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Any older,divorced guys miss talking about your kids with ex-wife?

XR 600

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Hey Guys,
Been divorced 15 yrs..kids are now grown,20 and 25.I get along fine with the ex,no problems now that child $upport is over,etc.I have to say I miss talking about the kids with her...unless I call her first,she doesn't contact me as well about them.I feel as though I have to be the one to reach out..Anyone experience this? Thanks..XR.
 

LiveYourDream

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In my opinion you should be finding out about your kids from your kids directly. They are adults now. There is no reason to triangulate your ex back in. Stop it! If there is an emergency with one of your kids, than by all means contact her. Otherwise, move out of the past and into the present. She's your ex. If you feel lonely and want someone to talk to, develop new friendships and/or find a new significant other. Leave your ex alone already! It has been 15 years! Get on with your life. Don't be creepy!
 

Tictac

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No. They live with me when they visit and don't see her except for a few hours on Christmas day. She has had little to do with them since '08.

Her loss. They are great people.
 
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sodbuster

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I miss nothing about my ex. The only thing I miss is the joy I had the day she left for good
 

Augustus_McCrae

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I don't get the impression that XR 600 is interested in the ex. I believe what he may be referring to is the sense of loss you feel that you can't communicate with the only other person in the world who knows as much about your children as you do.

There are things that only my ex and I experienced with our kids. Memories of them as little children and as developing adults. Sometimes your ex is the only other person in the world who has the same perspective and common experience that you do with regard to your kids. Things in the past and present that would have been nice to share if you had not divorced.

-Augustus-
 

Tictac

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I don't get the impression that XR 600 is interested in the ex. I believe what he may be referring to is the sense of loss you feel that you can't communicate with the only other person in the world who knows as much about your children as you do.

There are things that only my ex and I experienced with our kids. Memories of them as little children and as developing adults. Sometimes your ex is the only other person in the world who has the same perspective and common experience that you do with regard to your kids. Things in the past and present that would have been nice to share if you had not divorced.

-Augustus-
That's all true. She is the only one there for the beginning. But she's gone now. And in my case (and others from the sound of it) after poisoning the well.

I share these stories with my kids now. It gives them a lot of good things to think about and a sense of family.

Nothing I can think of, other than a serious life emergency for one of our kids, will cause me to reach out to my ex. She scorched the earth and inherited the wind. I'm done.
 
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speed dawg

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Hey Guys,
Been divorced 15 yrs..kids are now grown,20 and 25.I get along fine with the ex,no problems now that child $upport is over,etc.I have to say I miss talking about the kids with her...unless I call her first,she doesn't contact me as well about them.I feel as though I have to be the one to reach out..Anyone experience this? Thanks..XR.
It's a funny thing. No matter what anyone will admit, you'll always have a tie to your ex. Not because you all had sex, but because you created a PERSON (or multiple people) together. Just reality. I don't think it's normal to sometimes have a longing to just think about or be with that person. You just have to realize that there is a reason it did not stay intact. Reflect on it, but don't act on it. Let it go.
 

dustmuffin

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I don't want to talk to my exwife period. She annoys me to no end.
 

Desdinova

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My ex was never home when we were married, so we didn't really talk about our child. I just did stuff with him and didn't bother telling her fvck all. I figured if she's too busy hanging out with her friends and potentially fvcking someone else, she doesn't deserve to know how much fun me and my boy have.
 

XR 600

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Thanks Guys,
Augustus hit it right on the head..its a sense of loss..it bugs me from time to time.I had a 8 yr LTR, I talked with her about them,but its not the same.
 

Prime_Beef

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No, not at all.
I still remember an expensive lesson..
"Why does divorce cost so much?"

"Coz it's worth it! "

Nice handle btw.
Xr600 probably best ever made.
 

Powersurgeon

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No. And now that they are adults (your kids) is a great time to build a strong relationship with them, if she wants to to the same from her side, great but you have no place in there. You are both their parents but now you work your parenting role separeted from hers.
 
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