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First date after bpd ex looking for tips

xstang77

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Well guys the date went good,just kept it low key and she's 20 times better looking then my ex,the drive kind of sucked but it's nice to get back out there,I don't mind a little traveling and spending money if it helps keep my sanity once in a while.
 

MrOctober

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Just go with the flow.

She'll text you again if she liked your dialogue and digs the pics.
She's some leo chick bro she'll either smash first date or she'll dash and never text you again so just ride out spray some cologne and pump this chick full of drinks.
 

xstang77

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Just go with the flow.

She'll text you again if she liked your dialogue and digs the pics.
She's some leo chick bro she'll either smash first date or she'll dash and never text you again so just ride out spray some cologne and pump this chick full of drinks.
She texted me to text her when I got back home and said she had a good time and can't wait to see me again etc. I'm diggin her just working on not being afc due to my new outlook from reading the dj bible.
 

MrOctober

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She texted me to text her when I got back home and said she had a good time and can't wait to see me again etc. I'm diggin her just working on not being afc due to my new outlook from reading the dj bible.
Oh you got her dude. Yea just let her do alllllll the initiation of texts. You got this man you won't slip. Sounds like you have a one way ticket to smash city bro estimated one date. Get her to drive to you so she's too drunk to go home and offer to go to your place.
 

xstang77

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Oh you got her dude. Yea just let her do alllllll the initiation of texts. You got this man you won't slip. Sounds like you have a one way ticket to smash city bro estimated one date. Get her to drive to you so she's too drunk to go home and offer to go to your place.
Yea man I'm gonna let her text me first now and the next date I'm gonna initiate mad kino and kissing,biggest issue is the distance though kinda hinders progress of things,she drove an hour to meet and I drove 1.5 I couldn't tell from her body language if she was into me or not during dinner but afterwards she was comfortable enough to go to a park with me alone at night and I was the one to end the date,kept it just under 3 hours.
 

xstang77

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So I'm thinking of hitting her up tommorow about going out again this weekend,we haven't spoken since Saturday night after the date and I don't want it to go to cold,I'm thinking an action date like some waterfalls/trails I googled that will have us both investing to meet there. Sound like a good idea to hit her up etc? With knowing the previous things she said that I mentioned,also she seems somewhat like an introvert and shy/lacking body language interest but seems genuine and comfortable with me.
 
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MrOctober

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So I'm thinking of hitting her up tommorow about going out again this weekend,we haven't spoken since Saturday night after the date and I don't want it to go to cold,I'm thinking an action date like some waterfalls/trails I googled that will have us both investing to meet there. Sound like a good idea to hit her up etc? With knowing the previous things she said that I mentioned,also she seems somewhat like an introvert and shy/lacking body language interest but seems genuine and comfortable with me.
She's probably waiting for you to text her like every other dude would do. Don't.. Separate yourself. Just hold off and be patient bro trust me. If you don't hear from her by like Wednesday maybe pull the trigger on that.

make her chase dude. If she has 5+ interest she'll break and text you and it'll feel awesome you waited
 

BeTheChange

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She's probably waiting for you to text her like every other dude would do. Don't.. Separate yourself. Just hold off and be patient bro trust me. If you don't hear from her by like Wednesday maybe pull the trigger on that.

make her chase dude. If she has 5+ interest she'll break and text you and it'll feel awesome you waited
Co sign. Generally unless the date ends in sex, she should be the one to text you first. But don't stress about these things too much. It's minor.
 

xstang77

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Co sign. Generally unless the date ends in sex, she should be the one to text you first. But don't stress about these things too much. It's minor.
Co sign. Generally unless the date ends in sex, she should be the one to text you first. But don't stress about these things too much. It's minor.
Even though she texted me first the night right after the date? She has stated she wants to see me again.
 

BeTheChange

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Even though she texted me first the night right after the date? She has stated she wants to see me again.
You're overthinking this...which is understandable given your ex BPD situation and its possible impact on your self esteem. As time goes on and you bed more women your confidence will grow. If she text you to say she had a "great time" that's a positive sign. Just proceed as normal and arrange a second date.

As long as things are progressing then there's nothing to be worried about.
 

xstang77

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You're overthinking this...which is understandable given your ex BPD situation and its possible impact on your self esteem. As time goes on and you bed more women your confidence will grow. If she text you to say she had a "great time" that's a positive sign. Just proceed as normal and arrange a second date.

As long as things are progressing then there's nothing to be worried about.
Agreed,thanks I'll ask the girl out tonight.
 

xstang77

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Well I texted her that night,not sure if I'm getting friend zoned or if I'm being paranoid because of what I'm used to. Me:hey I had a great time the other night I was wondering if you'd be interested in going out again? Hb: of course I would,I had a great time. Meok cool how's this weekend look for you? Hb:mom has surgery this weekend so I have to help her:( wish I could though. Me:ah ok hope it goes well. Hb: quickly sends me a pic of a rainbow she saw with her daughter. Me: nice etc..hb: me too we deffinetly will soon,I'm looking forward to seeing you again. Me Ok yea deff. Let me know I'm thinking hitting the trails this time etc. hb: sounds good to me:) and that was the extent of it pretty much,we go days not talking etc is this a sign of low interest and I should next or am I just being paranoid?
 
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xstang77

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Well it's been almost a week since I asked her for that second date and she hasn't reached out to initiate since we talked last ,guess I should move on.
 

xstang77

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In the case of her just being busy taking care of her mother and the fact that she hasn't ignored any of my texts should I reach out one last time or could it be she's just letting me down easy?
 

Billtx49

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In the case of her just being busy taking care of her mother and the fact that she hasn't ignored any of my texts should I reach out one last time or could it be she's just letting me down easy?
Your previous post says you should move on. This one asks if you should contact her again. Take control of your life and future and try not to be as wishy washy because of your emotions. She is just another woman. Plenty more out there.
 
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xstang77

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I agree,guess I'm more so looking for outside opinions given recent info if it's clear she's not interested or if I should reach out again due to her being busy.
 

marmel75

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I agree,guess I'm more so looking for outside opinions given recent info if it's clear she's not interested or if I should reach out again due to her being busy.
I'd wait it out for another week and then give her another shot out of the blue. In the mean time you should be going on more dates. The reason you are so focused on her is because you have nothing else going on.
 

xstang77

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I'd wait it out for another week and then give her another shot out of the blue. In the mean time you should be going on more dates. The reason you are so focused on her is because you have nothing else going on.
My family tells me I should reach out again so atleast I have an answer,but I worry I'll come off desperate,I deffinetly played cool with this one with new lessons learned from the dj bible,I'm interested in the girl but not hearing anything from her in a week kind of feels like a sign to me,I'm still actively using old to hit up other girls but no luck yet.
 
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