so...this girl moved into my apartment building in February, after she moved out from her husband of 1 year. we connected quickly and became physically involved by the middle of march. a few weeks ago she said she's revisiting her marriage and wants to spend time with her husband. she said her brain really wants to get back togethe with him because he's nice , smart, nurturing, and loves her like crazy. but she said she is not attracted to him physically and therein lies her struggle. she said with me that our first kiss was the kiss to end all kisses and she's been very complimentary towards me about our sexual relations. We've made love a few times since she said she wants to get back together with her husband. this has made me feel dirty as if we wer sneaking around. so, finally, a few nights ago, we decided we've got to break the routine so she can explore her husband. we have a strong bond and it's hard to stay away.

the question is: do I withdraw? do I go after her?

I have yet to meet any guy that was ever successful being the "rebound guy" after a LTR. Either they get the fallout of tons of unpacked baggage or they are left to carry the baggage back to the original hotel that the woman was staying.

It may work out some day but it looks as if the odds are against it. Why waste the time and create heartache for yourself?

Don't go for her.

I've been in the exact same situation. I was dating a married woman and everything seemed to be going great. She told me she was incredibly in love with me and wanted to be with me forever. When her divorce was final she left me for some dude she met on the internet.

A few months ago she came back to me. She told me that she had made a huge mistake, that I was the only guy she had ever loved. I told her she made her choice and sent her on her way. When she had first left me I felt horrible about myself...but I got over her. When she came back to me, I realized that when she was with her husband, she wanted me. When she was with me, she wanted the new guy, when was with the new guy, she wanted me. The point of all of this is simply "this is what she does". She is never happy with the person she's with. There wasn't anything wrong with me, it was her fault.

Sorry about going on about my problems here but the point is don't be an emotional tampon. I know the attention is nice, and the sex may be great but don't do this to yourself. Respect yourself more than this. If someone doesn't want YOU and only YOU find someone who does. You are the catch.