Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

New philosophy on female friends

Peak

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You went shopping with her!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrr.

Okay BBJ ...time to take stock dude.
After tonights performance you are certainly in the friend zone. You should have ****ed this chick while you had the chance. Do not put the hard word on her now cause she no longer wants to **** you.

Avoid that chick at all costs and make a date with someone else.

FORGET HER!

Next time you have any slight feelings for a girl:

1) Stop and think...what the hell am I doing?

2) Go and re-read the Tips section of this site.

3) Go and kick a brickwall with barefeet so that you have drawn blood are in pain and are angry.

4) Then just drive over to her place and put the hard moves on her a) If she rejects you tell her to go jump and leave b) If you score her get her to take care of your ****ing injured foot!


[This message has been edited by Peak (edited 11-28-2000).]
 

Marauder

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:


Like I said, she is a remnant from the days when I would walk over broken glass to win a woman's affection. That's why this is f*cking with me so bad. If I met her last week she never would have seen the push over in me. Maybe I need to cut ties with people that remind me of how I was in the past.

I almost just feel like completely avoiding her till she's gone. Now that's a real manly thing to do huh?

There's no way I can win this one. All I can hope to do is walk away with as much dignity as possible.
on this matter.
You have said it yourself...she is a remnant of your past so very well just keep it that way! I had been through this **** too and I know that no matter how much evolution we have undergone, we are still cavemen in their eyes...Once loser, always loser....That is a fact and nothing can change that perception. Walk away with your dignity intact...don't give her any chance to hurt you again...You are a DJ now...you don't have to go through the pain again!

------------------
Marauder

What that don't kill me only
makes me stronger...
 

SAV40

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Hate to disagree with those more experienced then myself, but I say one more shot. If you don't make the move, this will eat at you for a long time. Why? Because like myself you are not a true Don yet. You have feelings for this girl, and you do NOT view her as a friend. But she's leaving! Now think about this: You do nothing, you lose! Because you failed to act! You will regret it for a long time! You act, and you either score big, or you get a 'friends' speech. At least if you act, regardless of the outcome, you will never have to suffer with the not knowing. That's called RELIEF, my man! You will be alone at least one more time with this beautiful woman. It might be your last chance! When your eyes meet, hold the gaze. Still looking her squarely in the eyes, brush her hair back gently and say "There's something I've been meaning to do". And then kiss her, deeply and confidently, letting her know that this feels completely natural to you. Her response will tell you all you need to know about how to proceed from there. DO IT!

[This message has been edited by SAV40 (edited 11-28-2000).]
 

BigBadJon

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Soldier, thanks for the smack. I really needed it a few years ago when I met the girl though!

Originally posted by Peak:
You went shopping with her!!!!!!!!
It's not as bad as it seems. I told her I needed to update my wardrobe and she wanted to assist. It was all for me.


Okay BBJ ...time to take stock dude.
After tonights performance you are certainly in the friend zone. You should have ****ed this chick while you had the chance. Do not put the hard word on her now cause she no longer wants to **** you.
I think you guys are misunderstanding me. I have always been in the friend zone with her. Since 4 years ago. We became reacquianted recently and went out a few times, I'm sure I had soem sort of feelings all along but I really didn't care one way or the other about hooking up with her until like two days ago.

Avoid that chick at all costs and make a date with someone else.
If she weren't moving away in like a week and a half I could maybe get away with just avoiding her for awhile and maybe she wouldn't bother calling me either. Problem is, she promised to visit me at work before she leaves. I would feel like a total d1ck if I ignored her now. She really didn't do anything to deserve that.

You have said it yourself...she is a remnant of your past so very well just keep it that way! I had been through this **** too and I know that no matter how much evolution we have undergone, we are still cavemen in their eyes...Once loser, always loser....That is a fact and nothing can change that perception. Walk away with your dignity intact...don't give her any chance to hurt you again...You are a DJ now...you don't have to go through the pain again!
I know, I know, I know! She has perceived me as a loser all along, and that's what makes this matter really suck! Problem is I can't just walk away. If I manage to evade her till she leaves, here's what will happen. She will call and catch me off guard at work and I will have no good excuse why I avoided her.

Hate to disagree with those more experienced then myself, but I say one more shot. If you don't make the move, this will eat at you for a long time. Why? Because like myself you are not a true Don yet. You have feelings for this girl, and you do NOT view her as a friend. But she's leaving! Now think about this: You do nothing, you lose! Because you failed to act! You will regret it for a long time! You act, and you either score big, or you get a 'friends' speech. At least if you act, regardless of the outcome, you will never have to suffer with the not knowing. That's called RELIEF, my man! You will be alone at least one more time with this beautiful woman. It might be your last chance! When your eyes meet, hold the gaze. Still looking her squarely in the eyes, brush her hair back gently and say "There's something I've been meaning to do". And then kiss her, deeply and confidently, letting her know that this feels completely natural to you. Her response will tell you all you need to know about how to proceed from there. DO IT!
Wise words my friend. It is always better to regret what you did than to regret what youdidn't do!

But that's really not the issue. There's a 90% chance I could get the goods from her. She has expressed to me in the past that she wishes she could have a casual sex partner with no strings attached. Seemed like an invite to me.

Looks as if I have three choices.

#1. Blow her off and hope the problem just goes away on its own.
#2. Continue as normal, see her a couple more times before she goes, and kick myself in the ass for ever playing the fool in the first place.
#3. Take your advice, most likely have a night of passion, and let her be on her way.

Can anyone add options #4, 5, 6?
 

Maverick

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Hmmmmm....

1?... 2?... or 3?...

Not a tough decision... #3 is the logical choice...

1. You get what you wanted years previously... (you probably don't really see
her in that wanting way because she's no longer the challenge you faced and you've outgrown her to a degreee, but it comes full circle... she wants you and you still like her so meet her half way)

2. She gets what she wants... you...
(Nice going away present)

3. She's not looking for anything permenant and leaving soon... (so no strings no phone the next day, etc, etc...)

4. You get a nice work out and some closure
before she leaves

5. You may have a little guilt (because of you want to have more of a permenant relationship -- but guilt is for the people who actually did something wrong), but that'll pass the next day when you go back to scocping for women and that possible longer relationship...

I think you'll be happy in the end...

That's my two pence

Good Luck 'mate


Peace


p.s. Tanx Ralfus
 

BigBadJon

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Poet.... and all of the more experienced of the bunch.....whats my move?
 

Joshua_Black

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BBJon, who cares if you avoid her until she leaves? Who gives a fukk if she calls and you don't have an exscuse? You don't need one, other than you didn't want to see her. You don't owe her anything. Explanations are provided to worthy friends and to the police. You're not the one who's fukking up here, she's the one who's acting like your friend and then wants to fukk you with no strings attached. She knows how you feel. Put that together, and she's trying to use you mate.

--Tell her you have no time for her anymore.

--Black
 

Poet

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:
Poet.... and all of the more experienced of the bunch.....whats my move?
Option 3...tell her you're not the guy she knew before. Tell her you want her. You want to make love to her all night long, take her in your arms & twist her mind like a preztel & treat her bod like the strumpet she is, then say "adios"! (if she digs it she will be back hombre!)

If you say it's 90% a sure thing then call her asap, lock down a time & place & get into her eyes & her thoughts & lay it on her thick as a brick. Shock her little world. If she disses ya, you gave it the good fight & you are now a different man it won't eat at you cause you took it to her & made her put up or shut up..end of story..Regardless..the new ways rule the day, NOT the old ways! Let her think what she wants..you are the man. Poet



------------------
Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.
 

BigBadJon

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Thanks for the input everyone. Still undecided exactly how I want to handle this, but I'm thinking I will have to throw down hard and see what happens just for my own piece of mind.

I suppose I should have mentioned one more point. After she helped me shop last night, I asked if she wanted to get something to eat. At dinner I felt she went a little overboard on the ordering (couple of margaritas, appetizer, she wanted dessert but didn't end up getting one). Now I know she has very little money, so when I ask her to do things I pay most of the time. At the end of the meal I pick up the check and she says "I brought some money, if need be".

I felt awkward because I know she is in a tight situation. But I felt like she was using me. I didn't let her pay, probably should have.

It's almost as if she wants dinner and sex...that's it. Wouldn't be a problem if I realized this months ago (I guess I'm clueless) when I could have capitalized on the situation.

Bottom line is she is a user just like most of the rest of them. I gotta start hanging out with older girls (25+). Maybe I'll have better luck.
 

Poet

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FOOD!!!! She wants sex so she is eating to satisfy an "inner hunger"! It's a frustration substitute! Women always eat more when they are frustrated or not gettin what they WANT! I am 90% sure just like you, trust me man! Get her....fukk the 10% probability you will get shot down, if you don't go after it your % is 0!!! 90 is way better than 0, that's good odds....Poet

------------------
Action is all....words don't mean ****.

Trust your instincts & nothing else.
 

Marauder

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Originally posted by BigBadJon:
Soldier, thanks for the smack. I really needed it a few years ago when I met the girl though!

Wise words my friend. It is always better to regret what you did than to regret what youdidn't do!

But that's really not the issue. There's a 90% chance I could get the goods from her. She has expressed to me in the past that she wishes she could have a casual sex partner with no strings attached. Seemed like an invite to me.

Looks as if I have three choices.

#1. Blow her off and hope the problem just goes away on its own.
#2. Continue as normal, see her a couple more times before she goes, and kick myself in the ass for ever playing the fool in the first place.
#3. Take your advice, most likely have a night of passion, and let her be on her way.

Can anyone add options #4, 5, 6?
BBJ, you need to be emotionally detached to go for #3....But I bet my last dollar that you cannot do it....You want something more than just the *****....which was why you held back when you had the chance...coz deep down inside you know she will hurt you again....and play loser a second time! That is something for which you will hate yourself the rest of your living years!

------------------
Marauder

What that don't kill me only
makes me stronger...
 

jester1x

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Man, just **** her and forget her!
She had her chance and blew it! Use the user back for once. It's sounds like she has only matured in the chronological sense. BBJ, you know, as well as I do that age has nothing to do with maturity. Older women have been playing their game longer and are much better at it due to practice. Their game is "tight" when it comes to men. Also, they are even more messed up than the younger women
because they have had a lot more bad experiences. It appears that you do care for her, but have respect for yourself because you obviously aren't going to get it from her. Treat her back to they way she treats you. Some women only respond to inconsiderate treatment. You have changed for the better, but apparently she hasn't.
If you don't screw her, then tell her this fact about change and walk!
Just do what feels right to you and what you can live with.

------------------
Fooled(Jester) one(1) time(x) too many!
 

Surfboard

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BBJ,

I'm really not sure what the main issue is here.

1) Is this a feelings issue? This is what it sounds like to me. If so, re-read Sav40's first reply.

2) Or do you just want to do her? If this is the case, then there should'nt be anything to think about. Just do it.

I read your replies to other DJ's and you give good advice. You know what your options are and I'm sure you'll make the right decision that's best for you.
 

SAV40

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Sorry BBJ, but I see you posting in every thread tonight, and I think your hands should be on something else besides your computer. The c(l)ock is ticking!
 

BigBadJon

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Thanks for all the replies. She goes to school and works, so is usually pretty busy.

I will probably tell her that I have a surprise for her (appeal to her curiousity), and just tease her by not letting her know whats up till the end of the night (building the mystery). If she asks what the surprise was, I will go for the passionate kiss right there. If not, I will pretend to be getting ready to leave and say, "Oh yea, I almost forgot about the surprise" and do it then. I should let her see me carrying around some kind of odd package to throw her off even more...hehe!

I got about 9 days left....gotta do SOMETHING.
 
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