Question????

Im going on a extended business trip 30 days and want some advice on how to deal with my situation i.e. should I contact her or let it ride until I get back. Let me explain.

I have a HB8 (25) with BF (26) who gives signs that the relationship is transitional. She has shown ******d signs of interest. The body language, kino, etc. are there. I, on the otherhand, have pretty much played it cool by not chasing her or showing the usual AFC behavior. I've pretty much decided to go about my business and let her come to me. She is aware of my going on the trip and this week leading up to my trip, she has increased her activity to be around me. Her behavior is very apparent. Almost comical when trying to get my attention or be around me.

Tonight might have presented a setback, and I was hoping to regain my footing. I attended a group event which included her BF. Knowing that he was going to be there, I decided to just act indifferent. You know, just go about my business as if we were just friends and holding no beef with anybody. I chose to do this because she said earlier in the day that she hopes I will be nice to her BF. As if I wasn't go to be in the first place.

The first part of the night I was c-blocked by a friend from interacting with her. She tried to engage me but it didn't work too well since my buddy sat between the two of us. However, when the opportunity was there I was able to join them, and get a feel for their relationship, etc.

But.... when initially talking to her, she got really b**chy. Her body language was very cold. Didn't want to talk to me, etc. (Although just 30 minutes earlier everything was okay). What surprised me was she had little physical contact with the BF. She would hold his hand or give a very brief hug. But nothing suggesting a strong bond between the two. It was like she wastrying to force it, but couldn't maintain it. As we continued to watch the entertainment, things did relax, but she would make the occassional snide critical comments, which women do just to get a rise out of you. Throughout the whole night, I basically carried the "I could give a sh*t attitude", and treated her like she was in a committed relationship to this guy. We laughed about the things that happened around the office.

What makes me laugh is once I decided to redirect my attention to the BF and ask probing questions (nothing exceptional other than the usual get to know you kind of stuff), and share some of my experiences, she decided it was time to go home. WTF? Could it be because he is a naive 26 yr old, while I'm a more mature individual? I don't know... She gave an odd formal handshake, which my CB buddy found odd too, since it's totally out of character for her.

My trip begins in 3 days, and I won't see her for the next month. Do I just eliminate all contact, or should I email her during the middle of the trip? I guess, what I'm getting at is how do I maintain her interest level given the events, which just happened? Why this strange behavior from her? Is she trying to stir things up to increase my interest level? YOu know, statisfy her ego by having two men fight for her "love", which I refuse to do?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

Why you chasing a women with a b/f? It goes against everything in the DJ principles?

Well you sure are spending a lot to time worrying about a girl that is banging somone else. Go on your trip and see whats up with her when you get back.

Why you chasing a women with a b/f? It goes against everything in the DJ principles?

Thanks for the reminder. You're right I should have stepped back and remembered this doesn't serve me too well. Probably the reason why I even ventured into this, is because she acted and spoke as though the relationship was not very solid and there was extreme interest towards me on her part. Once I became stuck in her trap of game playing i.e. her jealousy act, playing hard to get, etc., it has become a struggle to regain my footing.

Keep in mind that I was very resistent to her. I've pretty much stayed away, but what bothers me the most is my level of interest hasn't diminished fast enough. I've kept myself busy with other women and am always looking for another prospect, but there is something about her that keeps pulling me back. What it is I don't know.

Well you sure are spending a lot to time worrying about a girl that is banging somone else.

HAHAHAHAHA
That's so true. I guess I should worry about keeping my own "yard" clean and not look over my fence to see how her's is kept up. Hopefully by adopting this approach I might be able to leave the wondering of "where we stand " to her, which in turn will allow me to return to a more typical state of not giving a damn so much. Hopefully, when I return, if she continues her behavior without any payout to me, we'll have a little conversation to put an end to it.