Why do so many guys 35+ not take care of themselves

[oc16]

I see it every time I go out (usually shopping for groceries, malls, etc).

Men 15 to 50 lbs overweight, male pattern baldness (going bald and not shaving head) and dressed like bums (e.g. hoodies, jogging pants, old beat up shirts)

Don't these guys want to look attractive to attractive women? Doesn't it bother them they are invisible to attractive women? It absolutely blows my mind!

I don't think it's just me, but getting positive attention from an attractive woman is an amazing, wonderful feeling.

I am also in Central NJ. I am sure it is different in major metropolitan areas and in mainland Europe.

Europeans must visit the US and say "Wow, Americans look like s**t! LOL

 

[Hamurabimbi]

By the time a man is 35 (and really, well before then) he knows his SMV and where he stands in the sexual hierarchy. Very, very few men are physically attractive. So most men, by 35. have not received s decade or two of positive reinforcement. As oc16 said. ‘getting positive attention…is an amazing. wonderful feeling.’. And it is. Like a Dopamine high.
Lacking the ‘positive attention’ & dopamine high. from being attractive, these men begin their descent (say in their 30’s) , but their is really no difference in their life.
For example. most of my friends. over 35. have let themselves go. But. they were never getting attention anyway. So. No real change. The guys that keep themselves attractive’& fit as they age have been receiving that Dopamine high and don’t want to give it up.

 

[Ricky]

I am not sure but its a good reason to dress at least slightly better as its easy to outcompete the losers then

 

[oc16]

By the time a man is 35 (and really, well before then) he knows his SMV and where he stands in the sexual hierarchy. Very, very few men are physically attractive. So most men, by 35. have not received s decade or two of positive reinforcement. As oc16 said. ‘getting positive attention…is an amazing. wonderful feeling.’. And it is. Like a Dopamine high.
Lacking the ‘positive attention’ & dopamine high. from being attractive, these men begin their descent (say in their 30’s) , but their is really no difference in their life.
For example. most of my friends. over 35. have let themselves go. But. they were never getting attention anyway. So. No real change. The guys that keep themselves attractive’& fit as they age have been receiving that Dopamine high and don’t want to give it up.

Good point about some men never experiencing that to begin with.

As for very few men being physically attractive, I would disagree. Yes, there are less strikingly handsome model looking men than there are women. However, there are still plenty of "normal" attractive looking men (at least under 35). I am talking equivalent to a HB 6.5 to 7.5 female.

I am 46. I am tall, physically fit, full head of hair. My facial aesthetics lean towards the average, but I would give myself a 7 or 7.5. This is especially true since many of my peers are overweight or losing their hair.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

I am not sure but its a good reason to dress at least slightly better as its easy to outcompete the losers then

↑↑ THIS ↑↑
I'm happy that so many men my age group are complete slobs.
It means that dating is so much easier for those of us in the minority who look after ourselves.

During my 40s, back when I was married - I'd pretty much given up, and was part of the herd of slobs.
Around 50, moved out, got fit again, got my act together....
Now get 'noticed' by women far more than I ever did 10 when I was in my 30s and 40s

 

[oc16]

Awesome. Any of these women in the 15-25 year younger range?

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Awesome. Any of these women in the 15-25 year younger range?

I routinely date down by around 12-15 yrs
Since becoming single again at 51, the youngest was 29 (when I was 53) - three were in their 30s - With the majority being around mid 40s
Current interest is 45

 

[oc16]

I routinely date down by around 12-15 yrs
Since becoming single again at 51, the youngest was 29 (when I was 53) - three were in their 30s - With the majority being around mid 40s
Current interest is 45

Awesome. I am 46 and NOT interested in women 40+, however I think anything with more than a 15 year age gap feels weird. I think the lowest I can go is early 30's.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Good point about some men never experiencing that to begin with.

As for very few men being physically attractive, I would disagree. Yes, there are less strikingly handsome model looking men than there are women. However, there are still plenty of "normal" attractive looking men (at least under 35). I am talking equivalent to a HB 6.5 to 7.5 female.

This is likely true.
However. You and I may find most men ‘normal attractive’. Most women find most men unattractive.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Awesome. I am 46 and NOT interested in women 40+, however I think anything with more than a 15 year age gap feels weird. I think the lowest I can go is early 30's.

Yeah - I've found that larger gaps can be a ton of fun short term, but won't last.
None of those under 40 lasted much more than a month.

The 29yo was a weekend thing, stayed over at my place on the Friday and Saturday night - she kept saying things like 'age is just a number', but.... She had no kids yet, and at that age she would have wanted them soon... Definitely NOT on my agenda in my mid 50s
Also, while talking it came out that her dad had recently died young of a heart-attack - He'd been 51 - I was older than her dad - Which then prompted me to realise she was a year younger than my daughter.....
No way that could have worked long term.

 

[oc16]

This is likely true.
However. You and I may find most men ‘normal attractive’. Most women find most men unattractive.

Yes, I read that. I would be considered "unattractive" by most women since I am not model handsome (think Ronaldo, Henry Cavill, etc)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Yet another adult caught pretending to be a teenage student

A woman in Texas was arrested after spending the day pretending to be a 13-year-old at her daughter's middle school in a "social experiment" designed to point out lax security measures.

www.avclub.com

 

[corrector]

If your gf still monitoring your sosuave account?

 

[oc16]

If your gf still monitoring your sosuave account?

Huh??

 

[zekko]

By the time a man is 35 (and really, well before then) he knows his SMV and where he stands in the sexual hierarchy. Very, very few men are physically attractive. So most men, by 35. have not received s decade or two of positive reinforcement. As oc16 said. ‘getting positive attention…is an amazing. wonderful feeling.’

I think you may be right here. I was thinking that by 35, most guys have simply given up. Because, as you say, they probably weren't getting anywhere anyway.

The other reason is that by 35, their bad habits have caught up with them. Lack of exercise and proper nutrition is making them fat and flabby. Youth covers over a multitude of sins, but as you get older, your metabolism goes down, among other things.

 

[Pandora]

By the time a man is 35 (and really, well before then) he knows his SMV and where he stands in the sexual hierarchy. Very, very few men are physically attractive. So most men, by 35. have not received s decade or two of positive reinforcement. As oc16 said. ‘getting positive attention…is an amazing. wonderful feeling.’. And it is. Like a Dopamine high.
Lacking the ‘positive attention’ & dopamine high. from being attractive, these men begin their descent (say in their 30’s) , but their is really no difference in their life.
For example. most of my friends. over 35. have let themselves go. But. they were never getting attention anyway. So. No real change. The guys that keep themselves attractive’& fit as they age have been receiving that Dopamine high and don’t want to give it up.

Very interesting. This is true. You cant miss what you never had.

 

[Stoic]

Yes, people dress like slobs now at all ages in the U.S.

Want to get noticed? Wear a shirt and tie. It’s so easy to be the best dressed guy in your environment.

 

[Ricky]

Yes, people dress like slobs now at all ages in the U.S.

Want to get noticed? Wear a shirt and tie. It’s so easy to be the best dressed guy in your environment.

I have a ton of ties. I hate wearing them so i will stick to the nice shirt . Also limits chance of being confused for Mormons or Jehovahs witnesses

 

[Fruitbat]

So to answer this, a ton of other priorities get in the way. Most of which is earning.

Having some broad wink at me in the street, great though it is, isn’t really top of the agenda. I’m married and have a child. These women aren’t going to want to bang me on the side and neither would I want to. Well, I’d want to, but I wouldn’t. Family is the priority.

The other point worth noting, when I’ve been up since 5am on a Sunday sorting things out, and I nip to the shops to get something, I really couldn’t give a toss. Am I really showering, putting on a suit to go to Tesco? For what reason? I look pretty dapper going to work, I never skimp on suits or shoes. If I’m out to a social function ditto.

My assumption is that anyone asking that question doesn’t have kids+demanding career.

I often look like a tramp. I don’t even trim my beard unless there’s a reason. Joggers with curry stains, I don’t care.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I don't concern myself with what other men are doing; those that channel their lives through this vector of comparison tend to lead very unfulfilling lives.

Also, who cares what women like, the second you are going out of your way to please, you are going down a path that only leads to scarcity.