I read over one of my field reports from 2004 just now, and it struck me that I was so nervous, I wasn't even making any sense.
To recap:
I ran the "best friends" test and asked asked 2 girls, "Hey are you guys best friends?" They said yes. I then said, "Know how I know?" They said, "How?" And I go, "What shampoo do you guys use?" Then I cut them off and go, "It doesn't matter. I know because everytime you guys go to say something, you LOOK at each other!"
Anyway, there was no logical connection between the shampoo question and the best friends statement. I'm sure it made more sense in my head when I was sitting at home rehearsing it, but looking back on it now that my fight-or-flight syndrome has to a large extent subsided, it was just WEIRD. I was coming off robotic and strange, because I was using lines that were fed to me, with BLIND FAITH that they would work. I wasn't using my common sense. Nevertheless, I got the girl's number, because basic rapport and my talking to the girl like she was a NORMAL human being saved me.
One of the biggest things I've learned in between the last time I posted in my journal and now is that if you try to "look" a certain way, there's an overwhelming chance that you'll look the opposite. For example, if you TRY to LOOK comfortable, then you will most likely LOOK uncomfortable to other people. If you try to LOOK like you believe what you're saying, then people will probably think you're lying.
If you TRY to pose yourself in a "natural" pose for a picture, there's a good chance it will look UNNATURAL when you look at the resulting picture.
The solution? It actually came to me when I was taking photos of myself. The more I tried to LOOK natural, the less I did. So what did I do? NOTHING. I didn't try to consciously DO anything. I just stood in front of the camera and FELT the emotions I wanted to convey in the pictures.
The translation to PU? Simply realize that the best way to "look" comfortable is to BE comfortable. Looking at it another way (for all you logicians out there), it is a strategic benefit to actually BE comfortable, because then your mind does not have to micromanage the act of 'appearing' to be comfortable.
"Fake it til you make it" will only work if the person you are trying to become is actually a person you want to be. If in your heart of hearts you do not see yourself as a detached, womanizing playboy who lays tons of girls, but more like a social guy who likes to have sex with girls he clicks with on an emotional level, then no lines or mannerisms will help you become the womanizing playboy, because in your heart of hearts, you really have no desire to be him! Set your crosshairs on what you REALLY want, what your heart wants, and not on what the status quo of ASF or sosuave tell you to want. Then you will not have to "try" to be your ideal self. You can simply relax, and he will emerge on his own.
Then, you are truly congruent. If your words and actions are true to who you *really* are and desire to be (they are intertwined), then there is no need to "fake it til you make it", because you already ARE. You may not be where you want to be presently. You may not have that great relationship or that posse of hot girls at your beckon. But the guy who will get you the results you want is already buried within you, and he will surface if you allow yourself to simply be him.
I suspect that only a few people will "get" this post. God knows it was a b!tch for me to articulate, but I hope it helped.
To recap:
I ran the "best friends" test and asked asked 2 girls, "Hey are you guys best friends?" They said yes. I then said, "Know how I know?" They said, "How?" And I go, "What shampoo do you guys use?" Then I cut them off and go, "It doesn't matter. I know because everytime you guys go to say something, you LOOK at each other!"
Anyway, there was no logical connection between the shampoo question and the best friends statement. I'm sure it made more sense in my head when I was sitting at home rehearsing it, but looking back on it now that my fight-or-flight syndrome has to a large extent subsided, it was just WEIRD. I was coming off robotic and strange, because I was using lines that were fed to me, with BLIND FAITH that they would work. I wasn't using my common sense. Nevertheless, I got the girl's number, because basic rapport and my talking to the girl like she was a NORMAL human being saved me.
One of the biggest things I've learned in between the last time I posted in my journal and now is that if you try to "look" a certain way, there's an overwhelming chance that you'll look the opposite. For example, if you TRY to LOOK comfortable, then you will most likely LOOK uncomfortable to other people. If you try to LOOK like you believe what you're saying, then people will probably think you're lying.
If you TRY to pose yourself in a "natural" pose for a picture, there's a good chance it will look UNNATURAL when you look at the resulting picture.
The solution? It actually came to me when I was taking photos of myself. The more I tried to LOOK natural, the less I did. So what did I do? NOTHING. I didn't try to consciously DO anything. I just stood in front of the camera and FELT the emotions I wanted to convey in the pictures.
The translation to PU? Simply realize that the best way to "look" comfortable is to BE comfortable. Looking at it another way (for all you logicians out there), it is a strategic benefit to actually BE comfortable, because then your mind does not have to micromanage the act of 'appearing' to be comfortable.
"Fake it til you make it" will only work if the person you are trying to become is actually a person you want to be. If in your heart of hearts you do not see yourself as a detached, womanizing playboy who lays tons of girls, but more like a social guy who likes to have sex with girls he clicks with on an emotional level, then no lines or mannerisms will help you become the womanizing playboy, because in your heart of hearts, you really have no desire to be him! Set your crosshairs on what you REALLY want, what your heart wants, and not on what the status quo of ASF or sosuave tell you to want. Then you will not have to "try" to be your ideal self. You can simply relax, and he will emerge on his own.
Then, you are truly congruent. If your words and actions are true to who you *really* are and desire to be (they are intertwined), then there is no need to "fake it til you make it", because you already ARE. You may not be where you want to be presently. You may not have that great relationship or that posse of hot girls at your beckon. But the guy who will get you the results you want is already buried within you, and he will surface if you allow yourself to simply be him.
I suspect that only a few people will "get" this post. God knows it was a b!tch for me to articulate, but I hope it helped.
