Discussion in 'High School Forum' started by Mindgamez, Oct 7, 2011.
Mind, your journal is so inspiring.
Thanks a lot Bossman! I'm glad this journal isn't only for myself but can actually inspire people.
Wednesday, March 14th
This week is good, but not so good. I feel like I'm not making enough effort but things happen to me still. I had big anxiety waves going back and forth for, I'm not sure why. Sometimes, I just care so much about what people think... and sometimes I don't.
Remember Frizzy HB7? The one that told me to get more mature? Well, we actually sat next to each other in French class (because the teacher said so), and we talked a little, the friendly chat with teasing sometimes. As she arrived, she told : Ohhh that's it my life is ruined! I'm gonna die with you (subtle smile). I know that's her style and she loves saying things like that.
The next day, she seems a little more excited and happy. I was eating lunch, and then she came with some friends to my table during lunch time. She hit me playfully with her lunch bag on the back. She wanted my attention and she was smiling. She started talking about porn with her friends, and then she turned he head in my direction. We started smiling and I asked her if she watched this stuff. She laughed her ass off and told me : In your dreams! I don't watch this. We do more eye contact these days. She's cute, but... meh. I don't know. I like her playful side, but I hate her impatient personality.
Monday, I saw HB Laos at her locker. She looked hesitant. She looked at me, then into her locker again, and then she looked at me again to say hello with a smile that seemed so natural. I smiled back without effort and we chatted. She was with a bunch of guy friends so I don't know if I wanted to flirt at this point. I ended up hesitating and we had normal chat. Nothing special. She told me that she'll go to the store with her friends, so we headed our ways.
Next day, I see her by herself. She was looking at me. I looked at her and said hi. She copied my smile and I didn't do anything again. Why the HELL! Ihad no excuse, she was by herself and there was no guys to stop me. Then, some friend started talking to me about something. She passed right by me and then she waved at me with her fingers. I wasn't paying attention because I was busy talking to that buddy. What should I do in that circumstance? Stop doing my things and respond to her? Or simply keep talking? I just kind of ignored her. I chickened out, gotta agree.
Talked to HB big boobs during Ethics class. She told me that she heard from her friends that I was fantastic. Is that a good thing? I mean, this means that people talk about me. She asked me how I knew that girl that is her friend too. Blabla.
Blonde HB enjoys poking me at times. She's so friendly. Too bad she refused to date me in January.
Talked to that girl I didn't really talk to before. We had similar interests. She loves writing stories and scripts, and she likes doing movies and acting. Awesome! She's not so pretty and has a boyfriend, but she's a nice person. We had a conversation for a good couple of minutes. She might play in my next short movie. That would be epic because she can cry on command. I realized that people can be interested and friendly with people without necessarly smiling. Some people are naturally more poker faced and serious but they are still pretty nice in the inside.
Today, I had breakdance class. Damn, it's been a looong time! I might go to a jam this Saturday where many guys will be breakdancing and doing battles. There will be pros of course, but I'll try to compete with the intermediate ones. I'll try socializing with guys a little. I should stop worrying that I might be not cool enough for these guys and just express myself. Hope I'll have the time to go! I got big projects to do, a music video for art class. Yeah let's do this.
Anyway. This week I learned that caring less about the outcome and doing less overreacting is pretty good. Thanks a lot for The Blueprint Decoded. I watched 5 hours. Man, this is not the regular PUA stuff. It's much more than that and it goes to the core of everything. It's a different perspective and I love that.
Friday, March 23rd
I handled **** tests from that girl Frizzy HB7 amazingly well. She was sitting at her table one day, and I told her Hello how are you. She responded : Not good. Now, go away now! (with a completely serious face). I then laughed and told her that her behavior is not very pretty. I was so unaffected by it. What a great feeling. Her face stayed serious. I could tell she was playing games. Then later during the day, we had to work together during class. She laughed and smiled as I told her to come next to me. We talked about Megaporn and things like that. Pretty cool. I love teasing her, it's so fun. I used to think that she's out of my league since she's a confident girl and can easily do public speaking. I wasn't like that and I actually feared public speaking a lot sometimes. But this week, she was pretty responsive.
I chatted with HB Laos that day. Another great thing! She was walking by herself in the stairs going down, and I walked by her. She looked at me and she smiled and laughed as she saw me with my natural flirty smile. I didn't say a word and waited for her to talk first. She was shy during the whole interaction, not looking into my eyes often. She would react a lot too.
Her : Oh! Heey XD You're following me!
Me : *waited a while* We never taught you to say Hello?
Her : XD Well Hello!
Me : Hi, how's it going?
Me : *pet her hair* Ohh, I know you love it when I touch your hair!
Her : Ahaha, no I don't like it!
Me : No you love it when I touch it. Every day, every time, when we see each other
Her : Awwwn
Me : Haha
Her : You have a pretty haircut.
Me : You trying to seduce me?
Her : Sorry?
Me : You're trying to seduce me?
Her : *frown eyebrows* No...
Me : You told me I had pretty hair
Her : Nono! I told you that you have a new haircut! xD (In French, pretty and new are similar : nouvelle, belle)
Me : Ohh! I was sure that you were seducing me. XD
Her : Hahaha
Me : Actually, it's alright if you want to seduce me. Just try to be more subtle next time so it might work
Her : Haha! Actually, what if I was really seducing you? (She couldn't resist smiling)
Me : Sorry? (I didn't hear it well because she was quiet)
Her : I was seducing you for real.
Me : Ohhohhh
Her : *cute laughs*
I then ejected the conversation. I was asking myself things. Was I really into that girl? Actually, I used to be needy with her and pretty nervous, because I though that she was the only option to me. When I was successful at this, I realized that I was needy not about her, but I was needy about becoming good with girls. Once I knew I was good with her, I was feeling kind of detached. So damn weird. I think that once I did that interaction, I was relieved to know that I really was pretty attractive to girls for real. I like her and she's a nice girl, but I don't feel big love for her. I have interest, this is for sure. I'm worried that if I get her as my girlfriend, doing cold approaches wouldn't feel the same anymore. She's a very cute girl, lovely, but not that hot.
I ejected because I was starting to feel nervous. I think that's it really.
I'll try to get her. She's cute and we are both interested to each other. I'll try to plan a date or something for us to know each other better.
Monday, March 26th
Founded some dude from my area that wants to sarge with me. He's like the only one that is around my age. This will be epic man.
I learned something important about The Blueprint. It's about being in the moment, right ****ing now and only now. I managed to stay in a very good state during the beginning of the day, but it started to die slowly.
Frizzy HB's always playing hard to get. She's funny.
Didn't interact with BH Laos today. I had some stupid excuses... I'm probably starting to be outcome dependant because this girl is into me so I don't want to screw up. This is what made me nervous all day and I ended up not doing anything. I was worrying about worrying. When I would worry, I would force myself to stop worrying but in the end, It would just get worse. It's like I have a hard time accepting nervousness to enter my body and I want it to go away.
Gotta be in the moment.
EDIT : Just deactivated my Facebook account. Man, it was so hard to press the deactivate button. I think I was seriously addicted to this ****. Anyway, that girl friend want us to do something together during the week off with some other buddies. That will be cool. She seemed pretty sad that I left haha.
Hey man. I just have to say, you have improved so damn much. Seriously at the start of your journal I couldn't see you here this fast. I thought you'd become routine dependant or something. But no, you went from having like four girls in your journal to a rotation- and I bet it feels like a similar period of time for you too. What I mean by that is for the first month or so of your journal, you had several girls you talked about constantly. Now those girls get the odd mention and every week or so there is a few new girls. I reckon that time passes differently for you now and if you were to try stopping what you have naturalised so well, you would feel weird, time would pass to slow.
The only advice I can give you is be more sexual and aggressive. Close man.
You've come a long way with a long way still to go. Props for getting rid of your facebook. I'd love to get rid of mine but I don't know if I can. I'd probably just lurk here more.
Man Jack, your comment means a lot to me. Thanks a lot for support. I also feel like I've changed since the beginning. I still feel like I'm going back to my old self at times though and I still have a lot to do. It doesn't matter. And about the four girls I used to talk about at the beginning, I switched their names to nicknames because I don't want to say names on my Journal. They are still in my head, but I'm really not as needy as before about them which is fantastic.
Learning, thanks a lot from the heart. I felt like you were always there to support me when I needed it. Your comments always make me feel good.
Really what's different about me since the beginning is my way of thinking, my way of seeing the world and myself. I feel in the present more than before. The future is something that doesn't exist at the moment, and you never know what can happen to you in the next 5 seconds. Any kind of plans or images from the future is simply an illusion and it will never ever happen exactly how imagined.
I learned to feel happy for no reason. The trick is simply to enjoy the most little things, and lower your standards to be happy. Reward myself for the little baby steps, don't beat myself up for inaction.
Anyway, today was nothing special. Didn't close yet, but I will for sure. Tomorrow, I won't eat at my usual table with the usual buddies. I'll eat at HB Laos's table. I don't plan anything. Nothing. I just go, feeling in the moment and happy. That's it.
I have to do my homeworks, do some breakdance, practice the piano, and meditate.
Beautiful song. Really gives me the mood. Fantastic.
The convergence of every challenges and disillusions
Spurs me beyond the very state of grace
A measureless momentum where matter and mind
Collapses together to commute into Plenitude.
Enough writing. I'll tell you guys about what happens tomorrow.
Wednesday, March 28th
Trapped into the cycle of inaction. Of procrastination. I'm not going to lie about how chicken I was today.
Man, it's been 3 days in a row.
I told myself that I would eat with HB Laos during dinner. I saw her by herself walking up the stairs. I didn't approach her. She was by herself! It's even easier when she's alone. Later that day, I see her sitting with her laptop, comfortably installed near her locker. There was a couple of friends around, but she was basically by herself again. I told myself to approach, but I had this mental block again.
I don't know if she sensed it from far. Man, this is getting retarded. It feels like I'm almost following her like a stalker. I'm not, but I feel like it. I'm waiting for the perfect opportunity, the perfect moment to talk to her. It never comes. And when it comes, it's for a split second. During that second, I start thinking. The next second, she's gone and I didn't act.
I tell myself that I MUST close. I have this big intention in mind, and in the end I end up not doing it. I think the past haunts me again. The last time I tried to close on the blonde HB8, I failed pretty much. My expectations are way too high and I'm getting very outcome dependant. I keep telling myself that it's now, or never. I tell myself that I can't approach nervously, or she'll sense it. I'm not comfortable with my anxiety and I don't allow it to be there. In the end? Nothing happened.
I started to notice the same pattern from last time. I flirted with the blonde girl, she was attracted, I didn't close, waited, and when I came back, the vibe wasn't there anymore. I waited too long, I waited too long for the perfect opportunity and it never happened. I don't strike when the iron's still hot. I'm afraid. In the end, she had time to change her mind. Yep, it's the SAME pattern again. I'm doing the same mistake. I think it's because when I get a good reaction from a girl, I start getting happy and situation dependant. It's that situation that keeps my state high. I want to keep this going, so I really don't want to mess it up so I can feel that boost again. I started getting attached to her too much.
The truth is... do I know her enough to be that attached to her?
... My mind is crazy! I have no reason to be that attached. She should be the one chasing me.
There's no way this will happen again. No damn way.
Let's not take this so seriously. In the end, she isn't the prettiest girl. I can't fake true confidence.
I know this post is empty. I still believe it's important to post some thoughts and realizations. I had the need to stop and think about things.
Just a song I like.
Mors Principium Est - Another Creation - YouTube
Ah inaction, well it's been some time since I been here but you've made alot of progress man, that is good. Well about the inaction, I'm used to approaching like crazy at school so some time last week while walking in the hood I saw this fine girl I wanted to approach but something held me back, I was so conditioned to approaching in school that this almost overlwhelmed me.
Then I literally just approached her from behind and just said HI, to be honest it felt like my first ever approach but it turned out okay, got her number and I'm still yet to meet her, so I don't mean in anyway to be cliche, but JUST DO IT! You'll thank yourself later man.
Nino, thanks for your comment! I'll take your advice
Thursday, March 29th
Today, I was feeling in a good state!
The day started okay. I was feeling nervous about the class discussion a little.
I'm really not connected to Frizzy HB anymore. I don't like her personality. I would never date her, she often tries to find a reason to feel bad and ****. It's pretty annoying, and she is addicted to throwing some congruence tests at me or whatever you want to call it. She's always testing me. I can see it by her subtle smile, but sometimes she just seems plain serious. Anyway, I'll pass on her for sure. I experienced enough on her.
I don't know why, but I always pass by HB Laos when I get down the stairs. It's maybe not a coincidence. We talked a bit. Seemed like she was trying to get a good conversation. She asked me if I finished doing my film, and I told her yes. She told me that she would rape the replay button, and I told her that she's probably addicted to me. She laughed, hehe. During lunch time, I decided to sit at her table. I like her happy welcoming smile she gives me. I talked a bit with her and her guy buddies. Sometimes she laughs when I just look into her eyes for long. It's kind of cool. Though, I had no sexual talk with her. I was a lot less nervous than yesterday about talking to her. Man, I had some serious issues haha! At some point, I called out some girl behind her. I ended up ejecting.
I said hi to that girl friend, just for fun, and that other girl HB7.5 came next to me and called me by my nickname. I responded, told her hi and touched her arm (and the boob a little, I *think* it was accidental LOL). I sat at their table and said hi to the other girls too, most are girl friends I know. There were maybe 6-7 of these girls, but I didn't talk to all of them though. I was feeling more relaxed and good than usual. I didn't think about anything to say, and this is why I wasn't nervous!
I remembered something from the Blueprint. When you assume something from someone, they'll try to act upon it. Let's say I tell someone that he's a nice person, this person will try to act nice in return. The guys would respond well back.
Haha, this is a cool one. I was near the lockers and I saw this box made of chewing gum boxes. I putted it on my head and there was this asian girl HB6 I didn't know (Drunky's friend). I looked at her, and I told her : Hey, agree that I look very sexy with that! I smiled, and I locked eye contact. She was unreactive (asian girls... pfft lol), so was I. I wasn't even thinking and it spitted out of my mouth almost instantly.
I'm progressing in this game called life!
This was a good day. I'm depending less and less on other's reactions and I focus more on myself as a person. I would sing to myself and talk to myself just for the fun sometimes. I didn't give a **** and people though that I was funny.
Oh man, I almost forgot about something. There's this buddy (not AFC dude with horrible posture) that pulls me down. He laughs at my *pick up tactics* and stuff, tactics that I don't really have anymore since I try to act as natural as possible. He talks about them out loud and people around us probably hears about it.
*Haha, hey remember when you told me this girl is totally into you? Like, you saw it through her body language and all that ****? Man, this is bull****!*
And the other day :
*Man, forget about it. You won't get her.*
He's pretty much an AFC, not higher than me in popularity or anything. I remember when he was 11 in elementary school, he told us that when he arrives to high school, he'll be popular as hell and stuff like that. It never happened haha. He's the kind of guy that follows other people and tries to be popular. I don't blame him for his lack of knowledge and his insecurities. I have a lot of insecurities too, but I know how to deal with them at least. I don't try to come back and pull him down. If this is what he needs to feel better well, I don't really care. He can do it. Truth is the last time he had a girlfriend, he was in grade 9 and it was for... a week. NO connection at all, they weren't even happy together. Anyway, I won't hate on him.
It's weird. I kind of feel good about this hate. The Blueprint reminded me that the more your reality changes, the more people and your subconscious will try to pull you back to that old self. This means I'm changing as a person and my buddy starts to become envious about me. I'm starting to realize things socially more and more, not just with girls, but about people in general. I know how it works more and more. I love this.
Today was a great day. I plan on doing the same tomorrow, and chatting with some girls.
EDIT : I give myself another challenge. I will stop going on Sosuave or the Simple Pick Up forum so often. I will go there only to post on my Journal the days I feel like it. What I do here on the forum is hope for some positive or negative feedback from people for me to improve. I have to learn to improve by myself and I will start doing more productive things. I will stop depending on other people to give me the pat on the back. I will give myself my own pat. I waste so much time here, not doing anything. I realized that deactivating my facebook pushes me to spend my time on other things, like videogames or Sosuave. Anyway, I'm leaving.
Saturday, March 31st
Yesterday was an alright day. Nothing special, but nothing bad. I can conclude that by how I was feeling throughout the day. I'm used at beating myself up for the things I haven't done or for the things I could've done better. Not today though, which is cool.
I often hear Frizzy HB talk about me. Today in class, they were talking in a group about me. They kept repeating my name and laughing, I didn't know why. I went to their table. She told me with a smile : Hey Mind, the day we'll be friends is the day cows will fall from the sky! Blablabla, the usual playful teasing.
HB Laos wasn't at the cafeteria today! That sucked since I couldn't talk to her and I had no idea where she was. I saw her early this morning though. Said hi, touched her by the hips as she said Ahhhh. I'm not closing because I'm scared. When I see her with her friends, I'm afraid of approaching but when she's by herself I don't have much troubles! Man, why should I worry? Her friends are probably nice people because I know some of them. I assume the rest is cool too. They seem like open people, so why not? I should learn to approach groups of girls.
Tonight I'm going to that guy friend's party. He usually brings only girls to his parties and since he's gay, he will not ****block me. It will be alcohol free though, and his parents might be there too. It doesn't matter! If the girls are pretty, I'll flirt. If they aren't, I'll make new friends for sure. I don't know the people that will go there, so it will be a good opportunity to socialize and have fun.
I will post about how it went later tonight, or tomorrow.
EDIT : Damn, I fail so much at no MBing sometimes! I don't MB for like 3-4 days, then I do. Did it 2 times yesterday and once this morning. Gotta stop this ****...
EDIT 2 : Man... this really sucks! I really can't stop procrastination. Not only with girls, but with my school work and things to be done. I couldn't go to the party because I have a week filled with exams and homeworks coming up, and I haven't studied in advance. Trust me, this is not some lame excuse because I feel like a *****. I thought about doing my stuff on Sunday, but I'm filming my music video for art class on that day with Drunky. Whatever. I'm not sad about that!
I dreamed about HB Laos twice. I don't remember what it was about, but I remember seeing her in my dreams. She haunts my mind more and more these days. Gotta be careful not to become too needy with her, as I did with Blonde HB before. I have to make a move on her fast. Must stop procrastination with girls too!
PUA stuff seeds procrastination in us.
You were getting weird and stalker for a while. Still are just a little. think about it this way: You will never see this girl again. You have nothing to gain from waiting and you lose an opportunity.
Lastly, try being congruent to whatever you're feeling, whether that be nervous, excited, aroused, etc... Just do it and so quickly it'll all be better.
Monday, April 2nd
Good day! HB Laos is into me, no doubt about that.
Started off slow and I was out of state. It's usually like that on Monday mornings when I'm stressed about the exams, not in the mood, tired, etc. Dumb excuses I know, but they can still affect me on some level. I was listening to The Blueprint last night. There's only 1-2 hours remaining and I listened to the whole stuff. I slept less lol.
Talking to anybody and to some girls help me warm up a little. It's fun. This ugly girl friend asked me what do I do with my life. I told her I was a stripper and she started smiling. It was funny.
HB big boobs went back from her trip to France. I wanted to talk to her again, but I was thinking too much about what to say, so we didn't have any meaningful conversations.
I'm not interested in HB Frizzy anymore. I'm getting tired of her **** tests all the time! It's getting quite annoying lol.
Alright. Now, the interesting part.
I told myself I would go to HB Laos's table and eat with them. I was at my usual table at the start, but I decided to eject to switch after I ate my first piece of sandwich. As I started walking, nervousness started to arise. Nervousness mixed with excitement. I sat there, and she immediately started laughing with her 2 buddies, one asian dude (let's call him Yi) and another guy (let's call him H). They told me that they were talking about me.
Me : Hey, what's happening?
Laos : Hahaha! Nothing
H : You came here at the perfect time! We were talking about you!
Laos : *ejects to get her food in the microwave*
H : HB Laos dreamed about you last night!
Laos : *walking back to the table* *giggles*
H : It was an erotic dream!
Me : *Opened my mouth wide wide a subtle smile*
Laos : Okay! Lemme explain. There was you and Yi. You both said to me that you loved me! I told Yi that I didn't like him and he started crying like a little baby!
Me : Haha, what happened with me?
Laos : Nothing! I don't know!
Me : Hey, don't change things up!
H : Mindgamez kissed you on the cheek!
Laos : Haha, nooo! XD
Me : Hey, it's alright! There's nothing wrong with fantasising about getting a threesome with 2 handsome asian guys. Learn to assume yourself!
Laos : *giggles*
And I don't remember what happened next. I kind of lost steam here. I can be good with maintaining short interactions, but when I have to sit with her for a good 30 minutes, I run out of things to say. I gotta get used to silences and pressure more. At some point, I though that I kind of screwed up. We left on separate ways. I went to throw something in the garbage, and HB Laos was already kind of far away. I tried to catch her up, she turned around and looked at me, then she continued walking lol. I saw my cool dancer buddy and I said hi to him. She left and that's it.
I went outside to play some football with my buddies. My friend that was putting me down about my pick up stuff, he told everyone about it probably. Truth is, I don't try to read body language anymore, I don't have any magic technique. This other guy friend shouted as I arrived : Hey! Did you read her body language right? Was it positive? The guys around us started laughing. I was kind of annoyed, but amused at the same time because I knew this meant that they were maybe jealous. Anyway, I try not to listen to them too much.
Later after school, I see her walking by herself. I follow up from behind and I talk to some buddy pretending I didn't saw her. She then turns around.
Me : HB Laos? What the hell are you doing here?
Laos : Haha, you're following me!
Me : No, you're the stalker!
Buddy : Ohh, Mindgamez is seducing!
*At this point, I just ignore my buddy and I focus on her*
Me : I know you always dream about me at night!
Laos : *giggles*
Me : And when you're about to sleep, you hug your pillow and you imagine that it's me.
Laos : *giggles* (All she does is giggle but she's pretty shy)
Me : *put my hand on shoulder* It's alriiiight
Then, she bumps into some random janitor because she wasn't paying attention.
Janitor : What the hell!
Laos : Waah, eww!
Me : Seeya XD
Then I took the bus.
In the bus, there's this asian girl HB6, an acquaintance. I was taking a whole seat just for me, then she talked to me.
Girl : Hey Mindgamez, could you sit in the back?
Me : No!
Girl : Uh, why? x)
Me : You have to ask it politely!
Girl : Alright alright. Could you sit in the back please so I can get a seat?
Me : Hahaha! No.
Girl : Ohhh come on XD.
Me : Alright alright, because you asked kindly.
Girl : Aw thanks, you're so cute.
Me : Hehe, I know
Girl : x)
Tuesday, April 3rd
I write a lot these days, but it's because I'm starting to realize things.
I just finished watching/listening to the Blueprint. It is fantastic. It's all about feeling good from within, having a strong sense of reality, knowing who you are, and being in the moment and not thinking ahead. I learn to build up my own state based on nothing else but me. I'm being less and less situation dependant. It's about giving value to people, because you don't need to get value for yourself since you already accept yourself fully. You feel good because you make people feel good around you. It's fantastic.
About what happened today, I was very out of state. I was beating myself up a little for inaction and things, but right now, at the moment, I know that there is absolutely no need to feel bad about myself. I accept my flaws, and I accept that bad days will occur. I don't try and fight them, I don't try and resist them. I just flow with it, I let it be.
I'm feeling amazing. What the hell's going on? And I have no reason to feel like that!
Let's do some home works. Man, it's crazy I'm usually not as motivated for school. Now, I feel like school is a great thing. I'm lucky to be doing what I do.
Enough writing guys! I'm out
It's been awhile since my last approach, so I knocked out 7 approaches today. Didn't go too well though. Mind you, all my cold approaches involved moving targets and took place outside in a crowded shopping district in the city. They all happened in one form or another like the following scenarios:
While walking down the street, I approach a HB walking opposite to me.
Me: Excuse me
HB: *stops and turns head towards me to hear what I have to say*
Me: I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to say hi!
HB: Hmph! *continues on walking*
While walking down the street, I approach a HB walking opposite to me.
Me: Excuse me
HB: *stops and turns head towards me to hear what I have to say*
Me: I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to say hi!
HB: Thank you! *continues on walking*
While walking down the street, I approach a HB walking opposite to me.
Me: Excuse me, I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to say hi!
HB: Oh! *stops in her tracks, hesitates, then prepares to walk away*
Me: What's your name? *extend hand out*
HB: sorry! *continues on walking away*
Approach 15 (Scenario A)
HB7 was probably about 5 years older than me
I said my line nervously and quickly this time, since it was my first approach.
Approach 16 (Scenario A)
HB8 was maybe a few years older than me
I said my line pretty confidently with my chin up and thumbs tucked in my front pockets. My attitude was like "I don't give a mother**** anymore! Rejections, bring it on!" Nearby, a worker unloading stuff from a truck in the background said "Sweet!"
Approach 17 (Scenario A)
HB7 with sunglasses on
Approach 18 (Scenario B)
HB7 around my age
Approach 19 (Scenario C)
HB6 several years older than me
Approach 20 (Scenario C)
HB7 who was pretty short but really cute. Probably near my age.
There you have it. At this point, my sole focus is knocking out 1000 approaches. I'm pretty confident I'll make more progress once I reach that threshold. lol *sigh*
PS. I don't think I looked that bad either. I give myself a 7 in looks. I do look rather young, since I just graduated from college.
^Good luck on your way to 1,000. That's a tangible and challenging goal.
Why'd you post it in Mind's journal though?
Damn good luck on the 1,000! And yeah, you should write that in your journal instead of mine, lol.
Thursday, April 5th
I was able to hit a fantastic state. I was fully living in the present, not caring, the words were flowing like water and my natural humour really shined for real. I didn't think about the outcome, anything. I didn't think about how I should act around others. I was totally self-amusing myself! TOTALLY! I was out of control man. I would laugh for no reason, I would say random things. They weren't funny, but the way I said them made me funny.
The night before, I was chatting with HB Laos. I told her that I would eat at her table during lunch time. She said : Hum... maybe! I might eat with my other friends today since it's been a long time! I simply said No, you gotta eat with us .
The night before, I had troubles sleeping. I was planning my approach on her. I was worrying that I'll have to eat with a bunch of girls I don't know at all. Next morning started off with an okay state. Wanted to approach her during the break, but she was talking to people. I'm afraid of talking to groups of people I don't know!
I had an hour free during the day. I should have done mathematics, but instead, I listened to the Blueprint again. There's this part that I really like. When you are starting to have a new reality and new beliefs, your mind will try to block them and go back to your old self where life was easy and free of any kind of fear. Even if this new reality has infinite more potential. This really got into me. I felt great. I was entering God Mode.
At lunch time, there she was. She was at her usual tables with the people I know. I came to that table and said hello. I was feeling SO in control. I said a bunch load of good things and I don't even remember half of them because I was so in the moment. I wasn't thinking, scripting anything like I used to do before. I could see in her eyes and her smile that the things I said was going good. My friend H supports me, he's so cool to be around! Sometimes, complete nonsense was said. They agreed that I was a comedian. She would laugh every time I would go into sexual convo. I have so much fun assuming that she's chasing me and I'm used to negging. She sometimes playfully changed seats so we weren't next to each other. This was a test and I knew it. I did my things and I came next to her again. She smiled when I arrived. She doesn't really touch me though, or in a subtle way. We were talking about bananas (referring to penises), dreams about me, doing naughty things, etc. Sometimes, simply random. My body language, tone and rhythm of voice felt perfect.
Me : *pointing at HB Laos* Sunday! You're coming
Friend : Hey, where you two going?
Me : Haha, we are going to do some... things. You know
Laos : *giggles*
Friend : XD Alright! I don't want to know about this.
Me : You know, it's just like, it's like, it's like just like, you know like! (fake stutter made on purpose cauz it's funny)
Me : *sensual voice and eyes* You're licking your fingers?
Laos : *looking at me smiling*
Me : It's like... the KFC! Finger licking good *lift eyebrows + silence but kept eye contact*
Laos : Damn, I eat so damn much sometimes.
He : Hehehe! I know you always eat like a dirty pig! (in French, this has a sexual meaning)
H : Damn, everytime those two talk to each other, it always sounds sexual!
Laos : *laughs* Noo! It's his fault!
Me : Noo, it's totally yours, don't hide it
After some flirting and stuff :
Me : Hey *serious, but playful face*, I know you will be disappointed about this, but I'm sorry. It's just like, like, I don't feel like it today!
Laos : *giggles* what's going on? What? What?
Me : You know, it's just not happening right now.
Laos : What! What!
H : Mindgamez, respect man!
Me : *leaving like a boss*
After that, I heard one of the girls (I don't know who it was) screaming my name to come back. I had to go do my physics lab and my friend was waiting for me!
Damn, I don't know if I'm negging too much. But it's my kind of game though. I looove it, but at some point I think I have to get more serious about it. What you guys think? Any advice?
Me, her and some friends are going to lazerquest this Sunday. This will be a **** load of fun. She'll send me her phone number by facebook.
Damn, I don't even remember everything I said. Time just flew by as I was just totally amusing myself. I never had this kind of feeling before. I realized that simply amusing yourself will draw people to you. They will come, even if you don't need them. I was feeling true self-esteem at this point, core happiness and confidence.
Though, I lost it a little afterwards. I gradually lost state as I left the table. My friends simply don't have the same energy. I shouldn't accuse them though.
I have a week off. Time to practice some approaches and have a blast. **** yeah!
Saturday, April 4th
I was in the wingman section of the Simple Pick Up forum and I founded about feelx, some 22 year old guy. We met at the mall today and it was a pretty cool experience!
We sat for an hour talking about pick up and stuff. We talked for almost an hour and a half. It's so cool to talk about this kind of stuff with people that have the same interest. None of my friends at school are into this!
It took us a while before we started approaching actually. We would wander around, a lot sometimes! It's good to relax sometimes and allow yourself to calm for a while, but we kept procrastinating. We decided to flip a coin to decide who will do it. Even though we did, we still had troubles starting! We then decided to do something more simple and ask simple questions instead.
I didn't attempt to get any numbers or anything. We talked to a bunch of HB7-8s though. I asked them to tell me how old I look like. I managed to talk for a good while. feelx and me helped each other a little, but then we tried things separately. Hey, what's cool is that most of them told me that I look like I'm 19-21. Some were surprised that I was 16! I could actually manage to get into a bar if I try. And maybe I could flirt with girls that are older than me and simply pretend that I'm 20 or something. I told the girls it was because I wanted to go out with some friend at a bar. Most of them told me that they would verify and that I wouldn't be able to go. 2 of them told me that I should totally try though. And maybe I should actually... haha.
I ended the day by asking some random women what kind of pie they like the most, just to get used to open with anything. I didn't count my approaches, but we probably did like 7 to 10 each.
Nothing very serious yet. I realized that the best thing to do (personally) is to go blank and just go with nothing in mind. I eventually forget about my BBs and I just flow with them.
It was fun and I'm ready to do more and better next time! I can clearly do better and I know it. When I'm with feelx, I feel more like approaching because there's that someone with me to encourage me. By yourself, it's really not the same. Actually, I realize that no matter if I'm with someone or not, it doesn't change the approach. Because we mostly approached solo, it doesn't change **** to be with someone! It's the same approach! It's all in the mind... I allow myself to feel safe about approaching only when I'm with some buddy. I must learn to be independent! Anyway, I love this.
About HB Laos, we talked on Facebook. Here's the convo.
Me : Go check the event (on facebook)
Laos : But I will probably be at my bungalow!
Laos : And H too...
Me : No there's no bungalow, but there's lazerquest on Sunday XD
Laos : I caannnnnnnnnnn't... Maybe Yi can?
Me : I'm busy the rest of the week you know, it's your only opportunity Laos
Me : Only me and Yi? Wut XD
Laos : Yeah but I can't! And H too
Laos : Haha
Me : Aight we'll talk about it! Give me your phone number so we can organise this later
Laos : I don't have a cell phone hihi
Me : In what kind of world you live in XD
Laos : In the world of *her family name*
Laos : Anyway, gotta go eat! We'll talk about it
Me : Aightz!
She's trying to make me jealous with H it seems like! And H texted me today that he's going to his grandpa's house, and he never mentioned any kind of bungalow. I feel like she's playing games. Her signal is maybe to go for it, and fast, before some other dude gets her. Anyway, I should not overanalyse things.
Yeah, I'm going to the movie theaters with my ex and some other friend of mine! (let's call her HB C) We used to flirt together. Then, I wanted to go for Blonde HB, so I let my friend have HB C. They ended up breaking up. Anyway, I like her because she likes to talk sexually. We could maybe be **** buddies or something. We talk about creampies and it's fun XD. Didn't see her in a while now! I should definitely try escalating things with her.
Friday, April 13th
Didn't write in a loong while.
Didn't hear about HB Laos for the whole week. She wasn't on facebook at all. Either she's trying to ignore me, or she's on vacations. She told me she was at her bungalow. I won't analyse all that ****. This whole week without talking to her made me less needy. I'm focusing on other things.
I jammed with an awesome drummer this Monday. He won the talent show (and me too!), and we decided to maybe start a band. This Friday, I'm going to another talent show and I'll be playing the electric piano. I love those kind of public performances. BBs turn into excitement, and I just enjoy myself and let it flow. It should be the same with girls! I am so immersed in the music that I forget about the public, I'm one with the music.
HB C wanted to go to the movie theaters with some friends and me, but she couldn't make it because her mom is so strict. Me, my ex and this cool dude rented some horror movie (Silent Hill, great stuff) and we watched it.
On Thursday, I shot my music video with Drunky, girl that used to have a crush on me. I love filmmaking. http://www.youtube.com/user/jesuislepluscool?feature=mhee
I believe it's important to have passions and goals in life in order to be complete. I believe that girls should naturally come to you as you learn to be less needy around them. You should not use your hobbies as a way to escape reality, but as a way to have massive fun.
I want to go do some pick up tomorrow, but I'm feeling nervous about going there by myself. I met many familiar faces last time and I'm worried about encountering them. The town is kind of big, but the mall is not that big.
Can't find it. Make it the main video on your channel.