to also protect myself business wise from a divorce. I now put myself/my own goals first, don't care what others may think, and I'm now a man of action who takes action every day to achieve my goals. So, Game/Seduction/DJ, is now my lifestyle for life.
My breaking point was having 2 dates in 3 years. With about 15 rejections. Despite having read Neil Strauss, Mystery Method and Vin DiCarlo.
I slowly realised that these silly techniques like palmistry and magic tricks could only work in a movie, or if you were Mystery himself. DiCarlo taught me that Mystery/Style's techniques only work on pretty much one type of woman. Pandora's box was slightly more helpful but once again it just assumes you can have the swagger to pull this **** off after having only read about it in a crappy book.
Basically i realised I have to do more than just read about it. I have to smile at girls I walk past, say 'hi'. Then work up to chatting to the person in front of me in a queue. Then eventually starting to get in sets again.
Then I found this site a month ago and **** is getting better. I'm walking away from bad behaviour. Friends who ignore me are now ex-friends. I treat myself with respect and only those who respect me can hang out with me.
End of little woeful tale! lol
Powerful story man. Thanks for sharing:rockon:
Well, I have to say that I just got fed up with it. I realised that I was not getting anything out of the thing, and she wasn't progressing anywhere herself either. The same problems keep coming up, which she loves talking about, etc. Her history is like that too, i.e. finding "nice and deep guys" who want to listen and end up getting a crush on her, while she just wants to vomit her problems out. No more, sister... x D
So yeah, now I've just distanced myself from her a bit, not even getting to that mess of hers but directing the discussion to other areas and ramping up my masculine energy a bit : D She looks a bit clueless now, and funnily enough, seems to have found another "nice guy" to dump those problems on x D The cycle goes on...
But yeah, we're studying basic physics in uni now, and that has made me realise a lot in regard to this whole "nice guy" / man -stuff. I mean if you're approaching women like a neutral person (friend) or even adapting to their own electric charge (feminine), there simply can be no attraction! : o You need polarity, i.e. masculine + feminine for attraction to occur!
Personally, I can see where I've gone wrong. Too deep, too neutral, too feminine. Time to embrace the masculine as well...it seems that thinking is not good with women, they just get too tied up and confused about everything. Like wtf, learn to relax a bit! : o : D So less talking, and more stuff that creates good feelings, i.e. smiling, touching, playing...
Exactly. It's weird, I realised how this applies to women as well only recently. I mean if I can take care of myself, then the same should apply to women as well! I am not their caretaker / therapist, and neither should they be mine! : D Discussion is fine of course, but not when one party is relying heavily on the other, i.e. not taking any responsibility for themselves. The basic problem of the neutral / feminine "nice guy" is that you're actually taking care of the woman's problems, i.e. listening listening listening! : o Thus you're also hindering her own growth, because she can just dump all the sh1t on you instead of really dealing with it herself.
So guys, treating yourself with respect is actually doing everyone a favour! ; D
For me, it started right after when a girl was giving a strong impression that a romantic relationship was evolving between us, but in truth, she was just using me for professional advantages.
She was a coworker that really started saying nice things to me, and knew how to address my feelings, like a real girlfriend. Problem is, I discovered she was bee-jaying another colleague of mine, who is married, a couple of times every week.
And then she got so used to take advantage of me, to the point that it was *implied* I had to be her emotional tampon and also professional support to help her, because that was the least expected of me and the ultimate point to where our "friendship" had evolved.
It has been six months we didn´t talk anymore. And I felt like crap. Cmon... playing all romantic on me, giving me false hopes, but hiding out with a married jerk from the office to play happy-hands-and-happy-mouth in the parking lot?
Promised myself not falling for that anymore.
"We're still friends"
AMEN to that. I'm in good company.
Mine was when I totally lost my way. I have always been a natural with women, I've always just been good with them for as long as I can remember. Loads of girlfriends from the ages of 13-17. I actually lost my virginity at 13. I had this girlfriend at 16 for just over a year. She was mad on me, absolutely obsessed. I treat her bad and cheated on her. She found out and ended it. I was mad at myself for letting such a good girl go and treating her so bad and went AFC on her for the first time in my life. Instead of going NC I was constantly ringing her and trying to sort it out and win her back. It just pushed her further and further away. The further she was the more I tried. I was no longer the "cool" lad that she had first met that was a catch for any girl. Instead I was just a loser.
Well that was almost two years ago. Came here after a 6 month break from any intimacy with females, mind clear and ready to brush up on the basics that I made me the womanizer I was previously. It has worked and I'm so grateful to anyone that has helped me along the way.
As a child, my father would constantly leave on business trips, thus I spent most of my time with my mother (and younger sister). Maybe it was the lack of time that I spent with my dad, but I ended up as a nice guy all the way throughout high school/1st year college. The nice guy syndrome has hurt me more than it helped it seems.
Now that I found out about this site, hopefully I can learn more about what went wrong before and how I can go from ng to dj.
(19 here btw)
What got me into game/PUA was my first "accidental" f-close (I gamed a girl without even knowing I was gaming her); it was the first time I had any action in a long time so I wanted to know how to do it on a consistent basis. I bought The Game by Strauss and the rest is history.
Fast forward 1 year - now, what got me into Red Pill theory/dating was when I dated my first slvt who I had a SNL with (needless to say, the relationship went straight to h3ll). Everything you can imagine going wrong, went wrong (she even went on a cruise to Cancun with her best friend one weekend. Ha.). In hindsight I'm glad she put me through all that because if she didn't I wouldn't know everything I do today (and I probably would've ended up marrying a slvt later/richer in life and lost a lot more).
My breaking point was today
I'm midnight. A freshman in college an amateur PUA. My breaking point was today, about 3 hours ago. I went on date, got back to my room and kissed closed, but nothing else. Every good pickup artists knows that 90% of the time its never the girls fault, its just the things you did or didn't do that you ****blocked yourself. I just realized that I am too nice, it's time to be a king and stop trying so hard.
Great old thread!
I got hurt by 3 different girls. I was the sandbox dj but a few certain events in my childhood made me a nice guy and kept to myself. Im pretty goodlooking but didnt have game i was chillin in class with a buddy of mine and he said i had no game and he had a few girls tell me this so i surfaced my old ways and starting getting more action. I moved in with my dad downstate and saw a post on my old facebook "don jon tips keep the pad clean" it was about the movie don jon (good movie btw) and i google it and find don juan tips (this site) i go on and im mesmorized and started applying it before i started the new school. I visited my mom and i went to a store with her. Guess what one of the girls that said i had no game was the cashier so is pit some game on her and have her blushing while i never even complemented so i just leave her wondering i wasnt in that town anymore. So then i get back here which is a tourist town and the local girls arent good looking so now its summer the shoobies are out and its time to put my game to the test big time. Im gonna get there reach my goals fulill my dreams get there i did everything else when i came here goal wise except a job which ill get soon enough. Ill be like a g eazy song by the end of the summer. Im alreadyaking progress i just need more practice but i gotta **** blocking "friend" which all my real friends hate now so now i can get it in. Ive always got the dime with my crew. Its on now ill be there or die trying. I will be the next don juan or cassanova. And isnt it a coincidence i was always called pook as a child? Im inspired time to do something formyself for once.