The essence of ****y and Funny: arrogant assumptiveness!!

I have been experimenting with ****y and funny and was initially put off since it seemed to be insulting, but i have discovered a blend that works for me-even in England where you have to tone it down and keep it clever and subtle. Its essence is an arrogant assumptiveness that she is into you and is not doing very well at disguising the fact, and also that you are irresistible to women. Do it in a playful tongue in cheek manner, so she does not think you are just an arrogant sod. When you say these things put on a playful smirk.

For example, here are some lines I have used recently:

"So do you have any interests aside from me?"

"You do realise I am only having lunch with you because I want access to your Blockbuster discounts (she works at Blockbuster)"

"I see you are disappointed i am fully clothed today (last time i saw her was at a toga party)"

When she orders a drink "I warn you I WILL take advantage"

She mentions she does theatre studies "Oh come on, everyone knows that is not a proper degree"

She says she is busy at the time when you ask her on a date "Cancel your plans, I am much more fun"

If she smiles when she sees you or shows any positive reaction smirk and say "I see you have been missing me"

Will think of some more later. Anyone else have any examples along a similar vein.

Very funny stuff. Any guy who used lines like these on me would get a laugh out of me, if nothing else.

Here's one I just fell for: When I asked him if I was committing suicide by riding in his car (he was slightly drunk), he said No - my driving is safe. It's my kiss that's suicidal.

It's surprising how many people just don't get c+f or neg hits, but you seem to have it nailed there with some great examples that are genuinely funny.

I'll just add that it's best to use them sparingly and naturally, and not place much importance on it. It's only meant to lighten the mood afterall.

Yes, these are very good examples in contrast to the absolutely horrible ones that are usually posted around here.

Thanks guys, and I will definitely steal that one from you pantherine.

I find it is best to use them most on a first date, where the mood is quite tense, and if you can get her laughing she relaxes and starts having fun. But the delivery is far more important that the words-use a slight smirk and wink slightly. Also remember the frame-you HAVE to think of yourself as some sort of vain womaniser who thinks he is God's gift to women-but communicate this in a tongue in cheek fashion. For contrast the rest of the time act normally so she can see you are just playing.

A few more that I have used recently:

If you bump into her unplanned say "I see you are stalking me already"

Compliment her for example after she mentioned she won a biology competition at school I said "Gosh you are clever and beautiful" pause while she blushes "I see we have a lot in common already"

A girl i was jogging with said damn my trousers keep slipping down, I should have worn a belt. I said "I am not complaining "with a wink

In a conversation when I used the I WILL take advantage line, she said "but we only have an hour", I replied "Baby, that is 59 minutes and 30 seconds more than I need"

I was driving a girl home and I asked her where I should park. She said "park in the garage". I replied "But what shall I do with the car!" with a smirk

She lingers a bit when it is time to go. I say "I do hope you are not going to be the clingy type"

Good to see some good ol' british wit on this board.
I have one example i pulled the other night at a club.

The girl i was talking to had a unusual necklace on. I pointed in the general area &...
ME: "That looks nice"
HER: (grabs her necklace)"yeah, this is.."
ME: "No, i meant your breasts"
HER: hahahaha (playful slap)

Actually, thats not that witty, or clever, or funny. It did the trick though

I like all of those ****y and Funny comments.

What I like about them is that they are more funny than ****y so it comes across as smoother.

I think that a C/F comment should be more funny than ****y because when it is more ****y than funny, there is more of a risk of turning a girl off.

The way you did it comes across as intelligent, flirtatious, charming, and witty.

Great work!!!

How about some more.

Thanks disciple. You are one of the masters on this board, so for you to compliment a mere novice like me makes me feel very special. I suppose I have always had a good British sense of humour, but only recently have i learnt to transfer this to the dating scene. What helps is that I look extremely innocent and boyish with blonde hair, blue eyes and an open face-so girls often do not believe what comes out of my mouth!

Another one I have used in the past is:

A girl was boasting about how much she drunk during a concert, so I said to her "So, who was playing at the concert....pause....or don't you remember?" It took her a while to get it, but then she grinned and punched my arms.

I also have fun making homosexual references (even though I am completely straight). For example a girl asks me where I am going. I say "To play football. I cannot wait to run around with hot and sweaty men and share a shower together afterwards"

A girl asked me what degree I am doing I replied "Maths, so I am good with figures (gazing at her breasts) for example you are a 32B" I always underestimate her bra size so she gets offended and says something like. "No I am not. I am a 32D". This gives me an opportunity to say something like "Really, I don't believe me. I need proof" . I generally would only use this if I thought the girl wasn't a prude and if she was being flirty-as it has a risk of offending.

If a girl says something like "It's hot in here" I say something like. Really (raising an eyebrow) I thought it was just me.

Another thing I like doing is saying how innocent and naive the girl is. This will offend her and she will try and prove that she isn't.

She says she is going to be late for her lecture/work shift. You say. "Well you can tell the truth and say you were distracted by a handsome stranger/hunk and lost track of time, or you can lie and say you overslept/missed the bus"

Steal away, matt rogers. I’ve used that line myself, in fact, to devastatingly excellent effect.

I’m a blue-eyed blonde, too –got that naïve, cornfed American midwestern look, i.e., I appear to be a fluffy little bunny person, quite well-mannered – on the surface. Which seriously maximizes the effect of my demonic remarks in every situation. Only the smart few get it. That’s how I weed them out.

God you brits are funny.

Great way to explain C&F Matt, I´ll definitely use it.

You also give some great examples, but they are useful as examples only to see how it works. What I have noticed is that you create the C&F comments right on the spot, which is the way that I suppose it works well.

I have tried C&F lines I´ve read in the Internet, but it doesn´t make effect if if the context is not 100% the right one; it´s like "oh, she said x, what a great opportunity to say line y", I think about it; you don´t think about your lines, you create them on the spot depending on the context and without nervousness, everything flows from your attitude, which is maybe why it works well for you. I´ll leave comments on my experience here.

Originally posted by Matt Rogers

Compliment her for example after she mentioned she won a biology competition at school I said "Gosh you are clever and beautiful" pause while she blushes "I see we have a lot in common already"

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i've actually used that technique before....and it works really well i agree! That is probably the best ****y and funny example i've seen, and it can be used in various situations.

That one line gives her a compliment, makes yourself look better in a ****y way, and the whole delivery is just funny. I haven't seen the other person not laugh when a joke like that is used.

These examples posted here are money.

On point.

hahaha
that is some truly funny stuff!
how did u go about developing that sense of humour?
tis exactly what i am going for - funny, but refined

Thanks, evolving nerd, my head is swelling. All I need is some stars (hint, hint) and my head will explode.

I think everyone has a good sense of humour. Once you understand the psychology of ****y and funny, then you can use your own brand of humour and create your own lines.

To reiterate the important frames and techniques to work on are:

1) She really wants you and is not doing very well hiding the fact
2) You are irresistible to all women
3) Use of bodylanguage such as a smirk, a wink, a playful tone of voice to diffuse the arrogance of what you are saying. The key is dissonance. It is tongue in cheek and she must know it. She has got to be thinking "I don't believe he just said that"
4) Gender reversal. Pretend she is the one picking you up. Will do a post on this soon.
5) Showing signs of weakness e.g. complimenting her and then saying something really arrogant (e.g the you are clever and beautiful example

A few more examples:

Gender reversal:

"Would you like to dance"
her "yes"
you "One condition. Promise you won't step on my toes"

If she offers you some chocolate or something, pout and say "No I must watch my figure. You don't get a body like mine by eating chocolate"

A girl was trying to persuade me to buy a black sweatshirt
I said "Sorry, it doesn't suit my complexion and colouring"
She had the same complexion and colouring and mentioned this and said she had one.
I said "Well, I didn't want to say anything" with a smirk

Here is a random one but so funny I couldn't resist

A girl asked me if I wanted to go climbing with her. I replied
"Sure. Lets go climbing (wink) you can show me the ropes (wink). After we are done, perhaps we could go to the sports centre and do some rock climbing"

The girl in question had that open mouth, I do not believe he just said that look.

Originally posted by Matt Rogers

Thanks disciple. You are one of the masters on this board, so for you to compliment a mer4e4 novice like me makes me feel very special. I suppose I have always had a good British sense of humour, but only recently have i learnt to transfer this to the dating scene.

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I sincerely appreciate the compliment man.

Not that this has anything to do with anything, but I am part British on my father's side but then again I am a mixture of ethnicities including African American and Native American Indian.

Maybe my British ancestry explains why I liked tea more than coffee when I was growing up. Don't listen to me, I'm just rambling on right now but anyway keep up the good work and keep those good posts coming.

As you grow and gain in knowledge and wisdom, it becomes your responsibility to share your knowledge and experience with your fellow DJ's, especially the new ones coming in who are struggling to throw off the chains of ignorance and AFCism.

They need you and me.

I like this.....good post.

Originally posted by sandinista
Good to see some good ol' british wit on this board.
I have one example i pulled the other night at a club.

The girl i was talking to had a unusual necklace on. I pointed in the general area &...
ME: "That looks nice"
HER: (grabs her necklace)"yeah, this is.."
ME: "No, i meant your breasts"
HER: hahahaha (playful slap)

Actually, thats not that witty, or clever, or funny. It did the trick though

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it would have been better if you have said "i like your necklace, where did you get it? gumball machine?" This is neg hit that is ****y and funny

Originally posted by big_jeffry
it would have been better if you have said "i like your necklace, where did you get it? gumball machine?" This is neg hit that is ****y and funny

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Nah from experience, I'm pretty sure the

ME: "That looks nice"
HER: (grabs her necklace)"yeah, this is.."
ME: "No, i meant your breasts"
HER: hahahaha (playful slap)

would work better... depends on your personality i guess.

Man matt these lines are the HEAT!