Turning my life around!!!!

[Guna]

It has been an interesting couple of years for me.. Taking steps to turn it around, quite difficult though.

What happened. Moved to a new city with my wife for a new job 2 years ago. Didn't know anyone here. Suddenly started losing my sex drive and started having ED issues. Wife started getting frustrated with me and one day I accidentally saw her kissing another man in a shopping center. I called off the relationship and sent a formal mail intending to divorce. I had good intentions, since I had ED issues and she managed to find love somewhere else, I thought she will be happier. Wife is an immigrant and turns out her visa got cancelled. She went to court citing attempted rape (haha see the irony) and extreme physical assault to get an interim violence order. I didn't know wtf was happening.. Turns out, if she gets a final violence order issues, she will get immediate permanent residence and stay with her new lover.. She started showing up at places wither her new partner, around my gym, my work provoking me to breach my interim order. I didn't held my nerve. On the day of the final court hearing day, just minutes before, she withdrew the case and walked away.. I spend over half my savings on defending the case. My ED continued but I had bigger emotional, financial issues. 3 months ago, I started losing my eyesight. I was diagnosed with an advanced stage of brain tumour, on my pituitary gland, which resulted in very low testosterone. By God's grace it was successfully removed. I am ok for now, I guess.

So here I am, divorced, lost almost all my savings, in a new city with no friends.. To make things worse, I am not that good looking, Indian ethnicity, dark skinned (big thing in my culture), low caste (again, another big thing in my culture)..

Taking some steps to turn it all around.

- Started working on my fitness. Started doing a bootcamp on weekend mornings and going to gym regularly.
- In all this mayhem, I got admitted to the top business school in the country. I am deciding whether to do it part time or go back to school and do it full time. I want to start my own business

I am trying to make new male friends in the new city which is proving to be very difficult. Any ideas?

 

[LiveFreeX]

 

[Tictac]

"Today, I will do what almost no one else does so that soon I can do what almost no one else can."

 

[Von]

Go to School - Part time I would recommend (work experience is key in landing a job)

Keep the gym

Start an activity like dancing

Make time to go to stuff you love or wanna try

Indian culture has social laws we don't have..... but don't worry about your skin or caste.

If you live in the city, these things dissapear faster or are more forgotten. Beside, if you are in the top 1%, no one will judge you for sex-outside marriage, dating other caste etc.... Social norms are for the ''normal'' not the elites.

Aim to be elite....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Guna,
I lived in Chennai and Mamallapuram in Southern India for almost nine months eight years ago...This Woman cannot be an Indian Lady,they just NEVER behave like this...You imply that you are of a noble caste...Your Family just wouldn't let you marry the Woman you describe...Impossible!...So what's the story?

 

[Çharismo]

Maaaaan after reading this I HAD to jump in. The first thing I would recommend you do is get a job in sales where you are dealing with people ALL the time. Get into door to door sales (very brutal) if you are serious about stepping up your "game", developing social - skills, grace, etiquette, intelligence, dealing with constant rejection, learning how to approach people, conversation skills, being able to read people, developing higher levels of instincts and intuition, and most of all being able to think fast on your feet. Any job in sales is another form of personal development as well which most people don't realize. The reason I'm suggesting you do this is because if you are looking to start your own business being able to develop relationships and networking is going to be very important in addition, you will learn the ability to persuade & influence people as well. Always remember people do business with people that they like...Doing these types of jobs will allow you to develop a "personality" as well and see what and what doesn't work.

Going to school is fine but most of the time school doesn't teach you the skills necessary in order to survive out there especially, with what you are looking to do. I would recommend you go part-time. Again it looks good on your resume and adds a little bit of credibility but real world experience is 100X more powerful and the best teacher than you can imagine. Also start to reflect on what is that you enjoy doing. Really sit and think about your strengths & weaknesses, your creative aspirations. This is something I realized...that we are constantly being subjugated and made to conform to societal norms. We get stuck in a system whether it's the school system, religious system, work system and the list goes on...we get stuck in this Matrix and we give up on our dreams our aspirations...we become lifeless zombies and end up committing spiritual suicide. The human spirit needs to be expressed whether in the form or art, writing, painting, acting, reading etc... discover that...work on that and most of all start meditating.

Use this experience to set certain standards for yourself and strive towards them. You've gone through a tough experience by hitting rock-bottom and use this as a wake-up call to push you to newer and greater heights. After going through all this $hit you have nothing to lose because it possibly cannot get worse than this. The only thing stopping you is DEATH. Conquer your fears and live like the warrior that you are destined to become and remember I believe in you and everyone on this board loves you man!!!!!

Take massive action...go out and DO IT!!!!!!

 

[Dingo]

Damn... and I thought I had problems.... Good luck....