1 week in No Contact and then contact- advice needed

[samspade]

She might fukk you but...my spidey sense tells me she just wants to make sure she still has you on her hook. Beware the takeaway...

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She might fukk you but...my spidey sense tells me she just wants to make sure she still has you on her hook. Beware the takeaway...

Right he should a changed that to drink at one of their places and frame it around sex.

 

[arathorngr]

If she wants a relationship again she will not put up at this first post breakup date.
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.

Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.

I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.

Am i wrong?

 

[samspade]

If she wants a relationship again she will not put up at this first post breakup date.
I wont make a big deal out of it if she doesn't.

Of course i will make my advances nevertheless.
After this date communication is key. If she is joyfull and flirty i'm back and we may have a proper chance.

I remind you that she is 36, not a 22 yo looking for just sex. Somewhere in her head there is family, kids etc.
I must prove that i can be a stable loving man not only a sexy one that aroused her with his NC and nonchalance.
Balance is key now and i must think clearly.

Am i wrong?

Stupid question from me, but have you already slept with her?

 

[arathorngr]

Stupid question from me, but have you already slept with her?

Well, yes. Multiple times

 

[Malcontent]

Maybe it's part of being older and more jaded, but when someone shows me once that they don't value what I offer, we're done. There's no guessing, no hoop jumping.

 

[arathorngr]

Maybe it's part of being older and more jaded, but when someone shows me once that they don't value what I offer, we're done. There's no guessing, no hoop jumping.

Let's see how it goes today. I'm sure that she will do some explaining, even if i don't steer the conversation to what exactly happened.
My intent is to keep it lighthearted and fun, nothing too serious or "pushy".
Of course i will kiss close and try to bed her- friend zone is not accepted.

 

[dude99]

Beautiful girl, 36 yo.
Hit it off for 3 months, smooth sailing till 2 weeks ago when she became distant.
Chased (a bit), we finally broke up (her choice, she said too many things happen in her life and all this crap)
I agreed, said "ok, call me if you ever want to" and went NC.

Yesterday she SMSed me. Did not respond.
She sent another text saying that my non response is rude.
Did not respond to that too.

How to play it from here?

Just say " was too busy saving the world to answer. What's up?"

If she trys small talk. Ignore her. If she wants to talk serious like fixing things with you, if you want to get back together with her, the ball is now in your court. If you dont the just tell her you have too much going on in your life and you will get back to her....on your schedule....if you have time.

 

[arathorngr]

UPDATE
Last night we had our first post breakup date. She was a bit nervous, but in a couple of minutes she became the woman i used to remember, when all things were good between us.
We had a few beers, we laughed, we kissed. Heavy kino, we both became rather sexual.
I chose not to be indifferent, i clearly showed to her that i like her as a woman but i also listened about her daily routines, her problems, etc. etc. Not anything heavy, I did not steer the conversation to "us", but she kept mentioning things we did together in the past and things that she would like to do again.
She was on her period (it's not a lie), sex was not an option that day. I don't mind, i can wait some days.
We parted in a very good mood, she told me to call her to meet again whenever i want to. "Next time it will be at my place and you will come", I said. She agreed saying "of course i will"

Today she sent me a goodmorning text, i replied in the same manner.
Ball is in my court now, I guess. I will keep things light and simple and see how it goes.
She knows that she has no option to flake again.

What do you think?

 

[arathorngr]

The respond with this "Hey, sorry. I didn't know if I should respond - I am dating someone else now and it isn't really appropriate. Hope things are going well for you too."

BAM!

Read my last post. We went out yesterday.

 

[arathorngr]

I did read that after. Hopefully you can use the sage wisdom for next time .

So you disagree with the way i handled the whole situation?

 

[arathorngr]

Talked again. Date set for today, my place for drinks and -of course- sex.
Managed to turn around this one, for now.

FWB status seems pretty feasible, don't know about LTR or stability yet. She'll have to make me trust her again.