Do not fall for girls inflating your ego!

[weekender]

I was in a relationship where the girl stroked my ego in a consistent basis. After about a month and a half she proclaimed her love for me, I didn't think much of these compliments to be honest. But they had some effect on me, let my guard down a bit and when she cried "for me", I believe the ego stroking had created a bridge into faulty reasoning. Her tears plastered on her face I actually believed her words and ignoring her actions. Perhaps, I was addicted to her words; maybe.

 

[JustLurk]

Well, there are some women that know how to and will flatter you and use her sexuality to boost you up. This could be sincere, or an attempt at manipulation or taking control of the sexual power in the relationship.
This is when you will have to make a judgment call on which one it is.

If it is an attempt at manip, there's no reason to be wary or dump her, indeed I think it's a bit of a **** test.
I remember this quote on this from SD, I will paraphrase here: 'Beautiful woman hints towards sex to excite you. As soon as it works she thinks she can manipulate you just like almost every horny guy out there. A high quality guy with many opportunities for sex would not become overly exited because he has no need to. instead tease about it or act as if you don't understand' While don't fully agree this seems to be the most complete topic on the subject

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Squirrels got it!! That´s BPD in love´s clothing

If you look at a LOT of the BPD threads, you'll see this as part of the pattern:
- Great sex
- Compliments m e oh-so-much

So on and so forth...
I'm always weary of a woman who is way too willing to inflate TOO much of my ego in the early goings.

Kailex you´re correct. It´s quite easy to have your spider sense "aroused". If a girl comes on too strong, and you´ve done nothing out of extraordinary, beware cause it´s a disgrace in disguise! Tara calls this LOVE BOMBING.

The Love Bomb: Cult recruiters and many emotional predators drug you with love, admiration, validation, affection, adoration, flattery. Many people are seduced by this kind of behavior. Everyone wants to feel special. Abusers play to your ego needs and then turn the tables on you, which is why it’s so difficult to break away once the abuse begins in earnest. You yearn for her to return to the kind, loving person she was when you first met. You believe that’s the real person and the abusive, hostile, cold, unempathic harpy is the aberration. In reality, the opposite is true.

"The relationship started out fantastic. The sex was great, she gave me Hallmark cards telling me how wonderful I was, and we had so much fun together". Predators often drug their prey with love, admiration, validation, affection, adoration, flattery, laser beam attention, responsiveness and sexual and non-sexual touching. They hang on your every word and create a sense of instant rapport, connection and intimacy. This is BPD 101. Meaning, if there was a college major to become a Borderline, this would be one of the prerequisite courses. Don’t feel bad. Many people are seduced by this kind of behavior.

Also: http://www.albany.edu/scj/jcjpc/vol8is3/snyder.pdf (Journal of Criminal Justice: Femme Fatales and Cluster B)

 

[Zarky]

Men make the mistake of thinking that women are stupid. They're not...they're all cunning little schemers.

LOL right because all women are the same. All 3.5 billion of them have that same personality trait. I find myself saying this over and over, but if you find yourself lumping a huge segment of any gender, race, nationality, religion, etc. into one group and assigning traits to them all (such as the Nazis did before WWII to the jews), then you should be seeing a psychiatrist.

It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that a rather large percentage of men on sosuave shouldn't be on the 'net but should be sitting on a therapist's couch. Odds are, I'm talking to you.

 

[countermart]

Actions not words

Why argue with the truth lol?

Actually, this is simple and a long term view of SS, “Do not listen to what a woman says, watch what she does.”

What a woman says is what she wants you to hear, what she does is what she really wants.

I have had girls tell me “I’m hot, they would die for me, that I am a f****** spunk, very intelligent, sexy etc blah, blah, blah”... and you know what?

It is all absolutely meaningless.... Just say, “thanks” and forget about it. It means absolutely nothing.

Obviously, this does not mean do not listen to her ever, but ultimately her words mean very little against her actions. This also goes for some men as well...it’s the old, “Actions speak more than words.”

Watch what she does!

Countermart

 

[squirrels]

It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that a rather large percentage of men on sosuave shouldn't be on the 'net but should be sitting on a therapist's couch. Odds are, I'm talking to you.

And it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that a large percentage of "men" (and I use the term loosely) on SoSuave are so wrapped up in the myth of the "quality woman" that they want to shoot off about "absolutes" when someone suggests that no woman is a perfect princess who will kiss a man's arse all the time just because she likes doing it.

If someone gives you too many gifts, too many compliments, does too much to inflate your ego or goes OUT OF THEIR WAY to put your mind at ease, be cautious of ulterior motives. That's all I'm saying, and I STILL believe that it's wise to do so in any situation.

If you want to carelessly fling your trust at any woman who sucks your d*ck and strokes your ego just right, then come back here and b!tch about "BPD this" and "BPD that" when she flips the script at you down the line, you're welcome to do that. Just bear in mind that all of these guys (yes, I used the word, "all") who married these "BPD" women and discovered how insane they are after the fact...they probably all had "signs" that this was coming, and they turned a blind eye because it felt so good when these women were making them feel like kings.

 

[zekko]

LOL right because all women are the same. All 3.5 billion of them have that same personality trait. I find myself saying this over and over, but if you find yourself lumping a huge segment of any gender, race, nationality, religion, etc. into one group and assigning traits to them all (such as the Nazis did before WWII to the jews), then you should be seeing a psychiatrist.

It's hard to discuss any subject without making generalizations. But I agree with you. There are too many people here who believe that all women are identical, and that there is no variation from individual to individual, from personality to personality.

Also, how could women be "cunning little schemers" if they are incapable of logic and react solely based on emotion? It just goes to show that the whole concept of how women are perceived here is flawed. There's a lot of truth in it, don't get me wrong. It's just incomplete, because it allows no variation for the individual.

And it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that a large percentage of "men" (and I use the term loosely) on SoSuave are so wrapped up in the myth of the "quality woman" that they want to shoot off about "absolutes" when someone suggests that no woman is a perfect princess who will kiss a man's arse all the time just because she likes doing it.

I don't think Zarky was trying to suggest anything like that, but I will stand corrected if I am wrong.

 

[Kailex]

I find myself saying this over and over, but if you find yourself lumping a huge segment of any gender, race, nationality, religion, etc. into one group and assigning traits to them all (such as the Nazis did before WWII to the jews), then you should be seeing a psychiatrist.

It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that a rather large percentage of men on sosuave shouldn't be on the 'net but should be sitting on a therapist's couch. Odds are, I'm talking to you.

I'm not trying to be snarky, but aren't you doing the same thing that you are condemning? You just lumped a huge segment of an "etc." into one group and assigned traits to them and then said they should see a psychiatrist.

Want to get penciled in for 1:30 PM? My appointment is for 1:00 PM.

 

[SoldMySoul]

This right here is a stellar thread!! Thanks to Squirrels for bringing the subject up! No matter or not if you agree with him... He in my opinion is dead on!!! I have witnessed exactly this before, several years ago and I agree with him. Sure there are women out there that will tell you things and mean it, but like he points out, be very careful with it.