if you can get good at turning friends into lovers you will have an invaluable skill... you'll be able to go in "under the radar" so to speak by befriending a woman before trying to "pick her up." Sure, the process is slower but for men who aren't in a hurry it's great. I will actually do this so that I can get an idea of a woman's true nature while we are "friends" before I begin to date her. I use it as a screening process so that I don't end up with shallow, unscrupulous, or dumb women.

Here's the difficulty...

The woman considers you a friend so, when you start laying the moves on her, she is going to get freaked out, resist your advances, and probably avoid you for a while. So, the challenge is this... getting her to like you before she knows that you like her. It sounds a little grade school when you put it in those terms but that is the essence of the solution.

But, the nature of friendships is one where you just "let your hair down" and "be yourself." You are just supposed to relax and have a good time... it's a whole other world compared to dating where you are always supposed to be putting your best foot forward.

And this is precisely where men run into trouble. You cannot act like a friend with a woman and expect her to become attracted to you. Instead, you must begin acting like a lover (whether you are one or not) before she can begin considering you as a lover.

Makes sense, doesn't it?

Now, allow me to clarify, when I say you are supposed to start acting like a lover I do not mean to make advances on her and, above all, I do not mean that you should start acting really "nice" around her. What I'm saying is that you should start to exude the qualities that women are attracted to. The qualities that women look for in lovers. The qualities that are outlined in the DJ Bible
Avoid these typical friend behaviors:

1.NEVER allow her to talk to you about other men she is interested in. Change the subject, without being obvious about it, if this ever happens. If she is talking to you about other guys you have become the equivalent of a girl friend - not good.

2. Don't be available to her 24/7. Yes, a friend is always there but, remember, you aren't trying to be a friend, your trying to be a lover. In order to be a lover she needs to like you - but not like you as a friend.

3. Don't "just hang out" and do boring stuff. Women want excitement, they want entertainment, they want to go out and have the time of their lives. This is what women are attracted to. Friends hang around the house and watch movies, lovers go out and spend money (just kidding, you don't have to spend $$$ but you do need to put some effort and planning into the activities).

4. Don't spill your guts. Best friends talk about all the embarrassing, idiotic things they have done. Lovers, on the other hand, highlight their positive, admirable qualities and experiences. No matter what she says, she WILL look down on you for telling her about all CRAP you did in the past.

After a while, she should start to give off some signals. Maybe she will look deep into your eyes for longer than normal, maybe she will make subtle hints (that you probably won't notice unless you are watching for them), or maybe she will just come out and say she is interested in you.

The funny (and magical) part about this process is that, whether she realizes it at first or not, you guys WILL be dating. When her friends and family see you guys going out and having fun together they will say things to her like "Are you guys dating?" and "Are you interested in him?" Regardless of her answer, the probing questions of her friends will get her mind working in that direction. The next time you guys go out (and have a blast together) it will be in the back of her mind. While she is having a great time with you she will be thinking "Gee, maybe Jenny is right, maybe I do like him... he sure is fun."

what do u guys think?

Escaping the friendzone is almost as difficult as light getting out of a black hole. But where there is the will - and determination - there is a way.

It's only for sufferers of oneitis anyway, this talk about escaping friendzones, so the regular chasers of multiple chicks on this forum won't find any of this too interesting. The oneitis sufferer, however, probably is the kind of guy who wants LTR with the object of his desire, so investing time and effort in this tricky subject is important to him. Two things spring immediately to mind:

1. The first requirement is immense, and I mean, IMMENSE, patience and beligerence. You just can't expect a girl you are palsy with to turn hot for you overnight. Even when she starts to find you attractive, it may be a long while before she admits it to herself or even wants it to be true, and in between she may continually revert to the friend treatment. Hence the need for patience and beligerence; but hey, she's your oneitis, she's the ONE, so you can wait and suffer while you try to win her over, right?

2. The second and perhaps even greater requirement is wisdom. You need to know how things are progressing, but this is unspeakably difficult to ascertain in many instances, because girls send out confusing and conflicting messages for the very reason stated in point 1, i.e., they can begin to find you attractive, yet their heart is out of sync with their heads. They can slap you playfully when you tease them (and you MUST tease if you are ever to escape the friendzone) or make jokes, and yet the next day be aloof and indifferent as ever before. Hence you must be able to distinguish beween little steps of progress and the sought-after sea-change; confuse the two, and you'll make a move that ends in you being set back months, if not irreversibly.

There are other important points too, but perhaps the greatest of the rest is avoiding becoming disheartened at the slow pace of progress, because negative vibes make you dull, boring, defeatist, beta wimp, object-of-pity material, and the best you can hope for these is she will feel sorry for you and want to mother you. So, be patient, be determined, be optimistic, be playful, don't be her doormat, and refuse to dwell on the many inevitiable setbacks en route.

is it such a bother to go looking for single girls that are interested in you?