We agreed on a two week break with no contact whatsoever. We've been dating a year. Things were great for the first 6 months and still are good to some degree, but so much has happened in her life that I felt it was time for her to step away and take a look at things wither herself(and I'd do the same) before we continue dating.

In the past 6 months she:

1. Lost her job...she's a teacher and after 2 years they didn't have work since the long-term staff teacher she was replacing was coming back. Now she's a substitute teacher.

2. Lost her car. Dozed off one night on highway and went into a ditch. Honestly...VERY lucky to have gotten away uninjured. Got a new car at a good price.

3. Bought a house. Its a duplex. She was very excited about it BEFORE she lost her job. Now it stresses her out since she's always worried about having enough money to pay the bills. Sje jas tenants on one side that helps cover some of the mortgage payment.

That's pretty much it. Things are getting back on track, but she had been getting clingy and turned into a very emotional person and delicate over the past little while. And she's "Loves me SOOO much", but I explained to her that she might only be feeling it so intense because of all the bad things that have happened in the last little while.

She's been insecure about things with us lately. Like if I go out to the clubs without her, or take a weekend off seeing her to do other things. She also has a tendency to lie about some little things here and there(though I ALWAYS catch her) becuase she's worried about my reaction.

As far as I'm concerned, well. I definitely like her alot. I'm not sure that I'm in love with her though. She's 26 and I'm 29 and I know that she definitely wants to know that there's a future here and that I don't know for sure that it will end. And I DON't know for sure, but at the same time I don't know that she's the perfect girl for me. After a year, shouldn't I be totally in love and thinking about us much later in the future? Well, I can't say that I am, but I definitely enjoy being with her.

We've got about a week left of our 2 week break. At that point, we're just supposed to start dating again and not "talk about anything". That's what she wants and got upset when I mentioned that we could talk after the 2 weeks. She wanted to know that we'd be getting back together for sure. So I just went with the plan. Not that I'm against it, but I'm just wondering if it's stringing her alone if I don't know what I want for sure? Anyway, let me know if you have any useful input. Thanks.

Fast

This is one of those moments in your life when you have to sac up and make a decision. Be it hard or indifferent to what she wants is irrelevant.


YOU have to do it. Procrastination leads to emotional masturbation.


Karma

I say, let it ride out for a while. Communicate the consequences and give her a chance. If she isn't what you're looking for, or if she starts to drag you down, then break up. It's not healthy for either of you if the relationship is negative. I think it's okay to "not know what you want", but you should figure things out soon before the whole shindig blows up in your face.

Personally, I say stay with her after the "break". It might just be the breath of fresh air that both of you needed to get. But stay on your toes. The fact that you wanted a break in the first place doesn't bode well for the relationship, but hey, things change. Just consider your options, weigh the pros and cons, then make a decision. It truly is just your choice.

-Damian