I Dumped My GF Today On Her Birthday

[dude99]

Starting to experience some clarity over the whole situation..

I defo did the right thing dumping her, as that level of disrespect is not forgiveable.

Also i am seeing now, there was lots of other red flags that i did not pick up on, clear signs that this woman was not a good candidate for a LTR.

And her IL was up and down in the relationship.


The problem i have now is, i am getting two or three whatsapp messages off her everyday.. this has been going on for around two weeks now.

I read some of her earlier messages.. a week ago

She was not trying to get back with me, just asking where she can send my things etc.. and sending random pics

I have not bothered to read her current messages.. at what point do i block her on whatsapp? I am worried, that if i block her, i will come across as bieng butt hurt?

But then i also know i have to go full NC and move on

You block her now. It wont come across as being but hurt. It says "woman im done with you and you cant take a hint so ive taken new measures."

The reason she wont go away is because you have an inflexible stubborn mule headed woman in her who wants to WIN. Not fix things. Win. She sees this battle (or lack of one) with you as a challenge that she must win. How do you win? Dont play. You've already won when you dont engage with her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You block her now. It wont come across as being but hurt. It says "woman im done with you and you cant take a hint so ive taken new measures."

The reason she wont go away is because you have an inflexible stubborn mule headed woman in her who wants to WIN. Not fix things. Win. She sees this battle (or lack of one) with you as a challenge that she must win. How do you win? Dont play. You've already won when you dont engage with her.

This is the perfect time to focus on your goals. Any time you catch thoughts her her and trying to fix it in your mind, you need to be focused and working on your goals and yourself instead. She was an albatross in your life. It's weight, it slows you, it increases doubt, increases friction.

 

[dude99]

This is the perfect time to focus on your goals. Any time you catch thoughts her her and trying to fix it in your mind, you need to be focused and working on your goals and yourself instead. She was an albatross in your life. It's weight, it slows you, it increases doubt, increases friction.

Agreed.

 

[soulforge]

"Clearly the woman was not a good candidate"

Sir, YOU are not the right candidate for any woman right now. You are too too weak and you were stinking of it while you was around her.

The sooner you realise that it's you that has messed the relationship up the sooner you'll be able to recover and become a better version of yourself. You are the man. You lead. You set the rules. You dominate. You clearly failed at this hence the disrespect in the relationship. She is still disrespecting you so she clearly knows about your needy behaviour and that you are still lame enough to make her your centre of life.

Do yourself a favour and stop commenting on here or on bodybuilding misc.

You've had enough support. Be a man and take it on the chin. Work it out yourself from here.

"Clearly the woman was not a good candidate"

Sir, YOU are not the right candidate for any woman right now. You are too too weak and you were stinking of it while you was around her.

The sooner you realise that it's you that has messed the relationship up the sooner you'll be able to recover and become a better version of yourself. You are the man. You lead. You set the rules. You dominate. You clearly failed at this hence the disrespect in the relationship. She is still disrespecting you so she clearly knows about your needy behaviour and that you are still lame enough to make her your centre of life.

Do yourself a favour and stop commenting on here or on bodybuilding misc.

You've had enough support. Be a man and take it on the chin. Work it out yourself from here.

"Clearly the woman was not a good candidate"

Sir, YOU are not the right candidate for any woman right now. You are too too weak and you were stinking of it while you was around her.

The sooner you realise that it's you that has messed the relationship up the sooner you'll be able to recover and become a better version of yourself. You are the man. You lead. You set the rules. You dominate. You clearly failed at this hence the disrespect in the relationship. She is still disrespecting you so she clearly knows about your needy behaviour and that you are still lame enough to make her your centre of life.

Do yourself a favour and stop commenting on here or on bodybuilding misc.

You've had enough support. Be a man and take it on the chin. Work it out yourself from here.

Lol thats where you are wrong dude.. i was always the dominant one in the relationship.. the first time she she disrespected me, i soft nexted her..

There was two ocassions where she spoke out of term with me, and i made it clear, i won't put up with that kinda chit..

This time round she went one step too far... so i dropped her ass...

But yes i agree with you.. i just need to focus on myself and move on from this chit... hit the gym hard, and worry about woman another time.

Thanx for the support guys!

 

[Rainman4707]

I wonder if he got back together with her??

Have'nt heard from him in a while.

 

[Visionist]

This is a key point that can be linked with Desdinova's thread about girls blocking on Facebook. You dumped her, she might want to "win" by taking you back and then dumping you.

My recent oneitis played this game. I avoided her requests to hang out "as friends" in a group but as luck would have it, we all ran into each other one evening and I tried getting closure. Now she laughs at me in an online group whilst f**king my friend.

Moral; closure is one sided.

 

[zinc4]

46 years old drunk at bars...girls nights out???!!! WTF......what an old washed up trashy woman.

OP....thus should be bottom of the barrel plate material at best.

Please don't EVER refer to yourself as a DJ.

If she pulled that stunt on me in front of her friend I would have threatened to end both of their lives right there on the spot. My blood is boiling from simply even reading your OP, much less being in that position myself. No one should ever disrespect you to that level and get off that easy.

If u ever succumb and contact her again, go ahead and chop your balls off.

And to the people saying you are insecure, yeah you are. But if I'm in a relationship, my gf goes for girls night out at bars and she's dumped immediately. That **** ain't cool.

 

[Rainman4707]

Lol thats where you are wrong dude.. i was always the dominant one in the relationship.. the first time she she disrespected me, i soft nexted her..

There was two ocassions where she spoke out of term with me, and i made it clear, i won't put up with that kinda chit..

This time round she went one step too far... so i dropped her ass...

But yes i agree with you.. i just need to focus on myself and move on from this chit... hit the gym hard, and worry about woman another time.

Thanx for the support guys!

My gut tells me that i should finish my GF, but i fear that i'm making a mistake. I dont know if fear is the right
word. What i mean is i.e i end things with her & then regret it six months down the line when i realise that she was great for
me.
Don juans might say "you need to end things because she has had a bad childhood. Yes they are probably right, but then you come
across a thread six month later from one of the most experienced don juans saying " my life is great. I was gonna dump my GF because she had a bad childhood,
but I decided against it & things have turned out great."

 

[lizardking82]

My gut tells me that i should finish my GF, but i fear that i'm making a mistake. I dont know if fear is the right
word. What i mean is i.e i end things with her & then regret it six months down the line when i realise that she was great for
me.
Don juans might say "you need to end things because she has had a bad childhood. Yes they are probably right, but then you come
across a thread six month later from one of the most experienced don juans saying " my life is great. I was gonna dump my GF because she had a bad childhood,
but I decided against it & things have turned out great."

What is your gut feeling telling you? What are the reasons you feel like ending things with your girlfriend?

 

[Rainman4707]

What is your gut feeling telling you? What are the reasons you feel like ending things with your girlfriend?

Phewww....long story man. My gut I telling me that she has a bad past & that might resurface in the future. That she is damaged.

I'm definatley not sure that I want to end things. We are great for each other.

 

[lizardking82]

Phewww....long story man. My gut I telling me that she has a bad past & that might resurface in the future. That she is damaged.

I'm definatley not sure that I want to end things. We are great for each other.

Just remember this: your gut feeling is rarely wrong. You rationalizing stuff doesn't make your gut feeling wrong. Do you wanna expand on the problems you are feeling?

 

[Rainman4707]

She had a rough upbringing. A few people very close to her betrayed her trust.

Off the top of my head I would say, she is lazy, sleeps a lot, dose'nt work, down & depressed...she blaims that on hormones which is something i'm going to discuss on here in the not to distant future. A lot of her problems...she blaims on hormones & says because she is my first LTR I don't have experience of this. She says most girls do get down & depressed a LOT through hormones. I think, yes women will get down because of hormones, but it seems it happens to often with her. If women get down as much as her because of hormones then womens lifes suck. I see other women fresh, going out enjoying life, not sat at home like my GF complaining that she's down because of hormones.

 

[lizardking82]

She had a rough upbringing. A few people very close to her betrayed her trust.

Off the top of my head I would say, she is lazy, sleeps a lot, dose'nt work, down & depressed...she blaims that on hormones which is something i'm going to discuss on here in the not to distant future. A lot of her problems...she blaims on hormones & says because she is my first LTR I don't have experience of this. She says most girls do get down & depressed a LOT through hormones. I think, yes women will get down because of hormones, but it seems it happens to often with her. If women get down as much as her because of hormones then womens lifes suck. I see other women fresh, going out enjoying life, not sat at home like my GF complaining that she's down because of hormones.

Off the top of my head: she will not change this behaviour unless she sees that not changing it will have consequences. You apparently do not like her behaviour, but somehow you are afraid of losing the relationship if you say or do anything about it. The thing is, she seems to be a mostly negative person because she has unresolved issues with herself, but she is affecting you as well.

Do not put up with it. As said on SS many times, it is not your job to fix her problems. She should be looking for solutions to her feelings and thoughts, not saying "it's down to hormones". That is bullshajt. Hormones can temporarily affect you, but not all the time. I think she keeps on doing nothing to change the situation because you don't act on it. Start getting a bit distant to her and you will see her bouncing off the wheels. Common, man, you have every right to be with a person that is positive and outgoing. But I guess you also kinda think, deep inside, that this is the type of relationship you deserve.

 

[djthiago1]

Almost became a cuck ehn

 

[Rainman4707]

Off the top of my head: she will not change this behaviour unless she sees that not changing it will have consequences. You apparently do not like her behaviour, but somehow you are afraid of losing the relationship if you say or do anything about it. The thing is, she seems to be a mostly negative person because she has unresolved issues with herself, but she is affecting you as well.

Do not put up with it. As said on SS many times, it is not your job to fix her problems. She should be looking for solutions to her feelings and thoughts, not saying "it's down to hormones". That is bullshajt. Hormones can temporarily affect you, but not all the time. I think she keeps on doing nothing to change the situation because you don't act on it. Start getting a bit distant to her and you will see her bouncing off the wheels. Common, man, you have every right to be with a person that is positive and outgoing. But I guess you also kinda think, deep inside, that this is the type of relationship you deserve.

Thanks for the feedback I tell her a LOT that i'm not happy about her complaing. Her response is that all girls get fu*ked up by hormones.

You're partly right about me thinking I deserve this relationship. My thoughts are that I'm the best catch a woman can get. I suppose don't have the best lifestyle though because I work mostly nights & weekends.

 

[lizardking82]

Thanks for the feedback I tell her a LOT that i'm not happy about her complaing. Her response is that all girls get fu*ked up by hormones.

You're partly right about me thinking I deserve this relationship. My thoughts are that I'm the best catch a woman can get. I suppose don't have the best lifestyle though because I work mostly nights & weekends.

Stop telling her, man. Start showing her you are unhappy. You cannot tell her you're unhappy and then continue like everything's alright. Take a stand. Show her you're unhappy. How? Go cold, stop talking to her for a couple of days. Right now, this chick probably thinks "yeah, yeah, that's right, he's unhappy, but he won't do a thing about it so I will keep up with this shajt". Trust me, this is exactly one of the things I did wrong in my relationship and it will end up in a point where you will one day get so pissed off of all of her **** and will explode in her face and then she will leave you, blaming you and telling you **** like "you're angry, we are not right for each other". Brother, take a stand, it is the only thing that could get her on her feet again and could save your relationship.

 

[Milano]

Thanks for the feedback I tell her a LOT that i'm not happy about her complaing. Her response is that all girls get fu*ked up by hormones.

You're partly right about me thinking I deserve this relationship. My thoughts are that I'm the best catch a woman can get. I suppose don't have the best lifestyle though because I work mostly nights & weekends.

My single mom gf was like this, always an excuse. What is the outcome? YOUR PROBLEM every time, thats the sad part. If she has problems they become your problems, so your gut feeling is always right and it will only grow with this one.

If I was a virgin way up in my twenties and it caused me all kinds of mental problems, should I tell my girlfriend and blame that unfortunate event for my mood swings etc? Probably not very smart lol, but girls have higher value cause of their holes so they dont have to learn how to stop crying like little girls because we men are so desperate for them anyway so they get away with it. In here we try to be red pill, if she is damaged she will damage you. It hurts cause you love her but its a great life lesson learned the hard way like all of them you know

 

[Manofrefinedtastes]

I won't lie.. its hurting me that i had to dump her.. but..

I just cannot see anyway way back with her, especialy over that level of disrespect.

If i got back with her now, she would walk all over me.. i was burning with anger the way i was treated last night

It was more than disrespect; she and her girl friend had other **** for her to sample. The non too subtle plan to keep you from the club was them short shrifting you out of a relationship; they wanted for her to meet some new blokes, and your being along would interfere.

Her blowing up your phone was her trying to get validation, and she doesn't care for you anymore. She just wants a way to turn the narrative around so she can feel that she dumped you.

 

[skinnyguy]

Don't date women over 25. Problem solved.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

I'm reading this post for the first time and I'm pleased to see that the OP did not went with her. She was obviously making head wings to dump you later on, but when you pulled the trigger first her pride was burning. If you had taken her back she would have dumped you later on.