Repeatedly I've been told this. I'm still trying to understand why. I'm not the least bit religious, and I drink alcohol. Normally when I hear the word "uptight," I think of a devoutly religious man who never drinks.

Sometimes these people have even said that women don't want an "uptight" man. However, I'm reluctant to believe that.

This is curious because people who don't belong to the same social circle have said this to me. So tongues couldn't have been wagging.

So what's going on here? I don't feel uptight. I'm a fairly easy-going man, at least I think so.


Ben

Originally posted by The_Shezzler
Your trying to steer away from the religious pigeon hole....Yet you call yourself Abbott???? :crackup:

Oh the Irony :crackup:

Sarge On...

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I didn't think of that.

However, I have this screenname because it's my middle name and it's not very common. That is why I chose it.

In fact, I'm an Atheist. I normally don't tell people that, but I will if I think it's helpful in clearing things up or if someone askes me what my religion is.


Ben

There is a lot more to being uptight than being religious.

for instance, your s/n tells me that your a vegetarian? Do you get a little bent out of shape when you have to go to a restaraunt that isn't vegetarian? Do you refuse to do certain things based on moral objections?

While these aren't bad things, others may find them "uptight" because these moral objections don't seem like such a big deal to them.

Maybe you don't like staying out late or you don't have the sense of adventure other people have.

"I don't know about this, guys. We've never gone this way. Maybe we should just head back..."

Things like that can display that sense of "uptight."

~Vibe~

This is something I used to be accused of a LOT up until this year. People would always tell me I need to loosen up, stop taking everything so seriously and have more fun. They were right.

Speaking from my own experience, my problem was that I did take myself too seriously. I had to see a purpose to everything, I dwelled too much on consequences, pushed myself too hard and tried to be perfect. I wouldn't even dance when I went to clubs - I'd just sit on my own and it would make other people feel uncomfortable. I'd also try too hard to make a good impression with people and fear making any kind of mistakes or slip ups.

After a dramatic break up that really hurt me, I decided to change my perspective and stop caring so much. I'm still very disciplined and a very deep thinker, but there's a time and place for everything, and when I'm out socialising I just want to relax and have fun. I can't dance, but I do it anyway. I make jokes at myself and encourage people neghitting me. Not only are people enjoying my company a lot more and feel more relaxed, but I am enjoying life much more too!

Originally posted by Abbott


So what's going on here? I don't feel uptight. I'm a fairly easy-going man, at least I think so.

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Do you laugh and smile easily? Are you spontaneous at all? Do you take things seriously when it doesn't matter?

Like another poster said, I have convictions i follow through on for the most part. I usually refuse to go see movies. I refuse to buy cds and dvds. I won't go to mcdonald's ever (even if their food tasted good or was healthy) If your commercial is completely retarded i actively avoid buying your product almost no matter how good it is.... i swear at the tv when a commercial in lieu of actually presenting their product in a way that would make me want to buy it instead just plays some famous song and ruins it for me. I refuse to give presents on birthdays and christmas and insist that no one gives me anything either because it's a huge waste of time and a needless burden on everyone...those sorts of things... while others say it's dumb, i think i have good reasons for all of it.. i've never been called uptight though.

Originally posted by Vibe
There is a lot more to being uptight than being religious.

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I know. I just said that because it's what I personally think of if I hear the word "uptight."

Originally posted by Vibe
for instance, your s/n tells me that your a vegetarian? Do you get a little bent out of shape when you have to go to a restaraunt that isn't vegetarian? Do you refuse to do certain things based on moral objections?

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Yes, there are certain things I won't do based on moral and/or personal objections. Though some things are of the kind "I don't do it personally, but I won't mind if you do it." Like I'll go to any restaurant (except steakhouses, I avoid those). I'll just order something that doesn't have meat in it. Or the fact that I won't go outdoors bareheaded, but I don't hold others to that standard since it doesn't affect whether they're good people or not.

There are other things of which I place more importance. Like I avoid lying whenever possible. I make a point of being as honest as possible, even blunt if it's necessary. Generally, I make a point of being the best man I can be and I don't let anything get in the way of that. Once I hung out with a man who saw a bicycle that wasn't locked. He decided to ride it, and he didn't ask or even see the owner. I became very authoritative and told him that he better put that bicycle back, because he had no right to do that. He did finally put it back before I needed to forcefully intervene. The girl who was also there didn't say anything, while I did. But that's because I believe in respecting people's property, not damaging it, and not using it without permission.

Originally posted by Vibe
While these aren't bad things, others may find them "uptight" because these moral objections don't seem like such a big deal to them.

Maybe you don't like staying out late or you don't have the sense of adventure other people have.

"I don't know about this, guys. We've never gone this way. Maybe we should just head back..."

Things like that can display that sense of "uptight."
~Vibe~

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It's true that I do have a self-imposed curfew time (normally 2AM or 3AM, depending on how I feel), and after that I generally start thinking about going home. I'm also reluctant to do anything crazy. I refuse to vandalise, I won't use illegal drugs, and I'm more low-key than my peers for the most part. I also refuse to black-out from drinking.

I see this as being responsible while still allowing myself to have fun. I've always needed to drive home every night, so I can never drink very much. It seems that while there are college kids, there are also "adults who take classes." There's a difference, and I'm a member of the latter group. I wish more people were like this. I think people should have fun, but there's fun and there's being dangerous and idiotic.

Originally posted by Jariel
Speaking from my own experience, my problem was that I did take myself too seriously. I had to see a purpose to everything, I dwelled too much on consequences, pushed myself too hard and tried to be perfect. I wouldn't even dance when I went to clubs - I'd just sit on my own and it would make other people feel uncomfortable. I'd also try too hard to make a good impression with people and fear making any kind of mistakes or slip ups.

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Well, there is a purpose to everything people do. Just that "having fun" is sufficient purpose, at least I think so.

Unfortunately, I have to consider some consequences. Like being too drunk to drive, or using drugs and the strange things they'll make you do.

As far as good impressions, I've discovered the best thing to do is just be easy going and show interest in the other person.

Originally posted by mrRuckus
Do you laugh and smile easily? Are you spontaneous at all? Do you take things seriously when it doesn't matter?

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For the most part, I can laugh and smile easily. Of course if something really isn't funny I'm not going to pretend it is.

I can sometimes be spontaneous, though I don't do anything very outlandish.

As far as taking things seriously when I shouldn't, I don't believe I do. Though of course that's very subjective. I will admit that with my mobile telephone, I try to maintain as near to 100% availability as possible (even if I'm busy and I cannot talk for more than five minutes). And I then subconsciously expect others to be the same. I'm trying to get over that, but it's easier said than done.



I don't know if this counts as uptight, but I don't use very much slang, and if I do I make sure it's something that almost anyone can understand. I try to maintain proper English at all times. I'll admit to cussing more than I should (except if I'm at a workplace where there's no cussing), though I'm working on that.

Though of course if someone else uses a lot of slang I'll do my best to understand them. I just won't necessarily use slang when I reply.

Plus I'm more interested in being a good man than trying to have sex as much as possible. Does that count as being uptight?


Also, could people perceive me as being uptight, even though I'm not trying to be?

Ben