HI guys
hope you're all doing well!

I'd like some advice...

THere's a girl I'm keen on. We've been out 3 times. First 2 times were lunches, then finally a dinner.

However no mention of previous or current relationships came up until after the dinner...

I put my arm around her but sensed it didn't feel right so backed off.

She then told me she'd just broken off a 2 year LTR about 3 weeks before so she wasn't ready.

We still chattted for an hour or so, but I didn't push things.

From all your collective experience and wisdom:

1. do you think it's worth pursuing (or might I fall into the 'friends' trap?)

2. how do I pursue without falling into the friend trap, and yet not losing contact altogether?

3 If I do the pull-back thing then it will look like I just angry that she won't go out with me, won't it? ;-)

4. Could this just have been a polite excuse for her?

Best wishes all


Ztas

Hey man...

1) If you want it.. yes.. and yes you may fall into the friends trap.

2) You can hang with her.. be cool. Lean back.. don't stop touching her.. but do it naturally.. touch her while taling.. be cool but just chill out.. like you don't really care about her. Don't talk about her past relationship. Now this is all good if she really meant what she said.. if not then scrap this and get waay more physical on her, isolate & escalate. Then again if she says this you do have one fndemental problem.. you haven't attracted her enough. You have to build attraction and rapport.

3) Maybe.. but if you do the dissapear thing you get nothing.. so nothing to gain by dissapearing. Except sparing your ego? DROP the ego!

4) yes.

LJBF her

Tell her you just want to be friends. Talk about other gals you're dating. Or just leave her alone.

I recently went out for a few times with a gal who had just gotten out of a l-o-n-g relationship. We made out a lot, very passionately, but never took it further, and she said she "wasn't ready ... yet." She didn't shut the door entirely, but didn't want to move forward, and probably figured all that affection would eventually break her resistance. It probably would: I'm getting hard just thinking of it .

Anyway, I told her I was cool with being friends, and just chilled a bit. The next time I saw her -- over a month later -- we ended up giving each other hand massages again. Then the next time she wasn't into any such thing when I "tested the waters," so I just chilled... and her "goodbye" was rather touchy-feely. Now she's out of town for a bit.

The point is, when I make myself unavailable, she misses the affection, but if I make any moves when she isn't really, really good and ready, she's not into it. So I'll just date others, be her friend, but not her emotional tampon, and if things happen, just run with it. The chemistry's there, whether she likes it or not .

Nothing is to be gained by pushing anything. If there is some attraction, she'll not let you get away...

persue it and see where it goes.
i've heard that crap from women about the long term thing and i ignore it. so what? is she dropping from the human face? is the game over for her? nope