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Marriage after 6 months too soon?????

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by TxCowboy, Jan 8, 2005.

  1. TxCowboy

    TxCowboy Senior Don Juan

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    I got another story I wanted yall DJ's to check. Ive got a buddy who is engaged to be married to , what I would call , a self-indulged , possessive woman. We've been buddies for a long time now and watch after each other. This past summer , my friend hooked up with a worthless and possessive girl from his past , who has got him by the "cahones" and he wont wake up and realize , she's got him !

    This girl is very spiritual, reserved, and very strange. It turns out, she was molested by her father, date raped at 15, and has a history of controlling men to get them to want to marry them. She teases her prey, promising them sex as soon as they marry her.

    My friend just proposed last month and bought her a wedding ring and all. He thought he could compare his pathetic 6 month relationship with his parents relationship, and I told him that there is QUITE a difference !

    Ive watched this mess go on for 6 solid months and cant take it any more ! The other day my friend was over at my house chillin all day and in the interum of ONE day , she called his phone so many times , I lost count after 20 - NO JOKE. I asked him whats up with that ?!?! And he tells me some mess along the lines that it was just a game between the two. I was thinking to myself , WTF ?

    Just today he wanted to change his cell phone plan to accomodate this girl and tells me they arent even suppose to get married for 2 years. This girl is not some attractive site to see , believe me. I cant figure for the life of me , why he would be doing this except this girl just owns him. It would be great if there is something that could be said to him or her but I dont wanna pis both of em off. Any suggestions DJ's?
     
  2. lao tzu

    lao tzu Don Juan

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    I didn't read your novella, but i say yes 6 months is too soon. But if you got something going on like sailor and lulu. Then wtf don't let love pass you by.
     
  3. AverageFC

    AverageFC Master Don Juan

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    I MIGHT let a chick move in with me after a year. MIGHT. Marriage proposal minimum 6 months after that.

    That's how I'd like it to be anyway.
     
  4. Wyldfire

    Wyldfire Banned

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    Your friend is an idiot to get married after only 6 months. This woman sounds like a real piece of work. Here's what's got him by the balls...

    He's trying to play the wonderful "white knight" who rescues the poor abused maiden so he can be a hero. Hell, he probably doesn't even love this girl but has instead fallen in love with the idea of being the man who saves her. So many men do this. He's hooked on what this girl represents to him...not on her. Eventually he'll learn from this mistake, probably after she puts him in the poor house after getting everything he owns in their divorce within a couple years of them getting married.

    Based on the woman's history she is either always in the wrong place all the time to get abused or she is what I like to call a "career victim". If this is what she is she will eventually be telling anyone who will listen about all the ways your friend "abused" her, too.

    Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to prevent him from being a total dumba$$ and marrying this girl, but don't worry...it won't last long...and he WILL learn, but not until he's broke, alone and has his spirit completely crushed along with his reputation.
     
  5. DeathDealer

    DeathDealer Master Don Juan

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    3-6 months is enough time to see the flaws and dealing with it but getting married during that time is TOO early. I'd say wait at least 18-24 months. Marriage in USA no one takes seriously. They just see it as a temporary badge to get cheaper benefits, etc.
     
  6. dietzcoi

    dietzcoi Master Don Juan

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    As Wildfyre said, he wants to play Captain Save-a-Ho, but he will learn the hard way.

    Tough to have to watch this, huh?

    Dietzcoi
     
  7. karusel

    karusel Don Juan

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    First go kill her parents and then ask her if she would still love you if she knew you killed them, and then you tell her you killed them and don't forget to look in her eyes because this way you'll see if she's telling the truth or if she's lying.

    Seriously, I vote for: WAIT. 6 months is about where the LTR begins, IMO.
     
  8. Alpine

    Alpine Master Don Juan

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    I have known two people who have done this, both chumps and both divorced within a year. One lost his house.

    Unconsciously they feel it's allready coming apart and marriage will glue it together.

    If everythings so wonderful what's the hurry?

    I'll never get married, but I sure hope I meet someone I can spend the rest of my days with, two completely different things.
     
  9. TxCowboy

    TxCowboy Senior Don Juan

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    WTF ?

    Get some help there sickass .... We dont live like savages and hodgies here in America !
     
  10. MetalFortress

    MetalFortress Master Don Juan

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    Re: WTF ?

    I would have answered your question up there, but you missed the obvious joke by that other guy, so I won't :)
     
  11. squirrels

    squirrels Master Don Juan

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    With a girl like that, 6 YEARS is too soon.

    Be straight with him...tell him that you think that if he marries this girl she will use him, abuse him, f**k him over, then leave him for the next sucker and that you think he should dump her for his own good. And then never mention it again until he comes crying to you about how much his life with her sucks.

    You can offer to help someone, but you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.
     
  12. MRomeo99

    MRomeo99 Don Juan

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    What's the point? "Love" is the greatest intoxicant on the planet. You're not going to "save" your friend, he's going to have to learn for himself.

    Who here has a success story of "saving" one of their friends when they were in love? I sure don't. And I've seen some doozies of relationships. Now, it can be done, but you're not going to get it by calling her a psycho hose beast. Hell, I've been in sh1tty relationships myself, that I never realized how bad they were until I was out. Truth is dude, you might "look out for each other", however there's not much you're going to be able to do to get him out of this relationship if he is truly in love.

    Just my take. I'm open to being wrong.

    --Romeo
     

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