Strategy around losing Frame

[Tedhe]

Hi Guys,

I read a great article recently which summarized the potential of losing frame as:

"So next time you are about to lose frame, think: "If I lose frame right now I go back to the beginning, and in the beginning I begged and dreamed to be where I am right now."

"Begged" maybe a bit of an overstatement - but losing frame means you go back to square 1 and have to decide on if you want to make the effort to start over or next?

Thoughts?

 

[LiveYourDream]

You've learned to ride a bike. You are an expert rider now. One day you decide to ride down one of the most challenging mountain trails you've ever seen. It really tests your skill in every moment. At some point you end up off your bike, in the dirt, and scraped up a bit. Sure it may sting a bit or even a lot, but you shake it off and you get back on your bike and you continue down the path.

Did you have to learn how to ride all over again? No. Did you learn something from the fall that makes you a better rider? Sure did. Do you feel vibrant and alive, engaging life and challenging yourself? Sure do. Are you enjoying yourself along the way? Every moment may not always look like it, but even so, sure am.

Don't avoid engaging life for fear of not doing it perfectly. We are all meant to make mistakes along the way. The challenge is how quickly do you learn from them, move on, and choose to progress. Mistakes don't define us, unless we let them.

 

[Tedhe]

You've learned to ride a bike. You are an expert rider now. One day you decide to ride down one of the most challenging mountain trails you've ever seen. It really tests your skill in every moment. At some point you are off your bike, in the dirt, and scraped up a bit. Sure it may sting a bit or even a lot, but you shake it off and you get back on and continue down the path.

Did you have to learn how to ride all over again? No. Did you learn something from the fall that makes you a better rider? Sure did. Don't avoid engaging life for fear of not doing it perfectly. We are all meant to make mistakes along the way. The challenge is how quickly do you learn from them and progress, and while doing so enjoying the ride along the way.

Beautifully said.

 

[Tedhe]

In my opinion "frame" is about adhering to a level of standards and expectations. Therefore it is not possible to "lose frame"--unless I am willing to compromise.

Begging and dreaming, in my mind, are not part of my DJ mindset.

Agreed 100%

Let me elaborate a bit more - I have a lady to which the vibe became too emotional on both sides. Neither of us liked it - we talked it over and cleared the air.

Instead of jumping back into it with the lady, I've begun to go scarce (after the reconciliation) to create space and work on other projects...

One of the things she mentioned to me is that she hates it when guys chase and obsess over her - so I will become unavailable to her for a while

Thoughts? Insights?

 

[LiveYourDream]

One of the things she mentioned to me is that she hates it when guys chase and obsess over her - so I will become unavailable to her for a while

Thoughts? Insights?

Do not contact her. When she reaches out, almost immediately set up your next date with time/date/place. Get off phone or end text and let her be happy anticipating your date. When you meet her, focus on having fun together and having sex. Repeat.

She needs room to miss you. She needs to know you have a very full life beyond her.

 

[Tedhe]

She needs room to miss you. She needs to know you have a very full life beyond her.

Agreed 100% - as I do - which makes parts of this easier.

I was talking to a hot female friend and she echoed the same thing you guys have - that you need to give her space so 1) we can come back to a place of logic/less emotion 2) let her know that she's not a priority through distance - will probably go scarce for about a month.

...Another interesting thing about this girl is its really made me realize I have ALOT more growing to be done - as in Iv got greater potential. I was really proud of myself on how I handled this girl early on - but wasn't happy on letting my emotions get the better of me.

On the surface Iv been solid at not giving her any attention - but inside It kills me that she is starting to look 100x hotter now that she ain't around, plus I know she is going to get ample attention which will nullify my value - that being said I have other plates spinning and want to take the next few weeks to up my game when we cross paths again. Gotta use this to get better!

Thoughts?

And also, I want to shout out this site! It's been a great find and is really helping me become better in life and beyond.