So i'm walking through this bar/club and i make unintentional eye contact with a pretty ugly girl(6 at the max). She made a comment about my bad looks--calling me ugly (i'm a decent looking guy) and i was thinking WTF. A. i wasn't even hitting on this ugly girl! and B. I am way out of this girl’s league, so who does she think she's kidding? Needless to say, I let this ugly cnt ruin my evening (i was free balling btw).

I have no problem with rejection, but being called ugly to your face is pretty harsh. I think the missing part of my overall game, is being able to stay positive and constructive when faced with negativity. It's really hurting my way of life in business, relationships, and with family! When i'm hit with negativity, you can read me like a book, because my whole demeanor and disposition changes--anger in my face, not having vocal balance, increased heart rate, etc.

ANy suggestions on how to control your emotions and remain in control?

Originally posted by tristan22
...ANy suggestions on how to control your emotions and remain in control?

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Stop defining yourself by what other people think. Start defining yourself by your own criteria. AND YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IT!

You say that you are a decent looking guy and you were out of this girl's league but do you believe that? If you did, this post wouldn't exist.

Start working on defining yourself and building your own self esteem.

I posted this message because i am always thrown off when someone speaks unkindly to me, when i'm minding my own business. I have had fat hogs approach me, but i never insult them. IN my case, i didn't even approach this lush and she insults me for no reason.

No need to second guess me. Why is it so hard to believe that i "am" better looking then the chic throwing insults? I don't care if she was better looking then me, the result would still be the same--an insult is an insult.


Check your PM FD, i sent you something.

Unshakeable positivy and optimism is a serious skill I think!

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This is a skill i would love to acquire! A lot of successful individuals have this attribute and it's obviously a great skill to have.

Good advice, i have a lot of work to do!

She was probably just having a bad night and decided to knock someone down a few notches for her own satisfaction. Some people are sad like that.

Why on earth would you let it bother you? Roll it off cause you know that she was full of sh!t..... you shoulda put her in her place.

I agree with the above - you are defining yourself by what others think.

I also don't understand how someone is going to just randomly walk up to you in a bar and call you ugly after you glance at them - does that make sense? You must have initiated some sort of conversation?

Don't waste your time with negative people - especially when they have no impact on your life. Thats just wasted energy as you are finding out.

Another thing I like to do is surround myself with successful and positive people - it rubs off. Success doesn't have to be money either - just find friends with successful traits you value.

If she had said that to me I would have said something like, "Dam-n, I've been insulted by a bit-ch before, but never an ugly-ass bit-ch like you." The BEST revenge you can take is to go find a HOT chick and start flirting with her right in front of that girl.... it will kill her. Do you care what she thinks? No. Does a little payback feel good? Of course. People will get what's coming to them one way or another, whether it be good, or bad.

I also don't understand how someone is going to just randomly walk up to you in a bar and call you ugly after you glance at them - does that make sense? You must have initiated some sort of conversation?

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Trust me when i say i didn't engage her in conversation. We passed each other in the hallway, made eye contact, and she opened her big mouth. IT was too crowded for me to turn around and bit$h her out--as there was people (lots) behind me. I'm not a dog in heat, i don't approach every girl in the bar....dam dude why is my story so hard to believe?

I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought, if i could have called her a crater face and insulted her back--but the crowd was so large, i couldn't turn around in the cramped hallway. I should be happy that i threatened her in some way, why else would she attack me for no reason?

Props to you guys who can shake things off. I've got a lot to work on, so thanks for all of the tips!

Nah, she was calling you ulgy because that was her way of "NEG HITTING" which she did a bad job on. I'm sure that same night, she went back on the women's version of sosuave and asked her fellow friends if she NEG hit you the right way.

Control your emotions with humor. Laughter is positive.

Hey we live in the same area, what clubs was this? I use to be just like that letting someone's insults or negativity ruin my state and get me upset. I'm just use to brushing it off now since I realize that they are the one with the problem (realize it was an ugly fatty that insulted you). That's low what that girls did though.

Originally posted by DJnoob
Nah, she was calling you ulgy because that was her way of "NEG HITTING" which she did a bad job on. I'm sure that same night, she went back on the women's version of sosuave and asked her fellow friends if she NEG hit you the right way.

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Haha, it's a possibility, but I highly doubt it. Girls don't need to neg hit us.... in fact they BETTER NOT. They can engage in coc-ky conversations with us (which is fun) but they should never use a neg hit.

Remember the sec you leave your house. You should be ready for anything. David Deangelo said life is unfair.... and it's great news. Why did he say this ?? Because you can make life work for you.
Napoleon Hill said that we are the ruler of our life. We control our life. So if you are in control of your life then make yourself feel better about who you are.

2nd thing. Rude people are acutally unhappy people. I was talking to this girl today about this. Usaully the people who allways have bad things to say about you are the one's who have no family who loves them or Not many friends. Don't let these people get to you. When I was in high school I had this 1 kid in my class that allways said negative things to everyone even to me. But I learned about how he had a sh!ty life and how his mother puts him down.

When I was talking to this girl I also said about how mothers put their kids down. It's a sad thing but it happens alot. When you leave your house be ready for anything. Think how you will react when someone says " wow your jeans are really big for you " or " why would you wear a ugly shirt like that "

I was talking to my grandmother and she told me that
" people can hurt you only if you let them "

GOOD LUCK BRO

It could have been a million different things. Women are insane sometimes.

I was working in the store the other day, this hottie waitress type (who is a major player) comes in and says "Hey, where's the good looking guy?".

At first I'm like WTF, but then I realize she's just playing, and VERY bad at it.

Originally posted by DJnoob
Nah, she was calling you ulgy because that was her way of "NEG HITTING" which she did a bad job on. I'm sure that same night, she went back on the women's version of sosuave and asked her fellow friends if she NEG hit you the right way.

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I say she was just intimidated by a guy that had the cojones to look at her. Her insecurities came out as anger just because SHE probably thought he was thinking that SHE has a horrid looking troll....

It’s possible that she was able to read from your expression that you thought she’s ugly so she insulted you back.

You can never control other people, only yourself. That is why you get so upset when another person disapproves of you. You have no control over them. Do not worry about that which you have no control over. Take action on what you can control, which is yourself. Your self image needs to have nothing to do with what other people think of you. Your self image is who think of you are. Remember that there will always be people that dislike you. And for no reason that you can see. They probably have something wrong with them, so don’t worry about them.