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I feel like I only want to fukc girls to overcompensate for my past,and feel superior

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by SMS 48, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. SMS 48

    SMS 48 Don Juan

    Feb 27, 2012
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    Warning: Long post/rant.

    My past sucks and is saturated with low self-esteem and low confidence.

    In high school, I got hit on a lot. So many opportunities. I had such low self-esteem I thought that every girl that hit on me was engaging in a practical joke (wtf was wrong with me).

    In college, man, college. I could have banged so many chicks. Looking back, I remember so many IOIs, all which I dismissed as meaningless, and not indicators that the girl wants anything to do with me. I only smartened up after reading Attraction Is Not A Choice by David DeAngelo right before I went to Cancun where at the age of 21 I finally had my first kiss. Never even held a girl's hand before that.

    It was still pretty bad advice to apply to Cancun, since women weren't playing games there, although it did give me the balls to make out with a couple of girls (was still scared shytless 99% of the time).

    The ****y/funny stuff did was my senior year, and the ****y/funny stuff helped me nail this (hot) chick in my group project. That was my first lay at 23. It was also the first time I felt a boob.

    Since then (I'm 28) I've been in a 2 year LTR and nailed 7 girls total, one which has been a slut I met off a dating site, which I put 0 effort into, so its really 6.

    Notice my way of thinking I have a tendency not to count my last lay because she was a slut and I didn't have to work for it at all.

    Because of my sh!tty, non-existent past with females, I feel the need to overcompensate. All my friends and family assume I fukced dozens and dozens of women (I never told them that) and therefore regard me as high status and respect me as such.

    In other words, I would be treated differently if I knew the truth. Sure, they would still love me. But their opinion of me would change because that's how they've been raised in society.

    I'm actually kind of picky with women. I don't want to fukc 5/10s or even 6/10s... But I would (and have), to get my numbers up. Its pathetic.

    The point is, I'm not interested in nailing dozens of women. I feel like I could be content with one woman for the rest of my life:

    1) If I didn't feel the need to overcompensate for my past.

    2) If I didn't associate nailing dozens of women to be high status.

    But I do feel both of those things, and it hurts me more than it helps me in life.

    I'm wondering if anyone can relate.
  2. backseatjuan

    backseatjuan Master Don Juan

    Nov 2, 2011
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    The whole maddison avenue syndrome - or the like - is based on people feeling incomplete. Then after seemingly attaining what they wanted, people still feel incomplete, because what they wanted was dictated to them through commercials, movies, society.

    Read yourself "if I fakc more I'm high status". Are you not sick?

    Yes, with one girl you'll feel more complete and healthy, doesn't matter if she's 5/10s, 4/10s, or 3/10s.
  3. loveorlust

    loveorlust Don Juan

    Nov 18, 2011
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    Maybe it's one of those phases or chapters in your life that you just have to go through. In other words maybe you just need to get it out of your system. Good luck and all the best to you.
  4. MisterD

    MisterD Senior Don Juan

    Dec 29, 2011
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    I look at my previous failures with women as a good thing. It showed me the benefits of being single. I see all these kids my age getting involved in serious relationships and I feel they're definitely missing out on some fun.

    Before, I was single, not by choice, but because I wasn't successful. Now I'm single because I want to be.

    My thing is, you can't compare yourself to others. You can't say oh most people had this many partners when I was this age, so now i want to make up for lost time.

    Forget about the pu$$y you missed in the past, focus on getting quality pu$$y now. Quality over quantity
  5. Mike32ct

    Mike32ct Master Don Juan

    Oct 22, 2007
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    Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
    I can sort of relate. I got minimal attention from girls in my teens and even up through late 20s. Didn't get a kiss until 27 and sex until 28.

    So am I overcompensating for my past? Absolutely.

    I don't even get THAT much pleasure out of sex. I mean I like it, but it's more for ego and intimacy with someone than trying to get off.

    Just to be clear. It's NOT some kind of revenge towards women. I have no hard feelings towards them. It's more making up for lost time and lost opportunities and building confidence.

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