2Rocky
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
- Messages
- 2,540
- Reaction score
- 2,838
- Age
- 50
I have a female friend, about 50 years old, whom I have known for eight years. She owns a business that I frequent, and it is the hub of my social scene and many of the people I exercise with I've met through her and her business. She is a very physically affectionate person, and we have become really good friends. To the point that I even had my sister comment that she was a little uncomfortable seeing pictures of the two of us together a few years ago, while I was still married. The woman in my life has asked about my friend as well, so she saw a connection.
Now there has been no hooking up of any sort between the two of us at all in that time. However our greetings are always hugs. We trade favors back and forth. I help her cook for her business events, she gives me free inventory from her store, I invite her and her kids and friends to events, she sees my wife at events our kids do together. It is an awesome friendship. I would liken it to her being a sister to me. (It's better than what I have with my REAL sisters)
Fast forward to the time of my break up, six months ago. She senses I am hurting, inquires, and I fill her in on the fact I was getting divorced. This occurred in a private conversation over a bottle of wine at her business after hours. Since then she has been very supportive, asking how it is going, and relating her experiences going through a divorce herself.
Here in the last two months she seems to have upped the ante. She donated to my child's cause, to buy a Quarter of a beef (about 200 pounds). I offered to help her haul the chest freezer, and the meat to her house. She chose a mid week daytime when her kids weren't home to do this task. She meets me at the butcher shop and her hug becomes a full on "Monkey hug" with her arms tight around my neck, and legs wrapped around my waist. My interest detector is pinging hard...
We pick up the beef,and the freezer, and she offers me a tour of the house, ending in the bedroom. If I was going to escalate physically, this is where I would do it....Instead I gracefully remark about the time and work, etc... As I leave she asks me if I am seeing anyone, adding she thought about fixing me up with "a friend of hers" who I know also. At this point I relent and tell her that I am in a long distance relationship with a great woman.
Her reaction was completely supportive, I show her pictures and let slip that we are spending the weekend together. She expresses her support, and tells me I deserve it. I'm suspecting a twinge of disappointment though on her part.
Since then, she upped her texting frequency, has given me a refrigerator, invited me to drinks with colleagues, and dinner with friends, offered me more furniture, and inquired about if I had a good weekend getaway. Once during the weekend. I've been evasive about her inquiries about the weekend, just grin and say it was really good.
I'm trying to determine just how I'm going to handle her and keep her as a friend. I could imagine a scenario where we might have a physical relationship but I don't feel romantic about it...Her physical affection hasn't diminished any...
I'm really concerned about whether my current relationship lady is going to view her as potential competition? I'd imagined the two of them would be good friends and a good addition to each others career and business networks. Now I'm a little cautious.
Do I need to have "The Talk" with my friend?
Do I need to worry that this would tarnish a great friendship?
Do you think the friend is orbiting, waiting to catch me when I'm vulnerable?
Do you think I'm just being egotistical and it's all about ME?
Now there has been no hooking up of any sort between the two of us at all in that time. However our greetings are always hugs. We trade favors back and forth. I help her cook for her business events, she gives me free inventory from her store, I invite her and her kids and friends to events, she sees my wife at events our kids do together. It is an awesome friendship. I would liken it to her being a sister to me. (It's better than what I have with my REAL sisters)
Fast forward to the time of my break up, six months ago. She senses I am hurting, inquires, and I fill her in on the fact I was getting divorced. This occurred in a private conversation over a bottle of wine at her business after hours. Since then she has been very supportive, asking how it is going, and relating her experiences going through a divorce herself.
Here in the last two months she seems to have upped the ante. She donated to my child's cause, to buy a Quarter of a beef (about 200 pounds). I offered to help her haul the chest freezer, and the meat to her house. She chose a mid week daytime when her kids weren't home to do this task. She meets me at the butcher shop and her hug becomes a full on "Monkey hug" with her arms tight around my neck, and legs wrapped around my waist. My interest detector is pinging hard...
We pick up the beef,and the freezer, and she offers me a tour of the house, ending in the bedroom. If I was going to escalate physically, this is where I would do it....Instead I gracefully remark about the time and work, etc... As I leave she asks me if I am seeing anyone, adding she thought about fixing me up with "a friend of hers" who I know also. At this point I relent and tell her that I am in a long distance relationship with a great woman.
Her reaction was completely supportive, I show her pictures and let slip that we are spending the weekend together. She expresses her support, and tells me I deserve it. I'm suspecting a twinge of disappointment though on her part.
Since then, she upped her texting frequency, has given me a refrigerator, invited me to drinks with colleagues, and dinner with friends, offered me more furniture, and inquired about if I had a good weekend getaway. Once during the weekend. I've been evasive about her inquiries about the weekend, just grin and say it was really good.
I'm trying to determine just how I'm going to handle her and keep her as a friend. I could imagine a scenario where we might have a physical relationship but I don't feel romantic about it...Her physical affection hasn't diminished any...
I'm really concerned about whether my current relationship lady is going to view her as potential competition? I'd imagined the two of them would be good friends and a good addition to each others career and business networks. Now I'm a little cautious.
Do I need to have "The Talk" with my friend?
Do I need to worry that this would tarnish a great friendship?
Do you think the friend is orbiting, waiting to catch me when I'm vulnerable?
Do you think I'm just being egotistical and it's all about ME?
