Does it annoy you if you're the one holding the conversation?

[Huffman]

I mean, not all girls are talkative. And silence in the right place can increase comfort or, when the mood is right, tension. But still, with a couple of girls I saw recently I had to do all the conversation, and frankly I was a bit annoyed.

You get talking about some topic and connect over it, and honestly it was a god conversation, then the topic runs out. Then it falls to you to keep it going, or change the subject etc. Or, if it's not the first date, maybe you just can't think of anything fresh for the moment.

So I like to shut up and see if she makes an effort to keep the ball rolling. Often, nothing? But still, she wants to see me again.

I like to be the silent guy, but it seems many girls can't do any better than small talk either, even if they're interested. For me, spending time together is not about talking. I know, action dates, but still you're going to have drinks every now and then. Does that annoy you guys too?

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Edited: Obvioulsy the question poses itself "why do you go on dates with girls you can't have good convo with"? Hell it's summer and I want that ass. Haven't yet found the key to being so direct as to avoid conversation altogether

 

[fastlife]

Self-amusement: it's your responsibility as a man to make your interactions with women interesting to you. Quit looking to women for entertainment.

Stop listening to the words or the content and focus on your experience of her--focus on her voice, her femininity, her facial expressions and mannerisms. Stare into her eyes. Quit judging her or yourself and just experience it. Enjoy when she says something stupid, enjoy the tension, and just focus on the energy of the interaction and shaping and directing that energy toward getting her back to your bedroom.

 

[marmel75]

Not at all...some women are intimidated, nervous or just shy at first and need time to relax and feel comfortable opening up. In fact you can HELP them with this by leaning back, having open body language and just showing relaxed posture yourself like hanging out on a first date with a woman is just something that naturally happens and its no big deal.

 

[bigneil]

Don't be her gabby girlfriend.

Women are supposed to do 70% of the talking.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Women are chatterboxes. She's not interesting to me if she doesn't talk.

 

[ubercat]

I like playing pool at pubs. Of course there's people around you and normally TV's tuned to the sports. So there's three topics of conversation straight off the bat. It's a good skill to practise letting your environment throw up conversational topics. Normally girls only speak about things they're interested in to do with their feelings. So when the situation I described if there's a baseball game on the box ... so who do you think is hotter baseball or football guys? If you're playing pool ask her how she learnt the game. Has she played in pubs before what was her favourite pub. You're an experienced guy but for the newbies. Make sure you keep it focused on her feelings. How does it make her feel when she wins? Why did she like her favourite pub so much? If it's a first date agree and amplifly her feelings. Make a study of how girls interact when they meet for the first time. You'll see a lot of agreeing and nodding, light touches on the arm. Do this for 10 minutes to build comfort.

Anyway back on the Ops original topic I'd toss a few of these light conversation starters out there and see if she bites. Generally if I offered a couple topics of conversation and got nothing back but I thought the girl was interested I'd try and bounce to another venue.

One of the wine bars I like has a great gelato place up the road. Frame it up something you want to do. - hey there's this great ice cream place I like. Grab her hand and say let's go.

But to be honest I do a lot of this just to practice. I still hold by the DJ Maxim that's an interested woman will make it easy for you. She will be easy to meet easy to talk to and easy to escalate with.

 

[Huffman]

Chiming in to say thanks for the replies. I've worked to improve conversation for some time so the point about feelings is of course true. But I started to feel like a psychiatrist, a bit manipulative and not actually interested. Then I sat down and asked myself - what do I really want? Answer: project sexuality.

Funnily enough, after I wrote this thread, the next day I resolved to stop working on conversation topics, and instead focus on nonverbals. To great success. I went into this meetup and was like "I have no idea what to talk about, but I'm gonna walk in there like I own this place". Can't remember exactly how I got myself into this state, but I really nailed the frame over there, infact I took the # of the hottest girl and am seeing her tonight.

Spot on advice, thanks. Communication is not about the conversation but how you project yourself. Be that having fun, or being dominant or just laid back.
Now that I wrote this down, I realize I've read this so many times before. Guess I'm rediscovering all that advice by finally living it.