I had a cheater the last time around. I read up on the internet on how to tell when people are lying to you (their eyes look away). I have a honey who appears to be really into me. Anybody got any pointers on little things I can do to know what is really going on in her head? She says all of the right things and appears to be genuinely happy around me, but as we all know women lie....

Originally posted by clifford
I had a cheater the last time around. I read up on the internet on how to tell when people are lying to you (their eyes look away). I have a honey who appears to be really into me. Anybody got any pointers on little things I can do to know what is really going on in her head? She says all of the right things and appears to be genuinely happy around me, but as we all know women lie....

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Here's a thought:

ASK HER.

"I've been burned before when someone had held something against me without my knowledge. Will you please be clear with me if and when there's something on your mind?"

If she says yes, then you're off the hook. You've opened the door, and now (when it's needed, of course) it's her responsibility to be forthright.

If she comes to you at some time in the future and says, "You know, when you said X that really bothered me," you ask her, "When was that?" If her answer is more than one week, she's already abrogated her part of the deal. Her problem for not being upfront about it. She'll undoubtedly make excuses like, "I needed time to sort it out" or "I was so upset I didn't want to say anything and then get mad" and all that yadda yadda yadda. It's a smokescreen. It's manipulation. NEXT...

If she says no, she's being emotionally deceptive... NEXT...

Either way, you're off the hook.

Sounds callous, I know, but it's not just about you or just about her. It's about the level of trust that you build between you.

Caveat: If she agrees to tell you when something's bugging her, you have to be willing to siddown and shaddap and listen. If you dismiss her, then she'll be the one - rightfully - saying NEXT...

If you straight up ask her to be honest with you, she won't be anymore forthcoming with you then had you not asked all together. Women in general are going to do what they're going to do regardless of whether or not you approve. You can either maintain your control from the jump, or you can get into a relationship, start symping, and eventually and inevitably get dumped because you're no longer the same person she was in to when you two first started out.

The choice is yours.