Was fine after breakup, now getting worse wtf

[custardpie]

Broke up with my live-in girlfriend of nearly 2 years recently. I moved out in January of this year and we have been txting sporadically and have seen eachother 2 or 3 times since, just as friends and for sex. When we split she said she wanted to keep me as a friend in her life and she would always love me. She knew that with my previous girlfriend I cut all contact and didn't reply to her even though she sent me multiple messages over the months after we split up, so she feared I would do the same to her. Since our breakup was mutual and we left eachother on good terms I agreed to keep in contact and promised I wouldn't just cut her off.

So now I guess it's been 6-8 weeks since I've heard from her. She sent me a txt a while ago to which I replied. Then with no reply from her I sent another telling her to come over that weekend, no reply.

I have been thinking about her more and more lately mostly because I was worried something had happened to her (lol) since I know her well and I know the troubles she has in her life (I won't go into them all now). So today I decided to check her facebook and low and behold she is on there and updated her main pic a few days ago. What a moron I am!

So yea, it was quite a surprise to find out that one of the few people I thought cared about me in this life actually doesn't give a **** when it comes down to it. Feels ****ty and it's almost like going through the breakup all over again.

Funny thing is, I wanted to cut all contact when we broke up and it was her that convinced (begged) me not to lose contact as she apparently needed me so much in her life if only as a friend. I feel like an idiot...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Broke up with my live-in girlfriend of nearly 2 years recently. I moved out in January of this year and we have been txting sporadically and have seen eachother 2 or 3 times since, just as friends and for sex. When we split she said she wanted to keep me as a friend in her life and she would always love me. She knew that with my previous girlfriend I cut all contact and didn't reply to her even though she sent me multiple messages over the months after we split up, so she feared I would do the same to her. Since our breakup was mutual and we left eachother on good terms I agreed to keep in contact and promised I wouldn't just cut her off.

Your commincation to her makes her feel confident and secure.

So now I guess it's been 6-8 weeks since I've heard from her. She sent me a txt a while ago to which I replied. Then with no reply from her I sent another telling her to come over that weekend, no reply.

I have been thinking about her more and more lately mostly because I was worried something had happened to her (lol) since I know her well and I know the troubles she has in her life (I won't go into them all now). So today I decided to check her facebook and low and behold she is on there and updated her main pic a few days ago. What a moron I am!

Main pic is updated with another guy?

So yea, it was quite a surprise to find out that one of the few people I thought cared about me in this life actually doesn't give a **** when it comes down to it. Feels ****ty and it's almost like going through the breakup all over again.

Funny thing is, I wanted to cut all contact when we broke up and it was her that convinced (begged) me not to lose contact as she apparently needed me so much in her life if only as a friend. I feel like an idiot...

She likes the support and security you give her, it makes her feel better about herself. Dont' let her use you in this role because it will diminish your self view. Maybe later on you can pop up once or twice a month, but now you need to move on. The quickest and easiest way to fully detach and get under your own power is to get some new puzzy. Find one that will go out of it's way for you and do what you want.

 

[custardpie]

No the main facebook pic wasn't with another guy, just a pic of her obviously trying to look sexy laying on her front on the bed taking a selfie with high contrast to hide her flaws lol

I've already been trying to get new *****, I've been on 4 'dates' already. I've banged one girl though to be honest I could do a lot better, she is overweight and way too clingy so I'm dropping her already.
I had a date with a quite attractive 32yr old Indian woman the other day which went great, might see her again.
I do have options it just feels ultra ****ed up when old wounds get torn open again that you thought had healed. Realising the one person you thought might have actually cared about you as a person really doesn't give a damn as long as they're being entertained by something else in their life...it's a hard thing to accept.

 

[Tenacity]

Custard,

I wouldn't make a big deal out of this and I wouldn't over-analyze it. Just spin plates for the time being and when you find one of those plates that's worthy to get into a relationship with....then do so.

Just keep your Ex in your FB friends or in your telephone contacts. Try to take pics with the new plates you have and post to your FB wall so your Ex can see some of these new chicks. You just want her to THINK in her mind that you a lot of options or that you are seeing other women. What that does is down the line, perhaps keep the channel open to where you can go back to her for more pvssy.

 

[Tictac]

2 years is a while. So it shouldn't feel too big a surprise to feel a bit of a hole after you've been out of touch for a couple of months. 'Tough guys' here excepted of course ;-)

If she reaches out again, assume she wants to see you and ask her out. Otherwise keep quiet.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

No the main facebook pic wasn't with another guy, just a pic of her obviously trying to look sexy laying on her front on the bed taking a selfie with high contrast to hide her flaws lol

I've already been trying to get new *****, I've been on 4 'dates' already. I've banged one girl though to be honest I could do a lot better, she is overweight and way too clingy so I'm dropping her already.
I had a date with a quite attractive 32yr old Indian woman the other day which went great, might see her again.

The chubby one sounds like she's going to work really hard, give you great head and puzzy when you like. Keep that one around until you have a sure option, and back her off as a friend at that point. If you come into a drought she can be pulled out to do her thing. I would be loading up on as much puzzy as I can get.

I do have options it just feels ultra ****ed up when old wounds get torn open again that you thought had healed. Realising the one person you thought might have actually cared about you as a person really doesn't give a damn as long as they're being entertained by something else in their life...it's a hard thing to accept.

That's how some people are. At one point you kinda entertained her obviously.

 

[custardpie]

I should make it clear I'm not looking to get back with her, I was miserable for the last few months we were together. She would spend as much time as possible out of the house and most nights would sleep at her mums house down the road...leaving me to go to bed alone pretty much every night for months on end. The few times she was at home for the night she would sleep in the spare room which she had slowly moved all her things into.

I never was her top priority I always felt I was at the bottom of her list of important people in her life. Now it's confirmed I'm not quite sure why I'm so surprised.

What people say on this site is true, women seem to be incapable of actually loving a man. They might love what he represents or what he brings to their life but they will never love you as an individual.

 

[Glassguy]

I was in the same boat. 3 year LTR, supposed to get married in May, broke up in February. Best friends, great sex, got along wonderfully with her family. All very close.

Knowing what I know now (and knew then but didnt apply it), I should have walked out with a smile on my face when we got in an argument and she handed the ring back (thankfully....$8K for it).

We talked a few times the first 2 weeks after the breakup and all that did was cause more grief. Some days I felt like I lost the one, that moved on to anger and resentment. Lots of mixed signals on her end and always through texts.

I finally stopped responding, got all my stuff back. I thought her little contact was to keep herself away from me so that she could be strong, like I was her kryptonite. Now I just look back and think that is how she was, how she treated me after the breakup and there is no going back.

A few texts from her here and there and I havent responded. Waste of time.

It definitely gets better. LTR, especially the ones that were very close and amazing, are tough to get over. I dont care how tough you are. But it takes time, and when you start getting your mojo back it starts getting fun.

The end result is walk away, give them little room to come back (as long as it wasnt cheating, etc) and then go forward making yourself better to get back out there in the game with no contact at all.

There are many more fish in the sea!

 

[dude99]

Broke up with my live-in girlfriend of nearly 2 years recently. I moved out in January of this year and we have been txting sporadically and have seen eachother 2 or 3 times since, just as friends and for sex. When we split she said she wanted to keep me as a friend in her life and she would always love me. She knew that with my previous girlfriend I cut all contact and didn't reply to her even though she sent me multiple messages over the months after we split up, so she feared I would do the same to her. Since our breakup was mutual and we left eachother on good terms I agreed to keep in contact and promised I wouldn't just cut her off.

So now I guess it's been 6-8 weeks since I've heard from her. She sent me a txt a while ago to which I replied. Then with no reply from her I sent another telling her to come over that weekend, no reply.

I have been thinking about her more and more lately mostly because I was worried something had happened to her (lol) since I know her well and I know the troubles she has in her life (I won't go into them all now). So today I decided to check her facebook and low and behold she is on there and updated her main pic a few days ago. What a moron I am!

So yea, it was quite a surprise to find out that one of the few people I thought cared about me in this life actually doesn't give a **** when it comes down to it. Feels ****ty and it's almost like going through the breakup all over again.

Funny thing is, I wanted to cut all contact when we broke up and it was her that convinced (begged) me not to lose contact as she apparently needed me so much in her life if only as a friend. I feel like an idiot...

When you told her you 100% cut bait with the ex it presented a challenge for her to see if she could still keep you on a string after the break up. She did just that. Texting you and having sex with you for a brief time was nothing more than her having her ego fed. Best thing you can do is cut her off like a dead limb and do not reply ro anything she texts or mesages. Also do not have sex with her anymore. She knows that will keep you emotionally attached.

 

[ZTIME]

I should make it clear I'm not looking to get back with her, I was miserable for the last few months we were together. She would spend as much time as possible out of the house and most nights would sleep at her mums house down the road...leaving me to go to bed alone pretty much every night for months on end. The few times she was at home for the night she would sleep in the spare room which she had slowly moved all her things into.

I never was her top priority I always felt I was at the bottom of her list of important people in her life. Now it's confirmed I'm not quite sure why I'm so surprised.

What people say on this site is true, women seem to be incapable of actually loving a man. They might love what he represents or what he brings to their life but they will never love you as an individual.

All of this misery and disrespect from her and yet you still get upset about her new profile pic! Why??

Perhaps originally when you first started dating her you felt that you were at the peak of your alpha-maleness?? You felt like you bagged yourself an 8-10 who had some past issues, (you said) and you might be able to help her out and live happily ever after.

In your 2 years of living together she pushed things so bad that you had enough. Sound familiar?

The question is.... Before you decided enough was enough, how much of your "alpha-maleness" did she strip away? On this sight they Call that losing frame, and it's important because you have yet to readjust your frame to solely focus on you.

How do I know? Well, I do. Time to refocus on your life without any part of her in it. Find that guy that you were before you found the one horned muddy goat you thought was a unicorn.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Feels like you're in a weird science fiction movie.... right?

Initially, you were relieved to get her out of your life and now you find yourself not wanting to entirely let go.
I've been there. In fact, anyone that's been in enough relationship has had this experience.

There's a lot of truth in the above postings (her distance due to feeling confident etc..). You've probably tried to analyze, but when we find ourselves in the middle of the situation, it can be difficult to step outside of the equation and get an objective view.

Think back to the person you were when she was vying for your attention. Think of your behavior... think of your mindset.... think about your attitude etc... It was a combination of these elements that she found attractive (as she demonstrated by not wanting to let you go).

As mentioned, nearly all of us have been there and somewhere down the line, you diluted your above formula. And like some weird paradox, we find ourselves switching roles with our ex (and suddenly vying for *their* attention).

You can turn this around of course.... but will it be worth it? I think not.

You'll find that in order to hold her attention , you'll need to calculate your moves. Women are pretty good at noticing if something is authentic or fake, but it can be mastered.
Have you noticed that when she was interested, you weren't and now that your interested, she isn't?
Do you really want to interact with a woman --- where a cycle like this must thrive?

 

[guru1000]

Now, the focus is on YOU.

1. First, eliminate ALL methods of communications and nostalgic items:

• Block her from facebook.
• Block her number on your phone.
• Remove all items from your house that remind you of her.

2. Next, create a workshop toward improving yourself:

1. Join a gym--or--set your workout schedule, daily, weekly, monthly goals. Write it down.
   
2. Increase your wealth. Opportunities to promote at work? Start a business? Invest your assets lucratively.
3. How is your pad? Time for an upgrade? Or refurbish?
4. Car? Time to update?
5. Wardrobe. Time to update with clothes fit for a king.
6. Hair. Groomed? New style in order?
7. Physicality. What type of improvements (cosmetic or otherwise) are necessary to augment your appearance. Get it done.

3. Last, and I find this most helpful: Create a to-do list enumerating at least ten small goals to be performed daily. This to-do is your new boss. Keep all thoughts focused strictly on your to-do.

Oh, and as to this ex-gf of yours ... Thank her before you block her. She did you a huge favor. Congrats on the new man you will become.

 

[Alvafe]

its like guru said you need to eliminate all contact with ex's, waste of time otherwise

only reason you are feeling down is you know you are being used and are not likeing it, why have sex with a her when you can use that time on having sex with a hotter woman?

 

[phillies]

I should make it clear I'm not looking to get back with her, I was miserable for the last few months we were together. She would spend as much time as possible out of the house and most nights would sleep at her mums house down the road...leaving me to go to bed alone pretty much every night for months on end. The few times she was at home for the night she would sleep in the spare room which she had slowly moved all her things into.

I never was her top priority I always felt I was at the bottom of her list of important people in her life. Now it's confirmed I'm not quite sure why I'm so surprised.

What people say on this site is true, women seem to be incapable of actually loving a man. They might love what he represents or what he brings to their life but they will never love you as an individual.

sounds like my breakup with my ltr. It was pretty difficult for me, mostly because I got to the v point where I felt I could do and say anything I wanted and she wouldn't leave, which might be a little different than your story.

It's ok to feel how you feel. It's normal if you were with her for Two years. And you lived together? Man you saw her everyday, she was part if your life.

But you know now its over with her. You have to just accept it's time to move on.

Women's love is conditional. Everyone's is, except sometimes your parents or family. But maybe, just maybe, some women will love you under more conditions than others will. Some women have very few conditions where they'll love you.

It's true about your keeping contact with her gives her confidence. She certainly loved you at one time, but she stopped loving you.

Her begging was a ploy to keep you on the hook till she felt secure without you.

All you can do now is move forward now.

No matter what never talk to this chick again.

 

[custardpie]

Oh I remembered another little ****ed up detail. Last time we saw eachother was before valentines, so when valentines day came she txt me saying she'd bought me a gift and card, I told her she was being silly doing that but she said 'she wanted to feel like she had someone to buy it for'. And I haven't seen her since so she never even intended to come over to give me them.
It's almost like she wanted to reject me after piling a final bit of love onto me just so it would hurt all the more when she could finally be the one to choose to 'end things' at least in her mind.

 

[Yewki]

She wanted to "stay friends" in order to use your for attention and validation while she found another branch to swing to. Key words in the previous sentence, use you

 

[custardpie]

The question is.... Before you decided enough was enough, how much of your "alpha-maleness" did she strip away? On this sight they Call that losing frame, and it's important because you have yet to readjust your frame to solely focus on you.

Pretty much all of it. She would constantly find things to argue with me about, like I said she made sure she was around me as little as possible during the last few months. Funnily enough, since we broke up after New Years we've had sex 2 or 3 times, and that's still more on average than I was getting before the breakup lol

 

[ZTIME]

Pretty much all of it. She would constantly find things to argue with me about, like I said she made sure she was around me as little as possible during the last few months. Funnily enough, since we broke up after New Years we've had sex 2 or 3 times, and that's still more on average than I was getting before the breakup lol

Girls like this use sex as a way of keeping you around to support their needs. Why change what she knows works now? She'll keep dangling the pvssy carrot in front of you to keep you around until she finds another dude.

Then it will hurt you a lot worse. You already got a taste of it based on your very weak reaction to a Facebook picture.

Walk away and work on yourself. Follow Gurus post. You'll be a better man for it.