Always the same: No interest after first date! Please help!

[ChrisFloyd]

Well.. You haven't met the right one yet.

And internet is not a very good place to meet people, especially women also.

 

[jcjetty]

Keep at it, because as stupid as this sounds, if you want to do well with the girls you currently really like - you have to no longer really like them. This is basic human psychology. We value what we cannot easily attain. You can put up an act and try to fake it like most guys do, but it won't get you far. Most communication is non verbal. They know, and it's a turn off.

So what do you do? Keep at it. Over time you'll learn what works, what doesn't, and more importantly... you'll gradually care less and less as you realize just how unimportant girls are. As you grow indifferent, your value with them increases. It's a catch 22, because as you stop caring it's not as meaningful or exciting... but that's life for you. You either die a spineless AFC, or stay in the game long enough to see yourself become an a$$hole.

its like going to the bank for a loan! If you really need it your not going to get it! If you come across like your the one for me its probably too late. If you come across like its just another date. Its game on!

 

[SgtSplacker]

Too much talk about relationships too early IMO. When I take a girl out I don't talk about relationships at all. It's all about a good time and having fun together with each other. This naturally leads to sex and after she has banged you the relationship is less a decision and more an obligation you can use to your advantage because now she is the one that wants something not you. You start your relationship on that foot and you are in good standing.

 

[yuppaz]

Your EASY and not at all a challenge to the girls you are OVERLY interested in on your first date. Think of it as the male version of the fugly female slut that will hang out but never bang and isn't very interesting.

You are not giving them the gift of mystery (aka making them wonder about if you like them or not),

You are instead being very overt that you like them.

Like a dog chasing its owner around happy for any attention. Women (esp. those in demand) are much, much more attracted to hot, confident men who they aren't sure are into them or not.

So with the ones you want, do this differently:

1. Stop complimenting them - The MOST you are allowed to say is 1 time "You look nice" - that's it
2. Do NOT touch them first. have a good time, be close enough but let HER touch you first. That is the invitation to touch her SOME
3. Absolutely make the move to kiss them at the end of the date, even if she rejects you it will get her mind turning and keep you thoroughly out of friends zone
4. Do NOT call them the next day after the date. Let them call you. Even if you f*ck her
5. If they don't call you, wait 4 days and text a max of 3 back and forth before you ask her out again.
6. No texting in between dates. The phone is for setting up dates ONLY
7. Hang back w/ body language on dates don't lean in
8. SHUT UP, let her talk about herself, try to get to know as much about her ask you can, while having a light hearted, good time.
9. When she asks about you, give her as little information as possible
10. Be a gentleman, but still have fun and joke around, tease her etc.
11. DOn't answer her phone calls and texts etc. right away, take your time sometimes texting back and call her later.
12. Don't be overly available, sometimes if she proposes a day / time to get together tell her you have plans.

 

[Huffman]

2. Do NOT touch them first. have a good time, be close enough but let HER touch you first. That is the invitation to touch her SOME

Just commenting here; this may not solve the problem because alot of girls don't just start touching. So the sexual escalation never happens during the date. What are you to do, break it off because interest is too low?

 

[Jordski]

This was so me before i found this site which not long ago. Im glad that i read some great stuff first in here before i even make a thread like this. Basically i used to put women that i have high IL on pedestal, too busy thinking about how am i gonna game her, treat her right, and yada yada.. Then i wonder what could go wrong after the first date. I even asked one of them like "why arent you texting me as much as you used to?" Or even cringey sh1t like "am i boring you?" (See i was playing the women part here). But i never had a problem with women i had low IL with. Treated them normally, text them only when i got bored, ask them out on last minute.. But these are the girls that I usually end up having sex with. Well Im basically treating women all the same now, no more fvking pedestal sh1t. At least we've learned something bro.

 

[LiveFreeX]

go to asia.

 

[Jordski]

Matter of fact, I live in Asia, your point is?

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I think it is ok to care. Becoming an autistic **** on legs won't make you happy. The problem is with overinvesting. When you date the high interest girls suddenly you worry that you will say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, and she will leave or worse dislike you. You are overinvested in the outcome. Any time you can't tell someone to leave if they don't like it you have given them too much power.

I have a fwb. I care about her. I really like her but she knows I could walk out tomorrow if she pissed me off. That is the difference.

As for your dating strategy, dinner dates are try-hard, boring and awkward. Do something fun instead. Don't try so hard to impress.

It sounds like you are trying to collect trophies. Wrong mindset. What you want to do is go out and have fun with a woman. If it leads to sex, great. If not you had a nice time anyway. Also quit planning your endgame before you have mastered the middle game.

 

[Dynamited]

Grea topic. I feel you as I'm getting the same problem from time to time to. This involves girls i'm into and on the fence about.

I've had great first dates and the girl went MIA after. I've had ok first dates which made it all the way to the bedroom.

The thing is you can't control how these girls think and behave. The guys here made many good point on how to behave and what to excpect.

It does rub on your confidence at times when you felt getting a 2nd date was a no brainer and it didn't turn out that way. But if you want to win, you need to learn to lose as well.

Just keep dating as many girls and work on those that give you good interest signals. Makes life easier for you.