How can you tell if you're a "back up" guy and is this even a bad thing?

[otr4]

I've been seeing this girl on and off again for over a month now. I've written a few posts about this particular girl over the past few weeks and I'm still trying to figure out what is going on. When we hang out, we have a really good time and she seems really into me in both a mental and sexual way. She has given me all kinds of signs that she wants to f*** and is blatant about her sexual desires. The thing is, our time together is few and far between. I havn't hung out with this girl for over two weeks and I even stopped trying to keep in contact. Well, she just called me randomly at 2 o'clock this morning and just said she was thinking of me and wanted to talk. I didn't talk with her for long, but we made plans to get togehter at the end of the week.
The thing is, I can't tell if she just calls me when she is possibly pissed off at some other guy (guys?) or is bored, or what. I know she has a bunch of other guys after her a**. I have no idea why we don't hang out more often. She flaked out on me ONCE and that was just about enough to make me want to end it with this girl. However, this girl is really cool and hot and I still want to see her. How can I tell if I'm a "back up" guy? And also, is being the back up guy such a bad thing? What do you guys think?

 

[Bill]

When you end up being her back up plan, don't expect much.

You said you stopped trying to keep in contact: that may be the reason for the 2am phone call. She foresaw she would lose your attention, and just in case the other guys did the same or flaked out she called you to secure herself (branch availability in the everlasting tree of dating and mating, not sure the exact name of the theory).

I'd be interested to know if she flakes out your getting together at the end of the week; keep us posted.
Peace.

 

[Seraph]

Best way to remove all doubt is to try and kiss her the next time you meet up with her. No sense in mulling over whether or not you're the back-up guy, because you deserve better. Don't settle for being a back-up guy, either come to terms with her the next time you meet (either you are her main or you two just become FWB) or next her ass. Thinking about this too much will only cause you grief.

 

[Player_Supreme]

If you need to ask the question then there is your answer!

For her to call you at 2am and for you to even pick up the phone....SSSSSLLLLLLAAAAAPPPPP!!!! You've just been bytch slapped. How dare she call you at 2am!!! She must know you ain't got a dam thing going on for you in your life to call at that time in the morning...and don't bother saying "it's no big deal to me" cause that's desperate.

Who the fawk cares if she is cool and hot...she isn't into you! If she was then she would be ringing your phone every day!

Fella's this shyt isn't that hard to figure out! Come on don't you guys read your bible???

Your the back up what is the word.....emotional tampoon that's all you are fella.

If you like being her douche bag then more power too ya!

If you want a ton of women like her then do the boot camp exercises.

This post is another example of people not reading Crazy Kids sticky at the top.

Read your bible...do the boot camp.

you will be able to get women...

just do the work!

 

[otr4]

Hey "Player_Supreme"--
I think your respose to my question is a result of not knowing the whole story about this girl. I have read the bible--give me a break!! A "read the bible" response seems to always be the answer when no one can come up with a better solution. First off, I've told this girl in the past that she could call me any time in the evening because I stay up late. Personally, I think the fact that she called me up so late is an indication that she is comfortable with me and that she listened to what I told her she could do. How is this a "bytch slap?" Also, I disagree with the fact that she would be "ringing my phone" and calling everyday if she was really into me. Girls don't usually call. They wait for the guy to call. I think her not calling was a result of the fact that she was waiting to see if I would call her. Also, the last time we hung out, she had really wanted to f***, but I bailed because I just wasn't feeling it at the time for a number of reasons and I think this either confused her or pissed her off.
Also, in response to Seraph saying I should try to kiss her, I kiss her all the time when were together. Sometimes she will just slap my a** for no reason, or start going off about how all she wants to do is f***. I am not in the "friends" zone here. This girl is too into sex to spend time hanging out with guys she's not into.
If the back up guy can still get sex, is he still the back up guy? I'm not after this girl for a LTR, just for fun. Thoughts??

 

[Knicknack]

most guys NEXT if they haven't fvcked by the 3rd date. you need to start thinking about this...

 

[otr4]

Knicknack--
I know. I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at, but I live by this same principle. But I'M THE ONE who hasn't f***** her--she has tryed to initiate sex with me already the last time we hung out. If we hang out this weekend, this will be our fourth "date" and I plan on screwing her brains out. Enough said. I realize I made a mistake not screwing her the last time we hung out, but that's in the past and now she's contacted me again despite my errors.

 

[Monkey]

What was the question again?

Originally posted by otr4
I have no idea why we don't hang out more often.

All you can do, if you really want this girl, is to ask her out more often, if she actually wants to spend time with you and on your terms then you'll be able to gauge her interest level much better than at present.

 

[otr4]

Does anyone else have any suggestions? I need to know soon!

 

[Monkey]

Originally posted by otr4
Does anyone else have any suggestions? I need to know soon!

What answer do you want to hear?

That we can magically see into her head and tell you if she sees you as a potential boyfriend or not?? It can't be done.

As I said, ask her out more often and see how she reacts, theres no other way to find out.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

If she sleeps with her boyfriend, and asks if you want to see the video.

 

[NatureGuy]

From what you've described, I'd say she
likes you alot. She may have another
interest, or not, it's hard to tell.
But I would say she's in a similar position
to you - wondering what her status is
with you. (You haven't called her for
two weeks, correct?)
When you see her Friday, have fun like
you usually do, but be sure to heat things
up toward the end.
And if you're interested in her, call her
at least once a week.