I'm kind of confused here. C&F is ok, but what exactly is wit? What is something witty? Post your examples of witty things you say that aren't insulting/arrogant. I don't want neghits, C&F or any of that jazz. Just good old fashioned wit.

to be witty, in my opinion, is a mix of sarcasm, charisma, and intelligence. the intelligence to realize the funny things people say and to know things that would be appropriate to bring up at the time, and the charisma and sarcasm to say these things in a way that is funny and intelligent at the same time.

Thanks, but I'm looking for somethign more like examples. For example, post somethign witty that isn't insulting or ****y.

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

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That's witty.

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

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That's not.

When would you say something like that though?

When would you say something like that though?

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You wouldn't. Unless you were around a bunch of people who were just telling jokes they know. Because its not witty. Its FUNNY, but its not WITTY. For something to be witty, it has to be spontaneous. That is a canned line. So its not really witty.

Funny is something that makes you laugh, witty is a clever remark you make in a conversation. Everything that is witty should be funny, but not everything that is funny is witty.

Exmaple of wit:

I'm chatting up this crazy 30 yr old that is pretty religious.

Me - "You hear about that crazy law in texas?"
her - "No, what is it?"
Me - "Apparently, if you walk on to someones property they, by law, have the right to shoot you on the spot for tresspassing"
Her - "wow, that's crazy. You know what they say, you live by the sword you die by the sword" (religious quote)
Me - "You live by the sword, you die by the sword. You live by the gun...you die at a distance!!"
Her - *burst out laughing*

They are word-plays and associations that you make up QUICKLY and ON THE SPOT that in context of the situation are funny.

wit primarily has to do with timing, delivering whatever it is you're going to say within a few seconds of what was previously said.

Originally posted by Qmanchoo
Exmaple of wit:

I'm chatting up this crazy 30 yr old that is pretty religious.

Me - "You hear about that crazy law in texas?"
her - "No, what is it?"
Me - "Apparently, if you walk on to someones property they, by law, have the right to shoot you on the spot for tresspassing"
Her - "wow, that's crazy. You know what they say, you live by the sword you die by the sword" (religious quote)
Me - "You live by the sword, you die by the sword. You live by the gun...you die at a distance!!"
Her - *burst out laughing*

They are word-plays and associations that you make up QUICKLY and ON THE SPOT that in context of the situation are funny.

wit primarily has to do with timing, delivering whatever it is you're going to say within a few seconds of what was previously said.

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Exactly. That's the best way of describing wit. You can't give examples because it is incredibly situational. Witty is having smart and funny things that are spontaneous and amusing. It's hard to describe but is reasonably east to do if you know how...

Another suggestion.

Watch "Tough Crowd" hosted by Colin Quin. It's on Comedy Central around 11:30 EST.

They are all a bunch of witty bastards and constantly bust on eachother.

More material...

How to be witty?

OK, you are dating a girl, she likes to read 17 Magazine. Bam, right there you have your material for "witty references" that she will laugh at because she can relate to it and it's something she cares about.

So go buy one, read it, and make references to it when you're out and about. Don't TRY to be witty, the references will come to mind as you have a converstation.

Example:

Her "Wow, do you see what that girl is wearing? It's TERRIBLE!"
You - "Yeah it looks like she just fell out of the pages of 17 magazine and right into a salvation army dumpster!"

I think wit is just natural. If you aren't funny, then don't try to copy comedians to hit on a girl or sound cool. Your just going to sound mechanic.

Some people are just funny, and some aren't. It's not neccesary.

Originally posted by mikel
I think wit is just natural. If you aren't funny, then don't try to copy comedians to hit on a girl or sound cool. Your just going to sound mechanic.

Some people are just funny, and some aren't. It's not neccesary.

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Correction:

"...wit is just natural... Your just going to sound mechanic." Mikel

No I think; it is.

Yeah, wit is usually clever, usually funny and unexpected. Here's a post by cloud-uk that covers some of this stuff.

Wit Lessons

wit is not something that you can easily attain by reading a lot of books and mags. while you can increase your level of funny, its very difficult to go from average peron to a funny, sarcastic, witty b*stard. if you arent naturaly that witty, you can spent tme improving but dont get hung up on it. and using examples of witty remarks is pointless. the odds of a conversation coming up where a pre-conceved line fits well are astronomical.

to be witty you gotta be on the ball, its a combination of unpredictable, intelligence and sometimes funny. It doesnt always have to be laugh out load funny. A lot of the time my witty remarks don't get worked out for a few seconds and by then the conversation has moved on... however i can tell ppl have caught on becuz they giggle quietly and look at me.

tbh, I think wit comes from years of alcohol abbuse and socialising. Its also a defense mechanism, so if your prone to being name called, then your more likely to be witty...

wit is not something that you can easily attain by reading a lot of books and mags. while you can increase your level of funny, its very difficult to go from average peron to a funny, sarcastic, witty b*stard. if you arent naturaly that witty, you can spent tme improving but dont get hung up on it. and using examples of witty remarks is pointless. the odds of a conversation coming up where a pre-conceved line fits well are astronomical.

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Nice productive paragraph. Notice the positive perspective seeking to help the original poster overcome this area of his life by trying to shoot down legitimate ways to change his thinking around humor and wit.

First of all, all your wit comes from your ability to connect something you remember in the past to the present sitution with a twist. I didn't say anything would be easily attainable, however reading books and magazines is a GREAT way to develop material that can be used in everyday life. I do it all the time, every day in fact, and it keeps my conversation wit quite sharp. I read a funny line in FHM the other day and bam made a connection in my head and a resulting funny line that I used on my co-worker yesterdary.

It's lunch time at work...

Coworker #1 "Jesus I'm starving lets go get some food"

Coworker#2 *turns to me* "Hey, I love my little kitty *makes meow noise* I got him a new litter box the other day and I think I'm going to get a heated bed for him to sleep on, but I've heard they can get overly hot."

Me "I'll know when you do, it will be the first day you brown bag your lunch to work!"

In context of the situation everyone bust a gut.

It took a long time to learn that skill and having material is 100% necessary.

Second of all if you're not naturally that funny or witty it's not a bad idea to get "hung up on it" for a while since the extreme level of focus you'll put into learning how will teach you a LOT of what not to do/say and what to do/say to be funny/witty. Failure is the best teacher with the right state of mind.

Third, I use examples of witty remarks that I've heard from friends, read in books, heard from comedians, and come up with myself in the past all the time in conversations almost every day! (ever heard of recall and reference humor?). Additionally, by reading witty remarks to yourself you wire your brain to think in terms of "instead of ending my sentence this way lets twist it that way" and bam you start making funnier remarks.

I'm not saying my methods are the end all be all of being witty/funny, but you can't discount them becuase they are an effective learning tool.

i guess i was being somewhat of a prick