Anyways, I am in high school right now senior year and I am having a serious lack of social connections and especially friends.
MY BACKGROUND- if it helps
I am from african and I just moved to Maryland this past summer . At my new school, I am really having trouble getting to know people and have friends I hangout with. The first 2 weeks of school I didn't have somebody to sit with but after that I found people from my own country and I sit with them at lunch (all girls and one dude and they are sophomores). Back in africa, I was semi popular. I had many guy friends I hangout with(Wasn't good with girls though) But here I don't know why but I can't get friends. I came in late 3 weeks to school so new people had alerday made friends too.
Anyways, Anytime I see these guys with these thick beautiful girls, It just hits me and I can't ignore the fact I'm an outcast. I did join a team (soccer) and made some friends there but they aren't that deep friends that invite me out or stuff and we gradually drifted as the season came to an end. We greet and five each other but not more than that. The only thing that makes me happy about life now is my family and the prospect of starting over in college.
So sorry for the long intro, These are my questions to atleast finish high school without regretting it. Maybe a prom finale if you know what I mean I need serious help so please be as descriptive as u can or write an article on it soon.
1) How can I change my reputation( even though I had only 1 semester of school with these new people) from that silent kid to a social and sexy man? Can I? Be truthful. I literally can't find a partner in some of my classes; I know some africans and i can relate to them so in those classes i have friends, and i am akward when people go into groups. I will change most of my class and teachers 2nd semester, which is basically this week, so I might have a semi-startover, what can I do better then?
2) Are high schools girls all about looks or status? I Consider my above average but skinnyness is killing me. I am black obviously. How can I balance school, gym and nutrition to gain mass?
3) My most important question: How do I befriend the one popular guy who can open a world of party invitations and hot girls ( my high school has the hottest girls, I swear no school compares)? Is it possible for me to befriend him? I can try out for Track in spring and make more friends but I think the large amount of calorie defect from my running would cause me to lose instead of gain weight. Any thoughts on that.
4) There are literally hordes of hot girls sitting next to me in my history class. How can I befriend some of them and make the ones I want like me? I know social proof is critical in high school. The question basically is how can I make friends with the guys and the hot girls in my class. I don't see any way of approaching this and I read many of your articles including the one on how to be good with people but I don't see how that relates in HS.
5) Specific: Like I told you earlier, I hangout with my African group. In this group, I really have this Boner for this girl. She is like the hottest girl in school without any makeup yet she is cool and doesn't associate herself with the fake chicks. She a sophomore tho. I don't no the culture but is sophomre-senior dating common or is it unacceptable. Even though she is in my group, I never really initiated contact with her. Sometimes she just calls me out and says stupid stuff like "Ur short" smiling and I am like "huh, I am 3 inches taller than u". But other than that we don't say hi to each other in hallways nor bus stops(I feel like she deliberately avoids my eyes) which is confusing to me. Because I am not popular in the school nor social in my group, I believe that is hurting my chances; if I have a chance. She also likes this guy from another school Anyways again sorry but background info is invaluable, what do u recommend? Tips? Steps to take? Or give up on her because she saw me as weak
6) Another girl from California who transferred this semester, it is basically her first week at this school even though she was previously at this school. She is fine as hell. She hasn't seen me regular to come to decisions so I might have a chance with her. She is in my government class. I basically sit with my 2 african female friends and I don't talk that much. The teacher will arrange a seating arrangement but till then she is in the other end of the room. Any approach to her?
7. I think I have major conversation and overthinking problems. These are my believed problems: Dull Voice, Trip up some words sometimes because I am not used to talking in english, I sometimes sweat slightly when I don't have answers right away. My major problem though is I can't relate to things to talk about. Like with Other people they talk about football, parties, ... and stuff I can't really relate to. And with my group they are all talking girl stuff like who's cute and who asked out who... and I can only talk to them moderately when they talk bout other stuff. How can I relate to different people? Study them or wat? How do I jump from polite conversation to deep, funny and friendship building conversation?
8. Any adicve on being humorous and playful and funny in HS, i think it is very important in HS more than anywhere else since everyone is not an adult yet. I don't see a picture of me and someone in my high school having a really deep conversation as I envision college or adults do. Anyways advice on becoming funny, who I could try to replicate and learn from.
9. Any fashion, grooming, style tips you have for HS students. Should I just follow the norm. I have a sexy haircut. My problem is with finding clothes that fit me. I am 5'8, 110 pounds. Skinny as pencil so that is right now my major priority.
10. My second most improtant question: Which job do u think I should get to be more social and Develop social skills?
- Retail at Hollister:
Pros: I believe it has many young high school and college students working there.
- Discounts in clothing
- Ability to interact with primarily young and hot customers.
Cons: Very boring I think. Folding clothes for 4 hours a day is too much I think
II) Waiter at TGI fridays;
Pros: Many tips
: Co worker relationships are usually more supportive.
Cons: I don't think many customers and Co workers are young people.
Final question: Which job out of the two is more productive? And which restaurants or retails that exist in almost all states you know of attract a lot of young students or attract young workers?
11) How can I make friends now, since I changed classes for 2nd sem ester of senior year, I have a semi chance to reinvent myself. How can I become more than classroom close to girls and the guys so that they invite me.
Most importantly, Thank you in advance for helping out. I feel like I wrote a book but better than staying miserable. I hope you reply since that was a long post. Any college tips welcome to.
MY BACKGROUND- if it helps
I am from african and I just moved to Maryland this past summer . At my new school, I am really having trouble getting to know people and have friends I hangout with. The first 2 weeks of school I didn't have somebody to sit with but after that I found people from my own country and I sit with them at lunch (all girls and one dude and they are sophomores). Back in africa, I was semi popular. I had many guy friends I hangout with(Wasn't good with girls though) But here I don't know why but I can't get friends. I came in late 3 weeks to school so new people had alerday made friends too.
Anyways, Anytime I see these guys with these thick beautiful girls, It just hits me and I can't ignore the fact I'm an outcast. I did join a team (soccer) and made some friends there but they aren't that deep friends that invite me out or stuff and we gradually drifted as the season came to an end. We greet and five each other but not more than that. The only thing that makes me happy about life now is my family and the prospect of starting over in college.
So sorry for the long intro, These are my questions to atleast finish high school without regretting it. Maybe a prom finale if you know what I mean
I need serious help so please be as descriptive as u can or write an article on it soon.1) How can I change my reputation( even though I had only 1 semester of school with these new people) from that silent kid to a social and sexy man? Can I? Be truthful. I literally can't find a partner in some of my classes; I know some africans and i can relate to them so in those classes i have friends, and i am akward when people go into groups. I will change most of my class and teachers 2nd semester, which is basically this week, so I might have a semi-startover, what can I do better then?
2) Are high schools girls all about looks or status? I Consider my above average but skinnyness is killing me. I am black obviously. How can I balance school, gym and nutrition to gain mass?
3) My most important question: How do I befriend the one popular guy who can open a world of party invitations and hot girls ( my high school has the hottest girls, I swear no school compares)? Is it possible for me to befriend him? I can try out for Track in spring and make more friends but I think the large amount of calorie defect from my running would cause me to lose instead of gain weight. Any thoughts on that.
4) There are literally hordes of hot girls sitting next to me in my history class. How can I befriend some of them and make the ones I want like me? I know social proof is critical in high school. The question basically is how can I make friends with the guys and the hot girls in my class. I don't see any way of approaching this and I read many of your articles including the one on how to be good with people but I don't see how that relates in HS.
5) Specific: Like I told you earlier, I hangout with my African group. In this group, I really have this Boner for this girl. She is like the hottest girl in school without any makeup yet she is cool and doesn't associate herself with the fake chicks. She a sophomore tho. I don't no the culture but is sophomre-senior dating common or is it unacceptable. Even though she is in my group, I never really initiated contact with her. Sometimes she just calls me out and says stupid stuff like "Ur short" smiling and I am like "huh, I am 3 inches taller than u". But other than that we don't say hi to each other in hallways nor bus stops(I feel like she deliberately avoids my eyes) which is confusing to me. Because I am not popular in the school nor social in my group, I believe that is hurting my chances; if I have a chance. She also likes this guy from another school Anyways again sorry but background info is invaluable, what do u recommend? Tips? Steps to take? Or give up on her because she saw me as weak
6) Another girl from California who transferred this semester, it is basically her first week at this school even though she was previously at this school. She is fine as hell. She hasn't seen me regular to come to decisions so I might have a chance with her. She is in my government class. I basically sit with my 2 african female friends and I don't talk that much. The teacher will arrange a seating arrangement but till then she is in the other end of the room. Any approach to her?
7. I think I have major conversation and overthinking problems. These are my believed problems: Dull Voice, Trip up some words sometimes because I am not used to talking in english, I sometimes sweat slightly when I don't have answers right away. My major problem though is I can't relate to things to talk about. Like with Other people they talk about football, parties, ... and stuff I can't really relate to. And with my group they are all talking girl stuff like who's cute and who asked out who... and I can only talk to them moderately when they talk bout other stuff. How can I relate to different people? Study them or wat? How do I jump from polite conversation to deep, funny and friendship building conversation?
8. Any adicve on being humorous and playful and funny in HS, i think it is very important in HS more than anywhere else since everyone is not an adult yet. I don't see a picture of me and someone in my high school having a really deep conversation as I envision college or adults do. Anyways advice on becoming funny, who I could try to replicate and learn from.
9. Any fashion, grooming, style tips you have for HS students. Should I just follow the norm. I have a sexy haircut. My problem is with finding clothes that fit me. I am 5'8, 110 pounds. Skinny as pencil so that is right now my major priority.
10. My second most improtant question: Which job do u think I should get to be more social and Develop social skills?
- Retail at Hollister:
Pros: I believe it has many young high school and college students working there.
- Discounts in clothing
- Ability to interact with primarily young and hot customers.
Cons: Very boring I think. Folding clothes for 4 hours a day is too much I think
II) Waiter at TGI fridays;
Pros: Many tips
: Co worker relationships are usually more supportive.
Cons: I don't think many customers and Co workers are young people.
Final question: Which job out of the two is more productive? And which restaurants or retails that exist in almost all states you know of attract a lot of young students or attract young workers?
11) How can I make friends now, since I changed classes for 2nd sem ester of senior year, I have a semi chance to reinvent myself. How can I become more than classroom close to girls and the guys so that they invite me.
Most importantly, Thank you in advance for helping out. I feel like I wrote a book but better than staying miserable. I hope you reply since that was a long post. Any college tips welcome to.
