View Full Version : New life, New problems
04-17-2004, 05:05 PM
I just relocated to Tampa Bay a few weeks ago. Love it here, found a job that I like, very happy with the results of the move and the short term goals I had set out to achieve. Prior to the move I was miserasble. Suffered long winters, worked ungodly hours and had no life what so ever because of it. I didn't even have time for hobbies.
Problem is, now that I have the time, I don't know what to do with it. I just turned 30 today, and I feel like a 40 something divorcee chucked back into the meat market.
Making new friends is also moving along very slowly. I've been out with the people I work with but there are two extremes here. One side is the religious variety, don't drink, don't smoke...great people, but a little too dull for me. On the other end is the drink till you puke on your shoes, park on your neighbor's lawn type. A little to far the other way. No in between here. So I'm out on my own in the social department, and I never had to handle it like this.
Always having friends always made me friends, without ever having to be an outgoing person to do it. I'm lost. I'm considering just hitting a pub, grabbing a beer, walking over to the pool table and asking if I can play winner....and see what happens. Is that it? Is it that easy? I don't know.
Thanks in advance. Cool site.
04-18-2004, 01:06 AM
Tampa ought to be a great place for water sports. You'll meet active ppl instead of bar duds that way.
04-18-2004, 11:21 AM
Right now getting out of the house is the main goal. I want to get into active hobbies, but I also enjoy a dim-lit local tavern to sit & unwind now and again, and know the people there.
So last night I just went out by myself and hit a few of them.
First place was cool, packed, but not very friendly people. These people would literally turn thier backs to you when they find out you're new to the area. Had one or two beers and left.
Second place was dead in the water. Nothing.
Third place turned out to be fun. Within a few rounds I was chatting away, getting good laughs, shaked I don't know how many hands, got free beer and teamed up with a few guys to try to get this hot blonde in a sleek black dress to dance up on the bar. It was a good time and they asked if I'd be back around again. So it I guess I found what I was looking for.
I was just concerned if going it alone would be stupid or not. Guess not.
My phylosophy on meeting people is be a regular. At the gym, the local pub, coffee shop, etc. Eventually, you'll meet other regulars too...
That third bar did seem like it was fun. I'd be back in a second...
elvis aint dead yet
04-20-2004, 11:11 AM
When I was 22-25 years old, I had my first decent paying career starting job and me and my buddies would go out to clubs and bars and have fun.
We made many new friends at these bars as well. But most of the people I met at clubs/bars were just club/bar buddies. Never really hung out with them other then at these club/bar places.
When I moved away and took another job and as i grew older and stopped frequenting bars/clubs, i lost touch with most of these bar/club buddies.
Finding a hobby, something you like to do will more likley find you friends and better quality women then a local pub or bar.
Great to go and relax, but I know from experience, there are some people who never leave the bar scene.
I'd rather become closer friends with some person who shares a common interest and hobby as me, then become friends with a guy you hang out with at a local dive every night.
From experience, many people who frequent bars ever night past 30 years old, male or female, are good people to chat up with when your at the bar, but outside the bar, most are usually not somebody you'd really want to hang out with on a regular basis.
ANd you moved to Tampa where there is plenty of sun, plenty of outdoor activities. Learn something new or do something you love and you'll soon find new friends and females who share the same interests as you rather then making friends with some guy who hates his life and drinks it away at a pub every night.
I'm dealing with the same thing. I just moved to Phoenix from the area I spent the first 22 years of my life. I've always met people through networking, friends of friends, etc. I have nothing to start from here so I'm like a fish out of water. I'm hoping it'll help me become more outgoing, and in turn, better with the ladies.
One of my biggest problems is hooking up with other dudes. It's really hard to make friends with a guy without sounding gay.
05-09-2004, 06:45 AM
Just get involved with groups that you're interested in, eg I'm a member of a theatrical group and have made lots of friends that way. Once you know a bunch of people in an area, you can 'network' and get to know more people.
Bars are ok for 'drinking buddies' but not much else in my experience.
05-09-2004, 05:30 PM
Well, go with your buddies or fun, or perhaps to flirt with women.
But trust me, 100 percent of the people I know who met and either married or had an long-term relationship with someone from this venue failed.
Let's face it, the stuff going around -- booze and cigarettes -- is not healthy.
You want to meet a HEALTHY woman physically and mentally. And usually a physically healthy woman is healthy mentally.
Sounding like a nerd here, but I'd rather meet a woman in a book club than a bar.
If you want to see the problems of clubs, go to the main DJ discussion board and look at all the whiney AFCs complaining how they got dissed/beat up/alcohol thrown in face/trashed/injured in a club.
Go dance, have a few brews, hang out with buddies, and if you get a phone number, tell the woman you're meeting you'd like to go for a bike ride or run ... something healthy. If she doesn't like that, she's a bar fly and stay away.
05-10-2004, 08:02 PM
Appreciate the responses guys.
To update, I've made a lot of progress since the first post. I never did make it back to that bar. I was on a job that ran a few days at a local business (I service equipment for a living) and got to talking to a few employees here and there. One guy was really cool to talk to. After the subject of me being new to the area came up he told me about some local happenings and invited me to come on out this past weekend.
Lots of fun. I pretty much found the right group to get to know. I was all over the city the whole weekend, got clued into upcomming things going on at the beaches day and night, and so on. Mingled with a lot of attractive women too. Damn, they love to hug, don't they? Got some digits. I started to get some connections here and there for some of the social activities I plan on getting into in the near future as well.
It's odd. It's like it just started to fall into my lap without much effort. So I'm really happy with the way things are coming together here. Still lots to take care of though. I don't want to depend on the courtesy of one or two cool people to keep my social life afloat.
Thinking maybe I can turn this thread into kind of a journal, if that would interest anyone. Just keep the updates and see how it unfolds. Anyway, thanks again guys. Feedback is always welcome.
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