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what do you do when a girl doesnt know what she wants?

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by aix237, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. aix237

    aix237 Senior Don Juan

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    You're with a girl for more than a year lived with her for the past 8 months. She all the sudden gets stressed out with completing school and getting a job. She says she needs to find herself and says she needs to find out what exactly she wants to do...move and get a job with you or move away to back home....possibly get married to you. she just isn't sure what she wants. Im talking about my situation. I just talked to her today i no longer live with her. I basically told her how i felt and left the ball in her court. I said once youre ready im ready call me when your ready she said ok. that doesnt exactly mean im going ot wait around for her but still. How else should i handle this? Im assuming i should never call her cause I left the ball with her since shes in a sensitive situation . Im thinking shell crack and call. When i tlak to her again should I say i want your answer yes or no right now if she doesnt come out saying anything? I will look around for other chicks but im not going to next her right now for a stupid situation. Any good suggestions? I really love and care about her.
     
  2. MightyMate

    MightyMate Master Don Juan

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    Girls usually dont know what they want.
     
  3. faster

    faster Don Juan

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    What she is trying to tell you is that she met some other guy and wants to dump you. Next.
     
  4. Kitsu

    Kitsu New Member

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    I just got out of a relationship where the girl had a similar mindset. All I can say is that, from my experience, when she says she doesn't know what she wants it means she doesn't know if she wants <i>you</i> anymore. If you really love her you have to give her the space she needs right now to decide for herself. If you push too much it'll just push her away.
     
  5. squirrels

    squirrels Master Don Juan

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    If she's not sure whether it feels right to be with you, then she's not really that into you.

    If she wants out of the relationship, give her out. But that means you're out too, you're not waiting around for her.

    It sounds an awful lot like what Faster said. Either that or she's seeing all her friends living the "glamorous" American single life, slutting from club to club, and she feels tied down. Could be partly that she's immature, could be partly that your life just wasn't fun for her.

    Point is, women come up with feelings first, and reasons after the fact. The feelings are what matter, the reasons are an exercise in bullsh*t.

    She feels uncomfortable being committed to you...that's the feeling. Then she concocted this "find herself" reason to justify how she feels to her rational side.
     
  6. jigga23

    jigga23 Banned

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  7. aix237

    aix237 Senior Don Juan

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    This is not the first time this happened though...The other time I would be nice for a little while i let her take her time. Then I would get to the point where I would be fvck it and say im not sticking around anymore you decide otherwise were not talking anymore and it usually worked. But ive never seen her like this so i dont know. When i talked to her last i said call me when youre ready, so im going to give her till sun i think and call her up and say i guess you want to find yourself byyourself so were done talking forever. smart or not smart?
     
  8. pressure0354

    pressure0354 Don Juan

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    personally those girls are too frustrating to deal with. cut her loose.
     
  9. blueangel83

    blueangel83 Senior Don Juan

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    Wait for her call. In the mean time screw other girls.
     
  10. aix237

    aix237 Senior Don Juan

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    seriously I just want to tell her that Im done with all this sh*t and give her a deadline cause this is not the first time and we should never talk again and see what she says casue thats how i really feel. I understand she needs space and if i give it to her then she will feel respected and cared about but seriously im impatient maybe a lot more than her but still. I want to be with her but frankly this aint fair but I dont want to really throw all this sh*t away. Any other options of what to say and do and besides nexting her? How well does it work when you give them the space they ask for and they know where you stand already? or is it better to put the pressure on and tell her its over and we should never talk?
     
  11. DJHoolahoop

    DJHoolahoop Senior Don Juan

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    Dude if I was in that situation I would just tell her that you're ok with her needing time to figure things out. Afterall man this girl is realizing that she has to figure out her life and what she wants out of it. She has to think about the kind of job and lifestyle she wants because now it's time for her to get things going.

    SO of course she's going to think about her life and who's a part of it and whether or not things can be incorporated or will have to be left behind.

    I would say to her that she should figure this out and that you'll be there to support her. That at the same time, you'll use the opportunity to do the same. Give her a sense that there's a chance you'll evaluate your life and possible change some things.
     
  12. flexion_

    flexion_ Master Don Juan

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    She has made a decision - the decision is not to be with you for whatever reason. Sounds like you are doing everything pretty well. Its not easy but the quicker you move on the better.
     
  13. []D [] []V[] []D

    []D [] []V[] []D Senior Don Juan

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    move on.
     

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