Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

This form of 'hypnosis' work?

silverwex

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So Ive given up cigarettes for 6 and a half weeks now after three years thanks to the excellent book: Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking.

The weird thing is that you need NO WILLPOWER AT ALL. On the last page I still wasnt convinced, had my last ciggy as instructed and then that was it - barely an urge to smoke ever again!!! :) And Im smoke free ever since.

The reason I think it worked is because he repeats statements a LOT during the course of the book - over and over and over. My take is that it constantly hits away at your subconcious forcing your mind to not want to smoke.

So... I was thinking how about this for being comfortable/less anxious/more confident in social situations and with/approaching girls:

1) Open Microsoft Word

2) Type a big essay (one A4 page?) on how I am so good at approaching and how I am always comfortable in all social situations. I am also a great conversationalist and always have something interesting to say. I am calm and comfortable in all situations... etc... etc...

3) Find somewhere where you wont be interuppted and make yourself comfortable

4) Now, read that essay for 15 minutes every day over and over until the fifteen minutes is up - do this for at LEAST 3 weeks.

5) See if there's a difference...

In theory, according to me (!), this should work.

What do you guys think?
 

Soupar

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Makes sense, it's just self affirmation.
 

Jariel

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I used that Allen Carr book too. I stopped smoking, but at first I didn't think it helped and figured it was just my willpower. I realise now it DID help as it subtly changed my whole perception of smoking.

What I found was when I was reading it I really started looking forward to quitting and my new lifestyle. I kept thinking ahead at what I would spend my money on now I'm not paying for cigs, how to focus my new health etc.

With willpower, people focus on what they have to "give up" and how hard it will be, so it makes it harder, but this book reframes it so we focus on the benefits and things to gain from quitting. (Notice how the book affirms how easy it is to quit and there is nothing to miss about smoking?)

I do believe the same thing will and does work with a lot of other things. Like if you focus on getting nervous, scared, messing up and the long road to overcoming social anxiety, it's going to be a negative experience. But if you focus on how great it will be to feel comfortable, talk to anyone, meet women and the overall goal, it makes it a lot of fun.

Writing an essay as you mentioned or even just listing all the positive outcomes could probably be very useful. Try to reframe your fears as a positive experience too - kinda like the muscle aches you get after lifting weights: it hurts, but it's a positive pain because it's productive and you know it's working. Same with your fears/mistakes. It might hurt or be embarrassing, but at least you've got the experience and survived.
 

silverwex

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Thanks for the reply guys.

Jariel: You seem to know a lot about NLP/hypnosis/ etc... Did you study this much?

Good advice btw
 

Nocturnal

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It's funny you should say this... I just read this a few days ago and the writer is a proponent of Carr's book (I don't smoke btw): http://angermanagement.mu.nu/archives/025605.html

The main focus of the article is about how to easily form rational habits by approaching them from a particular perspective.
 

MackJr

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Maybe that's how Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" works. People say that they read it 7 times or so and then they suddenly started being successful. That would mean that the secret isn't conceptual, but auto-suggestive, ie, hypnotic.
 

silverwex

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Ok so I came up with a rough draft of what Im gonna put on my A4 page. Here ya go:

Why I Am So Great
By silverwex

I am a worthy human being. I deserve the best. I respect and love myself. In my free time I am constantly improving myself and my talents to the maximum. Every time something doesn’t go to plan it is a learning experience and I should learn from it and view it as a positive experience.

I am fearless and assertive and love a challenge. When interacting with people, no matter who they are or their status, I am confident and can handle the situation. I look people straight in the eye and feel totally calm, cool and relaxed in their company. Nobody intimidates me – for I am fearless! People respect and admire me – I am the alpha male.

I approach girls/women constantly and hold great and interesting conversations with them. Girls love me for I love myself – they can sense I am the prize to be had. I am the greatest PUA in the making, constantly approaching ladies and improving my social skills with them. I love being ****y & funny and teasing, having a laugh and being the smooth guy that I am. The females that can’t see the cool, interesting, sexy guy that I am lose out on having my attention.

I love my features: my facial features, my little quirks and my physique.

I feel comfortable and respect myself totally and absolutely. I don’t care what people think of me.

I love being by myself in public and to see what’s going on around me. I am calm and relaxed.

In the mornings I awake full of energy and life and look forward to experiencing all the good things that will come my way throughout the day. I am happy. I am full of life. I am full of energy.


I am me and I love it. I respect and admire myself. So does everybody else.
 

oOh Nasty

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Sounds very interesting.

I will create my own notepad file of affirmations myself.

I've also heard that it's pretty useful to record yourself saying these affirmations and then play them once a day for 90 minutes (I believe there was a post here a looooong time ago about this.)

Anywho, keep us updated on your improvements and I shall do the same.

~ J
 

Jariel

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Originally posted by silverwex
Jariel: You seem to know a lot about NLP/hypnosis/ etc... Did you study this much?

Good advice btw
Yeah, I only learned from books, but I got quite deep into it at one point and have picked up a lot and learned how your mental state can alter your whole life. However, I personally tend to dismiss all the technical stuff and models etc as they're overly complicated and pretentious in my opinion.

If you're looking to buy any book on NLP I recommend "Introduction to NLP" by Joseph O'Connor and Ian McDermot. I think it comes in audo format now too. Anyway, it's a really good and clear introduction and you can apply and adapt it every day without really needing to study anything more.

As for your essay, it reads good and full of positive affirmations. Make sure you keep these in your head and keep all the negative ones out. A lot of the time your mental dialogue can make a difference and replacing words like "can't" with "won't" or "should" with "can", actually do make a difference. Also instead of thinking "I'm down today" think "I'm waiting for my motivation to kick in" and so on.

I really hate Ross Jeffries and think is speed seduction is a crock of sh1t, BUT if you can track down his audio book/mp3s of "unstoppable confidence" I highly recommend it! Unlike a lot of seduction material that focuses on influencing women, this focuses on improving your own state of mind and creating positive mental habits and it does work very effectively and almost immediately!
 

Gonzalo

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Originally posted by Jariel
... Unlike a lot of seduction material that focuses on influencing women ...
So if you meet, pursue, and succesfully "close" a girl by any other method, you are NOT influencing a woman on some way?

I don't know to what extent you've studied SS. But anyways, dislike Ross all you want, but to say in general that SS doesn't work is just ignorant.

G
 

silverwex

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Good replies guys, hey Jariel in regard to when you said:

BUT if you can track down his audio book/mp3s of "unstoppable confidence"
Im currently looking into getting this - just how good is it? Is it easy to implement?
 

silverwex

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BTW Jariel, I always find NLP hard to put into practise. I mean, when they tell you to imagine something I find it quite hard to bring it up in my mind AND place myself in that scenario. Any thoughts?
 

TheTrader

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dude take ****ing action and write your DIN A4 paper. sorry but it's respectless to yourself when you listen to a known wimp like ross jeffries, wimpy mac wimp. i never heard a great DJ like MindOverMatter, Pook, Player_Supreme etc say read Ross Jeffries and your life will change for the better.

that's a good thread man im currently reading allen carr's book and i like your ideas. i've quitted smoking yesterday btw but im chewing nicotine gums like there is no tomorrow, my body is heavily addicted to nicotine and that is what i absolutely HATE about allen carrs book, it is definately a lie that the physical addiction is easy to overcome for EVERYBODY.


but to come back to this thread i've wrote a tip about this in case you havent checked it out:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=89787

your text is a good start man but i recommend to change a few things around.......imo you should more say how you want AND will be then telling lies. for example if i tell myself" i feel soooo good about my body and ALL people admire it because i have the best body in the world" then it would just be a plain old lie. but if i change it around then it would be true and inspiring like "i've gone a long way with improving my physique and many people are in awe of the change i made, some people even admire me for it and are inspired by me and i will keep on improving and getting stronger and leaner and even more people will have big respect for me, like i have for myself due to my hard work and constantly improving. I love how it feels when i gain strength and muscle mass and it excites me that i will have a really amazing body soon."
 

legolas

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I'm sorry to report here that affirmations do not really work and they don't work in all occasions. Some problems are too deeply rooted and if you simply do affirmations either it won't work at all, or it will swap the problem with another problem. I'm not suggesting this will happen to you, but I was talking to a hypnotist who does this for a living, and he said that this one guy called him saying he had gotten rid of his ciggarettes which he smoked for years, no craving nothing. He had quit a year ago. However he had this problem with social anxiety which he came to get help with. When the hypnotist asked him how long he'd had the social anxiety, the guy answered "for a year" You make the conenction.
 

silverwex

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thanks for the replies Trader and Legalos

Trade, yeah gotta make the affirmations a little more realistic and make out that Im getting there slowly but surely instead of what I want magically appearing. Cheers.

Legalos, yeah some probs are deep rooted but Im gonna give this a shot. BTW Ive had no new probs popping up since I gave up the cigs. It (the book) worked just fine for me.
 
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