Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The uniqueness of High School

Melen

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Wise words, the Observations here are ones I recognise in my 'alpha' friends regularly. I see that all this is true, and I am able to think of examples of how I will use this.

I see it in my friends and I recognise it, I have done so for a while, yet it's so hard to replicate. To become the laid back, high value, decisive man from being a mouse is easy, but only for a while, because in the social situations within highschool or out with it I forget this. I learn this for a few months, but I must retain it in the forefront of my mind. That either distracts me and makes me as you said 'strategic' which destroys any flow I had with whom I was conversing, or I forget what I'm supposed to be doing, and revert to my old and beta ways, the ways that I've been learning for 16 years, and have only just been trying to change.

I know what to do, i just forget to do it, so the question is, how do I make this behaviour instinctive? I can act like that, I want to become that only I don't know how.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Melen said:
I know what to do, i just forget to do it, so the question is, how do I make this behaviour instinctive? I can act like that, I want to become that only I don't know how.
You gotta internalize it. That way, it's a part of you. You don't have to think about it; it's how you are.

You need reference points, which is also known as proof, and experience. You need proof for your beliefs. You can't just decide that you're awesome. You need proof for that you're awesome. This is why real life experience is so crucial.
 

smithersonb11

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I don't have social proof. Not a loser rep or a popular rep, half the girls in my grade wouldn't know my name. In grade 12 so I dont want to work so hard to build that social value. Plus, a few of my closest friends are Alpha type guys, so they definitely make it harder.

I just want to cold approach girls outside of school, where I wont need that social proof. I'm just not sure about openers and routines... I've read not to use negs on HS girls, but if I cant use negs how else can I build that attraction.
 

NorwegianDJ

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smithersonb11 said:
I've read not to use negs on HS girls, but if I cant use negs how else can I build that attraction.
Nothing wrong with negging. Not that I remember the last time I did it.. Maybe just playfully.

Just be yourself dude. Be social and open up. Drop your filter :)
 

Melen

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NorwegianDJ said:
You gotta internalize it.
Correct me if I'm wrong. But I must think of every reason why I am all the things in the OP and then....? I geuss to do like what Ross Jeffries says, look in a mirror every day and repeat those things. Is that internalisation?
 

smithersonb11

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NorwegianDJ said:
Nothing wrong with negging. Not that I remember the last time I did it.. Maybe just playfully.

Just be yourself dude. Be social and open up. Drop your filter :)
Drop your filter? what do you mean exactly?

My goal is to just cold approach a lot and run my game well... but without social proof.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Melen said:
Correct me if I'm wrong. But I must think of every reason why I am all the things in the OP and then....? I geuss to do like what Ross Jeffries says, look in a mirror every day and repeat those things. Is that internalisation?
That would be affirmations. I'd look at them as weak reference points. Internalization is when you've internalized these beliefs about yourself. I really gotta go for school, but I'll get back to you later today.
 

NorwegianDJ

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smithersonb11 said:
Drop your filter? what do you mean exactly?

My goal is to just cold approach a lot and run my game well... but without social proof.
This is what I mean by filter:

Notice how you see and act through a filter. *Mom is here; don't talk to that chick* *Don't talk to her, people might think Im creepy.*
You're about to say what you believe to be the answer to the question the teacher is asking, but you dare not say it; only for her to tell the class soon after.
How you label anything you see.

Mostly I am referring to what you say and how you act around people. Notice how you change from when you're alone and when you're with people.
Catch yourself keeping yourself from saying something.

Im just blabbering, but I do have a point. Try it.

What might be most important is dropping your standards for what is acceptable to talk about. This will solve your problems with caring too much or not having anything to talk about.

Cold approach in High School? Sure.. why not. Just be a cool guy. Be yourself and spread good vibes.
 

smithersonb11

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NorwegianDJ said:
This is what I mean by filter:

Notice how you see and act through a filter. *Mom is here; don't talk to that chick* *Don't talk to her, people might think Im creepy.*
You're about to say what you believe to be the answer to the question the teacher is asking, but you dare not say it; only for her to tell the class soon after.
How you label anything you see.

Mostly I am referring to what you say and how you act around people. Notice how you change from when you're alone and when you're with people.
Catch yourself keeping yourself from saying something.

Im just blabbering, but I do have a point. Try it.

What might be most important is dropping your standards for what is acceptable to talk about. This will solve your problems with caring too much or not having anything to talk about.

Cold approach in High School? Sure.. why not. Just be a cool guy. Be yourself and spread good vibes.
I meant as in cold approaching Highschool girls outside of school, ones that i probably dont have common friends with and have never seen before.

And yeah I get what you're saying, just be myself and in the moment, dont analyze what im saying and try to say the right thing, dont be so outcome dependent, just say what i want to... am i getting this right?
 

NorwegianDJ

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smithersonb11 said:
I meant as in cold approaching Highschool girls outside of school, ones that i probably dont have common friends with and have never seen before.

And yeah I get what you're saying, just be myself and in the moment, dont analyze what im saying and try to say the right thing, dont be so outcome dependent, just say what i want to... am i getting this right?
Yes you are :)
 

NorwegianDJ

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The Uniqueness of High School 2.0

I wanted to go back to this previous article that I wrote a year ago and try to further elaborate and add value to it. This is not an article describing how to manipulate what others think about you (it never works in the long run anyway). This article is simply me trying to convey my beliefs about High School, regurgitating what should be regurgitated.

If it’s red, then it simply means that its 2nd edition additions.

"The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear." -Socrates

What exactly is it that makes high school different from the real world? In this post I will assert some of the major differences in High School.

First of: in HS you will be around the same people for 4 years. It's a social environment by itself. Because of this, several things that aren't as important in the real world is quite important in HS.

HS is a cohesive “social scene” in and of itself, and guys who have the most success with women understand this scene and rise to the top of it.

Being pre-selected: Girls will watch how other people react to you, in order to figure out who the top dog is. Girls don't really want to be hit on; they want to 'select' who they want to hook up with.
Pre-selection is something you demonstrate with your actions and your personality traits, not your words. If you do have pre‐selection, it triggers MASSIVE sexual attraction. In fact, it overpowers things that cause sexual attraction in “real world game”. Being pre-selected implies that you are wanted; there is no better way to do this than by gaining reputation.

Reputation: “A reputation is an animal designed by committee: you give birth to it, but the way it develops depends on the actions of others. Your reputation lives a very real existence apart from you, representing the collective mental construct everyone but you shares about you, a construct based partially on your own actions but also on the perceptions others have about others' perceptions of your actions. We only ever have influence over our reputation—never control—as is the case with all things external to us.”
Your reputation, being how people perceive you, will not change in ‘real time’, it will lag behind your actions, and thus it requires time and patience.

You want to be known in your school. You want to be known as a cool, fun, positive guy. You will seem higher value, more intimidating, and a pre-selected alpha to almost any group. The thing about this is you want to actually POSSESS these qualities, not fake them. To build a good reputation, you have to become a person that deserves one. Take consistent action that embodies the characteristics you want others to associate with you.

A reputation is a fragile thing. It requires constant feeding. Consistency is crucial. If you live up to your reputation 99% of the time but fail to do so 1% of the time, you risk disproportionate damage if the person you let down is highly influential in your network. A good reputation shouldn't be an end in itself but rather a natural outgrowth of your striving to be the person you most want to be.

Your reputation is what people know you as. Getting a decent reputation is not very easy. Most people either have a loser reputation, or don't have one at all. A reputation is very important for your social life in high school. Chicks like to be on the edge with everything, like a good time, like gossip (if you have a good rep, you will be on the tip of everyone’s tongue), like to be seen with popular people.


To gain a good reputation, you will need:
A good attitude and personality!
• A decent relationship with the popular kids.
• Something that makes you unique.

1. A good attitude. This one is SOO important. It's the foundation of everything; it's all of these things we keep talking about on the forums. You want to bring those skills into your school. Being positive and having a positive outlook on life is key. The world is a light place. No one wants to be with a boring, negative guy, with nothing interesting to say. Say what’s on your mind. Spread your energy and happiness, people will return the favor. Have a strong reality, don't let people abuse you. And so forth, this is what you will always keep improving.

There are four personality traits you want:
*Fun – We are to enjoy life, smile, joke around and have fun. Everything is a reason to be happy or to laugh. Learn the ability to amuse yourself. I’m canning myself as I’m typing this. An amazing line that you should always think to yourself (especially with chicks) is: «How can I make this fun? », not «What should I do next? ». When you’re with girls, don’t be thinking about how you must hook up, get laid, or make your move. Of course it is important to escalate, but moreover, ask yourself this question: “How can I have the maximum fun possible right now? How can I make her smile? What can I do, right this instant that will make me FEEL ****ING INCREDIBLE?”
The key to being and having fun is to amuse yourself, not trying to amuse or impress others, seeking a reaction. Don’t be an ******* and have fun on other’s expense.


*Dominant – You can be a fun, interesting, good‐looking guy and still never hook up if you are apologetic about your masculinity. Being dominant means being assertive and confident about what you want and expect from others. Not «What should I do? », but «What do I want? »
A confident man is a dominant man. If you act dominant without confidence, you may just come off as an *******. A true and genuine sense of dominance comes when you set and stick to your priorities, when you are living your life according to your own guiding principles. In the face of opposition you not only stand strong, but you push forward with renewed drive and intensity.
A dominant man will assert himself physically and draw boundaries. He will take what he wants. A dominant man is not a jerk. A jerk takes without giving back, while a dominant man will reward.


*Leadership – Take initiative. Know when to organize an event, be a guy that comes up with cool stuff and brings people together. If you see a girl eyeing your friend across the room, then go up to him and make him aware. Walk up to the girl and make an intro, so you can introduce them later.
Taking the lead also means that you will be controlling your interactions. You won’t be waiting for her to make a move; you will lead conversations where you want them to go, you will reach out and take a woman’s hand, or lock her arm in yours when you’re walking together, without looking for her assent or approval. You’ll pick up a girl and carry her piggyback, you’ll smack her on the butt, and you’ll do all sorts of other things that indicate that you’re comfortable being physical.
When you are a leader, you are the one responsible for making your own days and nights. You don’t wait around for other people to bring the fun or to tell you where to go. You TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your own life and your own good time, and you make sure to bring as many people along with you as possible.


*Easygoing – Guys that are successful in HS are VERY easygoing. They’re having fun in their own way, but they’re never neurotic or overly concerned about anything. They have the confidence to know that things will be ok. Don’t worry what everyone thinks of you. Just slow the **** down. Talk slower, walk slower, be relaxed. Don’t resist what is, just accept it. Most negative emotions are resistance to the present moment. You can only act upon something after you’ve accepted it. Being easygoing is about being comfortable wherever you are and taking on whatever the world throws at you without overly reacting, thus reaching a higher conclusion.

Be adventurous, try out things that others won’t (Not talking about drugs and dangerous **** here, unless you want to).
«Bros before hoes» Always look out for you buddies, a lay is not as important as your friends. Elevate your friends, and they will lift you even higher.
Be the guy you want to be around.

How to achieve these traits? Simply push your comfort-zone. The more you push it; the faster the process. Character transformations happen when you stretch the limits of what kind of behavior is possible.
 

NorwegianDJ

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2. A decent relationship with the popular kids.
Unless your school is small, getting a good rep is not going to be a one man job. Get to know the popular kids, hang out with them. Make them like you and you will be pre-selected. Make other people spread your name, it doesn't always matter what you did. Just make sure that everybody knows you. Be careful with this though, as a reputation is apparently fragile (From what I’ve read, it is; however, I haven’t seen a reputation be fragile in reality).

3. Something that makes you unique.
Why should people know your name? What makes you different? Is it because you are the life of the party? Do you have an unique style? Are you good at sports? Do you connect people?
Don't be a copycat. Don’t do what other people do simply because it’s normal. Don't be afraid to go against the norms – but swimming against the current can be both hard and unnecessary.

Don't adopt the attitude that every girl you're talking to is a «cold approach», like a random girl you meet one night in a party/bar/mall in the real world. If you do this, and use lines and routines, the chicks will be weirded out. Why? Because you're acting like an outsider. You're acting like you're not a part of the social environment. Your value is lowered; you are literally coming up to her with an empty cup, asking her to fill it. No one wants to be around a value taker.

Give value
Giving value is big in any setting, not just in HS. Why? Because we as humans are drawn towards any kind of value. Value is like a magnet.
What is value? Value for a man is different for what's value for a woman.
1. Anything that helps you survive
2. Anything that helps you have more kids
3. Anything that helps those kids survive.
4. Anything that gives good emotions (As we don't always know what is going to help us).
Now, keep in mind: Value is a percieved personality trait or an action; not something you say.
Value can be many different things. A line of coke to a cokehead can seem to have value for him, when it in reality doesn't. Do you think our paper money had any value 2000 years ago?
Value is hardwired to be mostly short-term (due to living 200,000 years as cavemen + 3 million as cavemen but not fully evolved).
Women are looking for:
*Decisiveness
*Resourcefulness
*Dominance
*Fearlessness
*Strong reality
*The «good attitude» traits.

Deciciveness – Being decisive is important. How could you ever survive back in the day if you weren't decisive? Make quick decisions based on your information in the present moment.

Resourcefulness – You have the «tribe». You have a lot of friends and people know you. This is rep. This is NOT money. Money is not an attractive quality at all. It's the lover/provider theorem. You will end up as a provider.

Dominant – Being dominant means being assertive and confident about what you want and expect from others. Not «What should I do?», but «What do I want?»

Fearlessness – Don't be afraid to act in spite of fear (that’s a part of developing confidence). I remember many things seeming dangerous and scary, and some shouldn't be. People always respect the guy that does things others don't dare do. Don't get into trouble.

Strong reality – A strong reality is basically having many strong reference points for healthy beliefs about yourself and the world. Having a strong reality is important, but it takes time. It is built up as you learn more about this stuff and get more experience. Learn to think and act for yourself; don't assume that others will think for you.

HS is Social
If you’re being strategic, moment by moment in HS, you’re doing something wrong.

Being strategic means that if you are routinely stepping out of the present moment to assess and re‐position; you are not really enjoying yourself. This goes against our attitude. Of course, starting off, you must have some strategy. Sometimes you must take a step back and look over what works and what doesn't.

BE SOCIAL
You have to be socially proactive.

Don't look at meeting new people as cold approaching; look at it as giving love. Giving love is crucial. Spread good vibes, assume attraction. Assume good responses, don't look for reactions, just assume them.

In the classroom you want to get to know the people as early as possible; don't wait until the end of the semester. Simply talk to people before class starts or maybe say hello towards the end. This should be easy; just don't fart on them.
Ask the professor interesting questions, try getting them off-topic and talking about interesting stuff. Be active in discussions; don't be afraid to speak your mind. However, you don't want to be the nerd who asks about exposition on unimportant details.
Use notes. Be direct. Don't ask about what she thinks of the subject, say «Hey, what's your name?». From here, expand to talking about social stuff, who she knows, common people etc. You can soon be all love, kisses and hugs.

You simply have to be social with people. I'm talking high fives in the hallway, being a bit higher energy than everyone else, hugs, chatting to people. This also applies in recess. Don't stay with one type of people, go mingle! Try bringing groups together, which brings me to:

Being the bridge.

A bridge is a guy who easily connects with and is friends with a lot of girls, or vice versa.
The easiest way for a guy to become a bridge is to have a girlfriend with a lot of cute friends.
There are also, of course, some guys just get along well with women and naturally become bridges to the opposite sex. These can be guys who love women and love to be around them. So each clique has these bridges, who they will call or text when they’re making their plans. You become a bridge naturally by BEING the things in this article.

You don't want to be using memorized lines and routines in HS, trying to structure your conversations a specific way, thinking «What do I say to get this girl to stay with me? », because that is what you're doing. You're sucking value, you're a value taker. This isn't supposed to be logical, men are logical, women are not. You want to communicate with emotion. Chicks want to feel good. If you can provide this, you will be of massive value. Good emotions are:
1. The positive energy you share
2. The dominant masculinity you project.


Acting disinterested has never worked for me in HS. Being direct is the way to go. If you like a girl, then you go for her. Your qualities provide the value needed. An abundance mentality is something that naturally derives from being successful in HS and girls in general. An abundance mentality means that you know that you can get many chicks; you have the ability to get some whenever you like. Because of this, you will not come off as needy. There is a fine line between being needy and being persistent, and that is it.

Now all of this takes a large amount of practice to get down, it’s not the type of thing that is going to show up overnight. But as you work at it over time it WILL come. That’s all I have for now… now go out and apply it!
 

asianbboy

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Rep trumps all.. but how to fix a damaged rep? I know LearningSlowly says he has the same problem. It's just that hot girls do not want to talk to guys who aren't popular.
I think my biggest problem is that although I can be funny, it's a kind of blatant, cold funny that isn't really positive. I use sarcasm a lot.
 

LearningSlowly

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asianbboy said:
Rep trumps all.. but how to fix a damaged rep? I know LearningSlowly says he has the same problem. It's just that hot girls do not want to talk to guys who aren't popular.
I think my biggest problem is that although I can be funny, it's a kind of blatant, cold funny that isn't really positive. I use sarcasm a lot.
It's hard to both realistically acknowledge your social position, and also remain positive and motivated toward changing it.

Rapping helped me a lot recently, there are a few good guys who will bring it up often, my rapping name is the one many guys use. It's just straight. I assume you don't have a hidden talent, unless your breakdancing is awesome and hidden. If it's not one or the other, just make sure it gets to awesome. And once you're proud of it, unveil it. If it's out in the open, get to awesome anyway.

Never been to a party through my school. There's a group of football guys that I should hang out with, and don't. One of the main party houses comes from a guy in that group. I should have befriended him first chance, but I've taken too long and avoided that group too much. I'm close friends with the other solid house, and his group is a good, middling group of guys to be associated with. I go to a small school though, 100 people in my grade.

If you go to a larger school, you'll have to meet these people at parties. If you meet one high-value person, then invite her (or him if you must) to a party and tell her to bring a few people. Unless her boyfriend comes, just assume she's yours, put your arm around her and show her friends around and you'll instantly make a good impression. You'll probably have to go slowly. You can't invite the coolest kid in school to an awful party, the place you invite them represents yourself. Work up to the point where there's a good party house to go to, and cool people to hang with.

(I love parties. If you aren't awesome at parties, you need to invite some people out to do something where you can be the best you.)
 

MrNiceGuy23

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I agree with SharinganUser, high school is different from the real world because high school is probably the most shallow dating environment of all time.

Everything in the high school dating game is based off of a few things: how wealthy your parents are, what sports you play, and your looks.

Most, if not all kids, do not have jobs (let alone ones that pay well), where I grew up barely anybody did because the town is known for money so everybody had rich parents. In other towns this still holds true. Girls want the guys that have the rick parents, why? Because the rich kids have the pools, the nice homes, the big TVs, the nice cars from mommy and daddy to take them out in, etc. Girls want to have fun and what easier way to have fun in high school than being with someone who has luxuries.

What sports you play may be even more important than your parents' money. Girls in high school are SHALLOW, they want to date guys that give them status as being popular and they want to be thought of as the top tier in their class because that means something in high school...again because high school itself is SHALLOW. My rankings for sports depends on the area but I'd say in general these sports bring the most women:

1. Football
2. Baseball
3. Basketball
4. Hockey

Doesn't matter after this. Cheerleaders and the hot girls go for the big players (football baseball etc). All girls want to say they're dating the high school quarterback...he's a god among his peers in most towns (especially if the team is good). Even if the team sucks, these guys are typically in good shape from exercising and lifting weights so the girls want them. Girls who also do sports may tend to date men in that areas. Runners typically end up with other runners.

Last is looks, high school is an awkward time physically for almost everybody. People are going through growth spurts so their bodies don't always look correct. I was incredibly skinny throughout high school because I grew a lot very quickly and my body took time to catch up to this. You typically see the upperclassmen dating everybody from girls in their grade to the underclassmen because they have gotten out of their awkward stages if their lucky (I got out of mine senior year). You could have the money and the athletics, but above all if you don't look good, women won't give you the light of day because high school is SHALLOW.

My advice would be to do what makes you happy in high school, don't worry about dating girls, getting laid, or any of that, unless it is truly at the top of your list. Don't do things that you don't enjoy just to get with girls, you'll regret it later. I had some great memories in high school by hanging out with the kids that I fit in with and by doing the things I loved. If you're a nerd, enjoy being a nerd, if you're a jock, enjoy being a jock. Everything will change once you get to college, enjoy high school for what it is.
 

NorwegianDJ

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I agree with your advice. Don't be too complacent with "being who you are" though. Just because it's high school doesn't mean you get to slack on the character building.

Your assertions about HS are off the charts though - they're ridiculous!

Firstly, wealth. Come on. Girls don't sink that low. If it was some ridiculous Malibu sh1t, I might buy it, but not any average high school, there, money is irrelevant. That's just condescending towards women.

Sports goes under what I wrote about value, like you say yourself. Value and passion, nothing more.

Looks matter, be aware of this.
 

MrNiceGuy23

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I grew up in an incredibly wealthy town, so in my high school how much mommy and daddy have mattered a lot. I think I mentioned this isn't true in most towns but in the rich areas it is. I apologize if I didn't state that.

Thinking back I wouldn't have done anything differently. I might have liked to have gotten more action in high school but after gaming in college it's worlds apart and I realized how petty and stupid high school relationships can be.

Just my opinions though.
 
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