View Full Version : SwedishDJ is back from Italy...and he is really depressed.
05-08-2004, 03:23 AM
As I told you in the thread
I have been dating a 12 year older former colleguae (sp?) for about two months. She is 45 and I am 33.
Last week we went to Italy. Had a REALLY great time together. Probably the best trip I have ever made with a female companion.
I thought I had gotten over the age difference by now. Remember, I am looking for an LTR and even marriage. Kids is not what I want though.
However, a couple of things doesn't feel right.
First: This mature, professional women seems to have had a very wild life in her youth. Something that really surprised me. Just goes to show that you really don't know a woman until you have been REALLY close to her. But now I know she's had lots of men and som ONS and so on..... Why can't women ever learn to lie about this sh!t!?
Second: The other day she showed me a couple of photos of her at 35 years of age. Professional fashion-style photographs where she had been really styled nad dressed up.
Believe me, seeing those was like having a huge knife right through my heart! She was a GODDESS ten years ago! Absolutely amazing! It really got me thinking about the age gap again.
-She is still beautiful but now I feel sad that I was left out of her best years. Really sad.
-The woman on those pics would NEVER even look in my direction.
Now I look at her, seeing that she is still very pretty but nowhere near the beauty she once was and think "You had all these men. You wouldn't even look my way if you were as beautiful today. Now you are old. I'm much younger and suddenly I'm good enough for you".
Maybe this is really a confidence problem.
She seems to really be in love with me and she still has a lot of admirers. I really love her and otherwise everything is perfect in our relationship. She is nice, sweet, honest and....quite rich :D .
So guys, how can I get rid of this little voice telling me to date a 25 year old instead? Do I really want to do that?
Thanks for listening,
05-08-2004, 03:39 AM
I read a quote the other day which I think summarizes my position on letting a woman's past interfere with your future.
"Every saint has a past. Every sinner has a fututre."
05-08-2004, 09:17 AM
I think the fact she was even more pretty before is a truism for all women, as women get older. So if you found a young girl now, and got married, she too would get older. Plus, if you met her when she was 35, you'd have been 21, and maybe too immature for her, so you shouldn't think of the "what if" part.
You also said she was a party/wild person before, but has settled now. It sounds to me that you really like the fact she's more settled, and it sounds like you have a good thing going.
Just wanted to add a bit of perspective.
05-08-2004, 01:33 PM
should you be dating 25 year olds? YES!
your situation is all backwards as far as what we've been ranting about here. YOU are 12 years younger than HER! YOU are (should be) in your prime. SHE'S waaaaaaay, past her prime. fvck that!
she's lost her luster? you bet. at her age, she's going to lose it at an accellerated rate.
yeah, i think you've got a little confidence problem. so does she, no doubt---she landed a young guy! YOU are HER eye candy!
i say bail on her PDQ and start moving younger. younger than yourself, that is.
then again, i'm in a bitter mood myself :)
05-08-2004, 01:39 PM
Helllloooooooo, you're from Sweden, the land of the most beautiful women in the world. And the one's I've met are nice, too.
One of my best friends is dating one right now (14 years his younger!) and he went over there and said there are literally 100's of gorgeous women walking the downtown streets shopping by THEMSELVES or with nerds.
No reason to waste it on this 45-year old unless that's what you want.
Also, who cares about someone's past. You didn't know her then, so what. Learn to relax. As I always say, this site is called soSUAVE not soUPTIGHT. Chill, relax, have fun ... and for God's sake remind yourself of what country you're from!
05-09-2004, 12:53 AM
hey, tellus about sweden. i really want to move there. i've heard it's very environmentally nice (air water), progressive (no rednecks) and great tech industry. and, oh yeah, beautiful women. is the downside just that it's too cold? also, can an american guy fit in long term or will he always be left out?
i've always had many european friends and done very well on trips there with ladies. never to sweden though. just got f'd in the a** AGAIN on my tax bill and would love to shaft this freakin' country, put my dolalrs to work where it will be more satisfying
as for YOUR situation, always trust your intuition. it's 100% true this woman would never have looked at you until she had to. in bad moments, she's gonna use your jealousy against you. you will ask, why do i only rater her now, why not when she was a true gem? is she just using me as her "nice guy" now when her bills are going to mount? why doesn't she date a guy her own age?
i had these kind of females as friends in college, the beautiful women, b/c they had no female friends, and i didn't hit on them. it was cool for guys to be like "you KNOW her?" and I'm like "yeah". but I had to dump them all in the end b/c i was too ****ing jealous of their boyfriends. i was just their deusch bag like the required friendly fag
WHY i asked myself does she find me so interesting and entertaining and then goes and ****s HIM? he is so boring that she wants to talk to me all night and frankly i could wipe his ass at just about anything.
ANSWER: b/c he was a Harvard Med/Law/Bschool student and drives a Porsche and acts like a jerk and I was a poor college boy who drives a crappy Honda motorcycle that requires three hrs of work to run well for a day and was a respectful NICE GUY
NOW those same hoes come crawling back to me and say:
HO: oh, gman, it was always YOU on my mind, back then.
ME: sure, ho, but you neglected my dlck all those years.
HO: oh, gman, i've dreamed about your dlck all those years. i was just so busy . . . i don't know why i waited until now to tell you how i realy felt
ME: yes, ho, you were so busy with his dlck in your mouth and it should have been mine. you come to me now b/c you didn't close the deal with what's his face. perhaps you should have swallowed more often
HO: well i will swallow with you every time
ME: no, ho, you won't, b/c my *** is precious, and won't be wasted on your used up throat. my dog, however, might enjoy it
Got the picture sweden man? after years of not existing in the miserable wench's world YOU have the power now. use it like a MAN
05-09-2004, 10:28 AM
You say you are looking for the long term-relationship. It's always easier to give advice like "Should I boink her or not?" - because the answer is almost always YES! Anyways as for the LTR only you can make up your mind beacuse only you can fully asess the situation, but this is my take on it:
You are 33 and do not want kids - what's the rush? If she is the woman of your dreams, sure go with her - but can you be sure you will not be asking yourself later in life what you could have done during your 30's if you hadn't commited yourself to this older woman? When you are 40 and look back at what could be an amazing decade in your life will you feel it was worth it when you look at your partner who is 52 years old? I'm not saying it wont be, and again only you can make the decision - but be damn sure this isn't just a long term crush because you will be sacrificing alot for her.
Her situation is different, she did just what you now have the oppurtunity to do should you choose to do so - live a wild life. When you are 45 you can probably find someone your own age that you feel the same way about - probably - and by then you can say "Hey, I had my fun, now it's time to settle down with this here lovely lady". At that time your current partner will be pushing towards retirement.
Another factor to think about is her feelings towards you. Like you said she was beautiful before and had a wild life with ONS's, are you sure she isn't dating a younger guy to make up for feeling old. Is that the kind of feelings from her side you want to commit your prime to?
I alla fall, som det står många gånger ovan så kan bara du ta rätt beslut för bara du vet vad det handlar om egentligen. Ingen av oss har all info. Det här var bara lite tankar och funderingar från en landsman ;)
05-11-2004, 02:35 AM
Swedish - you did go with her hey! She raped you didn't she?
Why are you even considering being serious with a 45 year old used up hor?? If you are going after a hor why not get a 18 year old one that has 27 years less 'ho experience' and sperm!
Her looks are going to decline rapidly and you will be a 48 year old man with a 60 year old woman - and since a woman's skin (face and body) age 5 to 10 years faster than men in general (more fat less muscle) she will look like a 65 - 70 year old woman!!
A woman's past tells you who she is currently and is the BEST predictor of future actions!! Her past bothers you for a reason - she is a hor!!! Nothing worse then a man having an old used up hor while he is in his prime!!
She should only be a play thing and is someone who you currently long for (a beautiful woman) but she is 20 years late. She is not real - you are visualizing her beauty in her past, you should be visualizing her ugliness in the upcoming future!!
If you marrying this chick I am not coming to your wedding!!! Don't bother to send me an invite!!
Say no to old Ho's!!!!
05-11-2004, 03:56 AM
PRL sums it up again!
Her past DOES matter. And yes, she would never have given you the time of day 15 years ago.
Now she is done with all the studs, losing her looks, and grabbing for a young chump to make HER feel good again.
The question is, do you want to go along with this, or not? Only you can decide.
Personally, I would do it IF SHE IS PAYING for all or most of your trips, etc. After all, older men have to PAY for younger women... turnabout is fair play!
If not, eject!
05-11-2004, 09:28 AM
My God man, you're from the land that has the most beautiful women on this planet. In addition, the ones I've met are kind, classy, educated, and athletic -- foreign words to the average American woman.
If you're in Sweden, enjoy all those young superstarettes. If you're not in Sweden, get your a$$ back there!!
05-12-2004, 02:15 PM
sorry for being absent! Busy working!
Thanks for your replies!
That was a very well written post. Thanks a lot pal! Sverige rockar!;)
The trip so Italy was very nice, and yes, I could hardly walk upright when I came home! :D
At least my D!ck is happy!
I think you are being too harsh on me....remember, I want an LTR and I really like this woman.....However these negative thoughts are killing me.
I'm thinking of sticking with her, taking it really slow to see how it develops.
As for the subject of Sweden.....
I have to agree that swedish women are absolutely gorgeous!
But so are swedish men so there is no less competition for the hot babes here!
Most of them spend there youth f****ng around though so they are all used up by the age of 30....
05-20-2004, 12:17 AM
Swedish - I see you gained a year in age over your vacation - you are now 34!! Is that because it was your birthday recently or is it because she gave you a year's worth of experience in only a few weeks? I imagine the latter is the case. :rolleyes:
I'm not being harsh on you - I know I wouldn't want anyone to call my girl a ho, although it may be a correct assessment. We become sensitive to name calling to those who we are attached to; however, it is by your own account of her indiscretions that I use such a harsh label.
Something is bothering you and you know damn well it is who she is and was (past) that is bothering you, as well as her age. and not my labeling of her.
I just say listen to yourself, listen to your mind, trust your eyes and your mind and leave your lonely and amorous heart out of the decision-making process. She is someone you wished you had at a much younger age.
Is it her character or values that you so admire or is it her money and her vagina? If you are looking for a LTR/marriage I say you are basing it on the wrong factors!
Wake up - you are living in a dream world - The Matrix has you!!!
05-20-2004, 05:33 AM
i think there are some cultural differences.
northern europeans are quite open with teir sexuality. Women are raised freely and they are not afraid to have their good time. (or maybe they are too bored in the darn cold )
wht you may consider as a slut in america may not necessarily be considered as a slut up north.I like their way better though
anyhow, i am not sure if i am the only one to feel this but i think the problem here is not just the good background or the age difference. I think there is a little more to that:
apparently the background is not so left in the back and the good times are still rolling for this lady. For women's perspective bedding a 33-34 year old stud when you are 45, well that is good times. a 34 year old bro instead of a 54 year old bald fat limp dyck sounds like a deal to me...
So now the question comes down to: am i being used(you dont hear this from guys often, lol) You gotta answer that question yourself, well sorry and good luck
05-20-2004, 11:21 AM
Originally posted by SwedishDJ
She seems to really be in love with me and she still has a lot of admirers. I really love her and otherwise everything is perfect in our relationship. She is nice, sweet, honest and....quite rich .
Why you trippin. Who cares if she wouldn't of spoke to you back then or even if she had a wild life before meeting you.
You need to put this in perspective. "the past is the past" Not the future.
You sound like you really care for her so go with it. And make sure she pays for everything too.
You seem to be obsessing on the wrong shyt. It's not just a matter of confidence here...but your getting really into the possession aspect of it.
You don't like that she had sex with alot of other men before you and that is where you getting all twisted.
Tell the little voice to shut the hell up next time. This kind of voice is what destroys good relationships.
But if you feel like you can't handle it anymore....send me her email address and I will take over for ya.
I could use a suga momma right now.
05-22-2004, 02:11 AM
PRL and NEW:
What you wrote about women in scandinavia is very true. We have a much more open mind when it comes to sexuality and women's liberation up here.
No matter how hard I tried it would be impossible to find a virgin over 18 years in this country, and if I did I wouldn't want her anyway.
ONS are very common here. Maybe I wouldn't be so worried about it if I had some ONS too, but I haven't. Not that I couldn't if I wanted, but I'm not interested in smothering sluts in bars or nightclubs. I've had quite a few adies though and a Fvuck buddy or two.... but not 30 like sha had.
She is really settled now though. She cares a lot for me and showers me with attention.
I need to get over these negative thoughts because I'm about to ruin my own happiness.
My goal in life is not to bang as many chicks as possible - It is to find a woman I love and respect and who gives me love in return.
Personality wise - I think this is the one!
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