Handling a BPD like a true alpha (Didnt believe in BPD before)

[Julian]

So quite a few months ago I made a thread blasting on this forum about all the BPD BS. Coincidentally a few weeks later I began dating a chick. Lets just say she fits the BPD formula perfectly. The only difference being she is not abusive toward me. She submits to me fully, but she is like a pitbulll....you can just never quite trust it.

I do have feelings for her and I feel we have developed a strong codependancy. Before I came along she said she was just depressed/had anxiety. But after a few months and my own research I realized she is fullblown BPD.

What has saved my ass is the fact I am her senior by 9 years, I am goodlooking/well off and not afraid to walk away. Those things are what keeps her in check, not to mention my sex game is the best she has had. Now the issue is I live with her...and lately she has been getting worse. At this point I see no option but to jump ship.

This chick has definitely had an effect on my outlook, but my own personal frame/power/intelligence overrided her psycho behavior 95%. The problem is she is slowly starting to become worse behaved and just acting very irrational, raging on me, crying about petty **** etc etc the whole 9 yards.

My plan is to break it to her gently and let her down easy. I think she sees it coming. She goes from "i love yous" and "ill do anything" to giving me deathstares and threatening to make me leave her place (im currently living there...but finding my own place isnt an issue i have plenty of $. The thingis I have invest alot of timeand energy into this girl/relationship and for the most part she is not any more crazy then my other exes...but there are those times where she loses herself completely and disassociates from reality/harms herself etc.

Thats some heavy **** I just cant deal with. So to you gents going through this, never be afraid to walk away and if the chick starts acting wild you need to documentit (take cellphone video etc). I have videos of my gf going nuts and being psycho and also confessing her self harm and her love for me blablabla + sex videos shes obviously consented to. This is all in an effort to cover my ass. Definitely not ending up dead or in cuffs because of this chicks unstable emotions. It sucks because otherwise she is a nice and great girl...but this side of her I cant deal with.

 

[El Payaso]

"It sucks because otherwise she is a nice and great girl...but this side of her I cant deal with."

It's not a "side" of her. It's her TRUE colors. The last thing you want to do is create a spawn with this daughter of Lucifer. Eject.

 

[Dgwizdal]

So quite a few months ago I made a thread blasting on this forum about all the BPD BS. Coincidentally a few weeks later I began dating a chick. Lets just say she fits the BPD formula perfectly.

Haha look at ya now fvckhead. Just wait till she devalues you and then brings you back in by worshipping you and having a good streak of being normal before fvcking up again. Little do you know that your fun with this broad is just beginning...

Wanna keep your sanity? DUMP and don't look back. Put her on ice and keep her as a mistress at the very least.

But you won't. And you'll be back on the crazy train for several more times before you really see the light

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Fck that BPD sheer hell. I'm similar to you OP in regards to inner strength and the ability to walk - but I got had and I admit it. Those were some dark days. Glad you got to add that to your life experience. You're not out of the woods yet though, trust me.

 

[GS750]

yeah I can admit it too...the BPD in my past was really a master at manipulation and an emotional vampire to the max. Your only option is to BLOCK on all platforms and get them out of your life for good. Otherwise they will keep coming back again and again.

 

[Atom Smasher]

...we have developed a strong codependancy.

What has saved my ass is the fact I am her senior by 9 years...

The codependency comment is why you'd better get ready for the ride of your life. When you leave her she is going to pull out all the stops to suck you back into her unhallowed vortex and you will feel guilt and anxiety like you've never felt before. You need to recognize that she is an addiction and it's going to hurt massively to remove her. But you will remove her, because she is sucking the life-force out of you.

You are her senior by 9 years? Your age says 25. She's 16 years old? 99% of 16 year olds have their head completely up their asses. Either your age is not accurate or there is something seriously weird going on here.

 

[usernamedox11]

there's a BPD chick i still regularly harass, lol, she refuses to change her # cause she likes the attention. " F**K off you're harassing me!"

 

[Julian]

Lol thanks for the replies fellas. Im actually 28 shes 21. The thing is, although she has these rages she has been easy to control for me. I am by no means some beta. Thats what I think is generally the difference. For me, I literally have a codependancy on her because physically in the real world I live with her. Emotionally yes breakups suck but it would not destroy me at all. She definitely has stressed me out before but I treat it like a childs temper tantrum. I dont lose my cool because who argues with a child?

She eventually wisens up and comes back to base...she has her psycho moments though. Regardless I am tactfully bowing out, creating her the opportunity to leave or let me go over the course of time. I know she is not a forever girl for me any longer. I think having read and done my research and recognized the signs I have been able to use that to my advantage. Like I said she is like a pitbull on a leash...and I am her master. She literally calls me master. It is a bit of a mind****. She is submissive toward me like I said and KNOWS she cannot control me. All in all regardless of the level we are at as far as our codependency, my willingness to walk at any point in time and her pedestalling of me has created the dynamic where she depends on me 90% more then I do on her.

I care for her and dont want to see her destroyed. I want to help her become a better person in any way I can without hurting her. Also, I want to create a disconnect so that her happiness doesn't completely rely on me and I can have her come to terms with us ending things. I know our future is bleak...I cant risk going to jail or having my life fukked with. Like I said i've covered my ass fully. And thankfully she hasnt shown a vindictive side...I am familiar with her and her ex bf's relationship and how it ended and she didnt do anything nasty to him or vice versa. I know she has the capacity for peace and empathy. I will do my best gentlemen thanks for the words of wisdom from some of you guys who must have delt with BPD bitches with cruel streaks and generally mean girls.

 

[usernamedox11]

Julian, as someone who has dealt with MULTIPLE BPDs, take my advice.

Get this beta/alpha **** out of your head by giving yourself pats on the back "hehe me no beta that's y I handle her." This girl is mentally sick. I don't give a fvck if you are god. Logic doesn't apply. You are lying to yourself thinking "you have the upper hand," which btw is already a recipe for a sh1t relationship when you are thinking like that. Good relationships aren't about "who has the upper hand." You care for her, you have feelings, she has the upper hand. The games and the rages will not stop. She's the one who can walk away at any moment the second she paints you black and not think twice about it. Keep a distance from her. You already made a mistake by letting her move in. This one BPD chick I know was 20, with a much older RICH BF, and he even took her first class on a vacation to europe. Guess what she did? She ended up breaking all his ****. You care for someone that can't care for you in the same way you care for her unless she is some huge exception of a self-aware BPD girl who wants to get treatment and is dedicated to getting better (which she obviously is not the exception).

But you can find out the hard way, bro. YOU CANT HELP HER. Only she can help herself by becoming self aware and actively seeking out treatment.

But if you want to go through with this, you'll walk out of this a campion as normal girls will be much easier to handle as the intensity of the feelings with them can't compare to a BPD girl.

After dealing with multiple BPD girls, I can handle them for a little but I sure as hell wouldn't commit to one. Honestly, dealing with the multiple BPD girls finally turned me into a man as far as dealing with normal girls. But most guys get mentally fvcked. I'm a bit weird.

Only a full-blown legit sociopath/psychopath can handle a BPD.

 

[JohnChops]

"I care for her and don't want to see her destroyed"

Sorry man, she already is destroyed. I've felt with a bpd as well, for 3 years. Worst days of my life.

All this **** about you wanting to let her down easy and to save her from herself, ya it doesn't work with these girls. They will turn everything on you, into your fault. They'll make you think moving on and railing other girls is your own fault, that's how they play. Then they suck you back in, bring you into some trash emotionally vulnerable state that you didn't think you'd ever be in. Then they break you down. My god that was the worst part. You feel like complete and utter ****.

They're like a damn siphon. You said you're already codependent on this girl? Well my friend, that's how it starts. First you both need eachother, then she doesn't really give a **** about you just your attention while all the while you sit there with your **** up your own ass begging for her attention. But it's okay cause you're an alpha right? (Lol). That doesn't do much good when you're emotionally wrecked and torn down by someone you thought cared about you.

It's safe to say moving in with this chick was a really dumb idea. If you have money, move into a hotel for a few days to get your **** in order. Also why are you living with this chick? Bpd , only dating for a short period of time... The **** man.

 

[Julian]

Hey guys UPDATE:

SO she had a few more massive raging blowouts. The last one being a few days ago she zangief kicked the dashboard of my car interior and tried doing the same to the windshield, also tried opening the car door and jumping out and attacked me all while i was driving. That was the final realization moment where everything you guys said became clear. You aare all right that alpha BS goes out the window when dealing with truly mentally sick individuals.

I left her, took all my stuff and put the key on the table. I have a feeling she saw this coming. I also have a strong feeling she got banged this weekend while I was gone..but who knows. Either way im OUT of that now. No going back.

 

[Infern0]

BPD brain can devalue you and utterly write you off in an instant like you never existed. in an INSTANT.

there is no way you can "game" that, sure some tactics may work briefly but there is no consitant strategy

If you have ANY attatchment to them at all, you are screwed

with normal women, you can have some level of attatchment, as long as it doesn't get out of hand, but BPD's whole routine is designed to make you attatched, they will actively try to get you addicted to them and once they succeed, all that's coming your way is pain and misery.

These girls are sick, and exposure to them will make you sick by proxy, they deserve pity to be honest, but nothing more, steer well, well clear.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Just as an aside on female BPDs - I've mentioned this ages ago. But friends I have that work in mental health say the the patients they need debrief/counselling on are the BPDs. Not schizo, bi polar etc patients, but the BPDs. That tells you something .

 

[grayclif]

You don't have to break up with and still live with her. Since you have plenty money move out. Technically you shouldn't be living with her unless you plan to marry her.

Find a new place and continue to date her. If it doesn't work out after the move dump her.

Good luck and spin plates.

 

[Julian]

So you were wrong about everyone, and their BPD experiences...and now have come forward to admit you were too quick too judge, and a fool. Tell us how it turned out!!

Turned out fine actually, thankfully. Mental illness isnt something to joke around about.

 

[Lozboss]

Why hasn't anyone pointed out the CRITICAL error here.

You started dating this chick "a few months ago" and you're living with her? Wtf kind of rookie crap is that? You never live with them until you are certain they are long term prospect.

Read the Rational Male- this is one of Rollos iron rules

 

[beforeimgone]

So quite a few months ago I made a thread blasting on this forum about all the BPD BS. Coincidentally a few weeks later I began dating a chick. Lets just say she fits the BPD formula perfectly. The only difference being she is not abusive toward me. She submits to me fully, but she is like a pitbulll....you can just never quite trust it.

I do have feelings for her and I feel we have developed a strong codependancy. Before I came along she said she was just depressed/had anxiety. But after a few months and my own research I realized she is fullblown BPD.

What has saved my ass is the fact I am her senior by 9 years, I am goodlooking/well off and not afraid to walk away. Those things are what keeps her in check, not to mention my sex game is the best she has had. Now the issue is I live with her...and lately she has been getting worse. At this point I see no option but to jump ship.

This chick has definitely had an effect on my outlook, but my own personal frame/power/intelligence overrided her psycho behavior 95%. The problem is she is slowly starting to become worse behaved and just acting very irrational, raging on me, crying about petty **** etc etc the whole 9 yards.

My plan is to break it to her gently and let her down easy. I think she sees it coming. She goes from "i love yous" and "ill do anything" to giving me deathstares and threatening to make me leave her place (im currently living there...but finding my own place isnt an issue i have plenty of $. The thingis I have invest alot of timeand energy into this girl/relationship and for the most part she is not any more crazy then my other exes...but there are those times where she loses herself completely and disassociates from reality/harms herself etc.

Thats some heavy **** I just cant deal with. So to you gents going through this, never be afraid to walk away and if the chick starts acting wild you need to documentit (take cellphone video etc). I have videos of my gf going nuts and being psycho and also confessing her self harm and her love for me blablabla + sex videos shes obviously consented to. This is all in an effort to cover my ass. Definitely not ending up dead or in cuffs because of this chicks unstable emotions. It sucks because otherwise she is a nice and great girl...but this side of her I cant deal with.

Thanks for the insight into your life and head, mate.


It sounds like you genuinely had her under complete control for a while, but have recently noticed a slip in her obedience(less enthusiasm when complying to your demands).


BPD women are not any more valuable than any other women, but they do require more work. With BPD women you may need to be more proactive then reactive in your control.

The solution: Issue routine discipline so that it always stays fresh in her mind. This could be once a week, twice a week, or maybe even three times a week. This is dangerous territory for most people due to the level of control that you will have over her. As you know, most people lose control when they drink from the man cup and go overboard. Being reactive is not enough

 

[Lozboss]

Thanks for the insight into your life and head, mate.


It sounds like you genuinely had her under complete control for a while, but have recently noticed a slip in her obedience(less enthusiasm when complying to your demands).


BPD women are not any more valuable than any other women, but they do require more work. With BPD women you may need to be more proactive then reactive in your control.

The solution: Issue routine discipline so that it always stays fresh in her mind. This could be once a week, twice a week, or maybe even three times a week. This is dangerous territory for most people due to the level of control that you will have over her. As you know, most people lose control when they drink from the man cup and go overboard. Being reactive is not enough

No no no!

If she's a BPD you DO NOT try to control her. You hit it but don't become attached then you eject.

Far better men than all of us have tried to control a BPD- it never happens.

 

[beforeimgone]

No no no!

If she's a BPD you DO NOT try to control her. You hit it but don't become attached then you eject.

Far better men than all of us have tried to control a BPD- it never happens.

It's not controlling her. It's shaping her. There is a big difference

 

[Lozboss]

It's not controlling her. It's shaping her. There is a big difference

No No No

You still have the illusion of control or shaping.

BPDs are a law unto themself- they CANNOT be tamed permanently. Do not bother.

Take this advice or learn this the very hard way.