Alpha widow for men is BPD ex

[Pandora]

For some reason im cold towards other women after my BPD ex. I cant connect. I feel like my neurons for infatuation have burned out. I cant feel that chemical high of limerence anymore. I can only feel it for the BPD. This happens even when i meet other hotter girls. I feel like i have been Alpha widowed (BPD widowed) in this case. Those BPD chemical highs and lows were way too intense. Sane girls can not compete.

My game has gotten a lot better because of this. Girls sense the coldness. The indifference. Its like im just going through the motions. I dont get mad if a girl flakes ( rarely happens) I dont react too strongly to sh*t tests. I truly dont care. The sane girls love it. Arguments with sane girls are a cake walk now. After fighting with a BPD, fighting with a sane girl is a cake walk.

I have a new girlfriend who is in the same hotness range as my BPD ex. Not much difference. The new girl is probably a tad less hot but they are both 7+ easily. The new girl is relatively mentally stable. Besides her not cooking and eating out too much she is good. Most guys would be happy to date her. For some reason i cant feel passionate about her and other women.

I imagine that this is what it feels like for a girl to be Alpha widowed. Did any of you guys have this experience after a break up with a BPD?

 

[exhausted]

For some reason im cold towards other women after my BPD ex. I cant connect. I feel like my neurons for infatuation have burned out. I cant feel that chemical high of limerence anymore. I can only feel it for the BPD. This happens even when i meet other hotter girls. I feel like i have been Alpha widowed (BPD widowed) in this case. Those BPD chemical highs and lows were way too intense. Sane girls can not compete.

My game has gotten a lot better because of this. Girls sense the coldness. The indifference. Its like im just going through the motions. I dont get mad if a girl flakes ( rarely happens) I dont react too strongly to sh*t tests. I truly dont care. The sane girls love it. Arguments with sane girls are a cake walk now. After fighting with a BPD, fighting with a sane girl is a cake walk.

I have a new girlfriend who is in the same hotness range as my BPD ex. Not much difference. The new girl is probably a tad less hot but they are both 7+ easily. The new girl is relatively mentally stable. Besides her not cooking and eating out too much she is good. Most guys would be happy to date her. For some reason i cant feel passionate about her and other women.

I imagine that this is what it feels like for a girl to be Alpha widowed. Did any of you guys have this experience after a break up with a BPD?

This is very normal and common. I was married to a borderline and my God after that I was pulling girls left and right it was almost ridiculous(was the same as you didnt care and had that oh well and bad boy attitude they ate up) and for a few years after I just got rid of one great girl and another after another. The reason- a borderline or bipolar ltr is abuse. You have been abused emotionally, spiritually and probably physically. Give yourself time and try your best not to take it out on your new gf, as tough as that will be. If you open up to her about it a bit she may have some understanding. Some of the girls I let go I am very good friends with today and they all tell me they knew I was emotionally distraught and they felt for me, were more attracted to me for it as they , unlike bpd, were compassionate. good luck

 

[Pandora]

Its "first love" syndrome. You'll get over. FWIW I don't think a girl that has slightly worse looks and is draining your finances by dragging you out to eat rather than taking care of you will be enough. For me, it took time + some weird inexplicable emotional connection with a new girl that was so different than the BPD(although also a cheater as it turned out).

Was this new girl sane or was she slightly nuts? And was she as hot as the BPD?

 

[Pandora]

This is very normal and common. I was married to a borderline and my God after that I was pulling girls left and right it was almost ridiculous(was the same as you didnt care and had that oh well and bad boy attitude they ate up) and for a few years after I just got rid of one great girl and another after another. The reason- a borderline or bipolar ltr is abuse. You have been abused emotionally, spiritually and probably physically. Give yourself time and try your best not to take it out on your new gf, as tough as that will be. If you open up to her about it a bit she may have some understanding. Some of the girls I let go I am very good friends with today and they all tell me they knew I was emotionally distraught and they felt for me, were more attracted to me for it as they , unlike bpd, were compassionate. good luck

You get it man. Sounds like good advice. Have you returned back to 100%. What i mean is can you feel that same intensity as you did for the new girl in your life as you did for the BPD ex wife.

 

[exhausted]

You get it man. Sounds like good advice. Have you returned back to 100%. What i mean is can you feel that same intensity as you did for the new girl in your life as you did for the BPD ex wife.

It took me 6-7 years to finally let my guard down and go full in 100% as far as letting that wall down and fully love. However, maybe it is just me, I will never trust 100% ever again. There will always be a part of me that stays aware that anything can happen and never be surprised. Don't beat yourself up though, this is the repercussions of a bpd, I truly feel for you and wish you luck.

 

[Malcontent]

BPD chick appears to have permanently changed my psyche. But perhaps it has made me wiser and given me an advantage. Time will tell.