Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

One last question about my ex-relationship

Glumix

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Hi guys,

This is my first post here because I need to share my experience and to know about your experiences about the following subject.

I am 35 yo and was in a LTR with a 33 yo girl for almost 2 years. She's a hottie. When I met her, there were red flags everywhere. She is racist, has bad relationships with her parents and sister. She is evil. Her own mother told me she's always been like that, etc... BUT I continued to date her as an experience and because my therapist advised me to do so. My therapist is full in the Alpha Male stuff and has tried to make me recover from years of being an AFC.

So, I endured this relationship during 2 years trying to understand and tame my GF. 1 month ago we broke up for the last time because I told her there was no way I would go back in holidays with her if she didn't change her behavior and become nicer and stop the insult, manipulation and humiliations.

She then tried to stay friend but I am in NC mode and told her.

Just to let you know :

- the first time we kissed she laughed at me saying I was trembling
- she was below average in the bed still thinking she was the best and couldn't understand I was bored
- she's extremely jealous
- she's an attention ***** always in need for compliment
- i got ****-tested during 2 years
- she castrated me to the point I suffered premature ejaculation during the last year with her and couldn't **** her good anymore (I could write a whole book about that)
- she insulted me, said I was pitiful, even in front of my friends and my family
- etc...

Still :
- I dumped her twice but she always found excuse and came back
- last year holidays I told her one day before we departed that she will not come with me because she behaved too badly. So she stayed at home and still came back after that. Crazy stuff.
- she cried out loud when I said I couldn't bear an holiday or even a week-end with her anymore
- she cried everytime i left in the middle of the evening because of her behavior
- she cried when we broke-up and she cried when I told her I didn't want to see her anymore
- etc...

She is a LSE, naughty, etc...

I know I was in Beta mode with her but I currently cannot visualize any Alpha with her. Because I am just like, no way any Alpha looking for a LTR could stay for more than a night with that kind of *****.

Did you have any similar experiences? What your thoughts, not about what I did and that relationship, but about that kind of girls? Can you tame that kind of witch/***** and make her behave nicely? What would have happened if I started that relationship as an Alpha?

Thanks,

PS: Just to let you know, this is probably the best exprience I had in my life. I am very happy. I met a lot of women during the last weeks. Working on my self-improvement, etc... and I feel so much stronger and confident now. I understand my mindset way better than before. All good. :)
 

EVONIK

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You can not change her. You can only change yourself and move on to higher quality women. Be selective and continue working on yourself.

An Alpha would not start a relationship with this kind of woman. Besides she knows very well and she is not looking for an Alpha.

As long as there are plenty victims willing to accept her manipulation tactics and bad attitude, she has no reason to change and behave better.
 

BondAFC

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Congratulations on escaping this nightmare.
Keep running and don't look back...EVER.
This behavior only gets WORSE. Broken is broken.

This is not healthy. Nothing about her behavior (as you describe it) is healthy or normal.
Her own mother knows she is off her rocker.

What is really alarming is that you paid a therapist who encouraged you to stay with this crazy witch.
Get a new freakin therapist PRONTO!!! Find one who is concerned with your well -being.

Do a quick Google search on "Cluster - B personality" or "Borderline Personality Disorder" or BPD for short.
Then there is NPD and a whole range of alphabet soup acronyms for bat-shyt crazy.
See if any of those personality descriptions mirror your experiences with her.

To answer your specific questions:
Did you have any similar experiences?
YES. 18 months of crazy push-pull behavior. On the plus side, she took me to school.
At first I was trying to "figure-her-out" and how to deal with her and make this relationship work.
I had to study like a fiend how to be a man.
In the process I learned it had nothing to do with fixing her, but fixing me and what I would allow into my life.
I found this forum, the blue pill and my self-esteem.
I think most of the guys here have gone through a similar baptism of fire.
Please believe me, she will NEVER get better.

What your thoughts, not about what I did and that relationship, but about that kind of girls?
It's not about the girls, It's about YOU!
Why would you tolerate that behavior? What are your boundaries?
What about your happiness? What about your emotional, physical and mental needs?

Can you tame that kind of witch/***** and make her behave nicely?
No, and you shouldn't have to. It's not your place to teach someone else basic common decency and etiquette.
A quality woman behaves nicely and treats you with respect. If she doesn't ...walk away.

What would have happened if I started that relationship as an Alpha?
Nothing different would have happened.
Crazy, broken people act crazy and broken...because they are crazy and broken.
They are hard-wired to humiliate and push-away the very people who love them.
They will amp it up until they get the desired reaction (rejection) and thereby validate their own self-image.
It's sick, twisted and never gets better. Read up about BPD..

Commit the following statements to memory:
  • She won’t change.
  • You can’t make her better.
  • She doesn’t love you.
  • Things really were that bad.
  • You can’t be friends with her.
  • She’ll keep abusing you for as long as you let her.
  • She isn’t going to move on to a new man and suddenly be great and normal. She’ll continue to be the same miserable woman she was when she was with you, no matter how much she rubs your nose in how “terrific” her life is without you. THIS IS A LIE.
  • A few wonderful moments don’t make up for how abusive she is the majority of the time.
  • You deserve better.
  • You had a life before her; you’ll have a much happier life without her.
Write this list down. Tape a copy to your bathroom mirror, next to your phone and on your nightstand.

Don't underestimate the damage she has done to you. Get help. Google the following article:
10 Things You Need to Do After Breaking Up with an Emotionally Abusive Woman
by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD
on shrink4men.wordpress


My question to you is why in God's name would you want a relationship like this?
What is it about this nightmare that worked for YOU? You have to answer that question before you can have a productive relationship with someone else. If you don't figure that one out, you are likely to repeat the same relationship pattern again and again.

Respect..
 

Glumix

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Thank you both for your answers !

Also, thanks for the link. I already did pretty much everything as I am in No Contact mode and I just do not want to see her again, ever.
 
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