Screen Screen Screen

[oOh Nasty]

I'm addicted to screening.

A girl I was seeing recently asked for LTR status.

I decided to accept because it doesn't make too much of a difference to me. She's already quite submissive, loving, and likes to run to the door when I come home from work at night. I figured I'd give her a shot.

I was already ruthlessly screening her before all of this. Even in my past LTRs, it seems my whole job was to screen and her whole job was to pass all of my tests with flying colors. If at any point, there was something that didn't feel right, she would know as soon as possible.

I think one of the main differences between the more mature red pillers vs. the newer ones is that the mature ones aren't afraid to screen early and harshly. I even screen my plates out of habit, and it kind of works to my favor because I am the almighty judger of how things will work out depending on her behavior. Even if they seem uncomfortable about it, once you've figured out how to do it properly, I'm sure they secretly like it.

I always let the girl know that the ball is in her court. It's very simple. She can either choose to keep in touch with her exes and lose me, or she can completely remove them from contact and we can continue to see each other. If you can convey this firmly without any hesitating ticks in language, and with congruity, you'll feel better in the end even if the result is not what you desired.

If she chooses against you, you can have the peace of mind that she's most likely losing sleep about it. And if she does choose against you, you must act very matter-of-factly and gracefully wish her the best. Then, she will definitely lose sleep, and with a high chance try to contact you a few days later - which by then, if you'd like to play further, you'll know that she has gained even more respect for you.

If all else fails (unless she was a complete b*tch to begin with), then you can have the peace of mind that you left with your standards, dignity, and her wondering what could have been for the rest of her life.

Screen early on and don't be afraid to lose your "connection" with any girl. Big risk means big rewards, especially when it comes to stating your standards. And if she doesn't like it, at least you're not the beta who's being strung along. You can filter out which girls would be willing to change for you within the first few dates. "I'm sure your dad would be very happy to see you dressed this way." with a smirk of course. Depending on her response, you can decide if she's plate-status worthy or not.

At this moment, I plan to try to screen her out of all of her male orbiters. There's a bit of a language barrier, but that's not going to stop me from letting her know my intentions.

I've already implanted the idea that her being around other males will make me look bad. She's already given the usual responses: childhood friends, only in large groups, no 1on1s, no drinking, she'll be careful, etc. But I plan to take it even further. Eventually, there will come a point where I'll have to give her the ultimatum. And you know how it goes. If she doesn't accept, yes she will have to leave. Yes, I will be disappointed, but it will only be a temporary setback. And Yes, I will wish her wonderful fulfilling friendships with all of her male orbiters at the cost of losing the guidance and attention of the one Alpha who she'll remember forever.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I've already implanted the idea that her being around other males will make me look bad.

Your whole post read so strong and then I read the line above and cringed. I am not sure if you really believe this or were just saying it as leverage to your GF. To me, it conveys weakness and insecurity.

It suggests that you care what other people think, and that you believe they can determine your value/status. It also suggests, that you believe your GF has the power to affect your value/status. This conveys you are somewhat at the mercy of her choices then. I suspect this is likely not what you meant to convey, but under the surface it is.

Your sense of yourself and your value is best served when it is internally referenced and not subject to the approval or whims of others. Your GF needs to know that who you are and your value/status is independent of her.

I'd suggest a reframe. I'd suggest you state that you have standards for a woman to qualify as LTR potential/GF. Those standards include certain behaviors. Lay them out. Either she rises to the occasion up front and is considered or she doesn't make the cut.

In this perspective, if she were ever to act improperly with other males, you both know and are clear that her poor behavior then is only a reflection of her poor character and will never be tolerated.

Edit: I am not suggesting the OP change his standards. I am suggesting he change how he conveys them to his GF so that he conveys his standards from strength and certainty versus languaging that suggest weakness and that he "needs" her compliance. He doesn't need anything from her. He's his own man. She can have the benefit of being with him if he allows. He is in control, not her.

 

[phillies]

I'm addicted to screening.

A girl I was seeing recently asked for LTR status.

I decided to accept because it doesn't make too much of a difference to me. She's already quite submissive, loving, and likes to run to the door when I come home from work at night. I figured I'd give her a shot.

I was already ruthlessly screening her before all of this. Even in my past LTRs, it seems my whole job was to screen and her whole job was to pass all of my tests with flying colors. If at any point, there was something that didn't feel right, she would know as soon as possible.

I think one of the main differences between the more mature red pillers vs. the newer ones is that the mature ones aren't afraid to screen early and harshly. I even screen my plates out of habit, and it kind of works to my favor because I am the almighty judger of how things will work out depending on her behavior. Even if they seem uncomfortable about it, once you've figured out how to do it properly, I'm sure they secretly like it.

I always let the girl know that the ball is in her court. It's very simple. She can either choose to keep in touch with her exes and lose me, or she can completely remove them from contact and we can continue to see each other. If you can convey this firmly without any hesitating ticks in language, and with congruity, you'll feel better in the end even if the result is not what you desired.

If she chooses against you, you can have the peace of mind that she's most likely losing sleep about it. And if she does choose against you, you must act very matter-of-factly and gracefully wish her the best. Then, she will definitely lose sleep, and with a high chance try to contact you a few days later - which by then, if you'd like to play further, you'll know that she has gained even more respect for you.

If all else fails (unless she was a complete b*tch to begin with), then you can have the peace of mind that you left with your standards, dignity, and her wondering what could have been for the rest of her life.

Screen early on and don't be afraid to lose your "connection" with any girl. Big risk means big rewards, especially when it comes to stating your standards. And if she doesn't like it, at least you're not the beta who's being strung along. You can filter out which girls would be willing to change for you within the first few dates. "I'm sure your dad would be very happy to see you dressed this way." with a smirk of course. Depending on her response, you can decide if she's plate-status worthy or not.

At this moment, I plan to try to screen her out of all of her male orbiters. There's a bit of a language barrier, but that's not going to stop me from letting her know my intentions.

I've already implanted the idea that her being around other males will make me look bad. She's already given the usual responses: childhood friends, only in large groups, no 1on1s, no drinking, she'll be careful, etc. But I plan to take it even further. Eventually, there will come a point where I'll have to give her the ultimatum. And you know how it goes. If she doesn't accept, yes she will have to leave. Yes, I will be disappointed, but it will only be a temporary setback. And Yes, I will wish her wonderful fulfilling friendships with all of her male orbiters at the cost of losing the guidance and attention of the one Alpha who she'll remember forever.

What if she just lies to you?

 

[phillies]

Your whole post read so strong and then I read the line above and cringed. I am not sure if you really believe this or were just saying it as leverage to your GF. To me, it conveys weakness and insecurity.

First, it suggests that you care what other people think and that you believe what they think of you, in some way, determines your value/status. Second, it suggests, that you believe you are at bit at the mercy of your GF. She can choose to behave or not and therefore (in your eyes) she has some control over how you are perceived/valued by others. I am sure that is not what you meant, but under the surface that is what you said conveys.

Your sense of yourself and your value is best served when it is internally referenced and not subject to the approval or whims of others.

I'd suggest a reframe. I'd simply say that you have standards for a woman to qualify as LTR potential/GF. Those standards include certain behaviors. Lay them out. Either she rises to the occasion and is considered or she doesn't make the cut.

In this perspective, if she were ever to act improperly with other males, you both know it is only a reflection of her poor character, to others.

If a woman has male friends that are attracted to her and want to ****/ date her that's completely unacceptable. Also if that's the case that's not friendship. That's her keeping orbiters and back ups around, which is extremely disrespectful and women who do this deserve to be treated the same way.

Seeing how most men are afc, she won't have a lot of male friends (truly platonic with no attraction).

Women who feel the need to and keep male orbiters around don't deserve respect.

Furthermore it's not always a great idea to be direct about certain things when communicating a woman, sometimes of course, but other times you don't confront her about it you withdraw attention and affection which will result in her hamster spinning and her trying to figure out what she's doing wrong/ her trying to please you.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Your whole post read so strong and then I read the line above and cringed. I am not sure if you really believe this or were just saying it as leverage to your GF. To me, it conveys weakness and insecurity.

It's a cultural thing. In the Asian culture, how a woman acts greatly reflects upon her man, so I was just enforcing that idea. This is generally accepted in traditional households (in which this woman is actually pretty traditional, so she took it to heart).

Also, I think it all depends on how it was delivered, as you've mentioned later in the post.

But I can understand what you mean. If I saw myself saying this to an American girl, it would be completely different.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Women who feel the need to and keep male orbiters around don't deserve respect.

99% true. Which is why it's important to screen her on this issue as early as possible.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If a woman has male friends that are attracted to her and want to ****/ date her that's completely unacceptable. Also if that's the case that's not friendship. That's her keeping orbiters and back ups around, which is extremely disrespectful and women who do this deserve to be treated the same way.

Seeing how most men are afc, she won't have a lot of male friends (truly platonic with no attraction).

Women who feel the need to and keep male orbiters around don't deserve respect.

I wasn't suggesting he change his standards at all. I was suggesting he declare his SAME standards from strength rather than weakness. I just went an added an edit above to avoid any other confusion for other readers.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Edit: I am not suggesting the OP change his standards. I am suggesting he change how he conveys them to his GF so that he conveys his standards from strength and certainty versus languaging that suggest weakness and that he "needs" her compliance. He doesn't need anything from her. He's his own man. She can have the benefit of being with him if he allows. He is in control, not her.

Sincerely noted. Although, with that hick up, my gut tells me that I didn't really do a significant amount of damage that would make a difference. I agree that the woman should benefit if I allow her to.

 

[oOh Nasty]

What if she just lies to you?

Lies about her orbiters? Your gut will usually give you clues as to whether she's lying or not. Catching a liar is talked about a little bit in these forums. They deserve their own threads.

 

[phillies]

I wasn't suggesting he change his standards at all. I was suggesting he declare his SAME standards from strength rather than weakness. I just went an added an edit above to avoid any other confusion for other readers.

How do you figure he was doing it from a week frame?

 

[oOh Nasty]

How do you figure he was doing it from a week frame?

She played it differently in her head than how it actually was. But for the most part, she's right. I wouldn't say something like this to a non-traditional kind of girl.

I wouldn't want this topic to become a semantic debate... like some other threads ... so I'll just say:

Imagine telling the weakest person on your basketball team: "You'd better step it up because you're making the team look bad." He steps it up, or he's out.

 

[phillies]

Lies about her orbiters? Your gut will usually give you clues as to whether she's lying or not. Catching a liar is talked about a little bit in these forums. They deserve their own threads.

Or about staying in contact With exes.

What country you from?

 

[oOh Nasty]

Or about staying in contact With exes.

What country you from?

Staying in contact with exes is complete dismissal even at the slightest misbehavior. Exes are completely red flag nonos no matter what anyone says. If she respects you, she'll let you check her **** and her social medias to make sure. But the truth will eventually come out if she is lying.

I'm an Asian American of Filipino and Hong Kong descent.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Sincerely noted. Although, with that hick up, my gut tells me that I didn't really do a significant amount of damage that would make a difference. I agree that the woman should benefit if I allow her to.

I don't perceive it as damage. That's not my view. I perceive it as an opportunity to reframe moving forward. It may seem slight but the difference in a man speaking from 100% in his strength as a man vs a man requesting/asking for compliance is worlds apart to a woman. It's as much for you as it is her. It's simply an opportunity now, to embrace that strength and certainty, as you move forward with her. Doing so will increase her respect, attraction and sexual desire for you exponentially. Enjoy...

I see you you just added on about the cultural differences in a post above. It seems all is already handled and well.

 

[phillies]

Staying in contact with exes is complete dismissal even at the slightest misbehavior. Exes are completely red flag nonos no matter what anyone says. If she respects you, she'll let you check her **** and her social medias to make sure. But the truth will eventually come out if she is lying.

I'm an Asian American of Filipino and Hong Kong descent.

Yeah I've dated a couple of Asian girls raised in Taiwan and China. They're much easier to be direct with and have a relationship with.

Of course not all of them are like that, but the younger ones with a low partner count are pretty decent.

 

[phillies]

I don't perceive it as damage. That's not my view. I perceive it as an opportunity to reframe moving forward. It may seem slight but the difference in a man speaking from 100% in his strength as a man vs a man requesting compliance is worlds apart to a woman. It's as much for you as it is her. It's simply an opportunity now, to embrace that strength and certainty, as you move forward with her. Doing so will increase her respect, attraction and sexual desire for you exponentially. Enjoy...

I see you you just added on about the cultural differences in a post above. It seems all is already handled and well.

This isn't a western woman though. How her parents raise her is a big factor in how her character develops. The culture has a big influence in how her parents raise her.

 

[ubercat]

Interesting. I've had ltrs with a few Asian girls. Normally they communicate very indirectly and I do the same. I've always thought of directly laying down your boundaries as being a bit anti challenge they should have to work them out. Thoughts guys?

 

[Desdinova]

Your whole post read so strong and then I read the line above and cringed. I am not sure if you really believe this or were just saying it as leverage to your GF. To me, it conveys weakness and insecurity.

I don't see this as weakness or insecurity. I've had GFs who acted flirty with other men in my presence. It's embarrassing and makes me ashamed to parade this woman around as my companion. It makes me look as if I've done a poor job in choosing a respectful and valuable woman.

It's not just how she makes you appear, it's also how she makes you feel. If you look and feel disrespected, then she's not worth keeping.

 

[oOh Nasty]

Interesting. I've had ltrs with a few Asian girls. Normally they communicate very indirectly and I do the same. I've always thought of directly laying down your boundaries as being a bit anti challenge they should have to work them out. Thoughts guys?

Hard to tell what's needed in each individual situation. Asian girls are Asian, but they're still girls nonetheless. I feel they need dynamic leadership, consisting of both nonchalant indirectness and firm directness.

What do you mean by they communicate very indirectly? Example?

 

[ubercat]

Well keeping it on topic let's say in the case of orbiters. I d probably casually mention a story about some movie starlet who lost her b/f over that issue. Easy enough to make a throw away line over the Sunday papers.