Confirmed batchlors...

[Tao of Steve]

have any of you decided that you wish to be batclors for life? If so, what is your reasoning? what do you see as the up and down sides (and leaving the toilet seat up doesn't count!).

[Skel]

I am divided. ON one hand I want children and a life partner. On the other hand I want no children and multiple partners. I figure ill be better off single financially speaking. I guess if it happens it happens and if not, oh well...

[AndoraStar]

Hold up.. how are are you guys?

I'm 28 and I'm not going to be single for the rest of my life.. you're deciding this already??

[Skel]

27

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If you get married just to get married then it will end up in a divorce, as 90% of marriages do. Only marry if you are compatible physically, mentally, spiritually with your partner! If this never happens, then why force it!

Guys always, always, always have regrets when they get married just because they wanted to be married!!

[elvis aint dead yet]

Most guys who claim they want to be bachelors for life at 23 are the same guys who are married by 28.

Go out and do what you want to do. If a lovely women comes along and eventually you wish to marry her, then by all means marry her.

But don't get married because all your friends are. Dont' get married because your parents want you to. Dont' get married because your grandparents want you to. Dont' get married because your friends want you to. And dont get married because some chic wants you to marry her.

Get married because you want to get married.

Same goes the other way.

Don't stay a bachelor because all your friends are. Dont stay a bachelor because your father sleeps around with as many women as possible. ANd on and on.

Do it, either way, because you want to, not because what other people think you should do.

Take their advice, but listen to your own heart and brain.

[coldcoal]

On my end of it, the issue is that the type of woman I would consider marriage with just aren't out there anymore. Seems they're all married now.

[DoubleA]

I'm 30.

Fellas, get married when you're ready. Period. But don't sit around and miss out on a pretty good opportunity with a pretty good woman.

[Ol'BlueEyes]

I'm 25 and I'm not getting married for a LONG time. Financially, I can't afford to. I have enough trouble making ends meet as it is.
I've never had a relationship last more than three weeks, let alone contemplated marriage. I've never met a woman I could trust enough to marry.
Yeah, I'm a bit down.:mad:

[Genghis Juan]

I don't think you have to think in terms of the M word. I am 28, and I am looking for something more significant than an ONS or a fling now. However, it doesn't mean that I want to get married by a certain age, or married at all. I just want a relationship with a good girl if I find one that measures up to my standards. Kids and all the other considerations that come with marriage are not even a blip on my radar. I'm just looking for a quality girl. I would also want to live with her for awhile before the M thing ever came close to happening. I don't think I want to commit myself to a decision between eternal bachelor-dom and marriage now. Either will happen naturally, and if something in betwen happens, then so be it.

[bronyraur]

Never again. I learned alot/it made me the man I am today and have a wonderful child from our union however the "innocence" is gone. I pay a large amount in support but still have more money than I ever did when we were married. I can come and go on during the times I don't have my daughter.

My big mistake:

1. I didn't listen to what my friends/family said about my soon to be wife.

2. I didn't pick up on how she treated others (waiters, etc) or how she handled money.

3. I felt it was the next thing to do in life. I was out of school, bought a house, etc....the next thing to do was get married.

Things aren't the Cleevers in this day and age, remember that.

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
If you get married just to get married then it will end up in a divorce, as 90% of marriages do. Only marry if you are compatible physically, mentally, spiritually with your partner! If this never happens, then why force it!

Guys always, always, always have regrets when they get married just because they wanted to be married!! I have to agree with PRL on this one.... oh my god, what did I just say?

[maranathaman]

I'm 42, and I'm not old enough to get married yet! :D

[Lone_raider]

I'm 21, but I have always said, since I was 14 or so that I would not get married untill I was 28 or older. Now that doesn't mean I'm getting married at 28, just means I will absolutely not consider it untill I am that age or older. I have a lot of things I need to do, and I need to be single to do them. I'm going to graduate school, then I'd like to get a PHD (trying like hell to get full scholarship for Oxford Graduate school). I want to travel around Europe and across the USA on my own, without the emotional baggage of a woman or relationship. I'm also working on a book about WWII, with plans for another that will require me to visit and live in Sweden for a time.

Basically I need to be free for at least the next 7 years to accomplish my goals. I'll date, have one night stands (all though I've yet to do that lol) but I will not get married anytime soon.

[white sox bill]

I'm 44, never married...but my analytical mind is crunching numbers. Consider:

*Divorce rate is 50%
*Of the remaining 50%, 20% of those couples are staying together for the kids sake,fininacial reasons,too afraid of change and so on. Yet another 20% have infidelity involved. This leaves a 10% chance of a happy, funtional marriage.

If someone told you there was a 90% chance of the jet you were about to board was going to go down are you still getting on?

[ShortTimer]

Originally posted by white sox bill
*Divorce rate is 50%
*Of the remaining 50%, 20% of those couples are staying together for the kids sake,fininacial reasons,too afraid of change and so on. Yet another 20% have infidelity involved. This leaves a 10% chance of a happy, funtional marriage.

I'm familiar with the whole "1/2 of all marriages end in divorce" but where are you getting the numbers for your other stats?

[birty]

I will never say never. I know that marriage and children scare the hell out of me. But that's just because of where I am right now. At another stage in my life, it might make total sense.

As Ghengis said, marriage isn't even a blip on my radar yet. I've got to actually meet women and go out with them before I even think about marriage.

That's not to say I haven't asked myself the same question in the past. But I stopped myself from contemplating too long as I realized the absurdity of thinking about whether I would make a lifelong commitment to a woman when I couldn't even ask one on a date.

However, realizing the large failure rate of marriages, and the significant number of marriages that are intact but unhappy, my decision to marry will be a long process. I'm not going to jump in because of pressure or a feeling that marriage should happen at some arbitrary age.

I'd rather be unmarried and happy than married and miserable.

[white sox bill]

Originally posted by ShortTimer
I'm familiar with the whole "1/2 of all marriages end in divorce" but where are you getting the numbers for your other stats?

These estimates are all my own speculation. I have nothing but personal experiences of my friends to back them up. That said, I'll bet I'm pretty close in my estimations

[Falcon Eye]

Originally posted by white sox bill
These estimates are all my own speculation. I have nothing but personal experiences of my friends to back them up. That said, I'll bet I'm pretty close in my estimations

I'll bet your pretty close as well. I'm sure there are lots of guys our there who would like nothing better than to break the chains but haven't worked up the courage to do so. Some eventually will, others never will.

[racerX]

Dont get married. Stay single & you can do & see much more in life. Travel, open your own business, pursue babes, watch sports, visit strip bars, read, go to school. There are lots of things to do w/ your free time when your single. When you are married all it is: work, sleep, work, sleep.....work....work. Most married couples #1 reason for wanting a divorce is: MONEY. Or lack of money. Most wives spend $$$ faster than they make it. Women dont feel content w/ life unless they have a new E-class Mercedes & a new $700k house w/ a swimming pool. Stay single & enjoy life. I have been out of work for 1 year & i love it. I have a low mortgage & have done alot in the year off: i get unemployment so i can still have a life, i have savings & got a home equity loan & bought a small fixer upper condo & sold it & made $30k profit, I visited Ireland, went to a formula 1 race in Indianapolis, seen dozens of movies, read some books, went to Vegas & San Diego. If i was married & lost my job, i would of had to find a job immediately & never had the chance to do these things. When you are married, you are always 1 or 2 paychecks away from being homeless. Thats the way most families live. No one saves. Few people invest.

[WestCoaster]

Either/or, I could go either way. Never been married so I'm deep into bachelorhood, used to it, know how to combat loneliness, have enough friends and hobbies to get me going on a daily basis. I date a lot, but also do a lot of stuff on my own.

I'm fairly happy, but definitely would not rule out marriage if I found the right one ... and in the U.S.A. that is darn tough as many women are corrupted by our sick, twisted TV culture and follow that culture as if it's a life script.

My happily married friends are ones who married real low-key, low maintenance women, who are very educated but also fun loving. One of my friends (whom I'm seeing this weekend) hit a grand slam with his wife. He's average looking, she's da-m cute, but totally non-judgemental and non-bit-y. When I come up there, she hangs for awhile and lets us go out, too, as I only see him a couple times a year. But she's very RARE in this country. I would say she's about one out of 100 women.

All of my friends who felt time pressure to get married or to have kids are terribly miserable right now and contemplating divorces or affairs.

Singlehood isn't bad. I've gone on a bunch of mini vacations this summer, saw a great concert with The Temptations and Four Tops last weekend and had to drive 500 miles to get there ... but I didn't have to ask permission from anyone. I just did it!

That's the beauty.

[dietzcoi]

By now you all know I am the number one enemy of marriage on this site!

RacerX and Westcoaster... dead on as usual

If you only knew how much I regret my marriage and family mistake!

I could be retired from the Army right now and living on the beach somewhere with a reasonable pension... instead my ex wife will be getting half and I am faced with possible time in Iraq or Afghanistan.

If that doesn't scare the chumps away from marriage, I don't know what will.

But they won't listen... they listen to their hormones instead.

Dietzcoi

[Austin Allegro]

I'm 32, and have not had an LTR for seven years. Since becoming a DJ, I've confronted the fact (it's always best to confront your fears) that I might not ever get married or have children - and to be honest, it does not seem all that bad.

Someone pointed out that people follow popular tv culture like a life script, and this is certainly true of marriage. Most people seem to chase the ideal of being 'happily married'.

As Mick Jagger famously sang 'all of these people just can't wait/To walk right into their big mistake'.

I am certainly NEVER going to marry UNLESS it is to a woman who understands what marriage actually is - ie, NOT a fairy tale chick lit pantomime of endless 'romance' - but a social, civil and religious contract, mainly intended for the upbringing of legitimate children. They will also need to understand that marriage has its ups and downs (for better, for worse) and that it will not always be a smooth ride.

However, as the chances of meeting such a woman are virtually zero, I think I am likely to stay single.