How many dates before an invite to your place?

[jophil28]

THIS IS WRONG. A woman does NOT become vested in you with sex. SHE DOES WITH EMOTIONS AND TIME. If you have sex with a woman early, she will get rid of you easier.
.

I agree with this, mostly.

I have observed that most women do like to wait until certain switches are flipped to "on" in their heads.. It seems that the old belief that having sex quickly as a giveaway sign of slvttyness is still present..
Secondly, if you screw a woman on the first date (or even second) you WILL be accused of only "wanting her for sex" the first time you and she get in an argument. Even though she may have been a willing and eager participant at the time, she will reframe the event to create blame and deny accountability for herself.
Women's compulsive need to separate consequences from their own behavior is as strong as ever.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I agree with this, mostly.

I have observed that most women do like to wait until certain switches are flipped to "on" in their heads.. It seems that the old belief that having sex quickly as a giveaway sign of slvttyness is still present..
Secondly, if you screw a woman on the first date (or even second) you WILL be accused of only "wanting her for sex" the first time you and she get in an argument. Even though she may have been a willing and eager participant at the time, she will reframe the event to create blame and deny accountability for herself.
Women's compulsive need to separate consequences from their own behavior is as strong as ever.

This is true to the fullest!!! I have experienced this a well. I love how they can switch the blame at the drop of a hat.

 

[quicklearner]

I agree with this, mostly.

I have observed that most women do like to wait until certain switches are flipped to "on" in their heads.. It seems that the old belief that having sex quickly as a giveaway sign of slvttyness is still present....

____

Tihash,

As jophil28 stated, you can invite a women once or 100 times. She will only sleep with you once you have demonstrated some potential/partnership/qualities or other highlights that she espouses

Although this usually happens between 3-5 dates, don't use some arbitrary cutoffs. Don't be so focused on starting a marathon sex sessions, it may cloud your judgement. Use the time that she is making you wait to evaluate her qualities as well.

 

[Hemingway]

This is a true story: my GF's best friend introduced me to her new beau and we talked a little and I thought he was a very cool guy. Later she turned to my GF and I overheard her say, "this is our third date and I like him but there must be something wrong with him because he hasn't made a pass at me yet." I learned that women like to be asked. They may not say yes, but they want to know you have a libido and a certain amount of testosterone flowing in your scrotum.

I point to an area about a half mile away and tell them that's where I live. About half the time we end up there and then it's on.

I like this because you don't have to ask "do you want to come back to my place?" you just take a long walk on the beach and then go to your place, unlock the door, and if there is any rapport established at all, she'll go in.

 

[Jitterbug]

Asap. I always try to arrange the logistics in a way that it'd be convenient to drop by my place or hers. Doesn't matter what date number it is.

I learned that women like to be asked. They may not say yes, but they want to know you have a libido and a certain amount of testosterone flowing in your scrotum.

Yup. If the lady fakes some indignation at me being interested in sex, I counter with something like "in my culture, it's considered bad manners if a man does not show his appreciation towards a beautiful woman". And smile.

 

[jonwon]

THIS IS WRONG. A woman does NOT become vested in you with sex. SHE DOES WITH EMOTIONS AND TIME. If you have sex with a woman early, she will get rid of you easier. In fact, you have a better chance of being vested in HER than she is in to you, especially if she gives it to you good. To her, it's just sex. The way to capture a woman's heart is not to lay them quick, but to make them anticipate and FEEL something EMOTIONALY. Don't listen to this (if you want a girlfriend). Women love the anticipation. If you just want to hit and run and not make her fall in love with you, then yes, the quicker the better to get what you want and leave.

My experiances prove otherwise.

Case in point my current GF made her last BF wait 3 months, I slept with her the same night I met her - I've been seeing her 3+ years to date.

Likewise for other girls.

Make her fall in love with you? Sounds like some romantacised bull-cra* to me, i'd lay off the mills and boons.

Also the point about women think your only after them for sex? What's the problem? Just means she has to work a little bit more for you to see her as something more than a fcuk toy.

There is also a massive difference than coming across as an horn dog, who just wants to pump and dump - i.e labelled as just wanting her for sex (yeh she will run a mile) - but if your a guy who has the power to get a women sexually in the mood without being a cheesy sex pest, why wait for a few days or more due to romanticised notion?

Its bull-cra*.

I stand by my point, the quicker you fuc* her, the more chance you have at keeping her. Women become invested, because they attribute so much to the act of sex, they have to rationize it to themselves - "I had sex with him because I must really like him" - Also when it comes to friends - "why did you sleep with him", you can bet your cash in your pocket, the reason why she slept with you, is all positive, she's not going to say "I slept with him because he was dull and boring", No what she is going to do is big you up, she will rationalize the blip as her unable to contain her emotions under your constant onslaught of male power.

I've had tons of experiance - Sleep with them if the opportunity presents itself, if the girl is putting out or showing signs to progress, than progress, dont hold back due to some bull-shi* notion.

If you can escalate on the first night, do it.

Also no doubt shaming language will come out now! She must be a slu*, well that makes every girl a slu*, because i've yet to meet a girl who hasn't had a one night stand yet, if they tell you different they are lying.

 

[squirrels]

I agree with this, mostly.

I have observed that most women do like to wait until certain switches are flipped to "on" in their heads.. It seems that the old belief that having sex quickly as a giveaway sign of slvttyness is still present..
Secondly, if you screw a woman on the first date (or even second) you WILL be accused of only "wanting her for sex" the first time you and she get in an argument. Even though she may have been a willing and eager participant at the time, she will reframe the event to create blame and deny accountability for herself.
Women's compulsive need to separate consequences from their own behavior is as strong as ever.

Why is "slvt" still such a dirty word?

I miss the sexual revolution, man. Now that we're in full "backlash" from it, women have been driven nearly into madness by constant shaming and derision for displaying their sexuality.

It's really a mess...because you're in a situation where women withhold so much, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally, until you're in a "committed relationship". Then they just dump it all on you at once...and you find that the girl you married isn't really who she was "pretending" to be all through the courtship.

They show nothing of themselves throughout the courting process. It leaves us guys to "guess" about how this girl feels about this or that, what are her likes, her dislikes, her passions. How will she feel about sex? How will she feel about raising kids? How will she feel about your career? Her career? How does she manage money? How does she manage her health? What's her mental state?

We're left to GUESS because women have been shamed into HIDING everything about themselves until a wedding ring comes into play. So we as men take our "best guess", in the hopes that once we "tie the knot", we'll finally be allowed to open the box and find exactly what we had expected and hoped was in there all along.

Then way too often, we find that the girl we married is NOT the girl we loved. We were deceived by false hope...we saw what we wanted to see, mainly because the girl had been TRAINED not to show us ANYTHING. At best, NOTHING is what's there. At worst, you end up opening a Pandora's box.

That's why I stopped dating. I'm tired of getting intimate with people who aren't honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Call me Holden Caufield, but most women these days are frauds and fakes. VERY clever marketing, surrounding a product certain to disappoint.

And they wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

Say what you want about me...at least I'm honest.

I tell the truth...even when I lie. -Tony Montana

 

[lorekeeper]

Maybe I did it wrong, but the last girl I met through the group I invited over to my place for dinner the first time (Come over to my place, I'll cook up some food, you bring drinks and desert) she reschedualed because "I'm not the type of gal to buy something and I don't have any time to bake today"

3rd girl I've invited over to my place and cooked for. It went "meh" despite the steaks burning and both of us passing out on the couch.

 

[jonwon]

Maybe I did it wrong, but the last girl I met through the group I invited over to my place for dinner the first time (Come over to my place, I'll cook up some food, you bring drinks and desert) she reschedualed because "I'm not the type of gal to buy something and I don't have any time to bake today"

3rd girl I've invited over to my place and cooked for. It went "meh" despite the steaks burning and both of us passing out on the couch.

You cant just invite a girl over and expect an outcome, just off the bat.

You have to work up to it, escalate.

I understand where people are coming from if they simply ask the chick back to his pad without doing any ground work, expecting her to simply comply, run in the house, run upstairs, whilst peeling her panties off and jump on the bed legs akimbo.

When you get a chick back it can lead to many other things you have to do.

For example you have to set the mood, poor the wine, put a good film on - or reach comfort with her, slowly escalate the interaction, you may get token resistance.

This is after you've managed to get her back, before than you will have to make her comfortable enough for her to come back. You have to feed women a bit of BS to come back. You have have repoir going on, hence if and when I meet a chick, i've most probably spent a good hour or 3, sexing her up - dancing with her, chatting to her, kissing her - and seeing how she reciprocates - if she shows signs to progress, you progress.

You cant just state out flatly "let's head to mine", when all you've done is taken her name and she's told you the job she does. It can be done the same night, or the first date, the guy just needs to know how to progress. to esculate the situation.

If it doesn't happen the first date, if the guy knows what he is doing it can be easy to persuade her to come back to yours the second night, i.e one date, the second is your place hook-up.

The 'i'm not that type of girl' - also is a girl, who has most probably fuc*ed some stud on holiday, so infact she is that type of girl, you've just failed to get it out of her. And that's pritty much true for any girl who is sexually active.

When I get a chick back - I light candles, clean the house, make sure she thinks I look after myself, even if i've slobbed it up for the past week.

Buy the wine, red and white - Ask her prior for her taste in food - make a dish I can make or order in food, get a film we both like - but a film is a filler.

When the film is on, i'll light the candles, poor her some wine - Whilst we sit watching the wine, i'll probably gently pull her towards me, for a cuddle - if she resists, i'll wait 10-15 minutes - till the wine starts to kick in. When she's is up close, i'll escalate, kino her, see how she responds, if she gives no resistance, i'll probably move round to cup her breasts, or kiss her ear, or move in for the kiss - in short, advance, and be leading - I've yet to meet or sleep with a women who is aggressive in wanting to fu**, they all need some form of escalation, they all need to be lead in some manner, to the bedroom, in varying stages of progress.

 

[Lexington]

There's no set time frame. You just have to get a feel for how into you the girl is. Some girls will come home with you and fvck you on the first date. In fact, you don't even have to go on dates to get a girl in the sack....it saves a lot of money too.

Basically, if you're at the point where you can put your arm around a girl's waist without her objecting or you can stroke her hair, she's ready to come over to your place. This kino escalation can take place over a matter of weeks or even a matter of minutes.

Basically you just have to gauge her comfort level. If it's high enough, she's ready. There are no hard and fast rules.

 

[Zarky]

Guys, I would suggest being very wary of taking advice from people who are not currently dating women or have obvious bitterness toward them or who make blanket statements about women as if they are all exactly the same.

It's like taking investment advice from someone who is going bankrupt.

 

[horaholic]

True. Its a case by case thing, but if you play your cards right, and she is responding well, you can invite them over first date.

 

[Drum&Bass]

They show nothing of themselves throughout the courting process. It leaves us guys to "guess" about how this girl feels about this or that, what are her likes, her dislikes, her passions. How will she feel about sex? How will she feel about raising kids? How will she feel about your career? Her career? How does she manage money? How does she manage her health? What's her mental state?

We're left to GUESS because women have been shamed into HIDING everything about themselves until a wedding ring comes into play. So we as men take our "best guess", in the hopes that once we "tie the knot", we'll finally be allowed to open the box and find exactly what we had expected and hoped was in there all along.

Then way too often, we find that the girl we married is NOT the girl we loved. We were deceived by false hope...we saw what we wanted to see, mainly because the girl had been TRAINED not to show us ANYTHING. At best, NOTHING is what's there. At worst, you end up opening a Pandora's box.

That's why I stopped dating. I'm tired of getting intimate with people who aren't honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Call me Holden Caufield, but most women these days are frauds and fakes. VERY clever marketing, surrounding a product certain to disappoint.

And they wonder why the divorce rate is so high.

Say what you want about me...at least I'm honest.

Only insecure, weak fools find themselves in situations like this.

A woman should be comfortable revealing her true nature to a man and a man should be strong enough to learn about her urges, desires and her history without negatively passing judgement.

Insecure men seek insecure women who seek insecure men only to be disappointed by each other.

Strong men get most any woman they want and decide the future of both parties.

 

[cedd]

I'm so hot they cannot wait 'til the second date

take her to you place when you think its the right time. It depends of how you met her and date her. If youre the direct style, stick with it and ask her to come over.

cheers

 

[jonwon]

Another tip.

Always try to keep a bottle or two or red wine in prior to hitting the town.

It's a perfect excuse to invite a girl back for more drinks when the night is over, sometimes people want to keep going especcially if it's a weekend and they dont have work the next day.

Simply state "I've got some wine back at my place, why dont we head back, you can help me finish it off" - No doubt if she is drinking, a few more glasses of wine wont hurt in helping to put her in the mood.

 

[Colossus]

If you can escalate on the first night, do it......because i've yet to meet a girl who hasn't had a one night stand yet, if they tell you different they are lying.

'Tis true.

Once a guy can accept the truth that he will never know the full extent of a girl's sexual past (and why would you want to), and they have ALL had indiscretions that they wont admit (one-nighters, threesomes, swinging, etc), life will be so much easier for him. Our instinct is to fight it because we have been told by women all our lives that they are chaste by nature. Further, we think that if they do any of the kinky things we have done ourselves that they must be hors. As a man you gotta grow out of that.

And about the women falling in love thing; it's hard to compartmentalize all female behavior into one little axiom because women are--by nature--complex and contradictory. If you try too hard to understand them you are just going down a rabbit hole, because what you find will not make sense. You'll drive yourself mad and probably end up hating them.

Having said that---sex and emotion are rarely mutually exclusive for women. She is far more likely to "fall" for you if you sex her early on rather than months down the road. As a man, that is your job. Always be escalating, always be pushing the envelope. Because they wont.

 

[Jules Verne]

Only insecure, weak fools find themselves in situations like this.

A woman should be comfortable revealing her true nature to a man and a man should be strong enough to learn about her urges, desires and her history without negatively passing judgement.

Insecure men seek insecure women who seek insecure men only to be disappointed by each other.

Strong men get most any woman they want and decide the future of both parties.

I don't know whether calling out on people with your argument like that constitutes strength. I understand that you are a body builder and I am sure it played a role in your confidence. But your statement is typed as if you were the sole judge of the topic at hand and you have the absolute authority. Almost like a **** measuring contest.

Just saying. It is da internetz after all.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Certain posts strike deep emotions in me. The harshness of my posts are just indicators of how passionate i feel about the ideas being exchanged.

The bottom line is my posts are the same as everyones else's....Just another point of view that will hopefully lead to a better approach in certain situation and/or clarity and perspective that will have a positive effect on future actions.

 

[Jules Verne]

I have learned from your previous posts, so it's all good.

I simply wanted clarification.

 

[Duffdog]

THIS IS WRONG. A woman does NOT become vested in you with sex. SHE DOES WITH EMOTIONS AND TIME. If you have sex with a woman early, she will get rid of you easier. In fact, you have a better chance of being vested in HER than she is in to you, especially if she gives it to you good. To her, it's just sex. The way to capture a woman's heart is not to lay them quick, but to make them anticipate and FEEL something EMOTIONALY. Don't listen to this (if you want a girlfriend). Women love the anticipation. If you just want to hit and run and not make her fall in love with you, then yes, the quicker the better to get what you want and leave.

No... you are wrong. And sort of gay, but thats besides the point. Pretty much all hot girls want to know how you are in bed from the 1st moment they talk to you.

Here is how it really works in my world: Girls are willing to go out with me on the first date for one reason...that is to see if I am good in bed with them. If I am good, they answer my phone calls and want to spend more time with me. If I am bad, they do not. The last 30 girls I met simply expected to be having sex with me by 3am on our first date. The caveat is that this only works for hot girls. I don't really remember anything about average chics or normal chics from when I was younger. But consider this: If you were a hot girl and could have anything you wanted, what would you want? Most hot girls have already been nailed by 80+ guys before you go to her-- so they already have an idea what they like. First, the girls pick out the guys who are what they want to look at, then the guys who are good in bed, then after going through that, they look for other things like money, status, etc. and finally, after all the other prerequisites have been satisfied, they look for a connection, whatever the hell that means. BUT, it does not go the other way (as everyone on this forum has discovered) You cannot appeal to a girls emotional side until you satisfy her physical urges first. If you try, you will be one of the millions of guys who "has a girlfriend" that likes to sleep with other guys when he's not around...