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FR: Got given the cheek. Now what?

Discussion in 'Don Juan Discussion' started by d0g, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. d0g

    d0g Don Juan

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    Hi guys,

    This was date #2 with "Anna". The first date was to a free concert, and at the end of that date, I accompanied her home, and gave her a hug goodnight -- nothing more, since I didn't build any attraction during the evening.

    So tonight was our first real date; I took her out to drinks in town. We went to a couple of bars, having a beer at each, and then went back to my place (which she happily agreed to) and had a bottle of wine.

    We sat down on the couch in my living room, and drank the wine. However, she never made it easy for me to touch her, and I'm still really bad at pulling off kino when I'm not sure if there's interest, so I "absent mindedly" touched her shoulder a couple of times, but that's it. (Yes, I'm a p*ssy. I know.)

    I walked her back to her apartment. We hugged, chatted for another minute about what we're doing in the coming week, hugged again, and I went in for a kiss and got given the cheek.

    #1: F*ck. It seems like I've screwed up again. Between dates #1 and #2 (a week apart) she was contacting me, asking how things were going, etc. It seemed like she was interested, and somehow I've messed up a good thing. Again.

    #2: She's going away from Wednesday until Sunday. I have three choices: a.) cut my losses, and NEXT this girl; b.) invite her out for something between now and Wednesday; c.) wait for a week, and then invite her out for something the following week. What do you guys think?

    Cheers,
    d0g
     
  2. Neon Owl

    Neon Owl Senior Don Juan

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    d) Invite her out to the cinema or something then back to your place before wednesday and go caveman on her. Start kino at the beginning of the date and kiss her at some point before going back home. You don't need her permission, just wait for a break in the conversation and keep looking her in the eyes...this will probably make her smile shyly or giggle and just say "give me a kiss" and lean in and do it man.
    Stop looking for IOIs and just go for it.
     
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  3. Flakey_Woman_Suck

    Flakey_Woman_Suck Don Juan

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    Agree. Just go for it. Do you think she likes you? Maybe she just isn't ready for kissing yet (does it matter anyway; important thing = invite her over).

    Watch a movie or something and sit next to her and just put your arm around her right from the bat. That way there'll be no awkward **** later on with fumbling your arm around her, just hold her close to you from the start. And then give her a kiss on the cheek somewhere during the movie and after that just start playing with her hair and go in for the kiss. Yes, your heart starts pounding double four time and you'll be sitting there thinking: ''Now!? Or now!? Wait.. no. ****, moment lost. Now!?'', but eventually you'll bring up the courage to do it.
     
  4. Igetit!

    Igetit! Moderator

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    That's the ironic part about the thread.....she WAS GIVING HIM IOIs,but he didn't see them.

    He was looking for specific signs of interests (what exactly,I don't know),but she was giving them in other ways. Her IOIs were.....


    1: Going on the 2nd date....and most of all.....
    2: GOING BACK TO HIS HOUSE on that second date.


    She went back to his house....after only 2 dates. Uhhh....what the hell other kind of IOI do you need????? And if that wasn't enough,she sat on the couch with him AND drunk wine.


    ALL THAT.....and all he did was touch her on the shoulder a few times.


    He said she didn't make it easy for him to touch her. Let's see.....


    She's on a SECOND DATE with you......
    ALONE with you at AT YOUR HOUSE.....
    sitting next to you on the couch......

    All that......and YOU STILL couldn't touch her. Ok....:rolleyes:



    I'm kinda curious about something you said. This thing right here.....


    I'm still really bad at pulling off kino when I'm not sure if there's interest


    You said you're bad at kino when you're not sure if there's interest. Ok.......what would she have had to do for you TO KNOW she was interested? If a second date and her "happily agreeing" to go back to your place wasn't IOI enough for you to make a move,what else would she have had to do?


    I know you're bummed about her giving you the cheek,but if you don't strike while the iron is hot,this kind of thing happens sometimes.


    We can't blame the women for EVERYTHING.



    If you get a 3rd date with this chick,dude,lol......you better make a move this time. None of that "shoulder touching". Come up from behind her,put your hands on her sides,and do a little light kissing on the sides of her neck.

    I'd honestly be SHOCKED if you got a 3rd date,but if you do,MAKE A MOVE.
     
  5. Flakey_Woman_Suck

    Flakey_Woman_Suck Don Juan

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    Jep, the dude Igetit is right. I just went on a second date as well, we watched The Big Lebowski (which in retrospect I really shouldn't have picked.. oh god.. how suited for making out when someones ear gets bitten off). At a certain point she looked at her watch and yawned. I was sitting with my arm around her the whole time. Those 2 things were a real alarm-bell going off for me: ''If you don't do something fast, you're gonna hate yourself for it later. She wants you to do something!''.

    And so I did. That's exactly what you should do on the third date. Remember that you'll feel like a pvssy later on if you don't do anything and: JUST GO FOR IT bro (if you can get that 3rd date) ! :)
     
  6. d0g

    d0g Don Juan

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    Alright, alright, alright! Sosuave is unanimous (for once!).

    I suppose it's obvious to everyone but me, but the new lesson I have here is: if a girl agrees to go back to your place for a drink, you'd better escalate -- if you don't, you'll get friend-zone-boxed as a p*ssy, and if you do, either you win or you lose, but at least you have a chance.

    I will report back after round #3 (or on my failure to secure a third round).

    One question I do still have is, if she was so interested, why didn't she reciprocate kino? The general rule on this board seems to be to touch her once or twice, and then wait for her to reciprocate before progressing. She never reciprocated, so I got cold feet. What's up with that?

    In shame,
    d0g
     
  7. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    Stay on her. Don't shame on yourself. You just need to be more aggressive and signal that you're willing to lose her.

    Invite her out this weekend for a Monday happy hour drinkdate. At the end of the date, escort her to where she parked and say "bye" in a flirtatious way and maintain eye contact. Kiss-close her. No tongue at the outset. Just a nice 3-second lip kiss. See what happens from there.

    If she turns her cheek again, kiss it slowly and sexily--and then immediately kiss the other cheek the same way and then direct your lips close to hers and mantain eye contact. If she doesn't give you a lip kiss I would politely and non-chalantly walk away and never call her again.
     
  8. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    Disregard that kino rule. Not all American women will kino you. There are actually still a lot of naive and sexually repressed women out there. They're conditioned to follow, not lead.

    Sounds to me like the girl doesn't have a lot of confidence in herself. A lot of hot girls don't have the wherewithal to touch. Whether this is true or not doesn't matter. You're the DJ...she's dated you 2x's...she even come to your freaking pad. The interest is there but fvuck that just kiss her if that's what you want. Do not wait for opportunity to reach out. You gofor it. She'll let you know how far you can go.
     
  9. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    You know this is good advice and I'll take it a step further. Text her an invite to your place. Skip the movie, dinner proposal. Just text her: "Hi. Really looking forward to cuddling up with you. Would you like to join me for pizza and wine and a movie this Wednesday night at 8 at my place?"

    You aim high and maybe she gives you the stars. Or maybe the moon. Either way, at least you'll know exactly how interested she is.
     
  10. VladPatton

    VladPatton Master Don Juan

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    I'm gonna go against the grain here. I would consider dropping her.

    She's at the dude's house and she's not making it easy at all for him. What should he do, date rape her??? Of course not. She's either a female AFC or mad shy, or lost interest.

    Let's be optimistic here. Try for date #3. My prediction is that she will not make it any easier for him. Hopefully I am wrong, so OP, go for it one more time, man. Let us know how you did, and good luck.
     
  11. Trump

    Trump Master Don Juan

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    I don't know bro, she knows you don't have much experience by not doing anything in dates one and two, especially since she was in your place and nothing happened. She now knows you lack smoothness and haven't been with many girls.

    If she does agree to date 3, you got to be Rico Suave and do alot of things to her, or she is wasting her time.
     
  12. d0g

    d0g Don Juan

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    That is a fantastic piece of advice. Thanks, Espi! I've never had to deal with the turned cheek before, so I was a little taken aback, but in the future I'll definitely give this tactic a try.

    As for the overall plan for this particular girl, I'll go with the movie+wine at my place offer, and see what happens.

    For some more context, I suspect this girl is quite shy. She's a rather intellectual type, and HB5, so probably doesn't get an enormous amount of attention from guys.

    Thanks again everyone,
    d0g
     
  13. d0g

    d0g Don Juan

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    What's the board's consensus on the wording for this text? Is going balls-to-the-wall like Espi suggests optimal? Or is a more limp approach like, "Hey Anna. Would you like to join me for movie and wine at my place this Monday or Tuesday, at 8?" more likely to yield good results (baring in mind how little I've escalated so far, I'm concerned an abrupt change in tone will sink me for sure, but maybe that's what I need here, a reset)?

    Thanks,
    d0g
     
  14. Naughty Ninja

    Naughty Ninja Banned

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    Anna, bring your sexxy self over tonight for unfinished business. d0g
     
  15. nroug7

    nroug7 Senior Don Juan

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    Actually, yes, this.
    You should hit off on a sexual tone from the start, makes this kind of thing less awkward.
    Plus, theres nothing like exchanging rather sexy messages between several plates at once ;)

    Which brings me to an off topic question, what do you guys do with girls who like to get a little dominant in sex, should I let that occur?
     
  16. d0g

    d0g Don Juan

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    NN, you're a master of boldness, that's for sure. This is so against everything she's seen from me so far (i.e. a very unaggressive dude) that I'm pretty sure she'd think someone stole my phone if she saw this!

    I am, as usual, torn between wanting to move things forward, and not wanting to come on too strong (or appear bold in text, but a p*ssy in person). I don't know what the right balance is.
     
  17. nroug7

    nroug7 Senior Don Juan

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    You need to be more upfront with your sexuality, make moves straight up
    Even if its against what you normally think.
    I know what you're thinking, your here to master the secrets of don juanism. But it's not actually like that.
    There are no secrets. There are techniques, but they remain so only until you learn to enjoy rejection and flirting with girls, cause underneath that cold exterior, they are beautiful creatures.
    Embrace the jerk for a while, become arrogant, then simmer down.
     
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  18. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    + 1 repped

    Quoted for truth

    and Amen.
     
  19. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    Just keep putting yourself out there.

    Approaches=rejections and number closes

    rejections=wisdom

    Number closes="dates"

    Dates=f-closes and good companionship

    It takes awhile to settle into knowing what's best FOR YOU. Not every guy can be "the jerk," and that's OK. The more experience you amass (and this situation you're going through now with Anna is terrific experience), the more confident and genuine you'll get at attracting women.

    There's no RIGHT balance. Throughout my 7 years on this site I notice that those who've been around awhile ultimately gravitate toward doing their own thing...but you have to be willing to experiment first and put yourself out there. You must be willing to wear different masks and risk failing and making mistakes. Embrace failure and be grateful for the successes that you'll encounter.
     
  20. Espi

    Espi Moderator

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    Ha! Nice one Ninja. Double X in sexy...that'll elicit a response for sure! :rockon:
     

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