A threatening new guy comes into the picture, what should I do?

[Bible_Belt]

thanks, you guys put some sense into me. I'll talk to her and if there's a slightest resistance or disrespect I'll probably end it or start detaching myself.

I have a feeling that you'll just make it worse. "We have to talk" never fixes anything for a guy. Serious, awkward talks about your hurt feelings are going to kill whatever attraction she has left for you.

Just rip on her. Tease her like she is your little sister going on her very first date. "Listen, if you put out on the first date, he's not going to call again, ok?"

 

[Desdinova]

why? if she intended to cheat she wouldn't have told me that she's going out with him and how he acts to her.

No woman intends to cheat. They (and their BFs) allow them to be sucked into a situation that leads to cheating.

threat to our relationship (if not stopped). yes, we're exclusive, but only since 2 days ago. what if she just sees him as an innocent guy friend? but I'll talk to her about this and redefine the boundaries.

The only threat to your relationship in this situation is HER. She's in a committed relationship with you. She isn't respecting you as her companion. This has nothing to do with your trust in her, it has to do with her respect for you as her sexual partner and companion. If she's inviting other interested men into her world, then she's not showing respect for your relationship status.

You can fvcking tell her that too. A woman who entertains the idea of keeping interested men around OTHER than her exclusive lover is a wh0re. You have every right to be concerned about this. It's in your nature to protect your investments, and you've already invested your time with this woman. If she's entertaining other men, then she's wasting your invested time and tarnishing your relationship.

The best thing to do is tell her that if she continues to disrespect you, then you'll leave her ass for a woman who shows value in you as a man and a companion.

 

[Fela Kuti]

OK so I laid it down to her, basically saying we're not on the same page (yet) regarding our perception of boundaries and she said fine if you want mine to match yours, with a slightly annoyed tone, without any effort to convince me that nothing will happen between them or at least the slightest thing to regain my trust. But I left it at that without commenting further. I think a breakup is imminent...

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

Personally, I wouldn't waste my time with a woman who is spending an evening alone with another guy when she already has a boyfriend. Any woman who's worth your time will know that's not acceptable behavior and she wouldn't agree to it. Maybe OP wasn't acting masculine, or maybe she's just a cheater, but either way it doesn't matter. That kind of behavior from a woman is not acceptable.

In my opinion, this does not qualify as a **** test and is simply her getting ready to dump you but is too afraid of not having a guy's attention that she doesn't dump you before going after other guys. A **** test is her feigning interest so she has a chance to see you be confident, or not. You call her, she doesn't answer, and you don't contact her again until she contacts you. She wants to make sure you're confident enough not to chase her and that she wants you just a little bit more than you want her. Her going out with other guys alone? That's not a **** test, that's just cheating.

IMO OP, dump her right now, tell her straight up you're not interested in a woman who wants to go out with other guys. Keep it short, simple, then walk away. There's way too many worthwhile women out there to meet, so don't waste another second on a cheater. Don't ignore warning signs of a woman who isn't LTR material if an LTR is what you're looking for.

 

[foreverAFC]

when your gf tells you she is going to go watch a movie with another guy, you are supposed to never talk to her again and find a new gf

 

[Atom Smasher]

Agreed. Dump.