Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Improve SMV

Reykhel

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Sometimes mini-Monk Mode is necessary and you need to take a break from women for whatever reason......you've just come out of LTR, your standards have dropped, your life's a mess, your game's been off....sometimes you just need to assess your life's priorities. Assess the people in your life. the wrong people can bring you down.....the right people....can bring you up....


Improve SMV


1. Fitness:
This is not just about having a beach body. A man needs to work out to be fit and strong and on top form for the demands of this world. You are a warrior. Your body is a temple. Fitness is essential because you carry yourself differently. You have a swagger about you. You have a killer look in your eyes. Your body language is different. Your whole physiology. Besides you need your body's free drugs: endorphines and testosterone. there is no excuse. Can't afford a gym? Body weight exercises and running. Shaddow box.

1.b Learn to cook: you'll need to fuel that body well. You have to eat several times daily. why not learn to cook well and enjoy the process. As your maidens marvel at your culinary expertese they will sigh and say "a man that can cook is worth his weight in gold". You will shake your head at the silly little vixen and say "everyone knows the world's best chefs are men"

2. Fashion: Look at your wardrobe. Do you look like a ragbag? Is it time to toss out the ripped jeans and tennis shoes? You don't need to be walking around in a tuxedo, think smart and casual. Look at fashion mags and know your stuff. Get a stylish haircut.

3. Job : You don't have a job....get a job. ****e job...get a better job. Good job....be the best at that job. You are the best....get your own business. Got your own business...excel.

4. Social A : You'll talk to at least ten people in real every . With no expectations. Men and women. No numbers. Nothing, only talk. Can you imagine your social street vibe you'd give off if you do this daily for 3 months? 6 months? 1 year? The street would be your domain. If anybody has worked with the public before, if anybody is a teacher or other such profession....they will know what confidence I'm talking about. The ability to talk to strangers, anytime any fvcking place. It's a social skill.....go hone. Believe me, when the girl your with sees this social ability she will be in awe of you.

5. Passion/Hobby: Find something that you used to do and you let go or something that you've always wanted to do but you fvcking kept on procrastinating about it. It's time to do it now. It could be a musical instrument. It could be a language. It could be art. It could be a martial art. Do it. Embrace it. Give it your all. This is your thing. Never give it up for anyone.

6. Social B : You will join a social group or two which you will attend once or twice per week. Examples: Toastmasters (improve your public speaking skills, meet people/network) , Salsa classes (learn to dance/ meet people). This will enhance your social skills immensly and bring fun and interest into your life.

7. Self-improvement : Anybody can read ten pages of a good, life enhancing book every day. It's easy to do.....so why doesn't everybody do it? because it's tragically easy not to do. You need your mind to be sharp. Knowledge is fvcking power. Inner game is everything....
(suggestions: no more mr nice guy, the way of men, Iron John, King Warrior Lover Magician, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, The way of the superior man, the myth of male power, how to win friends and influence people, models, the rational male, Sperm wars, the red queen, the 48 laws of power, the 50th law, the art of seduction, mastery, the art of war, Antifragile, Influence......)

8. Social C: Male friends : every man needs male friends. It's healthy. To go for a beer once a week, to shoot pool, play golf. to go hunting with.......Hunting for women...Wingmen. You don't have any? Look for someone in your social circle. A man's man. Preferably someone popular (a social connector....will open so many social doors for you) invite out for a beer.

9. Goals: write a list of 101 things you want to do before you die. Reflect on your life and where your wasting time and where people are wasting your time....

10. Meditate Simply sit down for 10 minutes each day and focus on your breath. Count your in breaths 1-10. If you get distracted, that's ok, just start the count again. Google: the 5 distractions to meditation (ill will, sensory desire, doubt, sloth and stupor). You will be amazed what this will do to your inner game. Try it for 30 days and if it sucks, guess what? don't continue it.

11. Quit alcohol for at least 30 days: can you do it? You are a slave to what you cannot say no to, a slave. This is all about discipline and keeping a clear head. Guess what power this will give you over skanky women that aren't worth your time. Raising standards.

This period should last 1-3 months. There are no getting numbers during this period. There is no gaming bytches. All of your conversations are WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS....so shut down your plenty of fat fvcks account, no facebook, delete tinder.....fvck all social media to the side...your dependent on it ....break your dependencies

There is one exception: I say, KEEP ONE PLATE AND YOU MAY FVCK HER ONCE PER WEEK. Call me a slave then, but I am a realist. This is not prison....

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12. Study Game : during the last month of your 3 month exile, start to study game, because you'll be going out soon. Now really, after all of this social confidence building, really I could just say go out once or twice a week and bytche's will approach you because of the new vibe your giving off......or that you could just go out an approach women and your allure will do the job.....but we all know that no matter what some people do, they will end up fvcking it all up with bad game mistakes.....
so better to be prepared right? It's up to you who you decide to learn game from......but really it shouldn't be that complicated......you've built up your SMV and you can feel it in your swagger.....you're carrying yourself differently, you don't fear talking to anyone....just put the cherry on the cake with a social skill set and you'll be unstoppable....

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13. Approach: After the 3 month exile your now allowed off your lease. You're free to approach. Drop the plate that you were fvcking if your sick of her. You remember all of those conversations in the street? The 10 every day for the last 3 months? Well you see how easy it's going to be to approach any woman, any time, any where right now? You're not going to stand on street corners.....your going to be doing what you did before....continue with your conversations as you go about your business but this time......ABC......always be closing!! A nice number close? Hey great chatting to you....how can we continue this conversation? She'll find the solution for you....
You'll also go out once a week and approach. Stand at the bar with your back to the bar and watch them approach you.......

13.b Rejection: We all know the expression "rejection is better than regret". You're not fvcking her now...if you approach her, you could well have your c0ck in between her legs tonight or tomorrow. If you don't approach her....you'll never fvcking know. There's 3 possible outcomes when you approach her 1. you make the date/do something with her there and then leading to seduction 2. you get the number (a timebridge is all it is) and you see her again to continue the seduction 3. She rejects you.

You look at rejection two ways 1. Every rejection is a victory because you had the audacity to go for it. You have fire in your balls soldier boy.
2. I want you to have compassion for the poor girl who didn't have the good sense to continue the interaction with you. Grieve for her. Say it as she goes "I feel grief for you....". She's not going to get to be a part of your awesome fvcking life...

Have fun.....if the game's not fun for you how can it be fun for her!!

You want someone interesting and fun.....you be interesting and fun...

Remember : Take Right Action : the ability to do what needs to be done regardless of what
your emotions are saying to you.
 
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Wilko

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Chose to embrace monk-mode after my ride broke down over the holiday period (still weeks away from getting my bike back on the road). The base I live and work at is a good $100 cab ride away from the city, and it's been a ghost town over the holidays. So I haven't had much scope for socialising, but otherwise it's been textbook monk-mode (yeah, the irony of what I just said isn't lost on me).

Killed my bodyweight routine, picked up Archery as a hobby, did a lot of self-examination, a bit of planning, plenty of aimless d!cking around, and a whole lot of nothing. Tomorrow, I'll hit a major, major financial goal - the six figure kind.

I lead a pretty stoic, minimalist lifestyle to begin with, but this stripped me back to nothing. No transport, extremely limited contact with other people. And surprisingly, it was fine, it really didn't affect me one way or the other. That was the big takeaway from monk-mode this time - that I can be comfortable and content with almost nothing, even less than what I thought I was capable of. How liberating is that idea hey? Knowing that you can have everything taken away from you and you'll still be better than OK. I think that actually means more to my personal freedom than having $XXXXXX in the bank.
 
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Reykhel

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Chose to embrace monk-mode after my ride broke down over the holiday period (still weeks away from getting my bike back on the road). The base I live and work at is a good $100 cab ride away from the city, and it's been a ghost town over the holidays. So I haven't had much scope for socialising, but otherwise it's been textbook monk-mode (yeah, the irony of what I just said isn't lost on me).

Killed my bodyweight routine, picked up Archery as a hobby, did a lot of self-examination, a bit of planning, plenty of aimless d!cking around, and a whole lot of nothing. Tomorrow, I'll hit a major, major financial goal - the six figure kind.

I lead a pretty stoic, minimalist lifestyle to begin with, but this stripped me back to nothing. No transport, extremely limited contact with other people. And surprisingly, it was fine, it really didn't affect me one way or the other. That was the big takeaway from monk-mode this time - that I can be comfortable and content with almost nothing, even less than what I thought I was capable of. How liberating is that idea hey? Knowing that you can have everything taken away from you and you'll still be better than OK. I think that actually means more to my personal freedom than having $XXXXXX in the bank.
Great stuff, man. Brilliant reply.

"Knowing that you can have everything taken away from you and you'll still be better than Ok" And that gentlemen, is pure core confidence.

I think when you can be truly comfortable and content with almost nothing, that's when you really have the ability to appreciate what's important in life.

What you say about the minimalist lifestyle reminds me of the beginning of Tim Ferris's four hour work week. He's in Vegas and he's talking to this multimillionaire guy with a huge azz diamond ring on his finger and he asks him which of his companies or businesses brought him the most pleasure.....and the guy said he hated them all. Trapped in his wealth....

I'd be interested in hearing about your body weight routine. Body weight routines are great to have. You need to travel, you don't have access to a gym, you don't have the time for the gym, you don't like gyms..................you can do it anytime, anywhere......no excuses...
 

Reykhel

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1. Fitness
I'm not talking about bodybuilding here. I'm talking about spartan fitness and strength. Not everybody is into going to the gym to lift weights, so bodyweight exercises offers an alternate way to work out and get strong, fit and toned. In my opinion, the heart is the most important muscle in the body. If the heart stops working, that's it. Game over. So getting the heart working on a daily basis is fundamental.

The following is a body weight routine that can be done, anytime, anywhere:

Warm-up
Skip rope (if you have a skipping rope) 3 x 3 min rounds
if no rope:
Jog on spot
star jumps
burpees
knees to chest
ankles to calves
(5 mins)

Basic Effective Body Weight Routine:
Squat x 30
Press up x 20-30
Leg raises x 20-30
Wide arm press up x 20-30
Sit up x 20 -30
finger tip press up x 10
dips x 15 -20
superman (or alternating leg and arm raise) x 20-30

Do all the way through, resting only a few seconds between exercises, to complete one series. Rest 1 minute and then complete the second series. (two series will take between 18 and 25 minutes. Do time yourself and aim to eventually get your reps up and your time down)

Then. to finish.
Static bridge high arm...1 minute
Side bridge raises.....15 each side
static bridge low arm.....1 minute
Side bridge static holds....30 seconds each side

You can play around with these. for example, do an alternate static bridge high arm and low arm.....holding ten seconds high, switch to low, hold ten seconds, switch to high......

Optional
towel work:
Rotar cuff work with towel. take one end of towel in left hand and drape towel behind your back, left hand above shoulder, put your right lower arm behind your back and grab the other end of towel. Take the pressure with one end and pull with the opposite x 10. repeat other side.

The ripper
Take towel and hold the two ends with either hand and hold the towel out and away from your body at chest height. Breath in and when you breath out pull gently with both hands until the out breath is gone x 10.
Now hold it above your head x 10
Now hold it behind your back x 10

Stretch.

Routine can be done x 3 per week:
Monday, Wednesday, Friday
or
Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday.

Let's say you do the body weight routine Monday/Wednesday/Friday.........that leaves Tuesday and Thursday and possibly Saturday....you decide if you'll exercise 5 or 6 days, but that been said, even your rest days you need to be active. Active rest days. Always thinking of the heart. Always thinking about moving.

So let's say your not in a cell, because the body weight routine can be considered a prisoner's workout. You're not in a cell? and you have your own legs fully functioning? You lucky dog! Get the fvck out into the open air and run....

Tuesday and Thursday.....Run/Sprint days. We're not looking to be marathon runners here just yet, it's fitness. This can be done in 20-30 mins. Get a nice warm up and then start fartlek running......pick up the pace for 30 seconds and then back down again, Do this about ten times and then job to cool down.

warm up run, fartlek, cool down run
 
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ubercat

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thanks for sharing I'll definitely be printing this one I'm always looking for low impact exercises and I'm guessing if you do these fast it's also a hell of a cardio workout.
 

Asmodeus

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Good advice...
And Marcus Aurelius Meditations is a great book. I am glad you mentioned philosophy texts in your self help books section. I believe that it is imperitive for men to develop a sense of meaning and philosophical understanding. Philosophy is the thing that saved me from the brink of literal insanity...

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now." -Marcus Aurelius
 

Lozboss

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I'm a firm advocate of monk mode. Good post OP.

Although too many think monk mode=MGTOW . It doesn't
 

Trump

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Or you can be just have a lot of money and it will overtake every single one of those points fourfold.

Girls don't care if you can salsa dance, have fun friends, join clubs, have a passion, read, dress well, or are a fun guy. They care if you have money. All the stuff listed is good theory but in a way it's fake, it won't bring you any cash which is the bottom line.

Getting sex is about being in the right place at the right time. No girl is going to come knock on your door for any reason other than money.
 

Asmodeus

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@Trump I agree with you that money is a major player. However, you can attract a woman and sex with passion, with confidence, style, and good looks. If it were all just about money then this forum would not exist and you may as well go read the Wall Street Journal or go on forums discussing investing.
 

Reykhel

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Or you can be just have a lot of money and it will overtake every single one of those points fourfold.

Girls don't care if you can salsa dance, have fun friends, join clubs, have a passion, read, dress well, or are a fun guy. They care if you have money. All the stuff listed is good theory but in a way it's fake, it won't bring you any cash which is the bottom line.

Getting sex is about being in the right place at the right time. No girl is going to come knock on your door for any reason other than money.
People like you actually make me sick. Your ignorance is limitless and appalling. I feel a mixture of pity and derision for you. It's probably futile responding to you as we have completely different worldviews and motivations. But as you're bringing negativity to the thread and no value....

Why would I care what girls think? If you really think all of this is motivated primarily "so that I can meet girls" you are sadly mistaken. I don't believe that this website's overall message is to primarily meet girls. It seems to me that it's more develop into the kind of man, who naturally attracts women. Women are a by product.

So let's look at your advice shall we "or you can be just have (sic) a lot of money and it will overtake every single one of those points fourfold"

Firstly, that's making the assumption that one's primary motivation in life is meeting women. If that is your case I can only pity you. Maybe you'll only grasp this on your deathbed but life is more than making money.

Secondly, I live in a foreign country without any family so to me, just going and making money and nothing more would be completely and utterly leading to a boring and lonely life. You say all of the above things are good in theory. For you maybe because you are only experiencing these things in theory as you read the words on a page. I, on the other hand, am living the things that you can only experience in theory and I can tell you that what I am experiencing is a socially fulfilling and interesting life.

Women don't care if you can dance? Another black and white thinker who thinks he knows the opinion of every woman on earth. I don't care whether they care of not. I will write more about what I get out of my Salsa and Bachata classes and the fiesta that I go to. What I will say is that my social life has exploded, my contact with women has exploded.

I practice a martial art too. Which would fall into my "passion" category right now. In a dojo where there's a lot of respect and good energy. A lot of good positive male contact and now friendships. I'm good friends there with a lad who was married for 7 years, has a son and the ex is trying to limit his time with the son and squeeze more money out of him. But he's always positive. I value his friendship. It's something money cannot buy. He doesn't go to that dojo with the intention of "impressing women". It's his passion, just like mine. Now, as a by product............

Anyway, you run along now and go make your money....in the hope that's "what women want".
 
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Reykhel

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Good advice...
And Marcus Aurelius Meditations is a great book. I am glad you mentioned philosophy texts in your self help books section. I believe that it is imperitive for men to develop a sense of meaning and philosophical understanding. Philosophy is the thing that saved me from the brink of literal insanity...

"If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgment of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgment now." -Marcus Aurelius
Self improvement, not self help, a minor quibble.

"it's important for men to develop a sense of meaning and philosophical understanding" Great reply, I completely agree. And it doesn't get better than Meditations, by Marcus Aurelius, a great example of a strong, wise and intelligent man. A man who is not remembered by the money he left in his bank account.

You read a lot about alpha and beta here and threads stating "I acted beta" or whatever. And posters wanting to learn to be more "alpha". When really often what's missing is a need to get back in touch with one's own sense of masculinity. Generally speaking, the so-called "nice guy" has lost touch or maybe never had in the first place, a sense of his own masculinity.

Philosophy, masculinity, psychology...........the self-development journey is an ongoing journey......it's not a destination. It's not done for anybody else....certainly not to impress women....

Fantastic choice of quote that you wrote. Oh so very relevant.....
 

Reykhel

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thanks for sharing I'll definitely be printing this one I'm always looking for low impact exercises and I'm guessing if you do these fast it's also a hell of a cardio workout.
Great stuff man. I look forward to your feedback.

Yeah you'll get a nice aerobic and anaerobic workout.
 

grayclif

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This is an excellent post. Thank you.

1.b Learn to cook: you'll need to fuel that body well. You have to eat several times daily. why not learn to cook well and enjoy the process. As your maidens marvel at your culinary expertese they will sigh and say "a man that can cook is worth his weight in gold". You will shake your head at the silly little vixen and say "everyone knows the world's best chef's are men
You touched on food and cooking above but if I could add a bit on healthy cooking and eating for a better body.

If you are like me and have the propensity to gain weight easily you have to carefully watch the amount calories you consume. Younger folks have a little bit more flexibility but as you get older you want to eat more and that the same time you burn leas calories throughout the day ie. slower metabolism.

If you are looking to lose fat get a scale and weigh yourself at least once a day. Also, make a mental note of how much you eat each day. It would better if you counted calories but if that's a little much just remember. The point is to remember what and how much you ate (or drank) the day before and compare it to the movement on the scale. If the scale moves up then reduce what you consume or exercise more. If the scale moves down. Then you are on the right track. You won't drop every day but if this Mondays weight is better than last Mondays your net average is going down and this is wear you want to be.

If you count calories you can really fine tune this to get to 6 pack status. You can also calculate calories from alcohol into this if you like. If you stop drinking you will find losing the fat so much easier.

In the first few weeks you will notice weight loss first in your face as the pounds fall off. Grow a beard for the 30 - 90 days. When you shave it off you will look like a different person.
 

Reykhel

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@Reykhel
Static bridge high arm...1 minute - Is that holding a starting push-up position with arms fully extended?
Yes, exactly.

Keep your wrists inline with your shoulders and your body erect. You can do this too every time
you finish a series of press-ups, just hold it on the last rep for ten seconds or so.

A non static version, dynamic version, that hits the obliques hard,
is start in the static position and bring one knee from the outside up towards your shoulder and then bring it back down, then bring the other knee from the outside up towards your shoulder and then bring it back down..........start off relatively slow and with perfect technique then pick up the pace a little until you have
a little "step" when you alternate feet....
 

Reykhel

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Another skill needed by any Don Juan...

how to open a wine bottle

Last May, I took a movie and bottle of wine over to a girl's apartment. I took the wine into the dining room and was immediately like 'oh sh!t'
hahahaha true point. It irritates me if someone opens a bottle of wine, doesn't bother to cut the plastic off....just plunges the corkscrew straight in and yanks it out; and as a result the wine pours over the plastic foil..........or worse is when they "cork" the wine. A simple task which can be done suavely or oafishly....

How to open a bottle of wine

And while you're drinking wine, you may as well bring some mindfulness to the occasion....
Let Oz Clarke.....tell you about wine......(includes how to open a bottle of Champagne)
 

amazingswayze

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Thanks for posting something positive contrary to what is typically seen on these forums.

I need alot of work and this is the exact type of thing that can help me get the ball rolling.

I agree with monk mode. I'm not trying to mack right now because my confidence is low. I dropped off the face off the earth 3 months ago and it will take a lot of work just to get back to where I was.

I'm focusing on myself. I'm not as happy as I used to be, but it's all part of the grind. I'll get there.

Good post, OP.
 
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