Plate ("Crush") just broke up with boyfriend, how to act now ?

[DocFaustus]

Hello my dear friends in SS
Recently I've been keeping a physical journal rather than posting here, maybe I'll update the thread this week.
Thing is I need your wisdom, since my crush just broke up with her boyfriend, and I want to act and turn her into a plate, thing is, I acted like a friend before, I even tried to give her advice when they were just having a rough time (nothing much afc, just said that she should confront reality instead of sheltering herself from it), since I was told her relationship was pretty strong, so I didn't want to be delusional and hurt my afc part of the brain.
We are also going to start studying together and thursday afternoon in school for 1h30min, I'm going to help her with physics (I just purposed this so I could review some physics for my exam).

Now this was a game changer. Thing is, officially she isn't my league,I don't care for those leagues, I'm good as who I am. She's a bit of a diva, has lots of guys after her, not really hot, but has a "aura" that just spells sexy.
Now, I mostly contact with her by twitter, I kiss her to say "Hi" in school, she doesn't show much interest, I'm friend with some friends of her, I believe she considers me a friend.

How can I turn the tides into my favour ? She has tweeted a lot about the situation, saying she wants to be single until she's 30, the usual stuff. Tons of guys hitting on her now, I think she likes it obviously.

Any tips SS ?

 

[DocFaustus]

Thought about that, thing is, my town is dead. I have a cinema like 30/1h by bus and not sure if anything else.
And since it's raining most of time now, outdoor activities aren't the best option.

 

[Anima]

Thought about that, thing is, my town is dead. I have a cinema like 30/1h by bus and not sure if anything else.
And since it's raining most of time now, outdoor activities aren't the best option.

As a chef, I'm a big fan of going to restaurants. My tourist location is full of culturally diverse restaurants, and I just love to go experience all of that. So you could go get food with her, though I've found that it's hard to make moves during. Anyway, it doesn't have to be so generically "date-like". It can be anywhere. In fact, the more unique, the better.

 

[Eph]

Since this is someone who you already made an impression on (a friendly one at that), I'd say you have no chance changing her perception of you now. That is, unless she already had feelings for you, kept them under wraps while she had a boyfriend and you didn't put yourself in the friendzone at the beginning. That said, ask her out, make your intentions clear, and see where it leads. I don't think you can salvage this, but crazier things have happened. Always remember "she can't say 'yes' if you don't ask".

 

[DocFaustus]

I love you guys for some reason right now.. I simply am happy because I didn't really believe this could happen and damn it did. Well nothing is clear yet but today my school had campaign to elect an commitee of students. This girl was in a group with some friends of mine running for it, (there were more 5 groups running as well). So my day was basically go around giving things away and starting chatting to girls and showing my newly shaved head (chicks dig the shaved head), result: got 3 numbers. And probably will get more tomorrow, since I didn't actually intend to do this I just thought about too late ahaha

Well, basically the girl came to school in the last 45 min I was there, I went to her, and asked how the things had went (in the party she went and the boyfriend was there), she had cried so I said, "you lost the bet" (she had forgotten about the bet), so I said, "Don't try to escape, you lost the bet, you owe me something.", then I told her to come with me outside school to a bar where some students go, to make more campaign (*coff coff*), I said that the right thing to do was for her to pay me a coffee or ice cream, then I asked when she left at 16pm (the sooner people in her year end their classes) and she said it was only on the day of studying.. BUT she was going to cancel the discipline, so we didnt need to study, so we could go, she asked me, where I wanted to go, and I said "I don't know this "city" properly, surprise me", so we agreed. Then I came with the workout date thing to my mind and said, "You were complaining about not going to the gymn, so I challenge you to come to train with me in the castle's park (the park is near the local castle.. and extremely beautiful place)" and she said she was free on wednesday because she was going to cancel physics, but only next week because she couldn't cancel it at time to go this week.

She kept saying for me to give my charming face, I asked her what face was that, and she replied.. you normal face, the one you always do (ego boost xd).
We came back to school, she asked me to take a photo, and she jumped on my back (giving me a good chance to have to hold her legs so she wouldn't fall.. very good), then I told her to give me her number, done. She only asked me to put the photos on twitter or send by pm.

Came home, slept a bit and went training, when I came back I remembered put on twitter with caption "I'm probably going to get a back problem, but you are not that bad" , she replied later with "We are so seductive". Then she took the photo, put a filter on it and posted it with the caption "You are a love when you want" with heart smiley and another one. I just replied.. "It's not when I want, it's when you deserve it.".

Just to conclude the twitter saga, I'm logging off or I will think too much, but, she posted a thing like "After all, this will be way easier to forget. Alleludja !" I thought, I think it's talking about the breakup but I don't want to read too much into it, then she tweets "I take tons of times to forget stuff, but when I do that guy remembers to say he misses me... to you (point exclamation mark point)" .. so confirmed. And somehow this happenned..

Guess the point is to show your intentions, be clear, be a man and have fun living. I haven't anything confirmed yet.. but still, great day boys !

Ps- Just got a notification, the girl added the photo with filter to facebook with caption "The new Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt".. well, I think this is good. Also a girl just texted me asking me if I had a girlfriend. what a day

 

[NSX-R]

I love you guys for some reason right now.. I simply am happy because I didn't really believe this could happen and damn it did. Well nothing is clear yet but today my school had campaign to elect an commitee of students. This girl was in a group with some friends of mine running for it, (there were more 5 groups running as well). So my day was basically go around giving things away and starting chatting to girls and showing my newly shaved head (chicks dig the shaved head), result: got 3 numbers. And probably will get more tomorrow, since I didn't actually intend to do this I just thought about too late ahaha

Well, basically the girl came to school in the last 45 min I was there, I went to her, and asked how the things had went (in the party she went and the boyfriend was there), she had cried so I said, "you lost the bet" (she had forgotten about the bet), so I said, "Don't try to escape, you lost the bet, you owe me something.", then I told her to come with me outside school to a bar where some students go, to make more campaign (*coff coff*), I said that the right thing to do was for her to pay me a coffee or ice cream, then I asked when she left at 16pm (the sooner people in her year end their classes) and she said it was only on the day of studying.. BUT she was going to cancel the discipline, so we didnt need to study, so we could go, she asked me, where I wanted to go, and I said "I don't know this "city" properly, surprise me", so we agreed. Then I came with the workout date thing to my mind and said, "You were complaining about not going to the gymn, so I challenge you to come to train with me in the castle's park (the park is near the local castle.. and extremely beautiful place)" and she said she was free on wednesday because she was going to cancel physics, but only next week because she couldn't cancel it at time to go this week.

She kept saying for me to give my charming face, I asked her what face was that, and she replied.. you normal face, the one you always do (ego boost xd).
We came back to school, she asked me to take a photo, and she jumped on my back (giving me a good chance to have to hold her legs so she wouldn't fall.. very good), then I told her to give me her number, done. She only asked me to put the photos on twitter or send by pm.

Came home, slept a bit and went training, when I came back I remembered put on twitter with caption "I'm probably going to get a back problem, but you are not that bad" , she replied later with "We are so seductive". Then she took the photo, put a filter on it and posted it with the caption "You are a love when you want" with heart smiley and another one. I just replied.. "It's not when I want, it's when you deserve it.".

Just to conclude the twitter saga, I'm logging off or I will think too much, but, she posted a thing like "After all, this will be way easier to forget. Alleludja !" I thought, I think it's talking about the breakup but I don't want to read too much into it, then she tweets "I take tons of times to forget stuff, but when I do that guy remembers to say he misses me... to you (point exclamation mark point)" .. so confirmed. And somehow this happenned..

Guess the point is to show your intentions, be clear, be a man and have fun living. I haven't anything confirmed yet.. but still, great day boys !

Ps- Just got a notification, the girl added the photo with filter to facebook with caption "The new Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt".. well, I think this is good. Also a girl just texted me asking me if I had a girlfriend. what a day

Good job dude. You made some nice moves except for the "I don't know this "city" properly, surprise me", that was a beta move because you asked from her to lead you but it's a normal mistake,you're gonna learn. Lead her ,not the opposite.

This social network thing seems too dangerous in my eyes. She seems to claim you as her boyfriend or something without even having any physical contact with you. She has to slow down a bit or make your move now that the iron is hot.

 

[DocFaustus]

Good job dude. You made some nice moves except for the "I don't know this "city" properly, surprise me", that was a beta move because you asked from her to lead you but it's a normal mistake,you're gonna learn. Lead her ,not the opposite.

This social network thing seems too dangerous in my eyes. She seems to claim you as her boyfriend or something without even having any physical contact with you. She has to slow down a bit or make your move now that the iron is hot.

I'm even better now that she basically tried to friendzoned me. She kept either showing interest as pushing me to friendzone.
We went to eat lunch at a restaurant, I paid (dumb I know), she kept talking about her ex and stuff and I didn't know what to say really.. eventually I rushed it to stop.
She then published another pic, saying something like "this guys is the greatest" I didn't even comment, I just sent her a message saying we had to talk. Then in school, before one of her classes I went to her and told her I didn't see her as a friend, she said we would talk later cuz she had to go to class. Next day I went to greet her and her colleagues and she just said "Now I can't talk." (bit*hy voice and all) and I replied "Neither can I, but since I'm a gentleman I normally say Hi to people I know" and went ahead to greet her colleagues. 1/2 weeks later I haven't properly talked to her, she didn't come to me to talk, I'm not going to talk to her. When I see her I greet her with the usual kiss in the cheek, nothing else, same treatment I give to my acquaintances. No time for this kind of behaviours.

I don't blame her, if I am mad at someone it's at myself, at least I shouldn't have let this develop to this stage. I'm still learning and I had some big AFC moments, but I'm changing my attitude and that's why I'm here.

 

[NSX-R]

I'm even better now that she basically tried to friendzoned me. She kept either showing interest as pushing me to friendzone.
We went to eat lunch at a restaurant, I paid (dumb I know), she kept talking about her ex and stuff and I didn't know what to say really.. eventually I rushed it to stop.
She then published another pic, saying something like "this guys is the greatest" I didn't even comment, I just sent her a message saying we had to talk. Then in school, before one of her classes I went to her and told her I didn't see her as a friend, she said we would talk later cuz she had to go to class. Next day I went to greet her and her colleagues and she just said "Now I can't talk." (bit*hy voice and all) and I replied "Neither can I, but since I'm a gentleman I normally say Hi to people I know" and went ahead to greet her colleagues. 1/2 weeks later I haven't properly talked to her, she didn't come to me to talk, I'm not going to talk to her. When I see her I greet her with the usual kiss in the cheek, nothing else, same treatment I give to my acquaintances. No time for this kind of behaviours.

I don't blame her, if I am mad at someone it's at myself, at least I shouldn't have let this develop to this stage. I'm still learning and I had some big AFC moments, but I'm changing my attitude and that's why I'm here.

You should had escalate with more aggressive kino. Never confess your feelings to any woman out there. It makes you vulnerable.

Go no contact and stop giving her kisses on the cheek or hugs. It makes you look like an orbiter.

Also a good technique i have tried personally ( I don't know if it's going to work with you) is to claim her as your friend for ex: " you are such a good friend " . It gets her off guard and she will start to think that her value in your eyes has fallen. Still don't give her much attention and try to pick up chicks when she's around and talk to her the same as you would with your friends. In 6 months you will be her only topic of discussion.

Keep on practicing, no matter how much of knowledge you grab from here it's nothing compared to real experience. And spin more plates.

 

[DocFaustus]

You should had escalate with more aggressive kino. Never confess your feelings to any woman out there. It makes you vulnerable.

Go no contact and stop giving her kisses on the cheek or hugs. It makes you look like an orbiter.

Also a good technique i have tried personally ( I don't know if it's going to work with you) is to claim her as your friend for ex: " you are such a good friend " . It gets her off guard and she will start to think that her value in your eyes has fallen. Still don't give her much attention and try to pick up chicks when she's around and talk to her the same as you would with your friends. In 6 months you will be her only topic of discussion.

Keep on practicing, no matter how much of knowledge you grab from here it's nothing compared to real experience. And spin more plates.

Kissing is just the standard thing you do when you say Hi to any girl in my country.. even if you just met her, if I stopped doing that it would look like I was mad at her or something. But yeah, I'll drop her to a banal friend level, I already have some other plates in mind, including 2 dates for the next weeks probably.

Just a question, do I go full no contact ? How can I claim her as a friend then ?

 

[NSX-R]

Kissing is just the standard thing you do when you say Hi to any girl in my country.. even if you just met her, if I stopped doing that it would look like I was mad at her or something. But yeah, I'll drop her to a banal friend level, I already have some other plates in mind, including 2 dates for the next weeks probably.

Just a question, do I go full no contact ? How can I claim her as a friend then ?

You either go full NC or you keep on seeing her as you do with your friends.You have to choose.

I think NC is better, carries less risks ( except if she has hot friends).

 

[DocFaustus]

So today I talked to her after 2 weeks
A mutual friend told me he thought I was being a jerk, I explained my point of view, he said that she normally acts bitchy altough she isn't. I gave it the try.
Waited for her in the school corridor, called her, usual kiss in the cheek (usual but lately I've avoided doing it to her), asked : "Wanna talk?".. She said like "Now ?! After two weeks ?", she said she thought I was ignoring her, that she had been thinking on why I was doing it and she felt a bit bad, I said I got the idea she was the one who wasn't interested in talking to me and so I didn't make the effort to talk to her. She called it a misunderstading, she said also something like: At the time I had just broken up with my boyfriend .. she seemed to be using the past tense a lot ahah
Basically, I then said you are still owing me and she "yes I know a coffee and a lunch". So yeah, at least I'm out of the friendzone and not many feelings, at least not nearly as much as two weeks ago.

I start a chat in twitter, it kinda died now, it was stupid (alotugh I'm not feeling desperate for her like before, so there's even a change in the stupidity I suffer from aahaha). but I'm seeing this things as learning by my mistakes. I'll get a coffee with her later this week, and now I've made my intentions clear it'll be easier.
Tomorrow I'm actually going to a coffee shop with another girl (one I had a thing with last year), one more training ground I guess, thing is I'm not truly interested in this girl, so I'll be avoiding any thing that might narrow my future options but without burning bridges.

If this "soft no contact" created this, I imagine what the power of a complete no contact must be.

 

[NSX-R]

So today I talked to her after 2 weeks
A mutual friend told me he thought I was being a jerk, I explained my point of view, he said that she normally acts *****y altough she isn't. I gave it the try.
Waited for her in the school corridor, called her, usual kiss in the cheek (usual but lately I've avoided doing it to her), asked : "Wanna talk?".. She said like "Now ?! After two weeks ?", she said she thought I was ignoring her, that she had been thinking on why I was doing it and she felt a bit bad, I said I got the idea she was the one who wasn't interested in talking to me and so I didn't make the effort to talk to her. She called it a misunderstading, she said also something like: At the time I had just broken up with my boyfriend .. she seemed to be using the past tense a lot ahah
Basically, I then said you are still owing me and she "yes I know a coffee and a lunch". So yeah, at least I'm out of the friendzone and not many feelings, at least not nearly as much as two weeks ago.

I start a chat in twitter, it kinda died now, it was stupid (alotugh I'm not feeling desperate for her like before, so there's even a change in the stupidity I suffer from aahaha). but I'm seeing this things as learning by my mistakes. I'll get a coffee with her later this week, and now I've made my intentions clear it'll be easier.
Tomorrow I'm actually going to a coffee shop with another girl (one I had a thing with last year), one more training ground I guess, thing is I'm not truly interested in this girl, so I'll be avoiding any thing that might narrow my future options but without burning bridges.

If this "soft no contact" created this, I imagine what the power of a complete no contact must be.

Hold your ground dude. Don't let desperation take over.

Seems like her interest levels came back a bit. Don't let this though to become yourself needy again.
I was once in the same situation, once i saw the chick had interest for me , my needy reaction pulled her away .
Act the same as you done for the last 2 weeks. The less you talk or have contact with her, the most she would value you and your every word. Try to please yourself and not her, become a bit more selfish. Escalate if you can but make actions do the talking.

Good job on spinning more plates. Try to observe yourself and the reaction of the other chick you're not interested with and you will notice something after some time.Do some kino also. Be amazed by the outcome.

 

[DocFaustus]

Plate didn't come, so I'm dumping her with No Contact, I don't like being disrespected like that.
You are getting everything right, I'm too desperate and I hate it, I will nc for sometime for some time as you said.

I've started a journal now. That will help my get into the good path. I seriously feel some disgust for this girl when I act desperate, but it's my fault, I cant change her, and my attitudes are pitiful.
There are few girls that really interest me, and because of that I tend to put them on a pedestal, I have other options that I could easily get but they just don't interest me, even though some are hot. It's like the more "out of my league" they are the more they interest me, this would be fine I guess if I didn't get all emotionally invested.

 

[DocFaustus]

I encourage you to abhor the word "crush." Never verbalize it, and never adopt it as part of your mindset. It is synonymous with putting women on a pedestal. It is not part of the DJ mindset, in my opinion.

Same goes for "out of my league." You are pedestalizing the hell out of this woman. Why feed into that kind of subservient mentality? You want to get them to see, feel, taste you on an equal or high level.

Also, I strongly encourage you to never offer a woman advice unless she asks for it.

Thanks those are indeed things that should help.. I believe the "crush" one is vital.
The "out of my league" I can't even explain, because I seem to only girls that seem harder than others, I'm not sure how to explain what makes these girls different. But I'll do my best to forsake the mentality that comes with both of those words.

 

[Skyline]

You lost your frame bro, multiple times.

"We need to talk?"

About what? You two aren't exclusive. You have absolutely nothing to talk about. You also kept messaging her on social media, you see her everyday so there is absolutely no point to be messaging her. Real life interaction is always better.

You began to jump the gun and assume things. You assumed you were together and then assumed you were friend zoned, you lost your frame. You even verbalized your interest to HER, it's okay to verbalize your interest for her to other people but never openly admit it to directly to her. You lost your frame and that's what caused this failure in my opionion.

 

[DocFaustus]

You lost your frame bro, multiple times.

"We need to talk?"

About what? You two aren't exclusive. You have absolutely nothing to talk about. You also kept messaging her on social media, you see her everyday so there is absolutely no point to be messaging her. Real life interaction is always better.

You began to jump the gun and assume things. You assumed you were together and then assumed you were friend zoned, you lost your frame. You even verbalized your interest to HER, it's okay to verbalize your interest for her to other people but never openly admit it to directly to her. You lost your frame and that's what caused this failure in my opionion.

Yeah, when I asked to reset my account here I asked to leave this thread, it's the best one I had because it showed an actual situation and well.. an actual crash ahah
My problem with losing fraim seems to be the overthinking about her, about what she meant, etc.. worried more about what she thought than anything else (that not only made me lose my frame, carrying to much about a situation it actually might have opened a way for oneitis). About direct verbalize I kinda thought it was the only way out of that too friendly feel, she kept talking about her ex and I just thought, well... I'll just say to make it clear, not sure, in part it might even have been something to convince myself I had the guts to say it.
Right now, it's pretty over with her, I'm just going as NC as before at least for some weeks to take away any feelings I might still have, maybe after the christmas break I talk to her again and go get a coffee with her, maybe not, depending on how busy I am at the time. I'm also getting rid of this problem I have of thinking to much on the other person's point of view (even dreaming in other persons point of view), I'll focus more on myself and stop overthinking everything, for that purpose I'm deleting my twitter, it's just a time waster and seems to have a bad effect on me.