Benefits Of Cutting Back On Alcohol

[jimjam]

Problem is some ppl, like I, find it hard to keep balance. For some, drinking turns into a habit and stress relief

Check out my post above. Habits turn into obsessions in some cases. Sorry, not judging. I don't hold much sway when it comes to this booze thing. I tell my son, don't be a drinker. I was around alcohol my whole life. My grandparents ran a bar. Booze on the table was as regular as salt and pepper. All I can say is be careful. Only you know what is or isn't working in your life.

 

[Rainman4707]

I dont drink much nowadays. Last night out i had was in August.
Thing that gets me is when you've worked hard, done all your housework. Done all your exercise. Had a good days out & about exploring. You've watched a little t.v. So it's now a Saturday night & you're sat in the house bored. I think, well what do I do now, it's either sit in & watch more t.v or go out & have a drink.

If I sit in watching t.v by myself on a Saturday night, I feel like i'm wasting my life.

 

[samspade]

I dont drink much nowadays. Last night out i had was in August.
Thing that gets me is when you've worked hard, done all your housework. Done all your exercise. Had a good days out & about exploring. You've watched a little t.v. So it's now a Saturday night & you're sat in the house bored. I think, well what do I do now, it's either sit in & watch more t.v or go out & have a drink.

If I sit in watching t.v by myself on a Saturday night, I feel like i'm wasting my life.

Depends on what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with kicking your feet up. In other words, don't pressure yourself to do things you don't want to do.

 

[Rainman4707]

Sometimes I feel like i'm missing out on the social aspect of it to.

For the working class man working shifts, Bus Driver, Factory worker, Security Guard. Once in a while you get lucky enough to get a Saturday night off. I find myself thinking what do I do now? I've done everything else. It's either pub or tv, or go & do something boring like walking about the streets in the dark or go for a pointless, boring drive. Study, no I've been doing that all week. This is my time to have fun. Go see my GF, Oh I've already done that too. I think to myself...What should I do? That's just my life style. I cannot commit to much because i work long hour shifts. I could'nt arrange to train as a boxer because I work sixty hours a week. Maybe doctors or psychologists have a better lifestyle. They can arrange to go away for the weekend with their family. A lot of working class me & women drink. When I was off alcohol, one woman told me "You've quit alcohol, why? it's the only good thing about life"
Drinking is a BIG part of a lot of working class mens life. A big part!

It might seem like i'm bitching & moaning about my life. I love life. My choices have led me to where I am in life. I'm just discussing this topic & trying to give the reader a view into my world at the time when I make the choice, do I go out to the pub. When I was off drink for about two years, I did go out & drink non-alcoholic drinks, like pop (which has now stained my two front teeth, ooops) & diluted orange. I see that as a waste of time & purpose. I'm back to my old view of no point in going on a night out unless you have at least a few alcoholic drinks.

So that is my choice i have had to make in the past. My problem is, that I cannot control my drinking. Like I said, I've been doing really well, but slipped up once.
People say alcohol is fun if you can control it. I've found I cannot. I slip up one in every eight occasions & over indulge.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Sometimes I feel like i'm missing out on the social aspect of it to.

For the working class man working shifts, Bus Driver, Factory worker, Security Guard. Once in a while you get lucky enough to get a Saturday night off. I find myself thinking what do I do now? I've done everything else. It's either pub or tv, or go & do something boring like walking about the streets in the dark or go for a pointless, boring drive. Study, no I've been doing that all week. This is my time to have fun. Go see my GF, Oh I've already done that too. I think to myself...What should I do? That's just my life style. I cannot commit to much because i work long hour shifts. I could'nt arrange to train as a boxer because I work sixty hours a week. Maybe doctors or psychologists have a better lifestyle. They can arrange to go away for the weekend with their family. A lot of working class me & women drink. When I was off alcohol, one woman told me "You've quit alcohol, why? it's the only good thing about life"
Drinking is a BIG part of a lot of working class mens life. A big part!

It might seem like i'm bitching & moaning about my life. I love life. My choices have led me to where I am in life. I'm just discussing this topic & trying to give the reader a view into my world at the time when I make the choice, do I go out to the pub. When I was off drink for about two years, I did go out & drink non-alcoholic drinks, like pop (which has now stained my two front teeth, ooops) & diluted orange. I see that as a waste of time & purpose. I'm back to my old view of no point in going on a night out unless you have at least a few alcoholic drinks.

So that is my choice i have had to make in the past. My problem is, that I cannot control my drinking. Like I said, I've been doing really well, but slipped up once.
People say alcohol is fun if you can control it. I've found I cannot. I slip up one in every eight occasions & over indulge.

Can you enjoy your time out WITHOUT drinking?

 

[Rainman4707]

Can you enjoy your time out WITHOUT drinking?

We'll see.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Check out my post above. Habits turn into obsessions in some cases. Sorry, not judging. I don't hold much sway when it comes to this booze thing. I tell my son, don't be a drinker. I was around alcohol my whole life. My grandparents ran a bar. Booze on the table was as regular as salt and pepper. All I can say is be careful. Only you know what is or isn't working in your life.

Agreed. Not too long ago, I was starting to drink before doing any sort of activity. Beer during my showers, wine before going food shopping, and ocassionaly drinking during breaks at work! Alcohol used to make these situations more fun or just "different", now Im doing nothing but destroying my body. What a waste of time and money the drinking drug is....

 

[Thatfeel21]

Sometimes I feel like i'm missing out on the social aspect of it to.

For the working class man working shifts, Bus Driver, Factory worker, Security Guard. Once in a while you get lucky enough to get a Saturday night off. I find myself thinking what do I do now? I've done everything else. It's either pub or tv, or go & do something boring like walking about the streets in the dark or go for a pointless, boring drive. Study, no I've been doing that all week. This is my time to have fun. Go see my GF, Oh I've already done that too. I think to myself...What should I do? That's just my life style. I cannot commit to much because i work long hour shifts. I could'nt arrange to train as a boxer because I work sixty hours a week. Maybe doctors or psychologists have a better lifestyle. They can arrange to go away for the weekend with their family. A lot of working class me & women drink. When I was off alcohol, one woman told me "You've quit alcohol, why? it's the only good thing about life"
Drinking is a BIG part of a lot of working class mens life. A big part!

It might seem like i'm bitching & moaning about my life. I love life. My choices have led me to where I am in life. I'm just discussing this topic & trying to give the reader a view into my world at the time when I make the choice, do I go out to the pub. When I was off drink for about two years, I did go out & drink non-alcoholic drinks, like pop (which has now stained my two front teeth, ooops) & diluted orange. I see that as a waste of time & purpose. I'm back to my old view of no point in going on a night out unless you have at least a few alcoholic drinks.

So that is my choice i have had to make in the past. My problem is, that I cannot control my drinking. Like I said, I've been doing really well, but slipped up once.
People say alcohol is fun if you can control it. I've found I cannot. I slip up one in every eight occasions & over indulge.

I stopped for two whole weeks about 2 months ago. Then relapsed and went on a 3+ week binge b4 i finally managed to put a day together of no booze. BUT, if i remember corectly, the only reason I didnt drink on that 20-30th-something-consecutive-day, was because I ran outta money in between paychecks. *Sigh*

 

[jimjam]

Gents. Only you know what is excessive for you. What's excessive for one may not be for another. Personally, I fall under the heading of one drink is not enough and too much. Of course, it took me being drunk for fifteen years to realize this. Nothing at all wrong with cooling off at the bar with a few beers or drinks or what have you. Is it causing even the tiniest problem in your life? Do you feel disgusted with yourself or guilty after drinking? No? Then knock yourself out! If I decided to have one drink, I'd wind up draining the bottle. That's me. May not be you. the bottom line is to PAY CLOSE ATTENTION to yourself, how you behave and feel. Alcohol tricks you into believing that you aren't doing anything out of the ordinary. I knew people whom could conduct themselves in the most refined comportment after 12 drinks. then I knew people who had one and they'd be finished. Sloppy, undignified. The old Jeckyl and Hyde. If you find yourself making excuses for yourself and your drinking, it may be time to closer examine your habits. not calling anyone a drunk. But nip it before you can't get your hands around it. Drinking takes a lot of time and effort to really do a good job with it. Fifteen years for me, that I'll never get back.

I'd rather stay at home and watch tv then have one drink. That's me. One drink my send me back to hell. And being a full time drunk is hell. No other word for it. You watch all of these terrible things happening to you, but it's like you're watching someone else. strange. Sorry if I'm preaching. But this is geared more to the young guys. I was drunk for all of my twenties and into my early thirties. It was a waste. What I think know of what I could've done with that time, the money. But, at least now I'm sober. And that's everything.

Go easy

 

[Reykhel]

I stopped for two whole weeks about 2 months ago. Then relapsed and went on a 3+ week binge b4 i finally managed to put a day together of no booze. BUT, if i remember corectly, the only reason I didnt drink on that 20-30th-something-consecutive-day, was because I ran outta money in between paychecks. *Sigh*

See if your library has the Allen Carr Easy way to control alcohol book........
https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Control-Alcohol/dp/0572028504

Also, check out iTunes for some podcasts about quitting the booze and living a sober life. It's obviously causing you
anguish. Remember it's said that sometimes to go from blue pill to red pill thinking requires a paradigm shift. It's the same
for any changing of behavior or "rewiring of the brain circuits". Make that paradigm shift from unhappy drinker to happy teetotaler......

Here, a did a little search......this guy has a website, a youtube channel and a free podcast:
http://alcoholmastery.com

Oh and check out the 4 noble truths...
http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s02.htm

Looking at reality is recognizing what causes us suffering, ceasing to do the actions that cause us suffering and choosing a better path.....a path to well being........

Alcohol is causing you suffering........to think otherwise....that is to say, to think it is giving you a benefit, is delusional thinking....

I wish you the best of luck....

Remember........you never have to feel like this again.....just leave the booze in the bottle

 

[jimjam]

[QUOTE="Reykhel, post: 2375193, member: 130723"
Remember........you never have to feel like this again.....just leave the booze in the bottle[/QUOTE]


Right on! My worst times sober are a thousand times better than my best times drunk

 

[Shift]

Question for those who have managed to give it up for good. What do you do with your nights off from work? I'm contemplating quitting for a few months as my drinking has started to get out of hand. The problem is that I don't know what I'll do with my time off from work. Ever since I was 17, the weekends have been for going to parties or bars. I never had much of a social life before then either, so I guess I could say that's only the way I really know how to socialize in the evenings. It's gotten rather dull (and slightly problematic). Any suggestions for alternative evening activities would be great.

 

[jimjam]

Question for those who have managed to give it up for good. What do you do with your nights off from work? I'm contemplating quitting for a few months as my drinking has started to get out of hand. The problem is that I don't know what I'll do with my time off from work. Ever since I was 17, the weekends have been for going to parties or bars. I never had much of a social life before then either, so I guess I could say that's only the way I really know how to socialize in the evenings. It's gotten rather dull (and slightly problematic). Any suggestions for alternative evening activities would be great.

Man, you've just go to find what interests you and submerge yourself;f in it. Though I would advise that before following that advice, you have to know in your soul that drinking is no longer for you. It's a tough call to make, for sure. There's a saying that goes you finally give up when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. That's the only right way to put it. Once you reach that point, and not until you reach that point, can you walk away from it with a clear conscience and devote your time to other things. Just from reading your post I can understand that you may have trouble imagining your time without booze. It's a tough shift in behavior to make, especially at your age when drinking is the primary social lubricant. I'm not going to tell you that you have to lose a lot and hit rock bottom before you stop. It's all up to you and everyone's bottom is different. All I can tell you is what worked for me, and that's when I saw how many years I wasted, how many opportunities I lost because I was drunk. If you want to do it, stop. Just stop and don't worry about how you'll spend the time. If it means that much to you, and you're serious, then time spent sober is enough. then find the things that meant so much to you before you began drinking, whatever they were. digest them. go over them all again and find out just how much they meant to you. I hope this makes sense.

good luck

 

[BeExcellent]

If you do go out, you don't HAVE to drink. Have a club soda with a twist of lime. Say you have to drive. Nobody will notice. I do this sometimes when I'm not wishing to drink but am going out for a social outing or a meal but still have to drive myself. A sparkling water is good too.

As to evening activities you can do that have a social component and do not require drinking:

1. Tennis (great social sport)
2. Learn to dance (latin/ballroom/swing/etc.) Go to a good studio and they will have a robust social calendar where you can meet men and women from diverse age and social groups. There are salsa clubs, tango clubs, swing clubs, etc. Many people drink water, juice or sodas at these things because the focus is on dancing rather than drinking.
3. Surf or paddleboard if you are near the coast
4. Cycling
5. Go to the shooting range or the driving range
6. Play basketball, sand volleyball, city league baseball or softball
7. Volunteer (offer to referee a sport you enjoy, get involved with a charity you support or believe in, coach something or mentor something)

I'm sure there are lots of things you could be doing and this is just a tip of the iceberg as far as suggestions go. You can do all the stuff you've been doing too - just without the alcohol.

 

[samspade]

If you do go out, you don't HAVE to drink. Have a club soda with a twist of lime. Say you have to drive. Nobody will notice. I do this sometimes when I'm not wishing to drink but am going out for a social outing or a meal but still have to drive myself. A sparkling water is good too.

There you go. I went to a going-away party for friends a few weeks ago. It was at a bar, at midday. Most people weren't hammered but were having a drink or two. But some were a little more lit up. It was interesting to hear people on the sauce ramble and speak loudly and think they're hilarious, like I'm sure I have done many a time. I stuck to club soda. Nobody noted or cared. If anyone asked I would have said "I have to get up early" or whatever.

As for the social aspect...I have a girlfriend who doesn't drink much at all, so we're fine with Netflix & Chill. We go out for dinner or bowling but don't need booze for that. For single guys, I recommend you focus on organized parties rather than random bars. A six-pack or bottle from a store costs a fraction of what it costs at a bar. If you do go out, get ONE ****tail, maybe vodka-based, and milk it. Let the ice melt, and keep drinking the watered-down, boozy ice. Let other people get hammered. It's a great way to run game since you'll be more in control. If the bartendress asks you if you want a refill, just ask her to put a little club soda in it. Remember, bars will push refills and even buy you a round when they see you're good and pliable for big tips. Their objective is to separate you from your money. Not saying they're bad people, I've had many a great conversation with bartenders, but it's all about cash.

 

[jimjam]

I feel I needs to clarify something here. For the guys who are wondering what to do with themselves if they aren't drinking, or saying that drinking is a part of your life, or a working class tradition. I get all that blue blood, union pride mindset. I was immersed in it myself for years. Working class pride. Oi! Oi!.

Anyway, the point I want to clarify is that you are looking for something to do BESIDES drinking. This kind of thinking presupposes that there is a choice between drinking or doing something else. And there's a lot of truth to that. but for me, personally, I took the choice of drinking completely out of the equation. I don't even allow myself to think about it. It's like, I'm sure most of us wouldn't even give mainlining smack a second thought. apply this way of thinking to booze and you won't be stressed over what else to do with your time. you'll just do what you do.

For those that just want to cut back, well, you know my feelings. All or nothing. But that's me. I can't understand a normal, moderate drinker because it's not in my cellular makeup to be one.

Hope that makes sense.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I feel I needs to clarify something here. For the guys who are wondering what to do with themselves if they aren't drinking, or saying that drinking is a part of your life, or a working class tradition. I get all that blue blood, union pride mindset. I was immersed in it myself for years. Working class pride. Oi! Oi!.

Anyway, the point I want to clarify is that you are looking for something to do BESIDES drinking. This kind of thinking presupposes that there is a choice between drinking or doing something else. And there's a lot of truth to that. but for me, personally, I took the choice of drinking completely out of the equation. I don't even allow myself to think about it. It's like, I'm sure most of us wouldn't even give mainlining smack a second thought. apply this way of thinking to booze and you won't be stressed over what else to do with your time. you'll just do what you do.

For those that just want to cut back, well, you know my feelings. All or nothing. But that's me. I can't understand a normal, moderate drinker because it's not in my cellular makeup to be one.

Hope that makes sense.

I'm a BEAST at drinking and all it takes is one drop to ignite those flames. Plus it NEVER has helped me in any way always prolonging or making problems worse. So I don't need even a single drop of it.

 

[RestUnknown]

I have come to a state where I only feel good about myself and see everything positively when I've had a few drinks. And I do mean a few (2-3). I never drink so much where I get a hangover the next day and when I do, people don't notice it when I'm drunk, besides being a bit more talkative.

I feel and realize this is a very dangerous position to be in. I instantaneously feel better from the moment of that first sip and get down again when my beer is empty and I know it's the last one of the night. I've become dependent on it to feel good as I do feel quite **** and even depressed without it. I'm still responsible with it, I don't drink and drive, I don't drink the day before work besides when there is happening something but then I only drink one or two.

I also 'need' it when going out with friends. Ok, we know each other for over 10 years so we run out of things to say, but it helps to make the evening good...

I want to say no, but to be honest, I can't...

 

[jimjam]

Well, I can relate to exactly what you're saying. I was exactly where you are in the early days of my drinking career. I'm going to respond to some of your comments from the mindset of a fifteen year drunk. Not saying you're headed to the same place where I was. I can only tell you how I thought and acted and hope you'll take something away from it. I don't have much wiggle room when it comes to booze. I'm sober 11 years next month BTW...

So

I have come to a state where I only feel good about myself and see everything positively when I've had a few drinks. And I do mean a few (2-3). I never drink so much where I get a hangover the next day and when I do, people don't notice it when I'm drunk, besides being a bit more talkative.

I can not function, let alone be comfortable, unless I'm drinking. Doesn't matter what it is or how much. 1 is too much and a fifth isn't enough. I'm never hung-over the next day because I'm always drunk, or, I'm hung-over and drunk at the same time, if that makes sense. People don't notice when I'm drunk, or if they do, they only consider it as the norm.

I feel and realize this is a very dangerous position to be in. I instantaneously feel better from the moment of that first sip and get down again when my beer is empty and I know it's the last one of the night. I've become dependent on it to feel good as I do feel quite **** and even depressed without it. I'm still responsible with it, I don't drink and drive, I don't drink the day before work besides when there is happening something but then I only drink one or two.

I know this is dangerous and I'm essentially playing Russian roulette with my help but I don't care. I don't feel better when I drink but rather, it chases away me being sick and shaky. I get jittery when I have a drink and know there isn't anything left in the house to replace it. My wife begins pouring out bottles so I begin hiding them underneath the sink, behind the toilet, in the cellar, wherever I can. She still finds them and I blame HER for fvcking up my life. Things would be ok if I was totally alone. I'm still responsible, pay bills, go to work, though I do drive drunk. I'm always drunk. I do everything else while drunk, driving is just another thing.

I also 'need' it when going out with friends. Ok, we know each other for over 10 years so we run out of things to say, but it helps to make the evening good...

I can say that a good friend of mine, who was a drinking buddy of mine, has stuck by me in my sobriety. He still drinks, most likely the same way that I did but hey, that's his choice and his life. He lives about 1,000 miles away from me and when we see each other, we invariably go to a bar. I have soda, he has whiskey. The point being that a real friend will stick with you if you stop drinking and that you can still go out with friends and not drink, if that's what you want. It's up to you.

I want to say no, but to be honest, I can't...

Well, I know that feeling. All I can say is that if you want to say "no," you will. Like I said before, you'll say "no" when you reach the point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired and not until you reach that point.

Good luck. PM me if I can offer any other words

 

[RestUnknown]

You're point of that I will say no when I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired totally makes sense. I want to reach that point but I'm afraid of what I will loose on the way of getting there.

I've posted many threads, they all come down to the same fact. I want to change, but I don't have that 100% motivation to go fully for it. A point I'll only reach when I hit rock bottom.

But as said, I don't want to loose my job, I don't want to loose my friends,... and I think that is what keeps me hovering on the border between sick and tired of it and just being "ok" with how everything is right now.