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The Natural Progression of Sex in a Relationship

Discussion in 'The Mature Man' started by forward, Feb 6, 2010.

  1. forward

    forward Don Juan

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    So my girlfriend used to always give me a BJ without my asking (I've never asked) whenever she's on the rag. Recently (past 3 periods or so) this behavior has changed. She'll still be affectionate and get all sexual with me, but no BJ (one time she even started going down, then just stopped and started making out with me, never to return down there).

    I don't like it. Part of me says I'm being a whiny baby by not liking it, that you don't NEED an orgasm every day, and that making a deal out of it would be like a little kid crying because he doesn't get a cookie every time he wants one.

    The other part of me thinks, dammit, I like orgasms, and I'd have easily had one (or 2 or 3) with a "fresh" girl.

    And then another part of me is just concerned with the clear change that has taken place. So this is what it's like when she gets comfortable... this is how she really is (or closer to how she really is, perhaps the 'transformation' hasn't even finished!). It seemed before that one of her prime directives was keeping me sexually satisfied -- but clearly there was a motive deeper than keeping her man sexually satisfied -- a motive that is eroding.

    Should I be asking for a BJ? (doesn't feel right to me). Should I be expecting one?

    I know I've posted about this relationship before with concerns, and some may quickly conclude I should end it, but you have to realize I only come here with the concerns, so that's the only side you really see. I really am like 95% happy with her and the relationship (though not sure how this BJ thing will affect that percentage). She seems to totally respect me, and I know if I even hinted at this issue she'd apologize and go nuts on my junk, but my concern is more along the lines of what things will be like if we're still together years from now.

    Does the sex always thin out as a relationship goes on? Is this just a fact of life? Do I have to accept that if I choose the relationship/marriage path? Am I even going to want as much sex in 10 years?

    I really appreciate this forum. I don't have many people I can talk to about this stuff -- it seems like everyone is caught up in the matrix. (like they learned all there is to know from watching romantic comedies or something).
     
  2. Bible_Belt

    Bible_Belt Master Don Juan

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    At the moment when you can tell she is rejecting you for the blowj0b, ask to jack off on her t!ts...and then try to get some in her hair. Getting jizz out of her hair is a lot more work than a blowj0b, and she will learn this very quickly.
     
  3. forward

    forward Don Juan

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    Haha, I like it. It had actually occurred to me to jack off on her -- it's just that I like BJs so much more. But I'll give it a try next time -- I'll get it all over her hair, haha.
     
  4. sodbuster

    sodbuster Master Don Juan

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    Well, to a degree it does slow down some,but I'd make it known that she is slacking off[when she doesn't have her period,so it seems more like a concern than begging] She shouldnt "need" to do it daily,but NONE is not acceptable. Tell her now,not after the wedding. IF she balks now,she can go away without half your stuff.
     
  5. Tazman

    Tazman Master Don Juan

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    Anxiety will make her happy to perform again. If you can find a way to make her feel that way, you're in.

    She's "comfortable" now and BJs are considered more work than pleasure for her, so she's decided that since there's no threat of you leaving and/or hooking up with other women she's free to simply stop (or maybe use it as a reward on your birthday, good behavior, etc.).

    She knows you like them so complaining about not receiving them isn't going to inspire her.
     
  6. Colossus

    Colossus Master Don Juan

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    I think Tazman hit it.

    This actually is the natural progression of relationship sex---after some time the competitive anxiety wears off and both people reach a comfort zone. She probably feels like she's done her girlfriendly job thus far and can relax a bit. Its not like blowing you is pleasurable to her; its just work. From my experience what they dont like is the feeling that you expect them...which is silly because if you have been conditioned to get a BJ whenever she's on the rag you will eventually come to expect it.

    I say introduce a little covert anxiety back into the relationship. Asking her about it definitely wont change it...she'll just want to do it less.
     
  7. Fuglydude

    Fuglydude Master Don Juan

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    Haha! This is funny! I've only had one relationship (my current one) and we've been together for 3 years... and the sex is arguably better than it was during the typical honeymoon phase of relationships when all you do is phuck... I have a pretty high sex drive and my gf says she likes this and likes being used for sex/pleasure. I've always been quite sexually dominant and she's naturally sexually submissive, so I guess we have solid sexual chemistry. I think sexual chemistry/understanding and attraction are key to maintaining good sex as a relationship matures.

    As far as the BJ thing while on the rag... I never really ask... I just TELL her that she's gonna be blowing me or whatever. In our case this works well, but we have been together for a while and we're very comfortable with each other.

    If she doesn't wanna give you a BJ or whatever, just phuck her mouth/throat.... that way you do all of the work and still get off... plus gagging a girl w/ your cack is hot.
     

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