B
BlueAlpha1
Guest
I could stand to use a little encouragement people.Well I thought I was doing well and she hit me like a ton of bricks. I am feeling a sense of loss and sadness. It's been along time since I felt this way. It will pass. I have a date tonight, one tomorrow and one saturday. I still want her. It will pass.
Next Saturday is my birthday. That will be one year NC to the day. We had a falling out late last May and things tapered off shortly after. I got a final text right at midnight on that night even though we weren't getting along. Two weeks later when I attempted contact again - ghost. Nothing since.
Of course I've gone on with my life, and it's a lot less dramatic. Though birthdays were pretty special to us. The lack of closure of these BPD relationships hit you like a bad urge on certain days that you know you'll be, or should be, very much on their mind. A few months ago I created a thread on here explaining I'd be dreaming of her a lot lately. It's only gotten more frequent, not to mention more vivid and more sad. Each and every time.
Like to think when I get past my birthday, that's one full calendar year without a word. I would have cycled through every variation of a special day we once had and been out the other side, and that it could only get easier from there.